How did you cope with a baby and horse?

[a kind of magic]

My baby is due 6th of May and both hubby and I are worried about how we are going to cope. We are moving house 10 miles further away from where we keep the horses (nowhere nearer for them), although not through choice it obviously means we will have an added journey.

We own 6 horses, one is out on a permanent loan, one is for sale (hope to be sold before I pop!) and one is really my dad's horse but he pays for his keep but never sees him. I look after him in exchange for my young stallion getting free livery, then we have hubby's mare and her 8 month old son in a couple of fields which we rent privately.

We aren't the only people with a baby on the way/baby here already and a small herd of horses, so how did all you horsey mums cope?

 

[attheponies]

I didn't - well not very well anyway! I had a two year old, rather rude IDx mare who ended up having the most interrupted education due to three babies appearing in rather quick succession, also resulting in a rather green 12 year old! It's even worse when they are toddlers (the babies not the horses) as mucking out is a nightmare and takes ten times as long. But don't worry, you'll become expert at juggling!

 

[Abacus]

You'll cope... and find a strategy that works for you. You have a lot in your favour - a supportive and horsy OH and family, presumably you have organised or are already thinking about who will look after them while you really can't do anything (just before and after the birth) and, best of all, you're already used to looking after loads of animals so an extra baby here or there won't make much difference!

It's surprising how portable and flexible little babies are. May is a lovely time, they will sleep in their pushchair in the open air if they have to, and it won't be long before you can cart them about in a sling while you do jobs (with safe horses, of course).

Congratulations and just enjoy it as much as you can, and don't feel guilty about everything you don't have time for any more... My horse is now groomed less often, tack is cleaned less often, my mucking out is of poor quality, but he's still a happy horse and I have a happy son.

Due to have my second on the 9th May though and am panicking about that - makes one feel easy!!

xx

 

[attheponies]

Forgot to say though it's great once they are old enough and you get to play with ponies again and even better once they are capable of mucking out, poo picking, tack cleaning........!

 

[mrsbt]

Congratulations I'm due my 2nd on 13th may. It is hard work but somehow we manage. I have 2 horses (one who is nearly 3) and my sister has 2. We alternate mornings which works well and I have to say having her support makes all the difference as I also work full time.
If there's someone you can get to help in those first few weeks when you are getting into a routine that will help.
During the week my husband leaves for work very early so my daughter has always had to come with me to muck out, in the beginning it was easy as she would stay asleep in the car, not so easy now but we are in our routine and manage.

 

[a kind of magic]

I can't wait til my little man is old enough to help lol. We are hoping to keep the 4 who we will have left, they are all incredibly safe and I trust them enough to be around my baby. I've got a few people lined up to help when we get nearer to me popping or just after I've popped, hopefully the weather will be nice which will make it a lot easier!

Hubby works split shifts 10-3 then 6-11 four and a half days a week so in that respect it's bit hard as he's never really 'finished' for the day so as soon as I feel up to it I'll have to take my little man to see the horses with me whilst daddy is at work!

 

[Enfys]

We moved to Yuckshire when E was 6 weeks old (from Devon - complete with dog, 2 year old colt, and an in foal mare) My OH buzzed off to Bosnia for 6 months 2 weeks after E we moved. I didn't drive, horses were 2 miles away up a bloody great hill.

So, E went next door to my neighbour for a couple of hours in the morning while I did the horses, then I walked back up in the afternoons. Knackered was not the word for it, oh and I got meningitis as well at the same time - Mom to the rescue, all the way from France! E was not an easy baby which is why I only have her, I wasn't risking the possibility of having another like her and still being basically a single parent

E just sat in her pram in or near the stables, I had no choice I just got on with it.

When she was 18 months old I moved to Wales because I hated Catsick, MQ and my neighbours (the babysitting one got posted elsewhere) so much it was making me badly depressed. OH lived in the Mess during the week and came home at weekends, usually he got "Here, take it!" and I rode up to the mountain and had some much needed me time. Horses were at a yard 5 minutes walk away, but I had youngsters up on the mountain too.

Priorities change, the horses got fed and looked after but I didn't do much with them until E went to Meithrin when she was 3 and I actually had time for them. OH wasn't home much when she was little, Bosnia, both Gulf conflicts and various other trips away, c'est la vie, you marry a squaddie you marry the army you get on with it.

