Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
2 days to go until launch! Wowee! How exciting is that? Well it is for mother shes getting to go to MY launch party on Sunday at Bransby and Im not invited. Plus SHES getting to go on the radio on Saturday and talk about MY book and Im not allowed to go there either. Something to do with me being a horse and therefore no good at radio which I think is discrimination. SO not fair.
Apparently my full life sized image will be at Bransby on Sunday so people can see my handsome face and manly body so I suppose all is not lost. Im hatching a cunning plan to steal that cut out when theyve done with it so when Evil Army Man is coming I can put that in the field and then do a runner to the pub instead. I am a genius!
Anyway this week has seen me mainly sulking. That little rat Hot Stepper has now moved on to Frilly. Not content with nicking Dolly from under my nose hes now nicked the posh bird. Hes been put in a field next to her to get some more grass (how does that work I never get more grass?!) and all shes doing is yelling for him. Dolly is now trying to make amends but once again Im back to taking peoples sloppy seconds when my brothers all finally bogged off I thought those days were over but No! Some highly bred high stepping pansy turns up and once again I am back to being the big of rough on the side that the girls turn too when they have no other options. Life SUCKS!
What sucks even more is mothers ongoing fixation with ruddy circles. Apparently she has entered us into some stressage competition at the end of the month so were practising. Why I have no idea I HATE stressage. I am a jumping machine not a circles queen. Ha! That rhymes sometimes its SO easy to see why I am the writer in this family
Anyway all this poncing about is giving me a headache so I was thrilled the other day when mum told aunty V that her niece could have a go on me if she wanted. Yippee thought I! I like having little people ride me they have no nerves, usually no control and like going fast. Alas Aunty V did not share this view and so we had a sedate mooch about the ménage with her very nice niece. They made a fuss of me, untacked me and then fed me more polos. Bliss thought I thats me done for the day. Alas mother turned up and decided I hadnt done enough work, re-tacked me and beasted me round for another 30 minutes. Is there not a union I can complain to? Sheesh.
But things did improve last night. Mum for some bizarre reason had obviously been snorting that confidence stuff again and decided we were going hacking ALONE. We never ever ever go out alone, ever. Ever, never do you get the idea? Solar eclipses happen more often than mother and I going out alone. Anyway off we went and despite some heavy breathing we had a nice bimble in the countryside with mother rabbiting inane comments in my ears the whole way round. We had a lovely trot and I showed how my big ground eating trot can get us home a lot quicker. Then I very nearly had an oops moment as we came up the back track mother was just congratulating herself on her bravery (?? Dont ask I dont!) when I both heard and sensed a very large buzzing bringer of big beastly bum bites and so decided to strike first. Cowabunga take that biting creature both back feet connecting with your butt! Yeah you guessed it, I gave one heck of a buck which did make mother squeal a little luckily these days her bum is much more sticky than it used to be and she didnt budge in the saddle. Which was a good result all round I felt.
Anyway today cool new shoes man is coming to give me some cool new shoes so Im off to lean on him adoringly to see how hard I can make him breath and what shade of red his face turns before I take pity and actually take my own weight. Laters!
2 days to go until launch! Wowee! How exciting is that? Well it is for mother shes getting to go to MY launch party on Sunday at Bransby and Im not invited. Plus SHES getting to go on the radio on Saturday and talk about MY book and Im not allowed to go there either. Something to do with me being a horse and therefore no good at radio which I think is discrimination. SO not fair.
Apparently my full life sized image will be at Bransby on Sunday so people can see my handsome face and manly body so I suppose all is not lost. Im hatching a cunning plan to steal that cut out when theyve done with it so when Evil Army Man is coming I can put that in the field and then do a runner to the pub instead. I am a genius!
Anyway this week has seen me mainly sulking. That little rat Hot Stepper has now moved on to Frilly. Not content with nicking Dolly from under my nose hes now nicked the posh bird. Hes been put in a field next to her to get some more grass (how does that work I never get more grass?!) and all shes doing is yelling for him. Dolly is now trying to make amends but once again Im back to taking peoples sloppy seconds when my brothers all finally bogged off I thought those days were over but No! Some highly bred high stepping pansy turns up and once again I am back to being the big of rough on the side that the girls turn too when they have no other options. Life SUCKS!
What sucks even more is mothers ongoing fixation with ruddy circles. Apparently she has entered us into some stressage competition at the end of the month so were practising. Why I have no idea I HATE stressage. I am a jumping machine not a circles queen. Ha! That rhymes sometimes its SO easy to see why I am the writer in this family
Anyway all this poncing about is giving me a headache so I was thrilled the other day when mum told aunty V that her niece could have a go on me if she wanted. Yippee thought I! I like having little people ride me they have no nerves, usually no control and like going fast. Alas Aunty V did not share this view and so we had a sedate mooch about the ménage with her very nice niece. They made a fuss of me, untacked me and then fed me more polos. Bliss thought I thats me done for the day. Alas mother turned up and decided I hadnt done enough work, re-tacked me and beasted me round for another 30 minutes. Is there not a union I can complain to? Sheesh.
But things did improve last night. Mum for some bizarre reason had obviously been snorting that confidence stuff again and decided we were going hacking ALONE. We never ever ever go out alone, ever. Ever, never do you get the idea? Solar eclipses happen more often than mother and I going out alone. Anyway off we went and despite some heavy breathing we had a nice bimble in the countryside with mother rabbiting inane comments in my ears the whole way round. We had a lovely trot and I showed how my big ground eating trot can get us home a lot quicker. Then I very nearly had an oops moment as we came up the back track mother was just congratulating herself on her bravery (?? Dont ask I dont!) when I both heard and sensed a very large buzzing bringer of big beastly bum bites and so decided to strike first. Cowabunga take that biting creature both back feet connecting with your butt! Yeah you guessed it, I gave one heck of a buck which did make mother squeal a little luckily these days her bum is much more sticky than it used to be and she didnt budge in the saddle. Which was a good result all round I felt.
Anyway today cool new shoes man is coming to give me some cool new shoes so Im off to lean on him adoringly to see how hard I can make him breath and what shade of red his face turns before I take pity and actually take my own weight. Laters!
Good luck with the launch - will certainly be buying a few copies 
Now I am not sure what that is but I would hate for you to find out. 
