How do I help the old and the new pony?

[Lindsay1205]

Hi! First time poster here and greatful for wisdom and advice from those with experience of successfully helping their ponies with separation anxiety. We have a 15 year old pony with us on a weeks trial, background known and has been a quiet steady pony club type in previous home of 3 years. Whilst there, had company of other horses though his field mate moved to sales livery about a month ago. On arrival to us we put him in a field separated with double fencing of about a metre with our usually very easy going 32 year old mare with cushings. Unfortunately in the two years she's been with us she hasn't had the company of another horse, except from our neighbour who hacks by and occasional visits to her old stables. We've been able to offer her daily turn out and lots of tlc in her retirement but hoped the addition of our potential mother daughter share pony would be good for her too. Two days in and each pony becomes distressed if the other is taken from the field. Yesterday walking in hand and repeat return visits to the paddock before going further was helpful in settling the new pony and he was good to ride but it was hard on our old girl. Today I took her in to her stable for a groom and scratch and she managed ok but the new pony struggled left in the field. Bucket feeds during transitions, treats and distraction all seem to help to some extent but I'm conscious that it's very early days and would like to give them both the best opportunity to make this work...while also ideally needing to attend a vetting and ride to try the new pony. Thanks in advance!

 

[smiggy]

I’m not sure that leaving one in the field will ever work. I always bring all mine in at once or someone would be upset. Have you tried bringing in both and leaving one in stable with Haynet etc ?

 

[Seattle Slew]

Horses who have been kept alone are much more prone to separation anxiety once they finally have equine company, as they have been living with high cortisol and the stress of being a herd animal alone.
Ideally I would add a third horse so they are never alone, but if you really can’t I would bring both in and stable one while the other is worked.
It’s early days, but remember they are herd animals and their instincts tell them that being alone means getting eaten by something with sharp teeth.

 

[Red-1]

I keep 2 at home, and have done with several horses. Some have also had a period here alone, although that is not ideal.

I'm afraid the only way to make it work is to decide if it is important to you, and if it is, they have to learn that it is happening. Generally, I will start by stabling the one being left, so they are contained, fitting a grid if necessary so I can be sure they will stay contained. I would take the other, initially only as far as the arena, but the key is to not return until the other has calmed down.

From the remaining horse's point of view, what generally happens is the friend is removed, the remaining horse makes a fuss and the friend comes home. I believe the remaining horse believes the fuss made their friend come back. So, I do it that the friend does not return until the remaining horse is calm. They learn that their friend returns when they are calm.

I will sometimes swap forage, so if the horse is usually on hay, I will give some haylage. Remove the horse and return once the remining horse is interested in the haylage. Increase the amount of time I will leave them. It makes them becoming calm a quicker thing.

I won't put them out in the field and leave until they are very established in not giving two hoots that the other horse is going out. The field is a space where they could damage themselves, more than a stable.

Once they are established in the stable, I would have someone help me and stable the horse until I am gone and they are calm, then turn the other out. Usually they go back to eating quite quickly. That is like a bridge to learning to be alone in the field. I will also practice putting only one out in the field, bringing it in then putting the other out in the field. This would be daily until it is just routine.

One pair I had, they were very bonded and this stage was tricky. That was cured when I did a month with one out in the day and one out at night, until they no longer expected the other to always be with them. After that, I could move them wherever.

I have had 11 horses here, in my years here, as a pair and they have always quickly settled to being in the field and only showing mild interest as the other goes off hacking alone. I appreciate that there is some discomfort to them whilst they are learning to be independent, but I only have 2 stables so it is a lesson they need to learn.

They key is consistency, and not returning their friend until they are calm, making the steps small so they calm down quickly. Small steps such as only going to the arena, or removing the other to the field, or just whatever small steps suit your set-up, but never returning until they are calm.

It is a faff but then people are then jealous that I can ride either and the other may lift their head and give a whinny, especially when I leave or return, but they then go right back to eating, no fuss, no running around. TBF, Rigs gives a little whinny when we leave or return on foot, no other horse involved. It is quite endearing, to get a welcome home. It is the same with or without a horse.

 

[Orangehorse]

It is very early days. The one left behind should be safely contained in a stable with food, maybe a treat ball if they like that. Good advice above.

I have had a succession of companion ponies, and I never left them out when I took the other away for a ride. If I went away with the horse overnight I would get someone to turn the pony out after I had gone and they generally trotted up and down for a bit and maybe neighed, but soon settled down. But that was after they had been used to being left while I rode out.

I was a bit scarred, as I had left my big horse out by himself after my other horse went on loan. He was OK when there were cattle in the adjoining field and he liked to lick them over the fence. But after they were put in the shed for the winter one windy day he jumped out over the fence and then over a cattle grid to follow some horses that were being ridden along the lane. He was never left alone again!

 

[Exasperated]

I keep 2 at home, and have done with several horses. Some have also had a period here alone, although that is not ideal.

I'm afraid the only way to make it work is to decide if it is important to you, and if it is, they have to learn that it is happening. Generally, I will start by stabling the one being left, so they are contained, fitting a grid if necessary so I can be sure they will stay contained. I would take the other, initially only as far as the arena, but the key is to not return until the other has calmed down.

