How do you fit in family and horses?!

[atlantis]

Family and horses is great... Adding work in and chuck in Xmas and it gets tough at times.

However the tougher it gets the more horses are needed. I've had my own again for 2 months now I've had a tough day at work today, and a tough few weeks tbh. I work in a palliative care role and it's all getting on top of me atm. Small child (3) excited about Xmas and not sleeping, up at 5.30 to get pony ridden and mucked out and stupidly busy day working with the poorliest of people and I'm on my own at work part time with a ridiculous workload!!! It's doable but maybe not working for the nhs!!!

The reason I've bought my pony is for my own sanity. Even my oh admits that I'm happier with her, but im so tired atm I actually cried at work this morning. Sometimes it is just another thing to do badly I suppose!!!

 

[windand rain]

I have a great admiration for those who manage it all on your own. My OH is not particularly horsey but he can manage the basics and I love him for being adaptable it only really works if you are a partnership and if both of you realise how important it is to have time to fulfill the need that is as important to you is a horse. I cannot live without so although I worked full time had three kids in nappies and did a degree I still had ponies on DIY It was a question of shifts I worked when OH was at home he went to work when I came in, I did the horses on the way to and from work He did dinner, bed time and most of the housework
Now to how
Put the babies safety in spot one
Put horses welfare next
Oh comes in next
You time next if that includes the horse so be it
finally tag team the housework if needed.

Most importantly dont try to be a domestic diva a cordon bleu chef and the worlds best mum it is not doable as long as everyone is fit healthy and well fed the rest is a bit irrelevant. The hard spot is when someone is not any of those and they need extra time then is when the tag team needs to be adaptable and the unneeded one has to take over the role of the others

 

[misskk88]

The reason I've bought my pony is for my own sanity. Even my oh admits that I'm happier with her, but im so tired atm I actually cried at work this morning. Sometimes it is just another thing to do badly I suppose!!!

My OH also knows I am happier with horses in my life, no matter how that may be. Even if I am mucking out, turning out, doing general care and not even riding- I am content and at peace with myself! They are very much my therapy and sanity (and insanity when it comes to my bank account!).

I admire those that juggle kids, work, house, horses on DIY and do it either without an OH or one that doesn't tend to get involved. You must all be working on 26 hour days and 8 day weeks to fit it all in!!

This time of year must be lovely with young children around, however exhausting I can imagine it to be

 

[GemG]

Horses are not cheap, but some women have expensive shopping, shoes, holidays, jewellery, shoes, etc habits, or like to socialise, clubbing, theatre, eating out etc ..

I do none of these things!

But I have an awesome husband who understands, helps out whenever, never moans about it, horses, mud, time, money etc .. Someone who truly loves you should see how the horses are more than a hobby, they are a way of life.

We work full tim although I'm mat leave with 7 wk baby and we have nearing 4 year old too.

* scale down your operation
* understand you may need to put competing on hold
* reconsider if you have a young horse that needs or deserves a lot of work - you will only feel guilty for not doing what you think you should...
* you can do horses on a budget
* don't think you have to stable them 24/7
* don't expect to ride every day at all!

All this depends how much help you have and how much you want to do!

I have learnt to relax about not having a clean horse, spotless tack and lovely riding clothing. We are expecting a foal in spring. Be realistic and prioritise. It is hard work, but all the best things in life usually are.

It is much easier in summer!

 

[noodle_]

I dont have kids,, but I think when i do - pony days will probably be over. Horse wont ever be sold but probably out on loan/share or field livery for a few years

I work full time/have a bf, dogs, house etc and quite honestly god knows how people fit in kids with horses too.....superhuman

I dont work a normal 9/5 job so do have more winter daylight hours than a lot of people which helps right now

 

[basilcob]

I'm 34 married with a 10 year old daughter and 2 year old son. My husband actually lives abroad because of work at the moment. I have two cats, two chihuahuas and two equines! I work 2 days a week and have fantastically understanding and helpful parents. My mother doubles as a groom and nanny! She will go down and muck out for me if my husband is home and we're busy. The horses are on DIY and I'm lucky that I rent a small private yard so when I go to ride/muck out my little boy will ride his bike safely. Now it's cold I usually drop him with my parents for an hour. I worked full time when my daughter was young and then had my horse on full livery. I then usually went to ride after she was in bed about 7.30. Something important, I feel, is to have the right kind of horse. Something laid back who doesn't require riding everyday, especially as children get older and need taking to clubs etc some days there isn't the time to ride and fit everything else in. My husband is not horsey but financially supportive of them! I do have to curb the amount I talk about horses in his company though! And if I buy another rug I think he probably will divorce me!!

