How do you balance work and horses?

Behati

Behati

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Hi All,

I used to have horses when I was younger and pretty much had to give up when I went to study in Uni due to pressure from parents.
I'm in my 30s now and my dream never changed, to have my own horse again.
The only problem is I can't find a way of logistically making it work. I work 9am to 5:30pm. My commute is an hour and a half each way to work, so getting home at 7pm is fairly regular to me, assuming I leave on time which again isn't always possible due to demands. I don't have flexible hours, work from home or anything like that. My husband works for the same place and has a similar demanding job so there's not much room for him to help either.

I can afford a horse on DIY livery, but full livery is simply too expensive and also seems a lot of money to spend on something you'd never really have time to do. Especially in the winter when the nights are dark from about 4pm. I'd thought about loaning the horse out, but then if they dropped out i'd be pretty much out of workable options.

How do people even balance this? Open to any suggestions.
Is my only option to sacrifice my career?
 
Amymay Again said:
My horses were always DIY, but my hours and commute were vastly different to yours. In your situation I'd only consider full livery 😞
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Yeah :( I feel like I knew this was going to be the answer. Out of curiosity, what were yours hours/commute?
Part of me is thinking I need to make changes to allow me to do this, rather than trying to make it impossibly difficult fitting it around my life as it is now.
I don't want to get to 50 and wonder why I never tried. But it's so hard because I have to think about more than just me and what impact it will have on my husband and cats (my cats are like my children).
 
How do I balance work and horses? Badly

I've focused on my career so I have a job which pays enough that I can afford for my horse to live the life of luxury on 5 day full livery.

I look after him DIY on the weekends which means I am permanently exhausted and have an alarm clock every day.

While that deals with his basic care, I rarely have time to ride beyond the weekends so I also pay for him to be ridden.

Now I just have to manage my guilt at not seeing him all week sometimes. I've been to the yard twice this week and both times spent more time in his empty paddock poo picking rather than spending time with him (yard are short staffed so stopped poo picking and he has worm immunity challenges)
 
I started work at 7.30am, finished at 4.00pm. And my commute was initially 20 mins, until I moved. It was then 5 mins to the yard, and 20 mins commute to work.

In winter I paid for the horse to be brought in at about 4.00.
 
I have a job that thankfully affords me to have him on 5 day part livery and I DIY on the weekend, I have a 1hr to 1hr10 commute 3x a week and then WFH two days. I also start at 7:30am and leave at 3:30pm when I am in the office to try and beat the traffic.

Honestly, I would move job - I can't figure out how to say this without sounding a bit like an @sshole so I'm sorry if it comes off the wrong way, but it doesn't sound like the job is well paying enough to put up with that commute and lack of flexibility, the work culture has largely changed and I think some degree of flexibility can be expected now (assuming it's in an idustry where its possible, if you're a nurse or something then please just disregard). If this is what your heart is set on, it's definitely worth a look at your options
 
I had a horse on DIY for a while, working 9-5 with an hour commute each way. I honestly can’t remember how I did it. In the end I moved closer to work. I would never consider it now, despite having much more flexible working arrangements… part livery minimum these days.
 
I no longer have any idea how I would have a horse, FT full-on job and two dogs (not to mention an energy-limiting illness).

There was a time though where I was working FT, and my horse came back to me from loan. I had her on full livery (in London), had a sharer, and the yard was a 10/15 minute cycle. I wouldn’t say it was a great situation, tbh, but I did get a few rides a week in and knew she was well looked after. She was my horse of a lifetime and it was the option that made sense at the time, but I wouldn’t do it again with a new horse.
 
I am in a similar position to you. I stopped in my teens and started again this year. I’ve only been having lessons so far but I would love to have my own again.

My job is more flexible than yours and I’m only in the office 2 days per week. I do have 2 young kids and a dog though.

My 5 year old daughter is having lessons and will possibly want her own in a few years if she maintains interest.

I know the sensible thing is to wait until my kids are older but I just really really really want one now 😅

With your current set up I don’t see how you could make diy work. Maybe in the summer if you got up super early and had 24/7 turn out. But in the winter it would be all your time spent at the yard in the dark doing jobs with riding only at weekends.