From the remaining horse's point of view, what generally happens is the friend is removed, the remaining horse makes a fuss and the friend comes home. I believe the remaining horse believes the fuss made their friend come back. So, I do it that the friend does not return until the remaining horse is calm. They learn that their friend returns when they are calm.

I will sometimes swap forage, so if the horse is usually on hay, I will give some haylage. Remove the horse and return once the remining horse is interested in the haylage. Increase the amount of time I will leave them. It makes them becoming calm a quicker thing.

I won't put them out in the field and leave until they are very established in not giving two hoots that the other horse is going out. The field is a space where they could damage themselves, more than a stable.

Once they are established in the stable, I would have someone help me and stable the horse until I am gone and they are calm, then turn the other out. Usually they go back to eating quite quickly. That is like a bridge to learning to be alone in the field. I will also practice putting only one out in the field, bringing it in then putting the other out in the field. This would be daily until it is just routine.

One pair I had, they were very bonded and this stage was tricky. That was cured when I did a month with one out in the day and one out at night, until they no longer expected the other to always be with them. After that, I could move them wherever.

I have had 11 horses here, in my years here, as a pair and they have always quickly settled to being in the field and only showing mild interest as the other goes off hacking alone. I appreciate that there is some discomfort to them whilst they are learning to be independent, but I only have 2 stables so it is a lesson they need to learn.

They key is consistency, and not returning their friend until they are calm, making the steps small so they calm down quickly. Small steps such as only going to the arena, or removing the other to the field, or just whatever small steps suit your set-up, but never returning until they are calm.

It is a faff but then people are then jealous that I can ride either and the other may lift their head and give a whinny, especially when I leave or return, but they then go right back to eating, no fuss, no running around. TBF, Rigs gives a little whinny when we leave or return on foot, no other horse involved. It is quite endearing, to get a welcome home. It is the same with or without a horse.

This advice is about as good as it gets, and clear for OP to follow!

 

[ycbm]

I keep 2 at home, and have done with several horses. Some have also had a period here alone, although that is not ideal.

I'm afraid the only way to make it work is to decide if it is important to you, and if it is, they have to learn that it is happening. Generally, I will start by stabling the one being left, so they are contained, fitting a grid if necessary so I can be sure they will stay contained. I would take the other, initially only as far as the arena, but the key is to not return until the other has calmed down.

From the remaining horse's point of view, what generally happens is the friend is removed, the remaining horse makes a fuss and the friend comes home. I believe the remaining horse believes the fuss made their friend come back. So, I do it that the friend does not return until the remaining horse is calm. They learn that their friend returns when they are calm.

I will sometimes swap forage, so if the horse is usually on hay, I will give some haylage. Remove the horse and return once the remining horse is interested in the haylage. Increase the amount of time I will leave them. It makes them becoming calm a quicker thing.

I won't put them out in the field and leave until they are very established in not giving two hoots that the other horse is going out. The field is a space where they could damage themselves, more than a stable.

Once they are established in the stable, I would have someone help me and stable the horse until I am gone and they are calm, then turn the other out. Usually they go back to eating quite quickly. That is like a bridge to learning to be alone in the field. I will also practice putting only one out in the field, bringing it in then putting the other out in the field. This would be daily until it is just routine.

One pair I had, they were very bonded and this stage was tricky. That was cured when I did a month with one out in the day and one out at night, until they no longer expected the other to always be with them. After that, I could move them wherever.

I have had 11 horses here, in my years here, as a pair and they have always quickly settled to being in the field and only showing mild interest as the other goes off hacking alone. I appreciate that there is some discomfort to them whilst they are learning to be independent, but I only have 2 stables so it is a lesson they need to learn.

They key is consistency, and not returning their friend until they are calm, making the steps small so they calm down quickly. Small steps such as only going to the arena, or removing the other to the field, or just whatever small steps suit your set-up, but never returning until they are calm.

It is a faff but then people are then jealous that I can ride either and the other may lift their head and give a whinny, especially when I leave or return, but they then go right back to eating, no fuss, no running around. TBF, Rigs gives a little whinny when we leave or return on foot, no other horse involved. It is quite endearing, to get a welcome home. It is the same with or without a horse.

This.

I am always puzzled by posts saying you must have 3. I've had 2 many times over the years and I taught them to accept it that one will be away for a few hours daily and a couple of days now and then.

One was initially so frantic he would have come out over the stable door, so the top door was shut. Within 2 weeks he could be left either in a stable or on his own in the field (though he could never be brought out of the field on his own unless bridled!).

.

 

[Lindsay1205]

I’m not sure that leaving one in the field will ever work. I always bring all mine in at once or someone would be upset. Have you tried bringing in both and leaving one in stable with Haynet etc ?

 

[Lindsay1205]

Thanks all for taking the time to reply and Red-1 especially for the detailed break down, appreciate that you have given advice I can work with for two ponies, three isn't an option. Orangehorse that sounds like a scary day!

Older mare actually did manage well in the stable yesterday on her own so have some hope progress can be made. Going to go this morning and get some of her favourite chaff which she hasn't had for a few weeks with being out and try bring both in before take new pony out. Thanks again!