 

[showaddy1]

You just do!! its hard but you'll survive... I have 4 kids and they have all been brought up around horses. Babyhood is the easiest, once you have an established feeding pattern with baby you slot the horses in. So what if the horses spend an extra hour in the field/ stable?... it wont harm them. For mucking out I would put them in a pram, as they got older I would either get them involved (ensuring safety) or fit it around sleeping pattern.
Its going to be hard, there is no point in lying, but its achievable if you want it.
Good luck, try not to stress x

 

[marmalade76]

I've not kept any of mine stabled since falling pregnant, out 24/7 is the way to go. I had about six years of not doing very much at all, the most I could usually manage in this time was a hack once a week. Only the last few months have I been able to do a bit more (a few days hunting) since my youngest started nursery.

 

[C&C]

I shall keep my eye on this thread....I am not expecting but have always wondered how people manage....it scares the hell out of me as i do not want my horsey life to change (as in selling). I have a few friends who have sold their horse(s) due to pregnancy and they have regretted it after

I have always joked and said if my partner and I do decide to have children they will learn what a wheel barrow and a sweeping brush is very quickly!!!

Its good to hear from peeps that say it can be done

 

[Newlands]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Out first baby is due in 8 weeks eek. I moved my big horse to live out with my two year old in the summer (a month before I became pregnant) he has stayed living out now as I have realised he won't shrink in the rain or sink in the mud. I agree with the above that living out is the way to go if you can. Obviously I am talking from a before baby comes point of view but I know having them both out is going to be better and easier for us all then kept in and at separate places like they were before. Good luck I'm sure you will all be fine.

 

[Bridie&theMinis]

Hello and congratulations
I've got a 3yr old boy and a 17 month old girl.
When I had my first baby, I had my mare and four minis to look after and it was tricky at times but on the whole fine (bearing in mind hubby was practically working 7 days a week at that time).
I used to take baby with me to do the horses (not always ideal but it worked). When son was old enough to be in a routine, I could sometimes go for a ride once he had gone to bed at 7. I only lost the plot once and thought 'what the hell am I doing', when at the end of the winter I was trying to quickly get things done (horses are in during the day at the end of the winter) and my son then aged about 1 fell over in the bottom of the muckheap where it was all gunky, runny and sh**ty. I was so stressed I screamed and quickly took the poor boy home to clean him up. Now he's 3, loves doing jobs on the yard and its great.
When he was nearly 2 I had a daughter, and realised I wouldn't be able to manage. It was about time I retired my mare and my YM who is a family friend, very kindly offered to look after her for the first 8 months and I just did the little ones (who are kept in a separate but close location). tbh I hardly saw my mare at that time (just felt I had no time to do anything), I then took looking after her back on when daughter was 8 months old. It was the right time to take the responsibility back on. I don't know how people manage (and others have obviously done it with 2 babies). In my head I always thought when my youngest is 3 or 4 I'll get another riding horse, but I am absolutely itching already to get another horse as I miss riding alot and now want to try hunting, get back out on the sponsored rides, compete etc. (And there is a beautiful new sand and fibre arena on our yard ). Both the children come up the yard daily and are fine and they ride the minis

 

[Orchardbeck]

I had my a baby girl a year ago on Saturday, and it has been hard, really hard. I kept both of mine at home which was great as I could see them out of the window, but in the winter they had no shelter so I sent them to my parents farm where they lived out in their rugs all winter, running in to a shed for hay and water when they wanted it. - Tip - when baby is tiny, try and get horses out 24-7, then they aren't waiting around for you whilst you feed a little one.

They stayed until May when disaster struck and both of them got laminitis from a big flush of grass. I was devastated as I am usually really paranoid about lami prevention but my mind was obviously taken up with other things. Anyway, both of them were inside for three weeks there until I could bring them back where they spent another three weeks inside, until the younger one then developed an abcess which meant more time inside.

Mucking out was ok, as my baby just sat in the buggy - she was 5 months at this stage so quite liked it. Find somewhere safe to park up and they are quite happy just watching what you are doing. We live on a beef farm so there was always the threat of livestock around but I always made sure she was behind a locked gate.

I'd taken on the younger mare (4yo) on loan to bring on as an endurance pony as my othe mare was getting on in years, and we were doing great hacking out until I found out I was pregnant - with a youngster and a spooky arab x (even at 21!) I felt I had to stop riding which was a shame as she was doing so well. I got back on in March, so around 10 weeks after the birth but I was so nervous, even my old mare who I've had since a 6yo.

