Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Afternoon diary
Sorry for the late entry but I have been hiding my head down a rabbit hole all day, trying to prevent the ladies on the yard from seeing my nose. Because it's purple. Bright purple. I shall explain why in a moment but needless to say I am traumatised and very distressed. Anyone want to comfort me?!
So up until yesterday I'd had a pretty good week. Quite a bit of hacking with aunty Sam to keep me fit, a lunge or two with dad to show off to the ladies and admire myself in our new stressage mirrors in the arena (I do like admiring the way my feathers waft in the breeze), a lot of eating great grass and the odd snog or two. Life,for once, was going pretty well. Molly the new girl and I have had quite a few exchanges of spit and even dolly has been all over me. The only annoyance is mother is still insisting that I am brought in at night off the grass when nearly everyone else is out but heh I was the one laughing earlier this week when they all got cold and soaked whilst Molly and I were warm and dry listening to radio 1......
So then last night occurred. Dad walked up to the field to get me and I thought for one brief shining moment he hadn't noticed. But alas he had. Muttering "your mother is going to go nuts" he dragged me back to the stable the way men walked to the gallows. He knew what was coming, I knew what was coming but like an approaching mother shaped hurricane we were powerless to stop it.....
In the bright sunshine for one second she didn't see it, then dad the traitor turned my head so she could see it better. Her eye took in the blood, the large flap of skin hanging off my nose and my ears resonated to the indignant squark that came next. From the look on her face you'd think it was her nose not mine. Seconds later the words "I'm going to kill that black tart" were heard and turning on her heel mother stormed off. Whilst fearing slightly for dollys life I did reflect it was better her than me and sighed in relief that I'd gotten away quite lightly. Should have known better, shouldn't I? Hurricane mother Thompson arrived back in the stable block minutes later, breathing fire and brimstone and clutching the first aid box. Strangely the look in her eye did not make me think TLC was on the agenda and boy was I right. Grasping my damaged snoozle in a vice like grip I was subjected to a thorough scrubbing with what felt like sand paper. And then she finished off what was left of my street cred........
She sprayed my nose purple.
Bright purple.
Which a) stung b) was rather unnecessary and c) makes me look like I'm suffering from gout. I wouldn't mind but it's right on my White bits which make it stand out like a big purple beacon. I daren't stand too close to the road in case highway maintenance men think it's marking a pothole they have to fill in. I know she's trying to stop infection and thus my face falling off but I'm sure there are more subtle ways of doing it. Needless to say Dolly has done nothing but laugh at me all morning. I have tried to tell her that she might not be laughing when mother gets hold of her. This is the second carnivorous incident in recent weeks and mother is NOT amused and when my mother is not amused you don't want to be anywhere near.....
So I have a damaged nose, damaged pride, a pissed off mother, a carnivorous girl friend and what looks like a graffiti painting by a blind banksey wannabe on my face. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry for the late entry but I have been hiding my head down a rabbit hole all day, trying to prevent the ladies on the yard from seeing my nose. Because it's purple. Bright purple. I shall explain why in a moment but needless to say I am traumatised and very distressed. Anyone want to comfort me?!
So up until yesterday I'd had a pretty good week. Quite a bit of hacking with aunty Sam to keep me fit, a lunge or two with dad to show off to the ladies and admire myself in our new stressage mirrors in the arena (I do like admiring the way my feathers waft in the breeze), a lot of eating great grass and the odd snog or two. Life,for once, was going pretty well. Molly the new girl and I have had quite a few exchanges of spit and even dolly has been all over me. The only annoyance is mother is still insisting that I am brought in at night off the grass when nearly everyone else is out but heh I was the one laughing earlier this week when they all got cold and soaked whilst Molly and I were warm and dry listening to radio 1......
So then last night occurred. Dad walked up to the field to get me and I thought for one brief shining moment he hadn't noticed. But alas he had. Muttering "your mother is going to go nuts" he dragged me back to the stable the way men walked to the gallows. He knew what was coming, I knew what was coming but like an approaching mother shaped hurricane we were powerless to stop it.....
In the bright sunshine for one second she didn't see it, then dad the traitor turned my head so she could see it better. Her eye took in the blood, the large flap of skin hanging off my nose and my ears resonated to the indignant squark that came next. From the look on her face you'd think it was her nose not mine. Seconds later the words "I'm going to kill that black tart" were heard and turning on her heel mother stormed off. Whilst fearing slightly for dollys life I did reflect it was better her than me and sighed in relief that I'd gotten away quite lightly. Should have known better, shouldn't I? Hurricane mother Thompson arrived back in the stable block minutes later, breathing fire and brimstone and clutching the first aid box. Strangely the look in her eye did not make me think TLC was on the agenda and boy was I right. Grasping my damaged snoozle in a vice like grip I was subjected to a thorough scrubbing with what felt like sand paper. And then she finished off what was left of my street cred........
She sprayed my nose purple.
Bright purple.
Which a) stung b) was rather unnecessary and c) makes me look like I'm suffering from gout. I wouldn't mind but it's right on my White bits which make it stand out like a big purple beacon. I daren't stand too close to the road in case highway maintenance men think it's marking a pothole they have to fill in. I know she's trying to stop infection and thus my face falling off but I'm sure there are more subtle ways of doing it. Needless to say Dolly has done nothing but laugh at me all morning. I have tried to tell her that she might not be laughing when mother gets hold of her. This is the second carnivorous incident in recent weeks and mother is NOT amused and when my mother is not amused you don't want to be anywhere near.....
So I have a damaged nose, damaged pride, a pissed off mother, a carnivorous girl friend and what looks like a graffiti painting by a blind banksey wannabe on my face. What did I do to deserve this?
all your subjects will have to bow down to King Hovis in the field. Hope your nose gets better soon