How do you get over it??

[SatansLittleHelper]

Its almost a year since I lost my beloved Clydesdale boy at only 8 and a half years old. He broke my heart and I STILL miss him and hurt when I think of him.
I can never replace him ever as he was one in a million but I still yearn for those big clompy feet and all those fluffy leg feathers...and a big manly hug from a big horse. Everytime I see a Clydie or see one for sale my heart skips a beat.
I have my young sport horse boy who is the absolute love of my life who will, hopefully, be my forever horse and I can honestly say I have never had a bond like this. I would only sell this horse when Satan starts ice skating to work!!!
But I still hanker after the heavies.
Will I ever get past this?? Of course the option is always there to have another Clydesdale (Goliath was my "toy" horse that I hacked out and played with lol) when things are more settled but I just don't know
It sounds silly but losing him at such a young age I still feel cheated of his,our, future together.

 

[PapaFrita]

I lost PF just over a month ago in a freak accident in the field. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since then. Some days I'm OK, other days I'm a snotty, sobbing mess. Gradually though, I think you start to remember the good times more often and whilst you never forget them, you find room in your heart for another one. I consider myself very very fortunate to have LC, who is so much like her without her 'issues'/neuroses from being in racing.

 

[Sheep]

Sorry to hear about your losses, both of you.

SLH, I have never been in such a sad position but I can only suppose that while with time the pain will lessen, it will never truly leave you. It is a mark of the love you have for the boy you lost.

PF, I am so very sorry to hear that you lost your girl. I remember her from on here and through a couple of FB groups. I am sure you are devastated.

 

[dogatemysalad]

It's utterly devastating isn't it ?
The place they take in your heart always belongs to them but it seems that a heart can grow to fit another horse to love differently and uniquely but just as consuming, in time.
Having had such a bond with a special horse is a gift and the grief of separation can never diminish it. If I could turn the clock back, I'd risk the sorrow all over again for the price of knowing them.

 

[wiglet]

It's coming up to 5 years since I lost my girl. It was like someone had ripped my heart and soul out but, it does get easier and you will feel better in time. Now I mostly just remember all the good and happy times we had.

 

[joelb]

Sorry SLH and PF for your losses.

Mine were 8 and 5 years ago and I still miss them both, particularly the 1st one who was with me so long. Their beds are still down in their boxes, I’ve never been able to take the shavings out and see them completely bare. Even after this time I can’t face that final clinical tidy up. The sadness has gone now, I focus on the good parts and the fun we had together. It does get easier.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

PF and SLH, I am so sorry. I had to have my 11yo PTS last March-I still can't think about him for too long without crying. I absolutely cannot listed to a certain song that was out at the time-I have to leave the room. I have two ponies and another of the same breed as the one I lost coming in the spring but think about him every day. Also daunted at the thought of starting with another as he and I had reached an understanding lol. I was lucky to have had him.

 

[babymare]

Oh hun i know just how you feel. I lost baby 2nd august and not s day go by where i dont miss. silly things like seeing swedes in shop sets me off. I guess it hurts so much because we loved them so much and because they were such a huge part of our lives. Big big hugs to say you are not alone x x

 

[Tia0513]

If I could turn the clock back, I'd risk the sorrow all over again for the price of knowing them.

This made my throat catch.
I lost my boy in May to grass sickness, gone withing 24 hours, and my heart aches so much when I think of him. Both his half brothers from his dam are now for sale and a part of me thinks if only I had waited before buying my next one. Saying that though, Tia has carved a place in my heart already and I don't regret buying her. It's hard but I know my life was changed for the better through the time I had Roo.

 

[Cheshire Chestnut]

I feel for you OP. I lost my mare 5 years ago and I miss her so much. Only this year in June did I feel ready to get another but I chose something different so I could never compare them. She was a 15:3hh Hanoverian x TB chestnut mare with the most gentle and loving nature and my new one is a cheeky 14:1hh Welsh D gelding. I decided to get something different so I didn't give myself the opportunity to compare them and find myself seeing my new one as a 'replacement'. He is his own horse and I love him for who he is.

The pain will get easier but it is hard - I sometimes dream about her and then get upset all over again Much love to you xx

 

[merrymeasure]

I don't think you get over it, but you get used to it.I lost my old racehorse Bob in May 2011,and Murphy, my cob, in January this year. I still miss them both, and sometimes my heart just aches for them. They were two special boys, and I will always love them. But I have room in my hesrt and enough love for my 18 month old filly Darcey. Had her 9 months now, and she means as much to me now, as my two beautiful boys. The hurt of losing them is still there and always will be, I think, though.

 

[bensababy]

I lost PF just over a month ago in a freak accident in the field. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since then. Some days I'm OK, other days I'm a snotty, sobbing mess. Gradually though, I think you start to remember the good times more often and whilst you never forget them, you find room in your heart for another one. I consider myself very very fortunate to have LC, who is so much like her without her 'issues'/neuroses from being in racing.

