how do you give a sharer a rap on the knuckles?

B

blackandwhite

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 October 2012
Messages
384
Visit site
Just had yet another excuse text from my sharer which is getting very close to being the last straw. She rides my boy very well but apart from that she doesn't seem to grasp the concept of sharing. She cancels almost 50% of the time, I have to have him left in because she can't catch him, I'm having to arrange my family's lives around the time she's going to ride (or, as today, when she won't be because she's "slept in"). I don't ask her to do any jobs and I pay for lessons and show entries...

Yes... you're right, I need to sack her.
 
It sounds like you're paying her to ride not sharing your horse. I know before I had my own I would have been grateful of the opportunity to even help with the jobs never mind go to shows!!
 
mickey, taking , The!

Rearrange as needed... - Wish someone would arrange my horse to be in, pay for my lessons and pay for everything else! - Oh and do all my chores too!!!

On a serious note - How long has it been going on? If she only began a few months ago and its already becoming 'a pain' I would kick her off and find someone better suited!

If she is just having a bad patch - remind her that its a share arrangement and perhaps if it doesnt suit her anymore - she just needs to say,

Good Luck
 
Your last sentence says it all really!:D I ditched a sharer recently for a similar reason. I haven't managed to replace her, so the horse is still doing little work, but TBH its better than all the let downs.

Give her a last chance? Say that you are a bit worried that this is not working out well and that you feel a bit messed around by her, is she really interested in this share or should you readvertise? See if it bumps her into shaping up a bit..
 
Just say "sorry, it's not working for me, my horse or my family. Hope you find something more suitable" and close the door on all the hassle.
 
Lol tallyho, you're so right!

Honestly what am I doing! I've had days where I have had to stop what I'm doing here, arrange for my children to be collected from school and then drive to the yard to bring him in cause she's stood at the gate like a wallflower texting me about how he won't come in!! I am a moron. She's costing me money and doing naff all. Thank god for HHO sense :D
 
Definitely get rid. A sharer is supposed to make your life easier & it sounds like all she's doing is causing you hassle. In the same vein as what StoptheCavalry said, she should be grateful that you've given her the chance to share your pride & joy. Find someone who appreciates your boy & won't leave him high & dry :)
 
I pay to share a horse and I wouldn't dream of doing that. Owner can't hack out unless I turn up. Plus my function is to get the horse I'm riding used to hacking out and reliable and calm enough for her to ride.

Now you got me thinking .. Should I be charging her ? :D
 
You could sack her if she was paying you, as even when someone is paying you don't want to poor horse left in for no reason. When I shared there were a couple of times I couldn't ride or didn't have time due to daylight but mostly I would go feed etc anyway and if not would grovel a bit (sometimes getting in a pickle with assignment deadlines). Everyone has times they can't make it but sleeping in is not a good excuse!

So many people would jump at the chance to compete and have lessons paid for, even I would and I have my own horse!
 
Wow what a great arrangement for the sharer but totally defeats the purpose of having one if she's taking up more of your time than not actually having her. Definitely get rid as others have said there's plenty of nice, reliable sharers about :)
 
I pay for the lessons for the horse's benefit. He's still quite a novice so I like to be sure on that front. I'm getting sulky brat texts now!
 
blackandwhite said:
I pay for the lessons for the horse's benefit. He's still quite a novice so I like to be sure on that front. I'm getting sulky brat texts now!
Click to expand...

HOw old is she? Don't reply. You've been more than fair, by what you said here. She's no thought for your poor horse, who has had to stand in all day because she can't get her bottom out of bed! What's wrong with some people?!
 
blackandwhite said:
She's just sent me another "can I just cancel so I can clean my flat" text. I sacked her.
Click to expand...

Excellent. Now have a lovely weekend, stress free and just do what you want to do :)

Just ignore her. She's given you absolutely no respect so why should you afford her any.

Hoorah!
 
I was going to say give her another chance and explain that you need someone who is going to commit therefore she needs to go when it's her turn. However, after seeing she text to ask to cancel as she needs to clean her flat, I completely agree with sacking her!

I share and I would'nt arrange things to do on the days I ride, because that is what I have to do that day. Nowadays with my work I occasionally have to cancel as I have to go to works drinks when our big boss is over from the US but I try to put it off as much as I can (I can only have so many 'non-appearances' before my boss asks me to make the effort and go!) and if I do cancel I offer to swap a day.
 
