Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary.
My name is Hovis and my mother thinks I am mouldy. I hasten to add I do not find this funny and would like to report her to the authorities. Immediately. Can someone help?
I even understand that she has posted on the HHO forums TELLING people I am mouldy. Is this not slander? Can I sue? I am NOT mouldy. I am merely changing into a slightly weird blotchy grey colour up my neck. Frilly likes it - apparently it makes me look unique. Dolly suggested "Special" was a better word so I am refusing to speak to her.........
This week I have been in the Case del Pero again but not with Mum. This time with Boss lady. Apparently my signalling it is early morning and giving the Hovis version of "Morning has broken" accoustically on the door frame is not going down well. She gave me loads more hay the first day I kicked so I thought she was happy I'd made sure her and the foal got up on time. Alas I misread this situation and found myself on the end of a serious telling off. Ooops. Mother says I am turning into an Asbo child but I'm unsure what this means?
Last night Grandma who lives abroad came to see me and did her usual squarking about how big I am. Its not my fault. She is very small but i can see her - i may look like I'm going to tread on her but I'm not. I'm just checking out the mint situation. Apparently this "un-nerves" her. Doing work "un-nerves" me but it doesn't stop mother!
After a quick run round on the rope mum and boss lady put that thing on my nose which makes me feel all mellow and cleaned the back of my knees which are sore again. I'm not a fan of anyone being near the back of my knees but strangely when i have that thing on my nose I'm so chilled out i don't seem to care. Is this mum magic tricks again?
Anyway today it has dawned another beautiful day and Billy and I set out on our hack. Mum and Aunty C announced we were doing the bridelway "in reverse". This worried me as whilst i am very good at rein back, reining back for 9 miles sounded like an awful lot of hard work. Luckily they meant do it the opposite way round to normal so we had some great canters in which i remembered to not pull mums arms out nor tuck my head between my legs and lots of trotting. In fact so much trotting i think mum is trying to either kill me or fitten me up for some big important event. I am of course hoping its the latter......
Anyway we passed some fit birds who Billy and I gave manly glances too and big stallion trotting past. Mum and Aunty C were in hysterics which doesn't help our pulling techniques one bit.
I managed not to wet myself over the chickens who ambushed us outside some farm gates nor when a very very big lorry parked briefly on my feathers. Mum was delighted and I have at long last learnt when mum is delighted i get a LOT of treats when i get back home.
I was slightly less delighted with her hosing me off with cold water when we got back - i was NOT sweating I was glowing. I have therefore gone out into the field looking like a drowned rat but i have got revenge by having a damn good roll. Ha! I am a Hovis Roll. Currently with so much muck stuck to me it looks like seeds on top. I am a proper mouldy piece of wholemeal bap. Now ladies who wants a bite?!!!
My name is Hovis and my mother thinks I am mouldy. I hasten to add I do not find this funny and would like to report her to the authorities. Immediately. Can someone help?
I even understand that she has posted on the HHO forums TELLING people I am mouldy. Is this not slander? Can I sue? I am NOT mouldy. I am merely changing into a slightly weird blotchy grey colour up my neck. Frilly likes it - apparently it makes me look unique. Dolly suggested "Special" was a better word so I am refusing to speak to her.........
This week I have been in the Case del Pero again but not with Mum. This time with Boss lady. Apparently my signalling it is early morning and giving the Hovis version of "Morning has broken" accoustically on the door frame is not going down well. She gave me loads more hay the first day I kicked so I thought she was happy I'd made sure her and the foal got up on time. Alas I misread this situation and found myself on the end of a serious telling off. Ooops. Mother says I am turning into an Asbo child but I'm unsure what this means?
Last night Grandma who lives abroad came to see me and did her usual squarking about how big I am. Its not my fault. She is very small but i can see her - i may look like I'm going to tread on her but I'm not. I'm just checking out the mint situation. Apparently this "un-nerves" her. Doing work "un-nerves" me but it doesn't stop mother!
After a quick run round on the rope mum and boss lady put that thing on my nose which makes me feel all mellow and cleaned the back of my knees which are sore again. I'm not a fan of anyone being near the back of my knees but strangely when i have that thing on my nose I'm so chilled out i don't seem to care. Is this mum magic tricks again?
Anyway today it has dawned another beautiful day and Billy and I set out on our hack. Mum and Aunty C announced we were doing the bridelway "in reverse". This worried me as whilst i am very good at rein back, reining back for 9 miles sounded like an awful lot of hard work. Luckily they meant do it the opposite way round to normal so we had some great canters in which i remembered to not pull mums arms out nor tuck my head between my legs and lots of trotting. In fact so much trotting i think mum is trying to either kill me or fitten me up for some big important event. I am of course hoping its the latter......
Anyway we passed some fit birds who Billy and I gave manly glances too and big stallion trotting past. Mum and Aunty C were in hysterics which doesn't help our pulling techniques one bit.
I managed not to wet myself over the chickens who ambushed us outside some farm gates nor when a very very big lorry parked briefly on my feathers. Mum was delighted and I have at long last learnt when mum is delighted i get a LOT of treats when i get back home.
I was slightly less delighted with her hosing me off with cold water when we got back - i was NOT sweating I was glowing. I have therefore gone out into the field looking like a drowned rat but i have got revenge by having a damn good roll. Ha! I am a Hovis Roll. Currently with so much muck stuck to me it looks like seeds on top. I am a proper mouldy piece of wholemeal bap. Now ladies who wants a bite?!!!
