Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
I write this in an exhausted, unloved heap of aching muscles in my field. I am neglected and starved, usurped by my new little sister, ousted from my mothers affection by a small thing the size of my hoof. Life is unfair 
As I last reported mum has had a little girl called Lily. I at first thought Lily was quite cute, if rather small but since she doesnt seem impressed by my talent or my fame and actually pulled one of my manly whiskers the other day I am rather rapidly going off her. Mum tells me Im going to teach the little one to ride when shes bigger so at least opportunities for revenge may present themselves at a later date.. Mum even had the cheek to post a picture of her on MY facebook pages. Admittedly dressed as a carrot but still they are MY fan pages not the snot goblins.
Anyway mum has been trying to get ride fit again which is hilarious because she was never fit before the baby. This has meant i've had a fairly easy time of it pootling about the school totally ignoring mother and making her believe its her appalling riding rather than me misbehaving. Ace!
Aunt Sammie has been taking me out hacking at the weekends and other than a few occasions when mother has been a tad later to bring me in than I would appreciate life is pretty good. I hasten to add on these occasions I took my revenge my holing around the field and skidding to a halt inches from mothers feet. Apart from the night when I misjudged my stopping distance and mother had to dive for safety under the electric gate. Oh how I sniggered .
Last weekend I had a lovely Friday afternoon ambling about the school with Aunty Vs niece Amber who is very lovely, thinks I'm great, doesnt expect me to work properly and is over the moon if I give her half a side of the school in canter. I do love easy to please girls, pity my equine females are not so easy to charm. She also gives me carrots and mum wine. I'd like to point out that I do think this is unfair and next time id like the wine too. After all mum didnt do anything other than watch and call out instructions as to how to make me go better. Uncalled for thats what=t my mother is sometimes.
On Saturday Aunt Sam took me out for a hack and reported back to mum that I was full of it. Full of what Im not too sure but mum did seem to think lunging my legs off on Sunday would remove what ever it was. Do you see how badly treated I am?
On Monday mum hauled me out of the field and made me work for 30 minutes. Now admittedly I was distracted by the builders on the roof and the fact that Evil Army Man was there doing someone elses teeth and thus not paying me the attention I think I deserve. So thus I concede I might not have exactly put myself out on the work front. This resulted in a frustrated mother, a sore bum and a decidedly small looking dinner. Still nothing else was said so I thought id got away with it. Until yesterday.
Mum came and dragged me in from the field, tacked me up and strode to the school with a determined air. Ah well I thought thatll last 5 minutes. But no. The big guns were out. The boss lady. Ive said it before and I say it again how something so petite and lovely can turn into such a strong legged hell fire is beyond me. She is SO strong and does NOT take no for an answer, she did after all teach EAM all he knows so it might give you an idea of her evilness.
After 10 minutes of dressage hell she got off me and me and my aching muscles looked forwards to sloping off to tell Dolly all about the pain I had endured. But alas no. That was just her warming me up for mother. Warming? I was fully cooked on gas mark 8. Any more warm and id have been singed around the edges. So then 30 minutes of correct bend, suppleness, working in an outline, working from behind, taking contact and general hellishness ensued. Apparently mother had me brilliantly between leg and hand and that if I put my mind to it I could be quite the dressage star. OMG. Someone rescue me now. Mum is more big bird than Carl Nester and everyone knows I am a jumping machine not a dressage fairy. In fairness mum did snigger about the dressage star bit and promised that when her balance is better well do some jumping again. Judging from the way she was wobbling about like a drunk on a ferry in force ten gale I might get to jump again sometime in 2016. Mum was so pleased by our progress another lesson has been scheduled. Come back EAM all is forgiven
So I am once again been over worked, under fed, the girls are ignoring me, the only one who thought I was fit has left, I have a new next door neighbour who snores all night, oh and a cute sister who deflects all the attention onto her. Can life be any more unfair? Oh yes it can! Mum is selling my executive transport and down sizing as were unlikely to need the lorry now the baby has come along. Excuse me? A star of my status needs my limo, anything else is not acceptable. Pants. AND because of my little sister I couldnt go to your horse is alive this year which is such big pants you could use them as a parachute. My book will be there and mum spent hours signing copies the other week at Bransby so if any of you wants signed copies find the Bransby Home of Rest for Horse stand. Thank you to all who have bought the 2nd book already you have been my one bit of enjoyment. My sister may hijack my FB pages dressed as a carrot but I still have more fans than she has. Ha!