With the box rest, the youngster was on her toes and when we began in hand work, she would go totally nuts (understandably, after being cooped up for so long) which made me worse, and in turn her even crazier. Plus my turnout was limited and involved putting my baby in a carrier on my front and leading the horses halfway across a field being used as a stackyard full of spooky objects until we reached the electric fence - mmmm! - I was damned if my baby was going anywhere near the youngster at this stage.

It wasn't going to happen so I made the awful, gutting but very sensible decision to ask her owner to take her back, which she did - all I was doing with her was feeding and mucking her out so she wasn't getting any work.

Anyway, I seem to have eventually got my confidence back on my old mare, who I can lead out alongside the pushchair, carrier, whatever, and ride out confidently again now (she bucked the other day and I felt as if we were back to normal!).

I think it depends on your horse, what your expectations are (I expected to be competing 3 months later - ha!) and your support - my husband is a farmer so works all hours leaving me alone with the baby, and his family, who we live near are all involved in the farm too, so things are never predictable - routines may have to vary to fit around others! Once the stables are up outside the house things will be so much easier as I can feed and muck out/turnout whilst baby is asleep - the monitor will reach the planned spot, I've checked!

Best of luck with baby.

 

[bumblelion]

You just cope because you have to! Once you get a routine going, it's easy, especially when they're babies as they just sleep and drink!! My daughter from being 2 weeks old (she was 6 weeks prem and was in scbu for 2 weeks) came twice a day out to the horses with me in winter. Horses are at home, partners non horsey and works long hours so she had to as i have no help! My daughters now 16 months, she comes out still to see the horseys twice a day, sometimes more, farrier etc. She actually began saying the horses names before mumma and dadda! From doing it from such a young age, its normal for her. She will sit in her buggy whilst I muck out, do nets etc, can walk length of field with her parked up at gate and she doesn't make a sound! So long as I leave my iPod playing her Disney songs in buggy! I look at other kids, they've got no patience, don't get any fresh air and are constantly ill! Iv even got a travel cot/play pen in the tack room/garage for when I'm poo picking! I can see her whilst I'm doing it!! The only thing I find I have struggled with is finding time to ride, as I'm on my own most of the time with her and no family close enough to babysit easily. I'd feel guilty keeping her out for another hour or so, so I could do so. Thinking about putting her in a nursery for a couple of afternoons a week so I can get on my boys!!
Good luck, us horsey women can cope with anything!! Just get a routine going! Both of my boys aren't the easiest to do and I did have my concerns at first but I'd never have sold them etc because I was having a baby, despite certain people suggesting it to me (and even more so when my daughter was born early!!). In my opinion, babies come into your life, they have to fit in! Bit like horses, you can only pander so much!! My daughter certainly loves the horses, it's a great way of life for kids!

 

[nadinek82]

You just cope because you have to! Once you get a routine going, it's easy, especially when they're babies as they just sleep and drink!! My daughter from being 2 weeks old (she was 6 weeks prem and was in scbu for 2 weeks) came twice a day out to the horses with me in winter. Horses are at home, partners non horsey and works long hours so she had to as i have no help! My daughters now 16 months, she comes out still to see the horseys twice a day, sometimes more, farrier etc. She actually began saying the horses names before mumma and dadda! From doing it from such a young age, its normal for her. She will sit in her buggy whilst I muck out, do nets etc, can walk length of field with her parked up at gate and she doesn't make a sound! So long as I leave my iPod playing her Disney songs in buggy! I look at other kids, they've got no patience, don't get any fresh air and are constantly ill! Iv even got a travel cot/play pen in the tack room/garage for when I'm poo picking! I can see her whilst I'm doing it!! The only thing I find I have struggled with is finding time to ride, as I'm on my own most of the time with her and no family close enough to babysit easily. I'd feel guilty keeping her out for another hour or so, so I could do so. Thinking about putting her in a nursery for a couple of afternoons a week so I can get on my boys!!
Good luck, us horsey women can cope with anything!! Just get a routine going! Both of my boys aren't the easiest to do and I did have my concerns at first but I'd never have sold them etc because I was having a baby, despite certain people suggesting it to me (and even more so when my daughter was born early!!). In my opinion, babies come into your life, they have to fit in! Bit like horses, you can only pander so much!! My daughter certainly loves the horses, it's a great way of life for kids!

