Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
How do I sack my mother? I need a new PA as she is quite frankly failing to keep the standards both I and you expect. First of all she took the day off last Friday to go to a SPA! Which is a terrible breach of her employment terms - she knows how important Fridays are. THEN she's gone to see Grandma and Granddad in Spain and so I've spent the morning trying to reach her to dictate my diary over the phone. Quite frankly she is a disgrace.
Anyway so back to matters at hand. Last time I wrote you may recall that I was firmly in the good books following my go faster hair cut and jumping brilliance. It didn't last...... Billy and I went out on Friday with mum and aunty C and I was "like a cat on a hot tin roof". Which is a very stupid statement as it was cold and blowing a gale. My new go faster haircut led to some interesting leaps sideways and mother was NOT amused. In fact she did question my parentage rather a lot on that ride....
The weekend then saw boring boring school work then mum went and had an operation on her leg which meant she couldn't ride me. Fab! Thought I. A few days off and some good grass. Alas no. Mum asked aunty Sarah to ride me which has meant some obscenely early mornings as aunty Sarah likes to come before the sun has even risen. Working before breakfast should be banned......
Anyway last weekend mum and dad arrived, announced I was off to meet my public and loaded me on the lorry. I arrived at a big show place and was led into my executive pen area. It wasn't as big as the one at the Lincolnshire show but it was ok. So once again I proved what a "one in a million" horse (someone else's words not mine) I am and allowed lots and lots of people to stroke me, pat me, take pictures of me and generally admire my manliness. Mum signed lots of books and the charity seemed to make quite a bit of money. Mum had 4 offers to buy me which thankfully dad didn't hear and seemed very pleased with me. I was not pleased with the "Do Not Feed" signs that mum put up everywhere so every time she turned round I tried to remove it. Seriously how are people supposed to show their support if not through polos? I didn't eat anyone, didn't bite anyone and according to the boss man of the show was the "run away hit of the show". Not sure what that meant as I didn't run anywhere? Some men came over who do stunts and asked mum if they could buy me as I would be good for the jousting. Mum said no nut dad seemed keen on the two of us learning this jousting thing. Do you think it would help me pull birds?
The next day I went again to see my public although I was a little more keen to stay at home and eat grass which led to mum having a serious guilt trip all day. Which was great as she gave me more carrots. Guilt is fab......
Since then I have returned to my ladies, my "camper than a teePee convention" friend Hot Stepper and Aunty sarahs get up at Dawn fitness campaign. For once I'll be grateful when mum gets back - suddenly lateral work and poncing in circles is perferable to 6 am starts.
So apparently the next step on my route to global domination is Your Horse is Alive in November. I don't think I'm going but mum is. If someone drops out I may still be able to go but I'm not sure I like the ideas of being second choice do these people not know who I am?
And finally a young fan asked me for some more Hovis jokes at the weekend so here are a few more-
Why did mum shout at me to work harder? Because she said I was loafing about......
What job did the boss give the naughty little pony? A Chiffney sweep....
Bom Bom!
Badabish! And thank you!
Til next times folks x
How do I sack my mother? I need a new PA as she is quite frankly failing to keep the standards both I and you expect. First of all she took the day off last Friday to go to a SPA! Which is a terrible breach of her employment terms - she knows how important Fridays are. THEN she's gone to see Grandma and Granddad in Spain and so I've spent the morning trying to reach her to dictate my diary over the phone. Quite frankly she is a disgrace.
Anyway so back to matters at hand. Last time I wrote you may recall that I was firmly in the good books following my go faster hair cut and jumping brilliance. It didn't last...... Billy and I went out on Friday with mum and aunty C and I was "like a cat on a hot tin roof". Which is a very stupid statement as it was cold and blowing a gale. My new go faster haircut led to some interesting leaps sideways and mother was NOT amused. In fact she did question my parentage rather a lot on that ride....
The weekend then saw boring boring school work then mum went and had an operation on her leg which meant she couldn't ride me. Fab! Thought I. A few days off and some good grass. Alas no. Mum asked aunty Sarah to ride me which has meant some obscenely early mornings as aunty Sarah likes to come before the sun has even risen. Working before breakfast should be banned......
Anyway last weekend mum and dad arrived, announced I was off to meet my public and loaded me on the lorry. I arrived at a big show place and was led into my executive pen area. It wasn't as big as the one at the Lincolnshire show but it was ok. So once again I proved what a "one in a million" horse (someone else's words not mine) I am and allowed lots and lots of people to stroke me, pat me, take pictures of me and generally admire my manliness. Mum signed lots of books and the charity seemed to make quite a bit of money. Mum had 4 offers to buy me which thankfully dad didn't hear and seemed very pleased with me. I was not pleased with the "Do Not Feed" signs that mum put up everywhere so every time she turned round I tried to remove it. Seriously how are people supposed to show their support if not through polos? I didn't eat anyone, didn't bite anyone and according to the boss man of the show was the "run away hit of the show". Not sure what that meant as I didn't run anywhere? Some men came over who do stunts and asked mum if they could buy me as I would be good for the jousting. Mum said no nut dad seemed keen on the two of us learning this jousting thing. Do you think it would help me pull birds?
The next day I went again to see my public although I was a little more keen to stay at home and eat grass which led to mum having a serious guilt trip all day. Which was great as she gave me more carrots. Guilt is fab......
Since then I have returned to my ladies, my "camper than a teePee convention" friend Hot Stepper and Aunty sarahs get up at Dawn fitness campaign. For once I'll be grateful when mum gets back - suddenly lateral work and poncing in circles is perferable to 6 am starts.
So apparently the next step on my route to global domination is Your Horse is Alive in November. I don't think I'm going but mum is. If someone drops out I may still be able to go but I'm not sure I like the ideas of being second choice do these people not know who I am?
And finally a young fan asked me for some more Hovis jokes at the weekend so here are a few more-
Why did mum shout at me to work harder? Because she said I was loafing about......
What job did the boss give the naughty little pony? A Chiffney sweep....
Bom Bom!
Badabish! And thank you!
Til next times folks x
I hope you get to go to your horse alive, then I might get to see you 
