How do I convince my mum..

Life is so unfair isn't it! Here's me, one uninterested son (despite best efforts), would love a keen offspring to share my horsey passion and you get these poor girls with uninterested mums! I agree too if it were my daughter I would much prefer riding keeping them occupied to any other potentially dubious pastime.

It's sad but only option is to self fund as others have advised, best of luck I'm sure you will all get there if you want it enough!
 
Spend your money on getting your drivers licence then maybe a little car then you can get a part share, cos even if you had a horse in a field you would need to get to a feed shop to buy feed, hay in winter, etc etc. by doing that she will see you are growing up to be responsible and you still have the rest of your life to have your own horse. Sadly they are there for life not just a couple of years. Thats what i would do. If you have a little car you would be able to go further to yards that do need your help. Good luck.
 
If you really really want a horse nothing will stop you! When you are 18 you will be an adult so your Mum cant stop you. I suggest that you save till then and advertise in the free equine adverts for a horse for you to care for even if not able to be ridden you will learn a lot by looking after one. Where there's a will there's a way!
 
I haven't read the replies so sorry if I'm repeating things.
You're nearly 17, so I would concentrate on saving up for lessons and passing your test.
Once you can drive you'll have so much more freedom and can travel to get a better job. Then you can get your own horse and tbh your nearly at the age where it's up to you what you do.
In the mean time is there no one who needs their horse exercising in return for stable duties?
Your mum is probably just being cautious as horses are a big commitment especially financially.
I feel super lucky that I come from a horsie family, my mums more obsessed than me!
 
I would buy yourself a little scooter, as you mentioned, and give yourself the freedom to go out and share someone's horse, while still saving a bit.
 
If this really is an accurate description of your situation I would say your mother is being very unfair. Going back on a promise to your children is a betrayal of trust. (If its not accurate - you're a spoilt b***!)
However, you're old enough to get married. You're old enough to join the army. So if you're earning money to cover all it's needs - just get the horse. Then prove that you are a conscientious owner while keeping up with work, studies, household chores...... Then tell your Mum she can have a ride whenever she wants.
 
oldjumper said:
If this really is an accurate description of your situation I would say your mother is being very unfair. Going back on a promise to your children is a betrayal of trust. (If its not accurate - you're a spoilt b***!)
However, you're old enough to get married. You're old enough to join the army. So if you're earning money to cover all it's needs - just get the horse. Then prove that you are a conscientious owner while keeping up with work, studies, household chores...... Then tell your Mum she can have a ride whenever she wants.
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Sorry but I think this is shocking advice... At 17 with no transport, a part time job, and no real experience, and not quite enough money. Just get the horse?? Really ?

Think really long and hard about it.
 
shmoo said:
Sorry but I think this is shocking advice... At 17 with no transport, a part time job, and no real experience, and not quite enough money. Just get the horse?? Really ?

Think really long and hard about it.
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Agreed, and who will the op turn to if a big vets bill crops up? Oh yes, probably the mum who was against her daughter buying a horse in the first place! Never mind the fact that the mum will probably need to step in if daughter can't cope/falls ill etc.

I've seen it so many times when teenagers go out and buy and within a year have lost interest, can't cope with the responsibility of ownership or the horse, or are burdened with other life issues that invariably crop up and the horse is left neglected or struggling to be sold.
 
Thank you everyone for all your replies. After reading all your posts I have decided against getting a horse for now. I have decided on buying a moped so I can get around and will move out before I get my own horse.

Thank you all for being totally honest and I hope you can all see i'm not really immature :o just excited!
I shall wait until I can drive/ride a moped and then look for a part-loan. I really don't know enough about horses to have my own :o and I will spend all my time learning from books and from you guys on here.
Thank you for being understanding :)
Thanks again :)
 
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Very good decision and one later in life you will look back on positivly. with out being patronising you are young(im aged )and many years ahead . soak up all the experience you can and when the time is right you will get the horse if your dreams :) x
 
babymare said:
Very good decision and one later in life you will look back on positivly. with out being patronising you are young(im aged )and many years ahead . soak up all the experience you can and when the time is right you will get the horse if your dreams :) x
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Not patronising at all! Looking into it, I really don't know nearly as enough as I should! I'm just going to be learning and saving for a good few years. Hopefully you guys will accept my lack of equine knowledge and help me out :o

oldjumper said:
Job done!!
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For a few years :p
 
Defo recommend a moped! I'm 19 got a moped and just gives you the freedom without the horrendous cost!
I'm sure you will be able to save up in no time, I have a past time job while at uni and just this week I have brought myself a youngster!