I totally agree! I had and have similar routines with both my eldest (8) and youngest (2) and it is manageable when you find the routine that suits your situation. The only difference i have is that my horse isn't kept at home. My youngest has came with me since he was two weeks old and still comes every day. When he was a baby he slept in the car in the mornings (could park the car outside the stables) and as he got older i sat him in his pram outside the stable while i mucked out. I don't ride when i've got him with me but i can still lunge, i just sit him outside the arena in his pram where i can see him. If i want to ride i have to do it at night time when my partner is in from work. Now that he's two he sits in the car and plays with his toys for a while then i bring him out and he 'helps' muck out etc. Things do take longer but it really isn't that bad. I would've never considered getting rid of my horses so there was no choice but to get on with it.

 

[DougalJ]

You'll get through it but it may not be an easy ride. If you have a good support network around you ie for baby or the horses then that would make life a whole lot easier. Congratulations and it will all work out! :0)

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I shall keep my eye on this thread....I am not expecting but have always wondered how people manage....it scares the hell out of me as i do not want my horsey life to change (as in selling). I have a few friends who have sold their horse(s) due to pregnancy and they have regretted it after

on the other side of the coin

This is why I decide lonnnnng ago never to have kids . I am too independent I would hate my life to revolve round schools and parents meeting . tantrums and screaming.


I like being fancy free to do what i want when i want

seems that my yard attracts liveries who also dont want kids

good luck to you .hope it goes well and you get it sorted

 

[Booboos]

To be honest it's quite hard. I have 3 horses and one pony at home, plus a 7.5 month old baby and I only cope because I have a groom. A lot depends on the kind of baby you have. Lily breastfed a lot and often so when she was younger I spent some days just breastfeeding and not doing much else. Now the breastfeeding is a bit less she is going through a clingey phase and won't have me out of her sight. She will sit in her pram as long as I am pushing it but the moment I leave her side she cries. OH keeps her for me so I can hop on a horse every so often but he works as well so it's tough. She has also virtually stopped sleeping during the day so getting anything done is very very difficult.

On the other hand, she is totally worth it!

Best of luck to everyone expecting!

 

[woodhurst1]

Hi, it can be very challenging at times but you do find a way! My daughter is nearly two, I managed to muck out 3-4 horses during my preganancy (one on box rest for 4 months of it!) and even mucked out the morning I gave birth! I rode throughout and got back on 10 days after giving birth, would of got on sooner if husband hadnt of been around to insist on rest!! When they are tiny I found aslong as fed and wrapped up I could muck out, lunge etc with baby in buggy, I keep mine at home so could leave her in cot and take baby monitor if I had to pop outside, it gets harder when they get mobile and sleep less during the day!! I now have 8 horses, half are liverys and I get up at 6am and turn out and muck out before 8am when my husband leaves for work, during the day I ride when my Mum or my in-laws can babysit, evening duties my mum usually has her or I take her down in buggy, its a bit of a juggle and I would struggle without help from family, but you can manage, my daughter starts nursery this year so that will free up some mornings too. Life wont be the same but can be better and I really appreciate the times I can get out on the horses now

 

[Brandy]

I don't have any children so can only comment on what I've seen other people do - a friend of mine managed ridiculously well, altough she does only have one horse. She had a baby a couple of years ago, baby came with her to the yard, I have seen her change a nappy on the stable floor (on the changing mat)

I think it helped that her horse is very good - she would walk him to the field with his rope in one hand and the pushchair in the other. Baby would stay in the pram by the school while she rode.

She did only have one horse though!

 

[maresmaid]

I managed because I have a horsey Mum - we shared stable duties and "Grandad" was always desperate to sit with the baby as often as he was allowed! I breastfed both my babies & managed perfectly well expressing milk and leaving it at home if the baby needed a feed. When they were toddlers they came to the stables to "help" - equipped with mini wheel barrow and mucking out stuff. They soon learnt the "rules" even from a very young age and knew exactly what was allowed and what wasn't when they were around horses. You need to keep a close eye on toddlers, & I found the best way was to have them help. The jobs take much much longer but it can work. As said before babies are easy cos you can fasten them in a pram or pushchair and let them watch you work - or do it while they sleep. A baby carrier on your back is good for when they are a bit bigger I took my son into the fields like this (and his first word was "orse"! - but don't tell "Daddy") I should add that I didn't have a full time job, I just did a few hours a week working from home at the time. My top tips are.

1. Be organised, but be flexible.
2. Accept all offers of help / babysitting.
3. Involve the children in what you are doing so they stay safe.
4. Don't expect everything to be perfect either at home or at the stables. Just make sure all animals, & children, are safe, well fed, healthy and happy and don't set yourself impossible goals.