I write this in an exhausted, unloved heap of aching muscles in my field. I am neglected and starved, usurped by my new little sister, ousted from my mothers affection by a small thing the size of my hoof. Life is unfair 
As I last reported mum has had a little girl called Lily. I at first thought Lily was quite cute, if rather small but since she doesnt seem impressed by my talent or my fame and actually pulled one of my manly whiskers the other day I am rather rapidly going off her. Mum tells me Im going to teach the little one to ride when shes bigger so at least opportunities for revenge may present themselves at a later date.. Mum even had the cheek to post a picture of her on MY facebook pages. Admittedly dressed as a carrot but still they are MY fan pages not the snot goblins.
Anyway mum has been trying to get ride fit again which is hilarious because she was never fit before the baby. This has meant i've had a fairly easy time of it pootling about the school totally ignoring mother and making her believe its her appalling riding rather than me misbehaving. Ace!
Aunt Sammie has been taking me out hacking at the weekends and other than a few occasions when mother has been a tad later to bring me in than I would appreciate life is pretty good. I hasten to add on these occasions I took my revenge my holing around the field and skidding to a halt inches from mothers feet. Apart from the night when I misjudged my stopping distance and mother had to dive for safety under the electric gate. Oh how I sniggered .
Last weekend I had a lovely Friday afternoon ambling about the school with Aunty Vs niece Amber who is very lovely, thinks I'm great, doesnt expect me to work properly and is over the moon if I give her half a side of the school in canter. I do love easy to please girls, pity my equine females are not so easy to charm. She also gives me carrots and mum wine. I'd like to point out that I do think this is unfair and next time id like the wine too. After all mum didnt do anything other than watch and call out instructions as to how to make me go better. Uncalled for thats what=t my mother is sometimes.
On Saturday Aunt Sam took me out for a hack and reported back to mum that I was full of it. Full of what Im not too sure but mum did seem to think lunging my legs off on Sunday would remove what ever it was. Do you see how badly treated I am?
On Monday mum hauled me out of the field and made me work for 30 minutes. Now admittedly I was distracted by the builders on the roof and the fact that Evil Army Man was there doing someone elses teeth and thus not paying me the attention I think I deserve. So thus I concede I might not have exactly put myself out on the work front. This resulted in a frustrated mother, a sore bum and a decidedly small looking dinner. Still nothing else was said so I thought id got away with it. Until yesterday.
Mum came and dragged me in from the field, tacked me up and strode to the school with a determined air. Ah well I thought thatll last 5 minutes. But no. The big guns were out. The boss lady. Ive said it before and I say it again how something so petite and lovely can turn into such a strong legged hell fire is beyond me. She is SO strong and does NOT take no for an answer, she did after all teach EAM all he knows so it might give you an idea of her evilness.
After 10 minutes of dressage hell she got off me and me and my aching muscles looked forwards to sloping off to tell Dolly all about the pain I had endured. But alas no. That was just her warming me up for mother. Warming? I was fully cooked on gas mark 8. Any more warm and id have been singed around the edges. So then 30 minutes of correct bend, suppleness, working in an outline, working from behind, taking contact and general hellishness ensued. Apparently mother had me brilliantly between leg and hand and that if I put my mind to it I could be quite the dressage star. OMG. Someone rescue me now. Mum is more big bird than Carl Nester and everyone knows I am a jumping machine not a dressage fairy. In fairness mum did snigger about the dressage star bit and promised that when her balance is better well do some jumping again. Judging from the way she was wobbling about like a drunk on a ferry in force ten gale I might get to jump again sometime in 2016. Mum was so pleased by our progress another lesson has been scheduled. Come back EAM all is forgiven
So I am once again been over worked, under fed, the girls are ignoring me, the only one who thought I was fit has left, I have a new next door neighbour who snores all night, oh and a cute sister who deflects all the attention onto her. Can life be any more unfair? Oh yes it can! Mum is selling my executive transport and down sizing as were unlikely to need the lorry now the baby has come along. Excuse me? A star of my status needs my limo, anything else is not acceptable. Pants. AND because of my little sister I couldnt go to your horse is alive this year which is such big pants you could use them as a parachute. My book will be there and mum spent hours signing copies the other week at Bransby so if any of you wants signed copies find the Bransby Home of Rest for Horse stand. Thank you to all who have bought the 2nd book already you have been my one bit of enjoyment. My sister may hijack my FB pages dressed as a carrot but I still have more fans than she has. Ha!
