How do you ever get back on?

[Vintage]

This is kind of dumb, but. My horse and I have both been out of work a while. I don't have anyone nearby who can just "pop over" and give me a confidence boost. I was sick, then got better, then my horse was sick, eventually got better - now I stand looking at how wonderful he is and remember all the things we did together. Yet the thought of getting back on fills me with dread. What if he no longer likes me being on board, what if I can't ride after all this time and fall off. What if I'm never good again?

I'm trying to find a saddle for him and just get going again. But I worry it won't be the same because we're both fat lumps (me moreso than him) - how do you ever just get back on again?

 

[Charlie007]

Vintage, where abouts are you?

 

[laura_nash]

I've got back on mine twice now, once after he's had two years in a field when I bought him and then after 9 months off when I was pregnant. I'm now looking at a third time after he's had a year off due to my personal circumstances. I've found with mine (sensible cob) the best thing to do is just get on with it. I've always just popped his tack on and gone for a hack and this is my plan next time.

Choose a nice sunny day, not windy, and a sensible hacking route with no terrors or exciting gallops and get off and walk for a bit if either of you feel its a bit much. For me it was better to start off on our own as my boy is a bit short-striding and finds it hard enough to keep up with another horse when he is fit. Believe me neither of you can be as fat and unfit as we were when I first got him, we had to stop for a rest getting from the field to the stable!

 

[hibshobby]

Well, I've been there ! Due to illness I had 6 months off riding and went through all your emotions. Luckily I had "a little voice of reason" to set me (and horse) back on the straight and narrow. Time for tough love, but it's meant well, believe me.
What if he no longer likes me being on board ? Tough, he'll get over it. It's the deal. It comes with being a horse.

What if I can't ride after all this time and fall off ? You can, and won't. You may be rusty, I had a few lessons at a local riding school first, but got back on, and horse and I got over it.
What if I'm never good again ? You will be. I'm guessing you weren't born good, you got good, and you can again. See comment above ! You may be rusty, but you can get there.
You're both fat ? I gained nearly 3 stones when I couldn't ride and lost it within weeks of getting back on. Horse didn't really care, but he's now ideal weight and so am I (give or take the odd iced bun !).
Have faith, you'll be fine and so will your horse.

 

[FfionWinnie]

I didn't ride for 10 years. Totally lost interest in it. Got back on to get the horse out on loan (it came back and stood in the field for a year before I got it out again). Then I bought a pony to bring on for my daughter, unseen. That was a little scary getting on her but she sparked my love of horses again and now we've got loads.

 

[Cortez]

Well, you just do. If you're worried about it why not lunge for a while to see how the horse responds? I've let my lot off for the winter and plan to get going again in a couple of weeks, we'll start off with free schooling, then lunging for about 10 days, then I'll just hop on and go for a short pootle.

 

[Crazydancer]

I'm currently doing this with a nicely bred dressage mare (not mine) who's been out of work for ages, and here's me, a nervous but happy hacker with my 14.2 aged gelding, done nothing more than plod around for the last few years. The mare had a bit of a reputation, and as she'd been out of work a long time (and had a foal) I have been taking it slowly. We had the usual checks done, and started a bit of in-hand work while I was waiting for the final bit, the saddler. I've found that all of this groundwork and general handling has given me a huge amount of confidence in her, to the extent that when I did get on (took a friend the first time) I wasn't in the slightest bit nervous, in fact I was eager to crack on. We are still taking it slowly as her back has lost all muscle and will take time and I don't want to push too hard - I have all the time in the world as long as we are moving forwards and we're both happy. I'm actually really enjoying it! Good luck, hope you can both enjoy getting out again!

 

[Notimetoride]

I've been there. It's so scary. Don't plan it, just let it happen. One day when it's warm and sunny and you're grooming your pony who's being all lovely and is really chilled out, you'll just get the urge to get on. Lunge first to gauge his state of mind and if he's being dozy then perfect, that's your moment to hop on. He'll be fine I promise, and will be so happy to be doing something again. Just don't pressure yourself and only do it when the moment is right. Enjoy !!

 

[alainax]

Im not riding atm due to pregnancy, but my boy is still in light work ( so he remembers what a saddle is ).

I had a horse previously who would tank off violently and dump you painfully when you got on, so this little fear is always at the back of my mind. The boy I have at the moment is a sweet heart and I trust completely, so this helps get rid of that thought!