 

[LCH611]

Stick with it as it gets to the point where you have an army of helpers - I had to do all 5 (& the pigs, poultry & alpacas) on my own this morning and it seemed to take forever as I plodded round mucking out, putting hay out in the field & filling up the water for the chickens & pigs. Normally in the mornings we are a very slick team with everyone having their own jobs as we have to be efficient with the very small amount of daylight time before they all need to catch a bus to school. Riding en famille is a great joy, although I sense that OH is finding it a bit of a chore to keep his horse fit now that he has one of his own - however he is focussed on the fact that it is in to sell, so hopefully there will be some £££s as a reward at the end of the process!

 

[Carrots&Mints]

Get rid of the family lol hard work are families and stick with the horse who doesnt back chat or have pointless opinions etc haha

 

[BentleyBelly]

I have a husband, 16 month old daughter and an aged pony. Pony lives out with my sisters and we take it in turns to feed/check on them (couldn't do it without her tbh). Riding is limited to Sunday mornings at the moment when my husband is off work and can babysit. In the summer I rode a few times a week in the evenings when the baby was in bed and husband was home. I keep things as simple as possible, no time for mucking out just good rugs, plenty of hay and a decent head torch! Money and time is very tight since I went back to work part time and if pony was younger and better behaved he probably would have been sold by now. If we can get through this winter ok then the summer will be a doddle!

 

[Dave's Mam]

I'm very lucky. My OH put me in touch with my pony's owner, as he knew how much I missed having one. He knew there would be money spent & only ever jokingly moans about it. We both work full time, but don't have any kids, so that helps.
The horses are out 24 / 7 & between 4 of us (owner & other loaners), we make sure all are tended to. It's hard in winter as it's dark before & after work, roll on spring!

 

[showaddy1]

4 kids, work full time, two horses...
How do I fit it all in??.. I havent a clue!!. Horses are now on 24/7 turnout but I still feed twice a day. The 2 girls ride, so they help (I say help, hinder!). I have learnt to adjust. My hair isnt perfect, my house isnt a show home, and I am usually the mum rushing to the school gates in the morn... but saying that, we are all happy.
I suppose as this point I should also say that my husband, non horsey, is a super star... yes he moans about money/ mud/ time... but he also realises how happy they make us.

 

[atlantis]

My OH also knows I am happier with horses in my life, no matter how that may be. Even if I am mucking out, turning out, doing general care and not even riding- I am content and at peace with myself! They are very much my therapy and sanity (and insanity when it comes to my bank account!).

I admire those that juggle kids, work, house, horses on DIY and do it either without an OH or one that doesn't tend to get involved. You must all be working on 26 hour days and 8 day weeks to fit it all in!!


This time of year must be lovely with young children around, however exhausting I can imagine it to be

It does feel like 26/8 at times lol. And yes it's wonderful with a 3 year old. Tbh I wish it didn't start quite so early with nursery winding the kids up weeks in advance of the big day. I'm looking forward to Xmas and I've got 12 days off in a row and only mornings next week!!! A job in respiratory care in the winter doesn't help with the business!!! All my patients get ill in the winter!!! Pony makes it all better though!!!

 

[Mylife]

No kids but I'm getting a new pony tomorrow and although we are still in the early stages of the relationship my non horsey OH is extremely supportive and although he won't admit it a little excited that I am getting a horse (he says WE are getting a horse lol!!) hmm see what the situation is in 6 months hahaha!!

 

[misskk88]

No kids but I'm getting a new pony tomorrow and although we are still in the early stages of the relationship my non horsey OH is extremely supportive and although he won't admit it a little excited that I am getting a horse (he says WE are getting a horse lol!!) hmm see what the situation is in 6 months hahaha!!

I wonder if he will be quite so excited after 6 months of you coming home smelling of horses, with hay in your hair, down your bra and in your boots, and your weekends being taken up with 'horse time', and your winter conversations being taken up with talk of rugs, clipping, 'should I/shouldnt I' ride when the weather turns bad... Ohhhh he has soooo much to learn!

Good luck with the new pony, and hope you both have fun with him. Pictures are a must once pony has arrived!

 

[windand rain]

What a lovely thread about supportive and helpful OH s it is more normal to have the horror stories and how awful men are so what a positive and balanced view

 

[misskk88]

What a lovely thread about supportive and helpful OH s it is more normal to have the horror stories and how awful men are so what a positive and balanced view

It is nice reading through other peoples experiences of having OH, family and horses and how they work.

My OH doesn't usually bother coming near the yard and he doesn't 'get' horses, but he does know that I need them in my life and that I adore them. As much as I would love him to be a horsey person, who got stuck in, it is still very much 'my time' and 'my hobby'. And I love him the way he is

I am slowly breaking him down though... just so he takes a littllleee bit of interest... I have asked him to come out for a walk on Christmas eve whilst I hack out as my usual buddy is away. I said it would be good practice for when we have a kid and need to combine time to make room for other things. I think it's a fair compromise!