How do you know selling your horse is the right thing to do

[soph15]

I’ve owned my boy for 5 years and I love him so much…but I just don’t enjoy riding him

When I brought him from a dealer, he came with an issue with the mounting block. With advise from vets etc, we managed to rule out pain so I then sent him off on schooling livery to get help as I just couldn’t do it myself.

He has been an angel ever since and never put a foot wrong at the mounting block with me for the last two years…but I have never been able to move past it with my confidence. I’ve continued for the last year to have lessons every single week in the hopes I’d get my confidence with him, but I’m still not getting there. And then to make matters worse, out of the blue he threw my instructor off at the mounting block having not had a problem with it for over 2 years. I don’t want to blame that incident on him as at the time there were many variables and my instructor had a very long flappy coat which in the wind was enough to set him off. But now I’m doubting whether the problem is resolved with the mounting block but equally he has not had a problem with it for over two years now and every professional he has seen have all said he doesn’t have a problem, he just didn’t have the correct training so was confused and frightened in the past.

I brought him as a 4 year old but he had 5 homes before me in the space of a year. I wish I could offer him a forever home so that I can promise him he will never be passed around again, but I’m at an awkward time in my life where I’m finishing university and need to focus on my career so I just don’t have the confidence and time to help him.

Above all, I am battling an incurable health problem which is deteriorating and will require further surgery in the next year or so. I physically cannot look after a horse in this state and sadly I think the best thing I can do for him is to sell him and give up with horses for the time being.

Any advice would be appreciated as I have never sold a horse before and I feel sick with guilt because I love him so much, but I just want to see him reach his full potential with somebody who isn’t frail health wise and has the confidence to bring out the best in him

What is everyone’s experience/advice with selling a horse and am I doing the right thing?

 

[Spotherisk]

If it’s the right thing for you then there’s your answer. At only nine years old he is in his prime to move on and have a great rest of his life, perhaps sales livery would work?

 

[meleeka]

I always think it’s better to regret something you’ve done than regret something you haven’t done. Horses cost a lot and if you aren’t the right match, then it’s an awful lot of effort. Somebody else will likely love him just as much as you do, only they might be a better fit and he will then have his forever home.

I kept one that I shouldn’t have. I loved him dearly, but my confidence totally went. One bad experience was all it took and I just never trusted him to ride after that. Somebody else could have had years of enjoyment from him and I could have started again with a more suitable horse and I regret not being brave enough to do it.

 

[Equi]

From what you’re saying you’re doing the right thing. I sold a horse I had had for 5 years after he spun me off and I was never able to ride for more than 5 mins without crippling fear. We were never going to work past that at that point in time.

 

[Burnerbee]

I’m sorry to hear of your illness - I hope you can do lots of things you do enjoy. Re your horse, can you do a LWVTB? If not it sounds very much like you only settle on a new home for him where you are confident he will be able to live out his years, so please don’t beat yourself up now.

 

[Peglo]

Selling doesn’t sound like a wrong decision for you but as Burnerbee said maybe a loan to start with might give you the confidence that you’re doing the right thing and seeing someone else falling in love with him will make you happier with your decision.
Sorry about your health issues but it does sound like you need to put yourself first for the next while.

 

[Trouper]

Agree with @Peglo and @Burnerbee - try to find him a good loan home first. It will give you the break you need and also show you how he might settle with a new person. If some similar problems arise then you will have the evidence to make a decision about his long-term future. If you sell him now you lose all control over whether he ends getting passed on all the time again.

 

[canteron]

Find a really good sales livery where they will do all the sifting through interested parties before selling and then sell to you why it is the right home.
This type normally charges you a weekly fee and a small percentage, and will have the horse for 2 weeks to understand it before letting anyone view.
I have sold 2 lovely horses this way - they both went on to great homes and I have rare updates (maybe once a year you can’t be demanding) and feel good about my decision to rehome them x

 

[Tarragon]

I think that I have made the mistake before of thinking that only I can help a pony, when in reality, the pony might have thrived in a different environment and with a different person!
Your horse could well be somebody else's perfect match, so I wouldn't worry about it, providing you do your due diligence when selling him.

 

[I'm Dun]

Sell him, be picky and find the right person, and then allow yourself to grieve for what might have been and what you have lost. Then find something to fill the gap left behind. I did it. It too me 6 months and a really hideous loan home attempt to face reality, it hurt like hell, but it was the right thing to do. Life is easier without him. I miss him, but hes happy and living his best life and thats all I ever wanted for him.