My plan is to lose the baby weight, then go to the indoor. Have someone holding him, and just pop on from the tall mounting block. Walk for a wee while, test all the brakes and steering... and see how we go. I am sure pretty soon we will be back to our old selves

Just find a way that makes you feel really comfortable, as the horse will feel this. Then just plan to walk for 5 mins, nothing difficult. Once you are on you will feel you want to do more and more, till you are both back to your old selves.

 

[rowan666]

ive been there too! just takes things really slowly, its ok to have a confidence crisis, most of us long term riders/owners have at some point. I pushed myself before i was ready to keep up with friends and ended up making things so much worse, my anglo was a star and did his best looking after me but in the end the best thing i did was loan him out (to a girl who is actually using him to get her confidence back) and got myself a stocky little pony, best thing i ever did for my confidence, not suggesting you trade your horse in but maybe you could have a few lessons at a local riding school on a fail safe ploddy type to get you started? having other horsey people around dsnt neccasarily help your confidence if they are confident because you will just beat yourself up trying to keep up with them (i did anyway)

 

[Sugarplum Furry]

I feel your angst.

I tend to go through every excuse under the sun when I've lost my riding mojo and my nerves are playing up.

It's windy.
It's raining.
It's too cold.
Too hot.
It's Tuesday.
I'm too fat.
Horse is too fat.
It's Friday.
I need to go home and clean the cooker.
I'm wearing the wrong socks.
Horse is too thin.
I forgot to clean my teeth.
Blah blah blah until I've used up every single excuse and bored myself silly and THEN, and this happened yesterday, I woke up and thought today's the day. And I did it. I saddled up and got on my extremely feisty and opinionated arab and went out for a hack ON MY OWN!!! It was amazing, all my nerves fell away, even though his Arabship was dancing about all over the place like a 4 year old. The sun shone, the birds twittered, Arabship shied at everything real and imaginary and I didn't feel nervous or scared, just joyful. He's 23. I'm nearly 60. I haven't ridden him since last autumn.

Dear Vintage you aren't being dumb at all, from what you say you've been through and the time off it's not surprising you feel anxious. Just remember the the lovely times you've had together in the past, concentrate on the positives. I'll say that again, concentrate on the positives!! Get on him, even if it's just for a 2 minute pootle round your yard. You'll be FINE. Onwards and upwards!!

 

[Barnacle]

Maybe you can go for a couple of lessons to get yourself back into it before you try to convince your horse? And lunge with tack on in the meantime to get an idea of how he feels about it.

 

[blitznbobs]

Lunge him for a few days in tack then just get on and get off again without moving... Get back on again and sit there for a few minutes then get off again. When u feel ready ( maybe that day maybe another) walk a small circle before you get off...then a 20 m circle keep going at your pace til your ready to ride badminton...

 

[bumper]

I feel your angst.

I tend to go through every excuse under the sun when I've lost my riding mojo and my nerves are playing up.

It's windy.
It's raining.
It's too cold.
Too hot.
It's Tuesday.
I'm too fat.
Horse is too fat.
It's Friday.
I need to go home and clean the cooker.
I'm wearing the wrong socks.
Horse is too thin.
I forgot to clean my teeth.
Blah blah blah until I've used up every single excuse and bored myself silly and THEN, and this happened yesterday, I woke up and thought today's the day. And I did it. I saddled up and got on my extremely feisty and opinionated arab and went out for a hack ON MY OWN!!! It was amazing, all my nerves fell away, even though his Arabship was dancing about all over the place like a 4 year old. The sun shone, the birds twittered, Arabship shied at everything real and imaginary and I didn't feel nervous or scared, just joyful. He's 23. I'm nearly 60. I haven't ridden him since last autumn.

Dear Vintage you aren't being dumb at all, from what you say you've been through and the time off it's not surprising you feel anxious. Just remember the the lovely times you've had together in the past, concentrate on the positives. I'll say that again, concentrate on the positives!! Get on him, even if it's just for a 2 minute pootle round your yard. You'll be FINE. Onwards and upwards!!

That is a brilliant reply. I've done ALL of that

 

[alainax]

I feel your angst.

I tend to go through every excuse under the sun when I've lost my riding mojo and my nerves are playing up.

It's windy.
It's raining.
It's too cold.
Too hot.
It's Tuesday.
I'm too fat.
Horse is too fat.
It's Friday.
I need to go home and clean the cooker.
I'm wearing the wrong socks.
Horse is too thin.
I forgot to clean my teeth.
Blah blah blah until I've used up every single excuse and bored myself silly and THEN, and this happened yesterday, I woke up and thought today's the day. And I did it. I saddled up and got on my extremely feisty and opinionated arab and went out for a hack ON MY OWN!!! It was amazing, all my nerves fell away, even though his Arabship was dancing about all over the place like a 4 year old. The sun shone, the birds twittered, Arabship shied at everything real and imaginary and I didn't feel nervous or scared, just joyful. He's 23. I'm nearly 60. I haven't ridden him since last autumn.

