philamena
Well-Known Member
You've had some good advice on here, and you're in a tricky situation, it can't feel nice.
I totally sympathise, my ex would genuinely say 'you're not having a horse, I'd never see you' - which obviously I would never have listened to (all of which perhaps helps explain the general ex-ness of the relationship!)
I don't own at the moment but am gearing up to buy again this summer. My OH says he's perfectly relaxed about me owning again, but I know he's actually not completely aware of how big a time commitment that is and I'm sure it'll cause some tensions. He's completely non-horsey, will come to Badminton to watch the xc etc, but wouldn't see any fun at all in doing jobs to help out and get involved on the yard. He'd clearly think I was skiving and getting him to do my work!
I second the x-box idea... unfortunately mine's not into gaming... but he does now have a large array of musical instruments he needs to master, thanks to a sustained campaign of targetted present-buying over the past couple of years. Drums, keyboard, electric guitar, accoustic guitar... we'll work our way through the entire shop until the only thing I can find to hold him at bay is a blumming kazoo, and then I'll need to think of something else!
To be fair, he's used to being neglected because of my job, but how things will pan out when the two things coincide I'm not so sure...
Something else that I might help - my one condition when we moved in together was that we'd get a cleaner, because life's too short to argue about housework. It's definitely saved a fair bit of ill-feeling about who does most work in the house (because neither of us does, hah!) which I think will continue to be helpful when I'm around even less...
I totally sympathise, my ex would genuinely say 'you're not having a horse, I'd never see you' - which obviously I would never have listened to (all of which perhaps helps explain the general ex-ness of the relationship!)
I don't own at the moment but am gearing up to buy again this summer. My OH says he's perfectly relaxed about me owning again, but I know he's actually not completely aware of how big a time commitment that is and I'm sure it'll cause some tensions. He's completely non-horsey, will come to Badminton to watch the xc etc, but wouldn't see any fun at all in doing jobs to help out and get involved on the yard. He'd clearly think I was skiving and getting him to do my work!
I second the x-box idea... unfortunately mine's not into gaming... but he does now have a large array of musical instruments he needs to master, thanks to a sustained campaign of targetted present-buying over the past couple of years. Drums, keyboard, electric guitar, accoustic guitar... we'll work our way through the entire shop until the only thing I can find to hold him at bay is a blumming kazoo, and then I'll need to think of something else!
To be fair, he's used to being neglected because of my job, but how things will pan out when the two things coincide I'm not so sure...
Something else that I might help - my one condition when we moved in together was that we'd get a cleaner, because life's too short to argue about housework. It's definitely saved a fair bit of ill-feeling about who does most work in the house (because neither of us does, hah!) which I think will continue to be helpful when I'm around even less...