 

[Annagain]

I was in a similar position with a horse (minus the health issues) I had for about 2 years. He'd never really done much wrong but he always felt like he was ready to explode and I never had the confidence to really ride him through it. I'd end up just sitting there and hoping for the best which did neither of us any good. If you search through some of my old posts from about December 2021 - April 2022 you'll see how much I agonised over it! It was complicated as he got diagnosed with mild KS at around the time I decided to sell him. It was a last attempt to address the issues we had but after he had some time off for treatment, I really didn't want to get back on him so that was decision made. I sent him to livery for full rehab and then to be sold with full disclosure and all his medical records. He was there 10 weeks in total. I could have sold him myself as a project and got roughly the same (or more) as I did via sales livery once the costs had been covered but I knew that was his best chance of getting the right home. He found the best home. He's out eventing with his new owner who adores him. I have regular updates and love hearing how well he's doing. I then bought one I absolutely love - I did more on my new boy in 2 weeks than I'd done with the old one in 2 years. I know you're in a slightly different position as you won't be getting another horse but although it broke my heart at the time, selling Charlie was by far the best thing for both of us.

 

[Jambarissa]

From what you say I'd think you are doing the right thing.

It sounds like a bit of a quirk which many people could handle, and he sounds like a nice horse that could get a good home.

I'd make it clear that he used to have issues at the mounting block and ensure you're only selling to someone who appears confident. I'm hesitant to suggest a loan with view to buy but that would be ideal to ensure he's gone to the right person, you could offer a trial at your yard if they're local.

 

[Michen]

Honestly, I'd sell any horse that I could even consider selling. Horses are so expensive, I'd only ever keep the ones where it literally wouldn't cross my mind to sell because it would be unthinkable.

 

[MidChristmasCrisis]

When you feel relief at making the decision..it’s the right one.

 

[nikkimariet]

Why would you keep a horse you don’t enjoy riding. Pro or am or anything in between it should be fun?

 

[IrishMilo]

I've just sold one I didn't enjoy riding. He was the kindest horse in the world and I felt so horrible but he's gone to someone who thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. I bet the relief will be massive. I'm sorry to hear about your health issues too.

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I worship the ground my horse walks on, but if we do not get on ridden (I am backing him as we speak) then he will be full loaned or sold, and I have no shame in saying that. You have set him up for success in another home the best you can by 99% getting the mounting issue fixed, and they are too expensive to not fully enjoy, so I don't think it would be the wrong thing to do at all - and you will probably sigh a sigh of relief once you have made the decision.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I’ve owned my boy for 5 years and I love him so much…but I just don’t enjoy riding him

When I brought him from a dealer, he came with an issue with the mounting block. With advise from vets etc, we managed to rule out pain so I then sent him off on schooling livery to get help as I just couldn’t do it myself.

He has been an angel ever since and never put a foot wrong at the mounting block with me for the last two years…but I have never been able to move past it with my confidence. I’ve continued for the last year to have lessons every single week in the hopes I’d get my confidence with him, but I’m still not getting there. And then to make matters worse, out of the blue he threw my instructor off at the mounting block having not had a problem with it for over 2 years. I don’t want to blame that incident on him as at the time there were many variables and my instructor had a very long flappy coat which in the wind was enough to set him off. But now I’m doubting whether the problem is resolved with the mounting block but equally he has not had a problem with it for over two years now and every professional he has seen have all said he doesn’t have a problem, he just didn’t have the correct training so was confused and frightened in the past.

I brought him as a 4 year old but he had 5 homes before me in the space of a year. I wish I could offer him a forever home so that I can promise him he will never be passed around again, but I’m at an awkward time in my life where I’m finishing university and need to focus on my career so I just don’t have the confidence and time to help him.

Above all, I am battling an incurable health problem which is deteriorating and will require further surgery in the next year or so. I physically cannot look after a horse in this state and sadly I think the best thing I can do for him is to sell him and give up with horses for the time being.

Any advice would be appreciated as I have never sold a horse before and I feel sick with guilt because I love him so much, but I just want to see him reach his full potential with somebody who isn’t frail health wise and has the confidence to bring out the best in him

What is everyone’s experience/advice with selling a horse and am I doing the right thing?

depends on circumstances. None of my horses normally never get sold as they here for life except. My lovely shared tb x as was struggling to save my mare of a lifetime and it was financial. the other was a donkey i half owned and she was not happy here living in on a yard, so sold her to lovely family with other donkeys, the rest have home for life.

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

I worship the ground my horse walks on, but if we do not get on ridden (I am backing him as we speak) then he will be full loaned or sold, and I have no shame in saying that. You have set him up for success in another home the best you can by 99% getting the mounting issue fixed, and they are too expensive to not fully enjoy, so I don't think it would be the wrong thing to do at all - and you will probably sigh a sigh of relief once you have made the decision.

same my mare of a life time I worshiped the ground she walked on and would happily lay down and let her step over me.