How Did You Bond With Your Horse

D

DizzyMare

Member
Joined
27 June 2013
Messages
17
Visit site
I have had a TB Mare on loan for a couple of months now and am still waiting for the click of when she is starting to bond and trust me. I am trying to get down to see her as much as possible and have even been going in my lunch hour to spend time with her. I was wondering if anyone had any other tips and how long it took you to bond with your horse?
 
I think mares can take al ittle longer to bond, the saying 'you tell a gelding but ask a mare' is often true! She of course would have sussed you out within about five minutes :p

Just keep to your routine, let her gain trust in you that you are being real and true and not about to headflip on her. routine is a really positive thing for horses so I think this is where you start but dont forget your boundaries, limitations and consequences if she is naughty. There is no excuse for bad manners regardless of you wanting to bond with her or not :D
 
It took me a long time to bond with my little TB Mare, but now everyone comments on how she is with me - its worth waiting for.

For the first few months it was so up and down it was honestly horrible. She didn't respect my daughter at all (Who I bought her for) she found it very difficult being handled by anyone who didn't have the confdence to handle her. Saying that I have a very soft touch. She doesn't ever get smacked, and I rarely raise my voice - a stern Ah and she usually listens. It wasn't always like that but as OP has said TBs are often classic OCD sufferers and need a good routine.

She arrived with me last July, was indifferent up until October/November. I wasn't really riding her then. I had found my daughter another lovely pony and used to take C down to the school when they rode. I messed round with her, mimicking (Badly) the Parelli style of the horse following you and she would like a dog. We did that maybe a dozen times, which is when she began to think of me as more than just the feed delivery person.

It's all trust & it takes time and I really do think it comes with a lot of ground work - much more than ridden. Take her out in hand, walk her round the school, spend time grooming. The more you're with her the more she'll learn she can trust you.

A friend told me a year. Including both ridden and groundwork I'd say thats about right. Stick at it - it's well worth the effort. :)
 
I have had a horse for about 6/7 wks now, and he hurt himself in the field last week. I can honestly say that through nursing him, changing his bandages, grazing him in hand etc I really feel we have bonded so much.
Am not suggesting horses hurting themselves is a good idea (!) but maybe just the fact that I can't ride him but he needs TLC means we have bonded with no pressure of being ridden....
 
I never think of bonding with a horse .
The horse learns it can trust me because I am consistent ,I work to get Out of the horse what I need .
Yet people tell me a have a great bond with my horses , they trust me that's all.
 
I do dislike that phrase "bond with" - it has Walt Disney implications. It is a question of trust and leadership - be firm, fair and consistent, and they will regard you as a leader, in whom they can place their trust. Time scale? I have known a horse accept that sort of leadership in a very short time, usually by teaching them to respect your space and body language, less than an hour. Then you just have to remain firm, fair and consistent throughout the relationship - you can destroy that trust in one temper tantrum!
 
So true, bonding is an essential part of horse ownership after all. :D

Bond it's hooves to the ground and clipping is so much easier.
Bond your jods to the saddle and falling off is so much harder... etc...
 
Last edited:
The arse of the big rude, ill mannered mare I bought last year bonded very well with my blue pipe.

She is a delight to have around now and the pipe sits quietly in the corner of her box.
 
My horses all love me - simply because I am the bringer of FOOD!

I really don't con myself that I have a bond with any of them, they trust me, and two in particular will walk through, over or under anything I ask them to, but they would do that by themselves anyway so no big deal, but I wouldn't say that there is a single one that would choose me over the herd.

AA love the blue pipe.
 
Marydoll said:
Oh dear god, youre looking to start a riot with that comment :eek::D
Click to expand...

The mare started the riot in the first week of being with me. Her box of tricks included sinking her teeth in my arse when I did her rug up, charging through a door as I slid the bolt back, crushing me up the walls, galloping past the mounting block, refusing to step back, bogging off on headcollar with me ab sailing behind her, pinned me between gate and gate post instead of turning around me.....I could go on.

I hear many people saying the mare must be in pain, misunderstood etc etc and I am a terrible owner. The truth is the mare was only 5/6 when I bought her, she has never been halter broken properly and then spent her youth with a novice owner, with whom she threw her 700kg of Clyde x RID bulk around with gay abandon.

Twelve months on and she is trustworthy, polite, very safe and very loving. She has plenty of character and is a delight to have on the yard. Yes, she had some big smacks, better that than passed from sale to sale and getting ever more dangerous.
 
AdorableAlice said:
The mare started the riot in the first week of being with me. Her box of tricks included sinking her teeth in my arse when I did her rug up, charging through a door as I slid the bolt back, crushing me up the walls, galloping past the mounting block, refusing to step back, bogging off on headcollar with me ab sailing behind her, pinned me between gate and gate post instead of turning around me.....I could go on.

I hear many people saying the mare must be in pain, misunderstood etc etc and I am a terrible owner. The truth is the mare was only 5/6 when I bought her, she has never been halter broken properly and then spent her youth with a novice owner, with whom she threw her 700kg of Clyde x RID bulk around with gay abandon.

Twelve months on and she is trustworthy, polite, very safe and very loving. She has plenty of character and is a delight to have on the yard. Yes, she had some big smacks, better that than passed from sale to sale and getting ever more dangerous.
Click to expand...

Now this ^^^ should come with a like button, she sounds like a cheeky fly beggar who met her match, while im against the beating of horses im not averse to a few well timed skelps to put the cheeky overstepping the mark guys back in their place.
It sounds like shes been running amok and then had a swift dose of reality, and none to soon by the sound of it
 
My new horse has taken the longest to settle of any I've owned .... It's realistically taken about 6 weeks. She was very anxious initially. I decided just to carry on regardless and expect her to do the same job as my other horse. She napped a bit and on the odd occasion waved her front legs around :-/. I started off nicey nicey thinking as she was anxious I didn't want to be too heavy handed. But then one day I thought she was just taking the pee so we had a little stand off and I can honestly say she's never napped again. She had one little rear on a hack where we had a motorbike pelting towards us on a single track road and I honestly think she just didn't know what to do with herself! But after the stand off I genuinely think she has a lot more trust in me than she did before. With her it's a case of holding her hand a bit when she's anxious (less and less often these days) and being firm when she's just testing things a bit. I'm beginning to think she's going to turn into a very nice mare indeed :-)
 
I have no aversion to bonding any of mine to any pipes, sticks or other hard items I have lying around IF they need a reminder of their manners and it's done in a timely, proportionate fashion. Other than that, bonding in this heat is achieved by sharing sweat - we stick together nicely with that :eek:

Really hate this 'bond' fetish that kicks around the horse world. Handle it, ride it, work consistently and fairly and, if there's chemistry, you will get along fine. Bondage is for private liaisons...
 
I would say yes I have a bond with my horse. She'll do anything if I say it's OK, and leave her friends to come and say hello etc. :)

It took me a good year and a half to 'click' with her and really get any sort of bond going. But I was 11 when we got her and she was totally unsuitable as a first pony ;) But after nearly 8 years together I should hope we get on well...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top