Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
Mother is back. Need I saw more? My week off, relaxing and being looked after by the boss lady (who makes a mean bed and is FAR more generous with my dinner than mum is) came to a crashing end when mum hobbled around the corner on Tuesday. Now I know I may have made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whinny of happiness but I can assure you I am far too manly for any such public display of affection..........
Other than Aunty Sarah taking me out for a bimble around the block whilst she was away I have done nothing so as usual mother decided that I may have turned into Satan in the space of a week and so lunged me to get it out of my system. Once again I have no idea what had got into my system? Is it like worms that attack when our parents are away? Anyway I dutifully ran around in circles for mum, then Dad came and made me run round in more circles so I was quite exhausted by the time wed finished. Mum obviously felt this centrifuge action (how posh am I?!) had removed the evil system invading monsters and thus put me to bed happy. I do worry about her.....
In the meantime mums leg is no better so Ive escaped being worked for the rest of the week (ha ha! I like this injured mother lark) although I swear this morning I heard her say that even if she had to vet wrap her leg together she was getting on me later. Apparently the hole in the back of her leg keeps opening up when she flexes her calf (well dont flex it then duh?!) and because its in line with where the zip of her boot goes then its likely to be painful. Well in that case mother I insist you rest it until its fully better. Which may well take until Christmas. Trust me Im a doctor.......
Alas my mothers determination is only matched by her lack of brain so I have a feeling amongst a lot of ouching and ooohing she will be back on board later. I just hope she doesnt bleed down me I dont do bodily fluids......
In other new most of the yard is now in at night apart from my wing man Billy, old Tom and Dolly. Theyre proving how hard they are but I think theyll be inside in the next few days as I think its that time of year when the man upstairs lets humans hang fairy lights in the sky for a few seconds. He also lets them make banging noises so I think we have to be in for our safety.
Frilly has been in for a little while now which is good as I get to say Hi on the way out to my field in a morning. This is me being friendly and nice not me perving at her whilst shes eating which is mothers version of events. Honestly can a man not say hello to a fit bird without being accused of letching. Is letching the right word? Or is it leeching? I get a bit confused with those two.....
Last night I got in trouble with Dad thanks to Hot Stepper. Mum and Dad have been looking after him for a few days as a thank you to Aunty Sarah looking after mums vermin whilst they were away. Last night it was raining heavily and quite frankly I wanted to get inside, get dried and admire Frilly doing the same. So when Dad unleashed me I went in like a boy on a mission. Alas Hot Stepper was as usual gawking about and dad got yanked almost in half. Why this is my fault and not prancy footwork boys I know not. Well I do know its because life sucks. So I got a lead rope across the bum and stern telling off whilst the river dancing pansy got off scot free. I think I have a case for discrimination he gets better treatment because hes better bred than I am. Although one could argue Im better BREAD than he is? Boom boom!!! God damn Im good. On that brilliant bombshell I shall sign off and go and see if I can actually find the grass in amongst this low lying white stuff in the air. Laters........
Mother is back. Need I saw more? My week off, relaxing and being looked after by the boss lady (who makes a mean bed and is FAR more generous with my dinner than mum is) came to a crashing end when mum hobbled around the corner on Tuesday. Now I know I may have made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whinny of happiness but I can assure you I am far too manly for any such public display of affection..........
Other than Aunty Sarah taking me out for a bimble around the block whilst she was away I have done nothing so as usual mother decided that I may have turned into Satan in the space of a week and so lunged me to get it out of my system. Once again I have no idea what had got into my system? Is it like worms that attack when our parents are away? Anyway I dutifully ran around in circles for mum, then Dad came and made me run round in more circles so I was quite exhausted by the time wed finished. Mum obviously felt this centrifuge action (how posh am I?!) had removed the evil system invading monsters and thus put me to bed happy. I do worry about her.....
In the meantime mums leg is no better so Ive escaped being worked for the rest of the week (ha ha! I like this injured mother lark) although I swear this morning I heard her say that even if she had to vet wrap her leg together she was getting on me later. Apparently the hole in the back of her leg keeps opening up when she flexes her calf (well dont flex it then duh?!) and because its in line with where the zip of her boot goes then its likely to be painful. Well in that case mother I insist you rest it until its fully better. Which may well take until Christmas. Trust me Im a doctor.......
Alas my mothers determination is only matched by her lack of brain so I have a feeling amongst a lot of ouching and ooohing she will be back on board later. I just hope she doesnt bleed down me I dont do bodily fluids......
In other new most of the yard is now in at night apart from my wing man Billy, old Tom and Dolly. Theyre proving how hard they are but I think theyll be inside in the next few days as I think its that time of year when the man upstairs lets humans hang fairy lights in the sky for a few seconds. He also lets them make banging noises so I think we have to be in for our safety.
Frilly has been in for a little while now which is good as I get to say Hi on the way out to my field in a morning. This is me being friendly and nice not me perving at her whilst shes eating which is mothers version of events. Honestly can a man not say hello to a fit bird without being accused of letching. Is letching the right word? Or is it leeching? I get a bit confused with those two.....
Last night I got in trouble with Dad thanks to Hot Stepper. Mum and Dad have been looking after him for a few days as a thank you to Aunty Sarah looking after mums vermin whilst they were away. Last night it was raining heavily and quite frankly I wanted to get inside, get dried and admire Frilly doing the same. So when Dad unleashed me I went in like a boy on a mission. Alas Hot Stepper was as usual gawking about and dad got yanked almost in half. Why this is my fault and not prancy footwork boys I know not. Well I do know its because life sucks. So I got a lead rope across the bum and stern telling off whilst the river dancing pansy got off scot free. I think I have a case for discrimination he gets better treatment because hes better bred than I am. Although one could argue Im better BREAD than he is? Boom boom!!! God damn Im good. On that brilliant bombshell I shall sign off and go and see if I can actually find the grass in amongst this low lying white stuff in the air. Laters........
Spilt my drink reading this laughing!! 