Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
Today i am mainly in a huff. This is due to my mothers dastardliness, my Aunty c's tardiness and and....... damn it I can't think of another "ness" that I can blame!
But first i shall start back where I left off last week. Funky Back lady came to see me, told me I'm gorgeous (I know), in great shape (I know) and possibly being a wimp about my shoulder(SO not true!). she DID say I had tweaked it but it was more stiff than painful - how does SHE know? Its my shoulder?! She gave me a thorough going over, said mum keeps me at a great weight (what is it with these people? do they all need to go to spec savers?) and that all in all I am a total dude. Which I have to agree with
She also bought my book which was nice of her though I suspect its to see what i have written about her.........!
So I had saturday off and then sunday morning came. And a lesson with HER. The lovely petite little boss lady who taught Evil Army Man as a child as thus is far more evil than he can ever hope to be. Firstly she insisted on getting on first and then insisted i work correctly and very hard. For a little person she is SO strong and very wise to all my little tricks I use to duck out of working properly. Then she made mum get on and after 45 minutes I struggled to see which one of us was breathing the hardest. We sounded like a convention of those people who sometimes ring mums mobile and pant down it. There was more sweat than at a steam bath and mum was complaining loudly about how much her legs hurt. HER legs? Try being where i was standing! There was much excited squeaking form the Boss Lady and an announcement that "she'd turn us into dressage divas yet". Over my large hairy dead body lady, I am not trying to be the next Moorland Doritos bloke.
Monday mum kindly gave me the day off but i suspect this was due to her leg pain rather than any though for my health.
Tuesday I had to lunge - with those silly straps on. I was NOT amused.
Wedsnesday mum rode me and like a teachers pet practised all the things dastardly boss lady had shown her.
Thursday MORe lunging in those straps. So after 10 minutes I finally stood up for my rights and refused to do any more. If these people in other countries can revolt then so can i. I am the Destroyer and I am a fighter for the FRC (freedom from circles)!! Alas mother is obviously from the AFRC (Anti freedom from circles) and after a brief altercation merely put me on two lunge lines thus forcing me to do what she wanted. Why can't I have a nice mother? Or at least one slightly less intelligent and down right devious as mine? Life is SO poo.
This mroning Billy my main wing man has been allowed back out to play so mum fetched me in and told me i couldn't have breakfast as we were going out. Alas Aunty C was so late i could have had breakfast and thus i was not amused. Mothers attempts to sell a late breakfast as "cool" by calling it "Brunch" did not go down too well so i bit her bum. I am SO looking forward to her trying to explain the love bite on her bottom to Dad when he gets back from working away. Well I amuse me............
We had a nice hack in the sunshine admiring the machines fetching in the onions, waiting like the two dudes we are for the tractors to go past, stepping out bravely under the irrigators and round the ponds with the pumps running. With Billy by my side we are an unstoppable force of nature............. and he's bigger than me so easy to hide behind.
All in all it was a nice morning until we got back and mum chucked a bucket of cold water all over me. What is with the woman? Sweat is manly, dripping like a melting ice pole is not.
Anyway she has left me in with my "brunch", haynets, water with nice tasting stuff in (because i was a bit sweaty - thats because we trotted the whole hack in 200 degree heat mother) and the radio on. I'm also perving sorry WATCHING Frilly have a shower which is very nice. She may be older than me but mamma mia that mare could win some wet and wild contests. Excuse me while i go and wipe the dribble off my chin on a haynet before she thinks I'm a bit "special". Laters............
Today i am mainly in a huff. This is due to my mothers dastardliness, my Aunty c's tardiness and and....... damn it I can't think of another "ness" that I can blame!
But first i shall start back where I left off last week. Funky Back lady came to see me, told me I'm gorgeous (I know), in great shape (I know) and possibly being a wimp about my shoulder(SO not true!). she DID say I had tweaked it but it was more stiff than painful - how does SHE know? Its my shoulder?! She gave me a thorough going over, said mum keeps me at a great weight (what is it with these people? do they all need to go to spec savers?) and that all in all I am a total dude. Which I have to agree with
She also bought my book which was nice of her though I suspect its to see what i have written about her.........!
So I had saturday off and then sunday morning came. And a lesson with HER. The lovely petite little boss lady who taught Evil Army Man as a child as thus is far more evil than he can ever hope to be. Firstly she insisted on getting on first and then insisted i work correctly and very hard. For a little person she is SO strong and very wise to all my little tricks I use to duck out of working properly. Then she made mum get on and after 45 minutes I struggled to see which one of us was breathing the hardest. We sounded like a convention of those people who sometimes ring mums mobile and pant down it. There was more sweat than at a steam bath and mum was complaining loudly about how much her legs hurt. HER legs? Try being where i was standing! There was much excited squeaking form the Boss Lady and an announcement that "she'd turn us into dressage divas yet". Over my large hairy dead body lady, I am not trying to be the next Moorland Doritos bloke.
Monday mum kindly gave me the day off but i suspect this was due to her leg pain rather than any though for my health.
Tuesday I had to lunge - with those silly straps on. I was NOT amused.
Wedsnesday mum rode me and like a teachers pet practised all the things dastardly boss lady had shown her.
Thursday MORe lunging in those straps. So after 10 minutes I finally stood up for my rights and refused to do any more. If these people in other countries can revolt then so can i. I am the Destroyer and I am a fighter for the FRC (freedom from circles)!! Alas mother is obviously from the AFRC (Anti freedom from circles) and after a brief altercation merely put me on two lunge lines thus forcing me to do what she wanted. Why can't I have a nice mother? Or at least one slightly less intelligent and down right devious as mine? Life is SO poo.
This mroning Billy my main wing man has been allowed back out to play so mum fetched me in and told me i couldn't have breakfast as we were going out. Alas Aunty C was so late i could have had breakfast and thus i was not amused. Mothers attempts to sell a late breakfast as "cool" by calling it "Brunch" did not go down too well so i bit her bum. I am SO looking forward to her trying to explain the love bite on her bottom to Dad when he gets back from working away. Well I amuse me............
We had a nice hack in the sunshine admiring the machines fetching in the onions, waiting like the two dudes we are for the tractors to go past, stepping out bravely under the irrigators and round the ponds with the pumps running. With Billy by my side we are an unstoppable force of nature............. and he's bigger than me so easy to hide behind.
All in all it was a nice morning until we got back and mum chucked a bucket of cold water all over me. What is with the woman? Sweat is manly, dripping like a melting ice pole is not.
Anyway she has left me in with my "brunch", haynets, water with nice tasting stuff in (because i was a bit sweaty - thats because we trotted the whole hack in 200 degree heat mother) and the radio on. I'm also perving sorry WATCHING Frilly have a shower which is very nice. She may be older than me but mamma mia that mare could win some wet and wild contests. Excuse me while i go and wipe the dribble off my chin on a haynet before she thinks I'm a bit "special". Laters............
Pervy Hovis! 
