Hovis' Friday Diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

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Dear Diary

For once I would like to start my diary with a thank you. A big thank you to all the lovely people who took pity on my mad mother and went to say hello to her at that Your Horse is Alive cult place. She came back in such a good mood and informed me that we sold lots of books. Apparently we had several offers to buy my cardboard imposter and one fairly serious offer to buy me. Thankfully Dad didn’t overhear this.......

But in even more exciting news my talent has been spotted by famous people! Some bloke called Oliver Landsend (or something) signed my book and had his photo taken with my cardboard imposter. I hope he’s not trying to get a ride on my coat tails (not that my coat has tails, I have my own)? This celebrity world is tough pal and you’ve got to make it on your own. Two famous eventers called Pippa and William Windtunnel also posed with mum for photos and signed my book as did some bloke called Geoff. Dad said the man called Geoff canoodled with my mother so I’m assuming she was behaving like a mare in season again. Honestly the woman has NO shame. So all these books are going to be raffled off with first prize also including an option to come and meet me. An OPTION? Why would you not want to meet me? Mum is apparently considering saying the winner can ride me but is worried that the poor person may never walk again. I assume this is due to their legs going weak with the honour of riding the Destroyer? Apparently some lady on my facebook pages implied that this would be a bit like a slave auction which sounded GREAT. I get one of you to be my slave? How cool is that. I told Billy about it this morning and he suggested I might have got hold of the wrong end of the stick. I assured him it wasn’t a stick – it was a carrot, there is no WRONG end and perhaps he ought to go to specsavers? Seriously I follow that dude through some pretty dangerous terrain – I’d like to think he’s not blind.

Anyway mum has still got a hole in her leg so we haven’t worked that hard this week. We did do more walk to go fast things and she’s started getting picky about my head position again. I blame these Stressage riders at these cult places she goes to – they brainwash her. That said we did go out for a hack with Billy and Aunty C this morning even if mum did ride out with her boot undone. I could see Billy was ashamed but too polite to say anything. To be honest I was too busy defending us from the ARMY of tractors that were out to be too concerned about my mother’s continuing decent into chaviness but it really is embarrassing.

I’ve also seen Cool New Shoes Man this week and I have to say I am worried about him. I know I have big feet and big manly muscled legs but I fail to see that they weigh that much. So why he has taken to shoeing my back legs whilst sat down is beyond me. Apparently I should take it as a compliment at how much he trusts me – nope I take it that he needs to get on a keep fit campaign. I can only hope Cool New Shoes Man Junior steps up to the family business soon otherwise I can see his father making me get on a lorry ramp to have my feet done. Lazy git. And he didn’t let me have any of his coffee, spoil sport. He did however canoodle with me in a very unmanly fashion so I did try to bite him to remind him to man up. Alas mother saw me and I can once again confirm that when it’s a bit colder leadropes to sting a little more than usual.


Finally in sad news two of my friends went over the bridge this week. The old attractive mare from my old yard went to be with her friend fit mare and little Arnie from my yard went with her. I am always really sad to lose my friends but I think of them running through the clouds, in amazingly grassy fields, with the sunshine permanently on their backs and know that when my day comes I will see them all again. So i propose a toast (or slurp of water which ever you can manage) to friends in far off lands over the rainbow bridge:

Run my friends wild and fast
Running free, pain free at last
No more to grow weary, no more to grow old
Your time is done, your story now told.

Every day we will miss you here
In our hearts your memory held dear
But the thing we hang on to, that keep us sane
Is that when our time comes, we’ll meet again.
 
No Friday is complete without Hovis. But sad news of your friends, be nice to their owners and give them a snuggle if you see them Hovis.

Def gonna buy some raffle tickets when I know where, when and how!
 
sorry to hear about your friends Hovis - I hate it when they go too.

also sorry to hear your mum is lame - have you tried bran mash poultice to make it better. My mum tells me bran poultice is the answer to everything.... Has she seen the vet and what did they say? (I've obviously missed something!)

Mum's OH has been taking me hunting and has been letting me jump hedges! it's way too much fun, and I got carried away and jumped a pony when it didn't get out of my way in time. OH got told off by Mum for 'letting' me! :D you should try it Hovis - persuade your Dad to take you, it's brilliant! :D

carrots, Ron
 
Hovis you never cease to amaze me with your talent :) what a lovely poem you have written about your friends departure. Thanks for the diary too.
 
:0! A chance to meet the hovis!!!
Were to we buy tickets and can I take 100!!!
Ps sorry about your friends hovis, tell your mum I say hi and hope she's enjoying her new shirt, also I know how it feels to be lame take 4 years for them to fully sort me out!
X
 
Hovis I think that you should raise the stakes in this competition....cash in on your mothers new friends mr landsend or the windtunnels...the prize can be the chance to meet you and watch one of them ride you. After all it would be nice for these pros to get to ride a real horse!!!!!!!!
 
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