Oh crikey, I am so sorry to hear that! I loved reading your posts about PF.

OP I lost mine a year and a half ago, the days do get easier but things still trigger off sad emotions and I shed a tear over him. All I can say is it does get easier and eventually sad tears turn into happy tears for all the good times you had with them.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I think you do feel cheated when you lose them young.
I had to pts a 6 yr old show-bred Shire from a mystery illness that ended in founder and 2x11 yr olds, the Clydie we think had a tumour which caused a rectal prolapse and IDx got septicaemia following cellulitis. They were all lovely horses, easy to do and brilliant temperaments. I hadn't ridden the ID for several months as she, then I, had been off work with back problems. I still feel that I want to get back on her.
All you can do is treasure the memories of them and move on. I now have a fabulous Westphalian Draft horse who is making her own memories for me.

OP, I remember your posts about that dreadful time. I have to admit that I often hanker after another Clydie (I've had 2) but I'm concerned that several seem to die too young and I wonder if it is because their gene pool is very small nowadays, so am avoiding them.

PF, I'm so sorry to hear your news.

 

[Annagain]

I lost my boy 8 1/2 years ago and I still well up thiking about him (I am now). We'd been together since we were both 13 and he was 27 when he died so about half our lives and he was with me at such important stages in my life so he really was the love of my life. I did my first SJ cours on him, my first XC etc but he was also there for some many other firsts. My first solo drive was to ride him, I sobbed into his neck when my first boyfriend dumped me, I said goodbye to him when I went to Uni (a friend looked after him at her place) arranged my working day around him when I got my first job (flexi-time was a godsend!) and experienced my first real loss when he died.

Originally all I wanted to do was replace him and was looking at nothing but black section Ds. I went to see one (a 15.2) who was way too quiet and when I told the dealer this, he said I've got just the thing. He disappeared and came back with a 16.3 grey IDx. He was just the thing and in more ways than one was just what I needed. Comparison is inevitable but I'd like to think I don't do it as much because he is so different in looks and size. Had I got another just the same I'd have forever been expecting him to be Eb, which would never have been fair.

I'm so sorry your losses. I often wonder why we do it. We spend years in mud and rain,fall off, get carted away with only for them to break our hearts at the end of it. Then we go an do it all over again.

 

[hnmisty]

I can still easily cry over Harry, who died in July 2006, and very easily over Misty, who died August 2011 and was my best friend. I trusted her to the end of the world and back. I still have photos of them up in my room and say good night to them every night and tell them that I love them.

Edit to add: I still have dreams about Harry all these years later. Ieeither dream that he's healthy and someone is coming to put them down, or that I still have him. I woke up only the other week thinking "I could ride Harry today" and then realised that no, I couldn't.

 

[daughter's groom]

Foolishly sold my darling pony two years ago and still long to drive down the lane to the yard and see his little head over his stable door.

 

[Shantara]

I know how you feel we had Holly the cat PTS almost 2 years ago now and every time I see a tortoiseshell cat, I just can't help but want it desperately.

I was absolutely heart broken when one followed me and my friend and I had to leave it it looked just like my old kitty.

 

[LauraWheeler]

(((((hugs))))))
It's been over 3 years since I lost Lucy and not a day goes by when I don't think about her. Most of the time I can recall happy memorys but on Tuesday while on my way to work I came across the hunt heading home after a great day. I suddenly felt the pain of my heart being ripped out all over again. (Hunting was Lucys most fav thing) I sobbed all the way to work. Once I arrived I managed to pull myself together and lunge the pony I had gone to excersise. I put him back out in his field and went to fetch the feed to give to the mare I am also looking after. One of the liverys had just come back from the hunt and told me what a fantastic day it was. I went and fed the mare and sobbed some more. It was quite dark by this point and as I stood waiting for the mare to finish her feed I was looking up at the sky. Suddenly a shooting star shot across the sky, it was big and bright and was visable for ages. Suddenly in that moment I felt calm and I swear I could feel my old mare breathing down my neck the way she always used to when I was sad. I believe it was her telling me she is still with me.

They never truly leave us and although my heart is broken from loosing her I wouldn't change a single moment of our time together.

 

[micramadam]

SLH,inanswer to your question, yes and no. Time eases the pain but it never leaves you. My pain is still fresh from Ruby's loss in March and I sometimes still sob for my pony mare I had to have PTS with a broken hind leg 30 years ago.
I have to have that special connection with horses and have found another one. She arrives on 30th November. I know that eventually I will have to say goodbye to her as well but we only have one life so live and most importantly love to your fullest capacity. This is what makes us special.

 

[Nicnac]

You don't get over it but time does lessen the pain.