How do you cope?

also, forgot to add, i left school as i found it very very hard to cope with everything and suffered with panic attacts.. No one really understood what i was going through, which made everything 10x worse. So GCSE's down the drain this year.

But as long as you've got heep of support it wont be as hard doing it all on your own. It's so hard when you've had a best friend for so many years ... really sorry for your loss xxx
 
i dont know if you do .10 years ago i lost my mare of a heart attack,luckily her stable was at home and she died in my arms .
i was truly grief stricken as im sure you are .i couldnt bear to see anyone ,go to work ,got people to collect kids from school as i couldnt stop crying .
still upsets me now but over time it got easier. luckily everyone was so kind ,even my neighbours got me a card to say how sorry they were.
its like losing a family member and its normal to grieve.
Time is a healer but you will be devastated.
Hope you have people to look after you and i am so sorry.deb
 
Sadiemay said:
I am truly very sorry to hear of you loss :(

I have nothing constructive to add as I have yet to face this and even the thought of it makes me stomach churn and my heart race. It is my worst fear above anything else.

But all I wll say is be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve, she was a big part of your life..... a part of you. It will take time to heal and the numbness to ease. There are many stages of grief and this is one of them.

I think with time the pain or numbness you feel right now be will be replaced with a sense of sadness that is always there, but also acceptance of what is done and with that you remember her with fond nostalgic memories and assurance you did the right thing. It WILL get easier.

She is free of any pain and discomfort, its the final but without doubt the most difficult act of love we can give our horse, and remember it is ALWAYS better a day too early than a day too late.

She would not want you to be upset or hurting but to be happy and at peace with your decision. She is at peace now and she would want the same for you.

It helps me to believe that one day even when my girl is no longer here I will see her again when I pass on. Not everyones cup of tea but I believe that and it will comfort me when the time comes.

RIP Pony

Take care and have a ((HUG))
Sadiemay


I have posted this before and whilst I dont want to upset you, I hope you will find some comfort in it:

My time's come my dear
As it comes for us all
Hold me close one last time
As I lay in my stall

I feel you shudder,
But there's no need to cry
I'll tell you the secret of why horses die

I’ll go to a pasture that's
far away and above,
But know that we're forever
bound by our love

I'll make hoofprints to heaven
So you'll find your way,
Tread the path smooth to
keep you from wandering astray

I'll carry your guardian angel nearby,
With my wings wipe the tears from
your soul when you cry,

If you're ever alone,
Or your life's hard to lead,
Close your eyes and remember
Me, your eternal steed,

Who awaits, at the gates
to carry you home
So the last journey you make
Is not made alone

On my golden hooves we'll gallop,
And on silver wings fly,
Yes, this is the secret
Of why horses die.
Click to expand...

That just made me cry, what a heartbreaking but lovely lovely poem.

Stay strong, RIP pony.
 
Lovely poem. I hope to see her again, and I hope she is having a nicer time than she did here on earth :(
I just cant accept that she has actually gone. I keep thinking "oh its a nice day, Cloud will be in her field." And of course she is not. I think it will take seeing her empty field to make me realize that I have lost her.
 
Eventually things will get better - just remember the good memories, 16 years ago I had my fantastic little horse pts after a horrific accident out riding, he had broken a small bone in his knee and was neighing and sweating - I still shudder at the pain he must have been in - the vet decided that it could never be healed so the choice was taken away from me which in some ways was helpful. I had him for 13 years and even now after 16 years has passed, I still miss him, I had a couple of horses after that but they never matched up and it was unfortunate that I couldn't help but compare them to him. I now have a gorgeous little horse who I have haed for 7 years and I think the world of him but he will never match up to my Shadow. :(
 
For months, badly. Cried a lot.

Lost my Mum two months later, and my dog a month after that. Couldn't cry by that stage.

You get through it. As others have said, it's time, but there'll be good days and bad days on the way.

Hugs hunny.
 
I'm so sorry for your los, it's horrible, it won't seem like it now because its still so raw but your pain will lessen with time.

I have lost two of mine in the last year, one was only 5 and the other was my much loves retired boy, absolutely devastated but I have so many memories and I know they had the best care during their lives.

Try and take comfort in your wonderful memories x
 
I try to think about all of my pets and animals as blessings (not in a religious way). I am blessed to have had the honour of having them in my life. They enriched my life as I hope I enriched theirs. Take comfort in the fact that you loved them until their last and that you gave them the best you could. One day you will meet again xxxx Time does wonders. My thoughts are with you xxx
 
so very sorry to hear this. You are grieving just as you would if a person had died and unfortunately it is a process that you cannot hurry.
There are 5 stages to the grieving process they are

1. Denial and Isolation. This is where you are now, not fully realising it has happened yet.

2. Anger. You will blame everyone including yourself

3. Bargaining. This for me was the hardest trying to bargain with a god I did not really believe in that if I do this or that can we go back (that's simple terms) It almost feels like if you find the reason why it happened that it will somehow make a difference, while you know it won't it doesn't stop it

4. Depression. This is where most people have to be careful and where most problems arise when people get stuck here too long

5. Acceptance. Finally acceptance is obvious but to start with it is a very very reluctant acceptance

Give yourself what ever time you need to grieve. Some people try to keep themselves too busy and then don't deal with grief, the ideal place is somewhere in between.
Hugs
 
Thanks for the support. You are right, I am in denial. I know its happened, but I cant stop myself thinking she is here.
I cryed hysterically when I had to walk away from her, but now I just feel blank. Everynow and again I end up sobbing gutwrenchingly, but for the most part I still think she is here.
But she is not.
 
I have been through this a lot in the past year and have found the first few days i am like zombie and not really believing what has happened.
I suppose in a way i am lucky as i have the other horses to do or i would of just curled upinto a ball and sobbed.
As everyone else has said in till the pain wont be so raw and you will be able to memeber all the good times without tears flowing.
Huge hugs in what is a devestating time for you
 
misst said:
So sorry for your loss. (((hugs))).

For now just take each day as it comes. The feelings will change from day to day and minute to minute. As said above time really does help. When we lost our second horse it was somehow a little easier as I knew the pain would lessen eventually. The first time I was unconvinced it would ever end.

It sounds as if you are still shocked by your loss. I hope you have some good friends and family around you. Just take your time and go with the flow for a whilexxx RIP pony.
Click to expand...

^^ This. I lost my darling boy very suddenly in December, and all I could do was take each day as it came. My family and friends (particularly my OH, who drove 75 miles to see me when he found out) were fantastic and the only thing that got me through. I still get teary, and still can't quite believe he's gone, but I'm getting by. Another thing is - get out of the house, don't sit and think about it all day. We had tickets for Olympia the day after Dylan was pts, and still went, even though I didn't really feel like it; it genuinely helped, as it stopped me spending 2 days moping around the house.

It's such a difficult thing to get through, and I'm sure you'll find your own way of dealing with it, but the above is what I found helped me.

RIP pony, massive hugs to you xxx
 
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