 

[immybrookstud]

my daughter is now 4 october baby, so spent alot of time wraped up on the yard in a pram, moved into a playpen with toys while i was doing the ponies. im lucky our herd have always been really good with her, now yard jobs take forever as she like to help, even helps us run the foals in at night. safety has always been a bit thing, she has always been taught, "stand back an keep safe" she will stand againest stable block if we are leding anything out loading etc. An "stallions bite" not nasty just nibble, but she likes to touch everything oer the doors, just keeps her away from the boys.

only problem i have found is because she has been brought up with them she has no fear and i do need to keep an eye out. caught her walking through the youngstock with a bucket of treats for her pony one day. an she got a chair to climb over our little wall into the stable to "make pretty" brush a yearling colt.

 

[annaellie]

When I had my first baby I was very lucky in the fact I had my mum and dad to help with both horses and my dad would mind my little girl, due to my mum or dad having baby while I done the horses or my mum coming to the yard and either mucking out or keeping an eye on baby it was fine
Second baby I had moved nearly 200 miles and didn't cope at all with baby an horse in the end I put him on loan horse not baby and his loaner ended up buying him, I feel quite sad now that I didn't try harder to keep him as now my baby is at school part time and would be an age to come and potter about at yard with me, it can be done and it feels hard bit it won't last forever

 

[Milanesa]

Great thread it gives me hope I will be ok when time comes!!

 

[catwithclaws]

i had my first baby on 23rd december, so she is now nearly 4 weeks old. during the first half of my pregnancy i had 2 horses, then put one out on loan to a friend, and then went to the sales at 6 months pregnant 'just for a day out' and came home with a 14 month old foal!! however i carried on riding my old boy as normal until 7 months and was still mucking out 2 horses, poo picking etc until the day before i went into hospital (would have been til the day i gave birth, but went into hospital for a routine checkup and they didnt let me out again!)

now that baby is here she comes to the yard with me every weekday without fail while hubby is at work. she sleeps in her car seat in the tack room with a million blankets on while i get on with my jobs, and each time i go past i poke my head round the door to check shes ok. babies are so adaptable, and she doesnt mind in the slightest.

however i am lucky enough to be blessed with the best and most supportive YO anyone could ever wish for. she and her 15 year old daughter absolutely adore my little one, and if ever she cries out its "I'LL SORT HER" as they sprint across the yard before i can even blink. they snuggle her up and heat up bottles for her and feed her so that i can get finished and get her back home. they even offer to babysit if ever i need some 'me' time.

i realise that not everybody has that kind of back up at their livery yard but it was never going to be an option for me to get rid of any of my horses, and u do find a way through somehow!! good luck with your baby

 

[Ladylina83]

Just think you may have to forget matchy matchy ....but a few years on you can be doing stuff like this !

 

[Shazzababs]

LadyLina83 - I love the resigned look on that pony's face!

OP - I think you just have to cope. I almost didn't, we have no family nearby, but we all survived. Mine is now 18 months, and I juggle a full time job in the equation as well.

Actually going back to work made things easier as I get 45mins between getting home, and the nursery run. At the moment that is mucking out time, but in the summer I got a 30 min ride in most days.

 

[Ladylina83]

I think he was having a power nap ! He's already won 2 classes that day

 

[nikCscott]

Congratulations!

It's going to be a juggle and will be easier at first its when they want to be out of the pushchair the hard works start

I may get shot down by saying this, but life with a baby gets a lot easier when you're in a routine, and I don't mean a regimented schedule, but a routine so you both know what is happening next in life and can also help with the night time sleeps.

My husband works abroad and went away when DD1 was 10 days old so I know that if i was to cope we needed to be organised and bought the Baby Whisperer book (there also use to be programme to The Baby Channel) it's easy to understand and really helped and supported me.

Obviously there will still be days (illness, teething or growth spirt) when everything goes out of the window But it helped me and I have given it as pregnancy gifts to friends and most have then gone on to recommend to others.

Have fun and enjoy it all

 

[nikCscott]

Just think you may have to forget matchy matchy ....but a few years on you can be doing stuff like this !

Thats great - I love the 'bull' behind too. We have a pony covered in the grass stuff you get at butchers and green grocers with artificial flowers stuck on and my girls dressed as a bee and a lady bird. Go no photos though- next year!