How do riders change a light bulb?

DRESSAGE QUEEN:
Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!


CLASSICAL DRESSAGE:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.


EVENTER:
Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway.


SHOW JUMPER:
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my ass. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.


NATURAL HORSEMAN:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available at $179.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should
 
S

scotsmare

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LOL
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LOL brightened up my day no end! The eventer is soooo me i always school in the dark in the winter as we have no lights!!!!!
 
Horse breed one:

How many horses does it take to change a lightbulb?


Thoroughbred: Who, ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of lightbulbs...I'm outta here!

Arabian: I changed it an hour ago. Come on you guys, catch up!

Quarter Horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.

Standardbred: Oh for Pete's sake, give me the darn bulb and let's be done with it!

Shetland: Give it to me. I'll kill it and then we won't have to worry about it anymore.

Friesian: I would do it, but I can't see where I'm going with all this mane.

Belgian: Put the Shetland on my back. Maybe he can reach it then.

Warmblood: Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the Thoroughbred come back here and do it.

Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Pleeeaase let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! I'll rewire the barn afterwards, too.

Appaloosa: Y'all are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that darn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double-barrel him.

Haflinger: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?

Mustang: Lightbulb? Let's go on a trail ride instead. And camp. Out in the open, like REAL horses.

Lippizan: Hah, amateurs. I will change the lightbulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn't think so.

Miniature: I bet you think I can't do it because I'm small. You know what that is? It's sizeism!

Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it's my owner's lightbulb and no one else has ever touched it.

Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the lightbulb to my personal groom, after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle...but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.

Cleveland Bay: I'm busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.

Saddlebred: My ears are up already, please, please get the light bulb away from me! I'm ready to show, really, I promise I'll win!

Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.

POA: I'm not changing it. I'm the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now excuse me, I have a feed room to break into.

Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and changed it while you were all arguing

Dunno what a "POA" and "Grade" horse is though?! Must be American.
 
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