Is changing jobs or moving closer a possibility? Does your current job have good progression and pay increase potential?
 
I used to work 9-5, a little bit of flex or WFH, with at least an hour commute usually 90 min each way.

I had two on DIY.

My week days basically were get up at 5, leave the house 5:45. Yard by 6.
Muck/skip out, do hay/water and turn out. Leave the yard by 7:30 latest
Drive to work - usually got there around 8:30/45.
Worked half my lunch so could leave at 4:30, which got me to the yard around 5:45.
Brought ponies in. Rode one. Put them to bed and fed.
Left yard around 7/7:30 - home by 8
Dinner, shower, bed.

Now I have a much more demanding job, with travel, but more flex. I live closer to the yard than before, and my OH helps by turning out/bringing in etc on the days I travel - which is anywhere between 1-3x a month.
I avoid overnight stays where I can, and meticulously plan my OH’s WFH days around the days I need to be on a 7am train and arrive back at 7pm. However, the trade off is, I’m rarely home later than 7pm from the yard - unless it’s an active choice to stay late/faff

I think in your scenario, I’d either accept I’d have no life outside of work and horses in the week and suck DIY up, or do part 5 day livery.
 
Im similar I have a good career and I picked a niche that didn't mean shifts, nights or weekends. I got my first horse at 31 after a lifetime of dreaming. I did have D on part livery which broken down was DIY weekends, two days of the week full livery and the three other week days she was turned out and brought in for me but I mucked out, rode, made my weeks hay nets, fed etc. after work. Initially I was 9-5 but now I managed to shift to 8-4 which means a tiny bit more evening light. My commute to work is 20 mins and it's 35-40mins to the yard from work and 17 mins from home. I have done an hour's commute before and hated it. I refuse to do more than 40 mins now.

We have since moved across the road and she's on grass livery and I split the checks with the other livery who I share a field with. I do evening checks after work and she does mornings. It makes very little difference to time changing one extra rug and checking over another pony. The other jobs I'd be doing anyway. My livery pal is fab and only works part time without her it would be a lot more challenging. I've also added a day working from home since my promotion which helps in the winter I can be more flexible and squeeze a quick morning ride in or do jobs in the daylight. It's still stressful if they do something silly like escape and go on a jolly with their aged bf in the middle of the day 🤦
 
I did balance that when I didn't have a child. Up early, finished mucking out and turned out by 7, quick shower and hopefully on train. Then ride in evening back at 10pm, eat late at night and had the odd night off. It only works if your husband is comfortable with that routine so it doesn't cause resentment.

With a child I work part time and even that is a chore.
 
I work similar hours (often significantly more) plus an hour commute each way on a good day. I’m in the office 3/4 days a week. The only way it is possible for me is full livery. I actually have 7 day livery so I get a bit of a break at weekends without substituting work for chores.

I would encourage you to think about different options, usually people either sacrifice their time for money (I.e. lots of hours and long commute but big salary) or they get their time but not the money. It sounds like you have the worst of both. Maybe there’s something about the job or company that makes it worthwhile but make sure you are happy with this in the round. Not always easy I know, but a job is only a job and rarely these days is it a job for life.
 
An hour and a half each way everyday is a long commute!

I used to do 45/50 mins commute and had four horses, all of which were in work. I don’t really know how I did it but I think there’s a massive difference between starting off with that sort of time available and sort of ending up there when you’re used to it - know your horse and the set up and what works etc.

Could you maybe find a share or something?
 
Personally, if your commute is as you describe and you have a full time job with limited flexibility, I would find a share horse you can commit to on a less demanding basis, or as someone has said above find a riding school and get your riding fix that way.

