How do you deal with small children and pts thier pony? :-(

Be honest, they will understand more than you think. When my horse was PTS we went with the whole "hes a star in the sky because.............." route and she understands. She will still talk about it and gets a bit sad about it but she doesnt brood about it.
 
When I moved Sunny to a new yard his missing eye caused quite a stir with several of the young livery children. One was frightened of Sunny because his missing eye made him look scary. Another just didn't understand. I explained that he had got a sore eye and it hurt him so much that he cried and cried all day and all night. The horse doctors couldn't make it better so the only way to help him was to take it away. Worked just fine and the frightened little girl was soon telling everyone else how it happened and wasn't afraid any more. I'd do the same for a pts situation. I think the holiday lie is ghastly. Just say he's very very ill and is crying all the time and the horse doctors can't help him so they will give him some special medicine so he can go to heaven where he'll be well and happy again. Make sure a new pony is waiting in the wings and it will all be over in no time with a few tears (quite right) and a vague misty memory of sadness.
 
I would explain that the pony is very, very poorly & that the nice vet is going to do his very best to help pony get better. If you do pts I would explain that the vet couldn't maker pony better so helped it by stopped it hurting. I did this with my son's hamster when he was very young. He sobbed heartbreakingly for about 10 mins then asked when the pet shop opened so we could go & get a new one!
 
One of my horses was pts 2 years ago my oldest son was 4 at the time , we just told him Lucia had been kicked and broken her leg she would have to go to heaven now , my in laws took my boys away whilst we dealt with the vet , my son cried but mostly because he saw me and my sister upset it was her horse , at that age they are too young they might cry but it doesn't emotionally connect properly , just tell them the truth and they will get over it quickly I'm always honest with my children no point in telling them tales .
 
Ok, so this is really not a totally similar situation but when I was 3 our rabbits got myxamatosis (no idea how to spell it) and had to be put down. We'd taken my sister's rabbit to the vet first and then when the vet confirmed diagnosis we had to go back to get mine. When I asked what was happening my dad said my rabbit was very poorly and the vet was going to make it go to sleep. So I asked when it would wake up and my dad said she wouldn't. Cue 3 year old me being a bit confused. I don't think he knew what to say really. He'd already made my sister cry (5 years old) as she asked when they were going back to pick up her rabbit and my dad just said "never". Probably wasn't the best approach!

I can just remember being so confused as to why the vet was going to make my rabbit sleep. The whole concept didn't make sense to me. I think looking back what would have probably been better is if my dad had said the rabbit had to stay at the vets as it was poorly and then later tell me that she died. Think as a 3 year old I could've accepted that.

So in summary, I would avoid the whole "going to sleep" explanation.
 
When our 2.5 year olds pony was pts last summer we told her that the pony was very poorly and the vet couldn't make her better so she went to be a star.
 
Vet has been out yesterday and is coming to xray tomorrow. We dont think he has lami but seems to be his arthritis in his fetlocks, both are hot from top of fetlock down to hoof. Vet flexed his right one slightly and he reared and grunted in pain :-( He has no rotation at all in the joint as it hurts too much. He is only about 10hh and has been on a bute a day which hasnt made the slightest bit of difference to his pain level. We are going to xray to see whats going on for my peace of mind but vet thinks it would be unfair to leave him in that much pain as a field ornament at his age. Will be taking little one to yard to see him today and will explain that he has hurt himself to introduce the idea. Unfortunately she has a horrible cold herself at the moment so already a bit miserable :-(
 
Poor little chap. It sounds as if the vet visit tomorrow may be better served putting him to sleep if he's exhibiting that much pain.
 
Might not work for a little child, as I have no experience of little children... but I do know when I was about 11/12 I was out for the day, got home, and the dog wasnt there. Mum said that dad had taken the dog round to my grandma's to see her. I then got really mad and said she (dog) is always round there, its not fair, she's our dog. Mum then proceeded to tell me that whilst I had been out, Dad had taken the dog to the vets to be PTS, and was currently in the process of burying her.

Would have been far better if they had told me what was going off so I could have said goodbye to the dog before my trip out. She was well past it, and not my most favourite dog in the world, but I do not think it was a good idea just to take her away and have it done. (It was planned.)

Perhaps you could give small child time with the pony, and say in some tactful way that pony is going to be PTS.
 
Elbie said:
So in summary, I would avoid the whole "going to sleep" explanation.
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Totally agree, the word "sleep" is a silly adult term for somethng we don't like to talk about. Children need clear straight forward information not euphemisms.
 
What an awful situation, its a hard lesson to learn at such a young age but I do think dealt with badly could lead to more emotional upset.
Personally i wouldnt use the term pts as other posters have said its likely to lead to more questions and anxiety.
If the pony is clearly not well and in pain I think as a build up to what is likely to be coming next I would let her see him and explain he is very poorly...even a 3 year old will be able to see the pony is suffering from what you have said. What you say after is a little more tricky and I think you are going to have to gauge the right thing to say at the time...I like the idea of rainbow bridge and him being like a young pony again with sun on his back and lots of friends to play with, so long as you can make it really clear he cannot come back. I dont like the 'gone away' or 'sleeping' scenario as I think it leads to alot of confusion...I am sure she will be upset, that is totally natural and even at 3 I dont think they should be shielded from that, just try not to add confusion into the mix of emotions.
 
Although I only first lost a pony when I was 18, we've had dogs, cats and sheep all my life, and when one has been PTS I've always known what's happened. My dad is a vet, so he has put all our animals that have got old/ill to sleep.

We'd get to say goodbye, and then he'd take them out into the garden to put them to sleep, before burying them buy the greenhouse. Of course I always bawled my eyes out (when one of our dogs was PTS when I was 13-14, I cried out a contact lens!

I'm pretty sure I was always told "put to sleep" and I didn't have any misconceptions. If you're concerned about using the word "sleep", then she's going to be put to sleep and won't wake up. Our tortoise ran away when I was about 6, when I was 19 or 20 my dad let slip that he'd found her shell soon after she'd gone (I'd been happily pretending that she was still wandering round, hibernating every winter). The other week (now aged 24) he let slip that my neighbour had been topping his field and...

I've never been a fan of the "gone to stay on a farm" approach. What happens when it comes to granny? "Oh, she's gone to stay on a farm". Not exactly going to work! I think kids can cope with knowing everything comes to an end. They'll have to find out out at some point what happens when people/animals get ill.

However you tell them it, I think the best thing is to tell a child that their pet is going to pet heaven. No point lying.

My condolences to you, but it sounds like you are making the right decision for your pony. It's always a very difficult time.
 
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