I share a horse already with my mum, but we always wanted a youngster so can 'overlap' competition wise. My dad kept saying 'No way' but I did my sums worked out I could afford it and in end he just said I can't stop you as over 18. So I would recommend getting moped and save up to buy a horse or loan (though I hate the risks of loan) when your over 18 so your responsibility. Will be perfect to get your mum involved though! A lot of cost especially with the starting cost of equipment (luckily i don't need that for my youngster!) good luck!
 
MerryVB said:
Defo recommend a moped! I'm 19 got a moped andjust gives you the freedom without the horrendous cost!
I'm sure you will be able to save up in no time, I have a past time job while at uni and just this week I have brought myself a youngster!

I share a horse already with my mum, but we always wanted a youngster so can 'overlap' competition wise. My dad kept saying 'No way' but I did my sums worked out I could afford it and in end he just said I can't stop you as over 18. So I would recommend getting moped and save up to buy a horse or loan (though I hate the risks of loan) when your over 18 so your responsibility. Will be perfect to get your mum involved though! A lot of cost especially with the starting cost of equipment (luckily i don't need that for my youngster!) good luck!
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Thank you for replying :)
I am looking at mopeds now, and I need to get my provisional license as I haven't got it yet. Mum is going on about 'won't I be better with a car' and 'What happens when it rains' all sensible questions but i'm needing to get about now, so definitely going to go for a moped I think.
As for a loan, i'll have to look into what i've got left after moped expenses and rent (probably little)
I'm going to be open and say a lot of it is jealousy, ie, seeing people riding down the road just makes me quite sad :o and that's made me not be realistic about this.

Good luck with your youngster!! :D
 
Depends where your going to go but one major problem with moped is you can't carry tack! I don't have a secure place up stables so mum has to take car every morning and evening to go pick it up!
Just a thought! Rain etc all fine just be careful with pot holes! I have had moped for 3 years now and still a learner as you can do CBTs every few years.

Yeah it is awful seeing people with horses when you want them! perhaps just be around horses might be good for you? I volunteer a lot with RDA and events which I love, seeing as my horse at the moment is not up for competitions. Also turned to small event photography this year and already getting my name around locally so see if any other routes in horses that You will enjoy! :)
 
When it rains you put waterproofs on or you get wet :D As for the cant carry tack, I can carry a saddle, bridle, my hat, whip,brushes, hoof pick, and headcollar on mine. The small stuff goes under the seat. The saddle flaps are wrapped around and secured with the stirrup leather and then placed in the foot well, with the stirrup leather attached to the "handbag hook" so its secure :D
 
MerryVB said:
Depends where your going to go but one major problem with moped if you can't carry tack! I do have a secure place up stables so mum has to take car every morning and evening to go pick it up!
Just a thought! Rain etc all fine just be careful with pot holes! I have had moped for 3 years now and still a learner as you can do CBTs every few years.

Yeah it is awful seeing people with horses when you want them! perhaps just be around horses might be good for you? I volunteer a lot with RDA and events which I love, seeing as my horse at the moment is not up for competitions. Also turned to small event photography this year and already getting my name around locally so see if any other routes in horses that You will enjoy! :)
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It's just jealousy, it's cruel. And i'm not really embarrassed to admit that I do get jealous when I see someone on a horse. I've got to be realistic and if it'll take a few years before i'm financially and mentally/physically stable enough to get a horse, i'll just wait.
I really do want to learn as much as I can before I look for a loan as it'll be mega embarrassing if I found one and didn't know anything :o
 
Dexter said:
When it rains you put waterproofs on or you get wet :D As for the cant carry tack, I can carry a saddle, bridle, my hat, whip,brushes, hoof pick, and headcollar on mine. The small stuff goes under the seat. The saddle flaps are wrapped around and secured with the stirrup leather and then placed in the foot well, with the stirrup leather attached to the "handbag hook" so its secure :D
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Got an answer for everything you! :D
 
Dexter said:
When it rains you put waterproofs on or you get wet :D As for the cant carry tack, I can carry a saddle, bridle, my hat, whip,brushes, hoof pick, and headcollar on mine. The small stuff goes under the seat. The saddle flaps are wrapped around and secured with the stirrup leather and then placed in the foot well, with the stirrup leather attached to the "handbag hook" so its secure :D
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Thats brilliant! though not sure my mum will allow me to do that with a less than a year old saddle we brought!
 