I work full time usually in the office 3/4 days a week and home 1/2 days, in a demanding industry and role, but with seniority to have a good amount of autonomy and flexibility. My horse life works because I no longer ride and compete, have natives who are (touch wood) relatively low maintenance, live out and kept at home so I can pick and choose my routine and have no home to yard commute. I don't have another half (or children) to find time for, but equally that means no support or backup. And my day looks like this:

Alarm 5.25, outside by 5.30am.
5.30 - 6.30 morning yard jobs including checking ponies, breakfasts, quick groom, poo pick, hay etc
6.30 - 7.15 shower and get ready for work
7.15 - 7.45/8 commute
8 - 4 work (what lunch break?!)
4(ish) - 4.30/4.45 commute
5(ish) evening pony checks

I deliberately don't leave poo picking or mucking out on the odd occasion when they're in until the evenings. There is nothing worse than sitting at work all day knowing you've still got jobs to do, and you can see the rain pouring down outside and it's getting darker by the minute. The rest of my evenings in winter are for unwinding from work stress and the gym. On light evenings there is always something that needs repairing, maintaining, cutting back... I'm usually in bed and heading for sleep by 9, 10 at the latest and don't do a whole amount of socialising 'on a school night' because of having to be up early. I recognise I have to pace myself.

I'm now late 30's but if I think back to 15 or so years ago when I had ridden horses and was riding most evenings and competing most weekends, that was a time when I had less work responsibilities, less home life responsibilities, and more disposable income (pre-mortgage). I don't think I could keep one in regular work now, nor would I want the pressure.
 
Echoing the others, I wouldn't do it - I think you'd just wear yourself into the ground - but horse or not, 90 minutes either way every day is a long commute! Don't think I'd be putting up with that unless the job paid mega bucks (i.e. enough for me to afford full livery for two, which really IS mega bucks now)
 
I would definitely think about taking a loan pony first. It is not just the routine. Horses love to get sick or injure themselves. What will you do if you need to go up three times a day to give medicine, or change dressings etc. My pony has uveitis, I work full time and have a child. It was a nightmare when he had a flare up as I had to pay someone to do the drops at midday and I did 7am and 8pm. I had to take time off for the vet and had a pony in the stable for three weeks climbing the walls. He is on full livery luckily but even so, it is me who does the treatments, is there for the vet, took him out at night so he could stretch his legs.. etc.

If you test with a loan and see how you manage the routine, especially in the winter when it is dark, wet and muddy, you will have a better idea of what you can manage.
 
I only ever work until 3.30pm, latest 4pm.
I start at 7.30am and have 30 mins lunch. I'm lucky enough to have a bit of a niche job so for at least the last 12 years I've been working those hours. Because of the industry I'm in, (construction) it is suited to those hours.

I do mostly freelance contracts. I couldn't go back to a 9-5. Being at the horse for 4pm ish is great because it means I'm home by 6.30pm. I can guarantee my next freelance project will be those hours. I'm lucky.

Of course it means 5.30am rise and shine. Luckily I'm a morning person. I'm on assisted livery so staff feed and turn out/bring in depending on the season. It's hard whenever there's box rest to factor in because it means I'm at the yard for 5am but I don't mind for a few days.

I'm a poor sleeper anyway. Saturdays I'm always at the yard for 5.30am anyway regardless. Tonight I can't sleep because I'm excited about seeing Lari again. I'm always like this before an early start. Used to never get sleep the night before competitions!
 
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I work from home 99.9% of the time with one horse on DIY 10 minutes away and even that is stressful enough sometimes. I have incredibly supportive employers but I will often work until 8 or 9pm to make up for time I had to miss due to vet/dentist/farrier/every day visits.

There’s not a cat’s chance in hell I’d want a FT role in the office and a horse again. I did it for about 8 years and I was permanently exhausted. Some evenings I’d finish work and literally cry at the prospect of driving half an hour to the yard in the freezing cold only to muck out because I was too tired for anything else.

A 3 hour daily commute is crazy!
 
I used to work in London and had about an hours commute , yard fed and turned out in the morning and I took my car to the station nearest to the yard , went to work ,had a proper meal at lunchtime, then after work went to horse and got changed at the yard, ride, muck out, sort out breakfast for him then home by about 9.30pm, had a snack then bed.
 
I struggle sometimes but I make it all work, but regularly get in late at night. I have 2 horses, one at home and one on assisted DIY at a livery 10 minutes away. I work from home with occasional trips away, where I ask the livery to do one and my parents to do the other. I work around 8-4pm and pop out on my lunch to do jobs. I still get in around 7-8pm.
 