Dear Vintage you aren't being dumb at all, from what you say you've been through and the time off it's not surprising you feel anxious. Just remember the the lovely times you've had together in the past, concentrate on the positives. I'll say that again, concentrate on the positives!! Get on him, even if it's just for a 2 minute pootle round your yard. You'll be FINE. Onwards and upwards!!

Love this post! You had me at " It's Tuesday"

 

[debsflo]

Go for a walk in hand,then with tack on a few times,then a sit on with someone near by,next time a bit further and home and do it in small steps. I have done it a few times after long breaks for pregnancy and injury and always been surprised at how good they are. A lot of anxiety is our own over thinking and what ifs..

 

[Dexydoodle]

I had 7 months off riding last year. Had a ridiculous accident and needed surgery 2 months later. Was told 6 months post op until i could ride again. I was terrified even though the accident hadnt been my mares fault and she was good as gold (rode half an hour home with the use of only one leg and she didn't put a hoof out of place).

I kept trying to talk myself out of getting back on until I'd seen the consultant. I didn't want to get back on but was building it up to a massive thing in my head. Ended up one day just tacking up and getting on. We only walked around the arena (with one short side of trot) for about 15 minutes. Did the same a few days later. No canter (she was being ridden regularly so her fitness was fine).

Think its a case of baby steps. Even getting on and walking one lap is better than none. I lost my girl 9 weeks ago and im gutted that i didn't ride 'properly' after my accident (all other regrets aside). But im so glad i did at least get back on.

Small steps x

 

[Shooting Star]

For me when I've had a break (loose term for I really don't want to get back on!)... I tell myself I'm not fit, I tell others that the horse is not fit and therefore 10 mins in the school is a responsible starting point and then hop on for my 10 mins of 'fittening work' (in walk naturally )!

 

[Caol Ila]

Do it in stages. I don't have confidence issues with the horse, so I am not quite in your boat, but I'm in the neighboring boat, HMS Couldn't-be-Arsed. But my horse is 22 so if she loses fitness, it will be a pain to get it back. To keep riding, this is what I do:

1. Go to the barn. You don't have to do anything. Just go there and look at horse.
2. You're there, so it's not a big deal to catch horse and brush her. Horse will appreciate it.
3. Horse is brushed, it's not that hard to put a saddle and bridle on, is it? So on the tack goes.
4. You get on. Then you can pootle around the school for ten minutes, or an hour, or go on a hack. Once I'm on, I feel better and often do a proper schooling session. That's fine. But I can go on a ten minute hack if I like. BFD.

When I have worked with people who have confidence issues, I have broken the whole riding thing into that step-by-step process to get them to focus on the immediate, attainable goal. Lets just brush her, lets just sit on her, you don't have to do anything more than that, etc. etc. You find once you're on the horse and nothing terrible has happened, everything is easier.

 

[eahotson]

When I totally lost my confidence I would tell myself that I was just going to get on then straight off again.I never actually did that but having the option gave me the courage to get on.

 

[misskk88]

Totally understand your feelings. I have been there, and there was absolutely no reason for it!

Horse had some time off work due to lameness. When it was time to jump back on, I was absolutely filled with dread about 'what if she is fresh', 'what if she doesn't like being ridden anymore', 'what if I am doing more damage by riding her again'. Couple that with usual excuses of rain, sun, general weather, feeling tired, being ill, doing it tomorrow as today wasn't right etc etc, it left very little opportunity to actually get on and ride!

Some of the advice on here has been brilliant- doing it in stages really does work. Once I really KNEW I had to get back on board, I started to bring her in more regularly. She had lots of grooms, and we worked on ground manners (her time off and living out seemed to make her forget how to stand still!). Then after the first week of the routine of bringing her in, I stuck tack on and walked her in hand. Then I either lunged or loose schooled her for a few days- just to double check she was moving ok, and that any extra fizziness was worked off before jumping back on board. The next day, I gave her a couple of minutes of loose schooling and just jumped back on board. I had no issues what so ever, so my worry was completely unfounded! In this time I also had a few lessons on a friends school master which really helped too.

Since then I have had no nerves about jumping back on. She has gone a few weeks without being ridden and I have then decided to chuck on tack and go for a short hack. Her attitude never changes, I think if you have a sensible horse, whether you work them everyday or once in a while, they will usually always be the same to get on and ride.