Sharing a horse is a two way thing. When half isn't really interested & doesn't keep up their
end of the agreement then it's time to part company.

Regarding the sulky brat texts, just tell her to grow up & start being responsible & it's her that has brought all this on. At least now you'll know what's happening & when. You'll find someone else who'll realise how lucky they are to be a sharer with you. Good Luck. :)
 
Tell her that you've had enough of her behaviour, she's having a bad impact on your life & your boy's life & your decision is final. Then ignore the sulky brat texts. Don't get drawn into an argument. If she was that bothered, she'd have put the effort in from the start.
Enjoy the reduced stress & I hope you get a better sharer next time :)
 
there are plenty of v. keen sharers, but next time maybe ask for even £5 a day? that way you will only get committed people. even if i dont have time to ride my share on my day I will still go down and muck out/feed because the point of the owner having a sharer is so they get a day off!
 
horselessb said:
there are plenty of v. keen sharers, but next time maybe ask for even £5 a day? that way you will only get committed people. even if i dont have time to ride my share on my day I will still go down and muck out/feed because the point of the owner having a sharer is so they get a day off!
Click to expand...

I'm having a similar problem to the OP at the moment and thought by asking a sharer to pay it would "prove" she was keen and would make her show up......

Unfortunately my sharer doesn't give me the money if she doesn't turn up! :( She's been my "sharer" for 7 months now and has only been maybe 10 times and has only given me a £5 each time she's been! If I don't text her to find out if she's coming she doesn't even bother to let me know she can't come...

Grr!

So I've started to look for a new one once I've found someone I will ask original girl to kindly go away and not come back.

I feel for you OP as it is awkward! Good on you for telling her straight out I'd just ignore any childish messages you now get...

Can I come share with you if you're willing to pay for my lessons? lol I'd have thought anyone would be super keen if it meant free lessons!!!
 
Wow ! Where are you? Sounds like a super set up to me ...... Free riding, free lessons and no chores ( not even catching your horse)!!

With no financial commitment she had no need to be committed as she was onto a winner and not losing anything at all. I think next time you'll have to not be so generous :)
 
Oh no she did have a financial commitment which is basically just pay per view! She doesn't pay if she doesn't come. She's clearly set a budget for herself despite having agreed to more. I'm an idiot for having put up with it for so long. Her financial input is nothing like what she takes out. Essentially she's using him like a riding school horse for a fraction of the cost.

Oh well I'll have to be much more strict next time :D
 
I share a horse and pay a flat sum of £20 per week.Recently I was really ill and couldn't ride for a week. I debated whether to pay for that week or ask the owner if it was ok that I didn't pay but in the end I decided to just pay as normal because the horse still costs money that week even if I don't ride. Also, we have an arrangement and I didn't think it was fair not to pay even if I couldn't make it. Maybe I'm too kind but I really like the owner and she has been extremely flexible so I want to be fair to her as well.

I don't envy those who are trying to find a sharer as it sounds like there are lots of idiots out there...
 
Don't give her a rap on the knuckles, just get rid of her. She's getting everything for free and giving you nothing in return, which defeats the object of having a sharer. I had one for my last horse - she contributed financially as well as committing to 3 (sometimes 4) days per week, and did stable jobs on her days.

You won't have a problem finding someone more reliable.
 
ainouu said:
I share a horse and pay a flat sum of £20 per week.Recently I was really ill and couldn't ride for a week. I debated whether to pay for that week or ask the owner if it was ok that I didn't pay but in the end I decided to just pay as normal because the horse still costs money that week even if I don't ride. Also, we have an arrangement and I didn't think it was fair not to pay even if I couldn't make it. Maybe I'm too kind but I really like the owner and she has been extremely flexible so I want to be fair to her as well.

I don't envy those who are trying to find a sharer as it sounds like there are lots of idiots out there...
Click to expand...

Tbh i think you pay whether youre ill or not, for the reasons you stated. I'm currently a sharer although I'm lucky that I dont have to pay at the moment, but I have shared horses before with a weekly charge and I pain monthly like a lovery bill, or bought the feed and shoes, or something else. Also I think the pay per day thing is a little unclear and she maybe thought she was agreeing to something different from you.

I have also shared my horse when I had him a few years ago, although this was mutally beneficial and i never took the pee and neither did the sharer.

Its definately a mine field and when i was looking for my current share I was very honest with the different people I spoke to as with a young family i find it difficult to commit completely. If i did I'd have my own again.

My current boy is working really well for me and I hope for them too.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top