I had a moped at 16-18 and it was great! We lived in the middle of nowhere and it really gave me my freedom. I miss how little it cost to fill up!

Beware of what you carry - what you can balance on it and what is legal if pulled over by the police are two different things.. You shouldn't have to carry tack if you're sharing a horse anyway, or helping someone out.. Always wear high-viz and its not a bad thing to do a riding and road safety course first - gives you a good road awareness and knowledge of proper signals and road use.
 
Honey08 said:
I had a moped at 16-18 and it was great! We lived in the middle of nowhere and it really gave me my freedom. I miss how little it cost to fill up!

Beware of what you carry - what you can balance on it and what is legal if pulled over by the police are two different things.. You shouldn't have to carry tack if you're sharing a horse anyway, or helping someone out.. Always wear high-viz and its not a bad thing to do a riding and road safety course first - gives you a good road awareness and knowledge of proper signals and road use.
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Thank you for replying. Just waiting for all the grief i'll get from my friends when they're driving and i'm on a moped :D
 
Just to say, never give up.*

I'm 25, in full time work, I drive, I house share to keep rent costs down and I still don't have a horse! Admittedly, I am a part time Masters student (that eats a huge chunk of my money) but that's prep for the future.

It will happen for you one day. I unexpectedly got offered a ride on a horse a couple of weeks back. Whoopee! It's rained since then. Not whoopee.*

I'm another one that gets horse envy. When I see people riding down the road, I get really sad but it's just natural. Sometimes, we can't impatient because we can't live the life we want to but in everything we do, we're working towards that goal.

Don't give up, just remember, there are plenty of years yet to be a horse owner/loaner/keeper/cuddler. Establish yourself first :)
 
Kat_Bath said:
Just to say, never give up.*

I'm 25, in full time work, I drive, I house share to keep rent costs down and I still don't have a horse! Admittedly, I am a part time Masters student (that eats a huge chunk of my money) but that's prep for the future.

It will happen for you one day. I unexpectedly got offered a ride on a horse a couple of weeks back. Whoopee! It's rained since then. Not whoopee.*

I'm another one that gets horse envy. When I see people riding down the road, I get really sad but it's just natural. Sometimes, we can't impatient because we can't live the life we want to but in everything we do, we're working towards that goal.

Don't give up, just remember, there are plenty of years yet to be a horse owner/loaner/keeper/cuddler. Establish yourself first :)
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Just need to get up my knowledge, sort travel and sort my finances out first. Yeah, i'll still get jealous, yes i'll still envy people with horses and look at horse adverts online :rolleyes: but I know in my head that i'm not getting one until everything's perfect and that way I won't have to sell or mess up!
Admittedly I do not know enough! So i'm just going to spend my time reading up on horse care, illnesses, feed, etc.. and maybe next year try to find a part loan. :)

Good luck getting your horse!
 
Thanks! One day!

I've noticed I've started reading a lot more non-fiction recently, I'm starting to appreciate knowledge! You can never read too much, especially about horses!!
 
What a lovely poster Parachute is. I'm sure it wont be long until her dreams of horse ownershipare realised.

Good luck with the moped - drive carefully! xxx
 
Thank you everyone:) advice very much appreciated! Will keep you all updated on potential moped updates :) xxx
 
Just wanted to say good luck with everything!!

I've wanted a horse since I was 5 and got on the Christmas just gone at 22 :)
I asked and asked and asked every Xmas and birthday and never got. Eventually I figured the parents (rightly so) weren't going to get me one and, like you, I finally decided to get a job and a car and do it myself :) honestly it's the best feeling and the way you're heading, I'm sure you'll be feeling it soon!
 
My parents were similar to your mum. So, when I was 13- many moons ago- I got a paper round, and worked part time in a shop to initially increase my money to have extra riding lessons as well as helping at the r/s. A short while later, a mare was advertised to share, with the only expenses to me being the shoes. I could bike to her yard about 3 miles from my home, and my parents couldn't really say no as I could afford the shoes with my part time work. I had her for 4 years, when I was then working full time, and wanted to buy my own to move forward with. So, at 17 but working full time, I saved like mad and brought my first horse.
My daughter has had it lucky, as I now own my own yard, and although she has a part time job to pay for her horse's feed, she has no other costs. I do make a point of her buying items I do not feel necessary.
You will get there. I do think when you have to work that bit harder to get something, when you finally do get it, you appreciate it so much more.
Good luck.
 
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