How do you get your confidence back?

[J_sarahd]

Bit of background:

I've always been quite nervous when it comes to hacking as I've never really had access to a horse that's good at hacking. I've had some very scary scenarios, including a horse rearing and cantering sideways on the road.

ANYWAY! My current boy was always quite good at hacking and that's one of the reasons I bought him. At 5 years old, he had a very sensible head on his shoulders and wasn't fazed by traffic.

At our last yard, we barely did any hacking for various reasons but since moving in March, we've done a lot of hacking. However, a few weeks ago we had a bit of an incident involving some d of e walkers. Pony was terrified of them and kept trying to nap home, spinning and rearing until I had to get off to get him past them.

Since then, he seems to be napping and spooking a bit more. I took him out on my own on Sunday and he spooked/napped at a group of people. Yesterday, I took him out with a friend on a very sensible horse (I was going to jump and I wish I had done!) and he spooked at some birds - which caused him to spin and try to canter off in this field but I managed to stop him - and he spooked/napped at a couple eating their tea in their car!

I know that it's probably partly my worries and also potentially the spring grass making him like this but I need help in getting my confidence back. There was a point where we just hacked for about 2 weeks and now the weathers good, I want to get back to that mentality/confidence again.

 

[Mule]

Hmm, maybe just go out for very small distances at first and come back before you get too nervous. You could lengthen the time you spend out gradually. Also, you could try some deep breathing when you are doing it, to help you relax.

 

[canteron]

You have to set up ‘small’ incidences with similar situations that you can both cope with - so when you are out you are confident you can cope and the horse can cope!!

Ie when walking my horses to and from the stable I set up flags we have to walk past, sometimes place tarpaulins on the ground to walk over, go to hand graze by the washing, watch the tennis or children on the trampoline - anything I can think off.

Then also research practical riding tools such as one rein stops, shoulder in and breathing techniques.

Look at Karl Greenwood and Warwick Schiller and anyone else you like. Maybe hypnotherapy if you are fixated.

I think after a certain age confidence is something you have to continuously work at along with other riding skills? It’s actually really interesting!

 

[Mule]

You have to set up ‘small’ incidences with similar situations that you can both cope with - so when you are out you are confident you can cope and the horse can cope!!

Ie when walking my horses to and from the stable I set up flags we have to walk past, sometimes place tarpaulins on the ground to walk over, go to hand graze by the washing, watch the tennis or children on the trampoline - anything I can think off.

Then also research practical riding tools such as one rein stops, shoulder in and breathing techniques.

Look at Karl Greenwood and Warwick Schiller and anyone else you like. Maybe hypnotherapy if you are fixated.

I think after a certain age confidence is something you have to continuously work at along with other riding skills? It’s actually really interesting!

Good idea.

 

[J_sarahd]

That is a good idea, thank you canteron. We've got a track out the back of our yard that is like a 40 mins and we can meet people on there and sometimes we won't. We went out for a plod with someone else on Wednesday and didn't meet a single person, so he was really calm and relaxed (as was I!).

It seems to be groups of people of more than 2 or 3 OR people doing "weird" things. I know I tense up when he tenses up - thankfully I can feel his spins coming. My friend yesterday told me to just keep repeating "we're okay, everything's going to be okay".

I'm just so annoyed because my confidence hacking out had really come on so SO much!

 

[Widgeon]

I think after a certain age confidence is something you have to continuously work at along with other riding skills? It’s actually really interesting!

This is an interesting point and one that I've found to be true, although I guess it will depend on what sort of personality you have to start with.

OP, it's just a thought, but if you are slightly worried and your horse is slightly worried, you may be setting each other off. Could you hire someone to hack your horse for a while, so you can see he's going well and settling down (because it sounds like he will)? That might give you more confidence, then you could start interspersing your own hacks with theirs. I've been thinking about doing this myself because I have a real confidence problem with solo hacking - as soon as we have a tiny nap, spook, spin I start to seize up rather than just riding through it, as I would without thinking when in company.

ETA - and do you have a neckstrap? I love mine, I keep two fingers in it whenever I feel myself worrying about anything and it's enough of comfort blanket to mean that I don't tense up or ride any differently, which then obviously means the problem is usually no longer a problem. I would say my biggest issue with riding is my own psychology!

 

[J_sarahd]

Widgeon - oh yes I definitely think we are setting each other off. I'm not sure if the d of e drama affected his confidence but it definitely affected mine. I am happy for someone else to hack him out, I just wouldn't know where to start looking for that. I do always hack him out in a neck strap, whether it's a plod hack or a faster one like you said as a comfort blanket. I just forget to use it sometimes when I tense up!

 

[Nicnac]

Every time you spot something that you think he may react to, sing and concentrate on your breathing into your stomach via your mouth and out through your nose. It will concentrate your mind. He was amazing hacking, and still is, remember the positive hacks you have had which far outnumber the negative incidents.

If you spot people, talk to them as that will calm him.
Go out little and often. 10 minutes of success is something to celebrate.