In short, do all the grooming, ground work, in hand work without the stress of feeling you HAVE to ride. Just enjoy being with your horse and quality time. You will soon find your curiosity gets the better of you!

 

[Vintage]

I will reply to all these wonderful replies properly later but wanted to say thank you to every single post. It all makes a lot of sense quickly reading through, and definitely right with the tuesday excuse!!

I've lunged my boy a fair bit now for his fitness and it's made so much harder because he seems to really love being in "work" and is so much better behaved in general if he's worked recently. I think a big thing(excuse) is that the arena doesn't have fencing - so of COURSE he's going to go galloping away (in my head)

Reply properly later - thank you all very much for the wise words!!

 

[Red-1]

I would agree with a lot of the suggestions, especially the ones where you can just hop on the dismount again, and when you have done that and feel OK then maybe walk a circle, hop off again and see how you feel.

I have helped a few people back into the saddle after nasty injuries, and we start with making sure they are in control on the ground, and lunge/long reining too. Long reining is great, like riding but not. Plus an empty saddle is very tempting!

Good luck! Lovely weather for it too

 

[MagicMelon]

If I don't ride for a while, my mind starts panicking and making up bad situations which could happen etc. When I had my son I worried about getting back on again after, then I had a few months off when my horse injured himself and I didn't "want" to get back on. But I just forced myself and after the first few times everything seemed to return and go back to normal again!

 

[Spilletta]

I go through times when I doubt my ability to ride. Have you got nice hacking, or even just some fields to ride around? I sometimes pretend I'm my 12-year-self (or so) and ride like I did then. If there's a bit of a slope to go down, or a blackberry bush to check out, or anything you fancy, really, just do it. No worries about technical ability; your horse is your partner, and you're exploring together. Take the long way round!

Or pretend you're out because you've got a job to do, even if it's going out to check the livestock in the nearby fields all look ok; or counting rabbits (absolutely no reason for that one!) It takes your mind off the fact you're actually riding.

Good luck

 

[FairyLights]

I've been there. It's so scary. Don't plan it, just let it happen. One day when it's warm and sunny and you're grooming your pony who's being all lovely and is really chilled out, you'll just get the urge to get on. Lunge first to gauge his state of mind and if he's being dozy then perfect, that's your moment to hop on. He'll be fine I promise, and will be so happy to be doing something again. Just don't pressure yourself and only do it when the moment is right. Enjoy !!

^this
Also just get on then get off again. you dont have to go for a ride. keep getting on and off. then go for a short walk, 5 strides will do. get off untack. just build up from there. there is no rush take as long as you want even if its a year.

 

[lazyfoxx]

really feel for you op i have been there after scarey expereince with a youngster i was offered a horse to share who i knew was a saint but the thought of getting on him reduced me to tears ! I felt that my own retired horse was the only one i could ever trust . i had relentless battles with myself but finally decided i wasnt going to let one short scarey experience take away all the wonderful fun times i had from riding so i got on to the stand and before i could argue with myself about getting on , i swung my leg over his bottom and off we went. i felt so proud of myself it was a perfect hack and doing that one thing inspired me to resume my horse search which led to me riding and trying a selection of horses finally finding the perfect one for me , you can do it if you really want to, just take one small step at a time, think positive !

 

[flirtygerty]

Longrein tacked up, walk for a few miles, then when your legs ache, horse is settled, jump on and ride home, you can easily overthink things, I find aching legs and back clears my mind, getting on is never as bad as you imagine, good luck
PS stick lunge reins over your shoulders.

 

[godfreyy]

I stopped riding for about 3 years, and at one point I even stopped going down as someone else took over looking after the horses for me due to personal circumstances. I started going back down one or two times a week as I'd been telling the OH that I missed them (but didn't have the confidence to ride again as thought I'd lost it all). Eventually after bonding with my gelding again I found myself toying with the idea of getting back on and when I did so I started off going for walks as we were both out of shape. Got myself some lessons at a riding school to, and found myself a regular instructor who now teaches me on my own horses on a weekly basis - and my confidence has now soared again. I recently bought myself a youngster as my mare is semi retired, and he had a month off in December as a bit of a holiday and when I went to get back on him I really thought long and hard about all the "what-ifs"! But thanks to the continued ground work I'd been doing all the time (since getting back into riding) I found I trusted the horses, and my own judgement, a lot easier than if I hadn't been doing it. For me, groundwork was really the place to start to get my confidence up though my instructor did help a lot!