Honestly, I wouldn’t have a horse in your situation. I’d spend the commuting hours home in a panic about getting to the horse and mornings would be so stressful and full on. I’ve done 8.30-5pm jobs with horses on DIY (3 at one point) but the jobs were local.

I’m self employed now and work my hours around the horses. My job pays well but is physically demanding. I tend to work 10-3.30 (grooming 3-4 dogs), 5-6 days a week. I generally get lunch around 4pm.
 
The only way I could see this working is if you had a horse nearer work than home so that you could do them in more reasonable hours for the yard- but it would mean v early start / late home, and a longer drive on weekends basically back to work which would be hellish. Also wouldn't work if you share commute with OH- unless you train him up to do jobs while you ride!

I've badly juggled more-than-full time hours and having horses for years, but I have been lucky enough to keep mine on a competition yard where they have been treated as one of their own and done for me as part of the yard (I do a lot of work for the yard, both admin and weekend mucking out etc in return which adds to the time commitment but at least meant that if I got stuck in work I didn't need to last minute arrange bringing in etc.). You can fall into a cycle of feeling like you're not doing anything 'well enough'

Honestly think that until / unless you have either flex hours so you can do before or after work, or a role closer to home, you might have to just put on ice for now.
 
I had to commute Birmingham to Nottingham for 2 years once with never ending roadworks. I didn't have a horse when I took the job and I originally planned to relocate but it was post financial crash and I thankfully didn’t do it (company closed)

Fortunately I had a tonne of offers to ride other horses which kept me vaguely sane because there is no way I could have done DIY. Most of my Saturday was still spent being horsey but not needing to be at a yard took the pressure off.

In all honesty I didnt miss the responsibility of having my own. For me the horsey life is about doing their care & not just riding so I wouldn't have wanted full livery.
 
I work the typical 5 days a week 8.30am to 5pm job and I must admit it is a bit of a struggle in the winter months as I have to factor in mucking out, rug changes etc.

A typical winter morning for me would be wake up at 6.45am, be out the house by 7.15am at the latest to be at the yard for 7.30/7.35am.

Rug changes whilst saying hi to the boys/other liveries, kisses for both boys, morning treats and turf them out to their field. Get back to stables around 7.45am (field is roughly a 10 minute walk from their stables) - sigh at the fact that I have one who poos in one massive pile (very helpful!) , and then one who buries it like a weird treasure hunt (he's a nosey sod so likes to walk around and nose about!), aim to muck out (take out poo, take out any wet patches that have come to the surface) and sweep back at least one stable. Take down haynets (my boys get ad lib when in so they get 2 full haynets and then a good large tubtrug full on the ground to pick at) and empty water buckets/various feed buckets for refilling and scrubbing later on.

In the evenings I do their haynets/hay buckets, make up their feeds, get them in (luckily my two are trained to "follow the headlight" (so it's a bit like the elephant march from the jungle book with everyone following nose to tail 🤣) so if I get them in when it's pitch black it isn't the end of the world, pop their fresh water in, check if they're warm under their rugs (if not I'll change them, or if they're soaked I'll pop them in their fleeces to dry), pop some warm water in with their feeds and serve to them (they're usually bellowing the place down at this point aha!). Finish off with giving them their night time treats, double checking they're starting to dry off (if applicable - if not I check they're still warm), double check both stable doors are properly locked, give them a head scratch over the door, say goodnight and head home.

I'm also incredibly lucky as my Mum helps me out (still waiting for car lessons - bloody COVID!) so that helps things to fly by - but I've done the above routine a few times without her and it still works out pretty much the same which is good to know. I'm also lucky to have a few friends who do freelance work and if I'm stuck in a bind, they will sort my boys out for me no problem :)
 
What about getting yourself a nice hardy native that can live out and then looking at full grass livery.

You'd need to look for a yard that offers this so you still have use of facilities - and a school to ride in winter months.

You'd need to spend your money on good rugs, fly masks (and rugs if needed), pig oil to protect legs in winter. I think if your really wanting horse ownership it's worth a look.
 
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