How do I say this is so wrong?

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IveGotAnOldNag

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I am a lurker who really needs some advice, so have plucked up the courage to join.
My friend has a lovely little 3 year old that she does not have the time for.
He is about 15hh and quite finely boned. He is quite TB like.
She wants to send him on loan to a 14 odd stone rider to bring him on.
How do I tell her that this is really not on without us falling out?
 
Is it really that bad? I'd rather have a 14 stone rider who rides well than a 10 stone rider who is heavy handed and thumps about.
 
I'd politely but truthfully say that while I respected that it was their horse, imo I wouldn't want someone of that weight on it at this time.
Meandmyself, 10 stone of novice rider thumping about will feel heavier than 10 stones, but 14stones will feel like 14 stones no matter how well they ride.
 
meandmyself said:
Is it really that bad? I'd rather have a 14 stone rider who rides well than a 10 stone rider who is heavy handed and thumps about.
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Would you really not mind having a 14 stone person on a not even fully grown lightweight youngster? i know i wouldnt, i weigh 10 stone and wouldnt want anything heavier on my lightweight 16.2 who is rising 6. 3 is young to be 'brought on' in the ridden sense. I would hint to your friend that she should keep her horse for at least another year doing alot of groundwork before thinking about bringing her into regular ridden work.
 
ImmyS I doubt your lightweight 26.2 would have an issue with 14 stone....or 20 for that matter!:D

now you've corrected height to 16.2 so more sense;-) I wouldn't have issue with 16.2 with 14 stone, even if lightweight. You would be better off worrying about the quality of rider as others have said
 
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I think the more worrying thing is that horse is 3 so not fully developed, by the sounds of it he's going to need a lightish rider when fully fit but at this crucial stage of education he will need a smaller rider.
 
meandmyself said:
Is it really that bad? I'd rather have a 14 stone rider who rides well than a 10 stone rider who is heavy handed and thumps about.
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I don't agree. 14 stone is 14 stone and can never be less than 14 stone. 14 stone is also around 4 stone too heavy for a fine boned 15 hh 3 year old. I despair sometimes...
 
SaharaS said:
ImmyS I doubt your lightweight 26.2 would have an issue with 14 stone....or 20 for that matter!:D

now you've corrected height to 16.2 so more sense;-) I wouldn't have issue with 16.2 with 14 stone, even if lightweight. You would be better off worrying about the quality of rider as others have said
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Haha yes I own a giant horse!

No but still personally I wouldn't have more than about 11 stone on my girl. 14stone is a lot, I don't think horses should have to carry a lot especially with tack aswell.
 
rockysmum said:
LOL, dont know if this is for real or another attempt to start a heavy rider arguement.

Assuming its for real I dont agree with you, end of :p:rolleyes::D
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I'm not trying to start anything. I'm one of those heavy riders. (Well, minus the riding part at the moment.)

If the owner has made their mind up that the horse is going to this person, then I don't see how the OP can say something without upsetting the apple cart.

14 stone may not be ideal for the horse. A lighter rider would likely be better.
 
Op, what are your concerns? Is it that he is too young? Too small for that weight? Or this rider is not not good enough?

It's really up to her. You can voice your concerns by asking her in a way that doesn't undermine her like "don't you think he is too young?" Or "she sounds quite heavy for such a little one" or "wouldn't it be better just to turn him away until you have more time?" but just remember to respect her wishes. You can only be a voice of reason, if not she may think you are being intrusive.
 
meandmyself said:
I'm not trying to start anything. I'm one of those heavy riders. (Well, minus the riding part at the moment.)

If the owner has made their mind up that the horse is going to this person, then I don't see how the OP can say something without upsetting the apple cart.

14 stone may not be ideal for the horse. A lighter rider would likely be better.
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I wasn't talking about you, just the OP choosing this subject for a first post :D :D
 
SaharaS said:
Yes wagtail, very much joking as to my knowledge I'm sure there are no horses measuring 26.2 -immys made a typo which she since corrected making my post nonsensical
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By the way I corrected it before I saw your post! Wasn't trying to make you seem silly!
 
it's your friends horse so her decision but you could have a quiet word and voice your concerns if you think that is appropriate.

this year I put myself through an immense diet to lose 3stone so I could back my youngster myself who is 15.3hh and definitely no lightweight but I still wouldn't have put myself on at 14.5 stone!!
 
PapaFrita said:
As the owner of a 3-nearly-four YO, I wouldn't particularly have an issue with this, assuming the rider is good and sympathetic enough. There is more to bringing a young horse on than just the weight on its back.
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Exactly, there is more to bringing on a horse than the weight on its back, which is why I think if a little young horse had to carry 14stone around with it as its first experience of ridden work, I would think its quite possible you would end up with a bitter horse. I would like to think a lightweight experienced and sympathetic rider would be a far greater experience for a young horse.
 
ImmyS said:
Exactly, there is more to bringing on a horse than the weight on its back, which is why I think if a little young horse had to carry 14stone around with it as its first experience of ridden work, I would think its quite possible you would end up with a bitter horse. I would like to think a lightweight experienced and sympathetic rider would be a far greater experience for a young horse.
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Weeeell, I was the first person on LC because whilst I'm no feather, I'm by FAR the only person I trusted to take it at a pace HE was happy with and not push him too hard. I'm not 14 stone but I know someone who IS whom I've gladly allowed to ride PF and she's 15.2 and built like a credit card. Course she's much older and fit, etc, etc.
BUT my point is that given certain stringent criteria, I WOULD certainaly consider a 14stone rider on LC.
 
Just tell her politely, but straight.

Also point out that of the loaner was a serious prospect she wouldn't be 14 stone, and would understand her limitations of what she could ride, and what she couldn't...
 
Never backed a horse so can't comment on weight but got me thinking how does she know the loaner weighs 14 stone?... when i go to look at horses i don't go around telling the current owner my weight..? :p
 
PapaFrita said:
As the owner of a 3-nearly-four YO, I wouldn't particularly have an issue with this, assuming the rider is good and sympathetic enough. There is more to bringing a young horse on than just the weight on its back.
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No :eek: LC is never nearly four already. Please say you have bought something new and I'm not just getting so old that time is going by that fast already!
 
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