How do I stop being so paranoid

J

Janetterose

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My mare dies about at the end of may from bladder cancer. We did not know that it was cancer until the last minute but up to that point had suffered from cystitis for a couple of months. i spent weeks watching her for signs of peeing and blood in her pee and know ing that there was something very wrong with her but at the same time became completely paranoid thinking that I was panicking over nothing. Since then I have a got a new horse and he has suffered a kick from another horse and is on box rest. He has a mirror, feed ball and lick to keep him entertained.

Yesterday he started to do very strange things such as stretching his neck out, shaking his head, yawning continually etc. I thought they could be stable vices but have never seen that kind of behaviour before and started to panic - I felt sick with worry and uncertainty. I rang my vet and he said they probably were vices and he is fine this morning.

I am worried that I am becoming one of these paranoid clients that vets hate. I just seem to have lost all my confidence even though I did nothing wrong with my mare. What can I do?
 
stretching, yawning and shaking is what my horse does to stretch out muscles usually when he has been lying down in the stable. also you can ask people on the forum and remember the vet is there to help you and if he comes out you pay him and keep him the job!! you'll find it easier as time goes on and you aren't waiting for anything to go wrong.
 
As above, my horses do the same thing.
Very sorry to hear what happened to your mare.
I think you just have to give it time, you had a traumatic time with your mare and your brain is still on Red Alert, by the sounds of it. if in doubt i would try to ask someone else's opinion before you call the vet. but vets would rather be called than for people to think "oh, it'll be okay" and then call them hours later when a problem might have worsened seriously (particularly with colic symptoms for example).
shame that your horse is on box rest, that can't be helping. lots of time spent with him will be good for him and will increase your confidence again because you'll get used to all his little ways, i would think. very best of luck.
 
Lots of time, and your vet's number on speed dial is probably the only cure for being paranoid. It's taking me a lot longer to get over my horse's tendon injury than I thought, and I am lucky enough to still have her with me; I can't imagine what you must have gone through/be going through, but like I said it will just take time.
 
He is 13. I think he is just bored and probably a bit stiff as well and of course it is always out of hours that you notice these things.
 
I am sorry for your loss. You poor thing, you have been through a lot.

At 13 he definitely is not teething. I do not think you are being paranoid, you have been through a lot and will be on constant red alert which will decrease with time. You will be feeling raw at the moment.

As somebody said, it is normal for a horse to yawn and stretch when they have been sleeping. Also different horses have different ways. A friend's horse yawns and rolls his eyes back in his head which freaks me out each time. My horse dosent do this.

If you are concerned about him have an EDT look at him to be on the safe side and to put your mind at rest.

Its a matter of getting used to his little ways and he is very lucky to have somebody to look after him so well.

x
 
I'm sure your boy is just stretching, he is on box rest! I'm sure if you sit around or stand around for ages you need a stretch so its the same with horses.
Don't worry about being paranoid, you have suffered a great loss and it does take time to recover from it. Its better to be paranoid than just not pay attention.
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Sorry for the loss of your mare, sounds dreadful
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Izzi xx
 
Hi

It sounds as though you are really needing reassurance now as you haven't forgiven yourself for what happened to your mare. What did happen could have been to any one of us and you did what we would all do which is to involve the vet and accept their diagnosis and treatment.

We all try to do our absolute best for our horses and this must have been a very shocking and traumatic time for you. Especially as you mention that you knew something was 'very' wrong.

I would take comfort that you did recognise that something was not right. Many may not have been as observant. On the other hand some may have been more 'paranoid' and still unable to change the ultimate, and very sad outcome.

Use this forum to check out any fears you have re. behaviour of your new horse until he becomes as familiar to you as your mare was. It won't take long for you to relax but the peace of mind we all get from talking these things through with each other is priceless, and certainly saves many unnecessary vets bills.

Of course if something is 'nagging' you must listen to that too - ring the vet and pester the pants off them. They charge us enough!

I hope things start to settle with your new horse (bad luck about that kick, you probably feel guilty about that too??). They are complex animals and we do our best. Be kind to yourself and trust your instincts.

Good luck.
 
NEVER worry about pestering your vet- as others have said- we pay them enough!

I call my vet so often he recognises my number and answers it 'Hello Emma' (Enough said!)- and yes, im still a member of their practice, they havent got rid of me yet!!
 
Oh how awful.

I too am exceptionally paranoid with Vogue after Henry, to the point that if I see her lying down I make her get up (I know, I'm terrible!)

I've also had the vet out twice for (it seems) no reason, but to me what she was doing wasn't 'normal' and many people will remember Henry being 'not quite right' a couple of days before his haemmorage.

I'm slowly beginning to calm down a little but it is taking a lot more time than I expected.

Don't worry about calling the vet, any vet worth his salt won't mind their paying client wanting advice/reassurance. I was worried about peeing off my vet with Hens, but he did say he'd rather a phonecall to check something than the (many) owners that leave it until the last minute and treatment options are limited.
 
I am really sorry to hear about your mare, sounds awful.
I would echo what others have said: you can't help but be worried (I had a horse with stifle problems PTS three years ago but I still compulsively check everyone else's stifles!), the forum can be very helpful and your vet is paid to help you out.
 
I too ditto everything else everyone has said. So sorry to hear of the horrific experience you had to go through with your poor mare. I lost my Arab when he was only 8 to stomach cancer and was told by the vets at Bristol that internal cancer is a rare thing in horses; your mare was terribly unlucky. As time goes by you start to relax more but it is hard at first. It's so unfair when something so rare hits you personally.

Try not to worry about your gelding. If your new boy is on box rest he's probably dozing/metally-resting a lot of the time you're absent or when the yard is quietish. When you turn up to pay him attention he'll invariably snap out of his 'resting mode' and want to have a good stretch and shake. Mine too yawn a lot in the stable. Noticeably a lot. Yawning draws in extra oxygen to their system and perks them up mentally, so it's probably nothing more than his way of waking himself up fully.

Try not to worry. X
 
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