How do you know when it's time

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Polos Mum

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Absolutely devastated, our old (13 years) collie has been diagnosed with cancer, large lump in her stomach and secondary in her lung. Not much that can be done although they have sent samples away to see if it is a kind that might respond to sympathetic treatment.
She's a rescue and I'm not sending her away for invasive high risk surgery/ chemo. - vet agrees this is unlikely to be fair on her

How do we know when is the time? She looks grim tonight, but had loads of fluid drained from her chest and general so to be expected I guess.

I'm always in the 'better a month too early than a day too late camp' but now push is coming to shove I don't want to miss a day with her but I REALY don't want her to suffer.
Any tips?
 
So sorry for you. Maybe arrange a nice day soon with you, dog and those who care. Talk, share memories. And then next day. Hard, I know. We will be facing that soon. Good vibes to you all.
 
If it was my dog I would worry that she would take a turn for the worse in the middle of the night and be in a lot of pain before I could get a vet out, you cant control her future but you can control the present, I would give her a day and spoil her rotten then arrange for the vet later to come and put her to sleep.

Im so sorry you are going through this, it never gets any easier, in fact I would say it gets harder, but its the last selfless act we can do for a much loved dog. Hugs to you x
 
You'll know. I knew, it was one split moment when my dog looked at me. He had a query cancerous lump on his back along with a heart murmur that had gotten progressively worse and the vets told me to take each day as it came, and put him on a high dose of steroids.
I had booked him in for the Monday and decided to enjoy the weekend with him and feed him all the bonios in the world but he sadly went on the Sunday through a severe, prolonged fit. By the time we got him to the emergency vet he had died. It kills me inside and every day I wish I could turn back the clock.

Big hugs. It isn't easy. But as the old adage goes: 'Better a week too early than a day too late'. x
 
I'm going through this right now with my twelve year old in kidney failure.
I read this quote,which is helpful to me...

"Doctor Alice Villalobos is a well-known veterinary oncologist. Her “HHHHHMM” Quality of Life Scale is another useful tool. The five H’s and two M’s are: Hurt, Hunger, Hydration, Happiness, Hygiene (the ability to keep the pet clean from bodily waste), Mobility and More (as in, more good days than bad). Dr. Villalobos recommends grading each category on a scale of 1-10 (with 1 being poorest quality of life and 10 being best). If the majority of categories are ranked as 5 or above, continuing with supportive care is acceptable."

it is a very hard decision to make it and we have to be strong to take our beloved pet full circle.I also agree with the day to early is better than a day too late and do think they tell you when they are ready to let go of their pain. My dog has had a slow decline ,whereas your poor girls condition has been more of a sudden shock to you.I also think you need to have a few days to digest this and prepare yourself. I also agree with you not to do chemo in a dog of this age.Hugs to you,this is an awful time for sure to go through.
 
Dobiegirl said:
If it was my dog I would worry that she would take a turn for the worse in the middle of the night and be in a lot of pain before I could get a vet out, you cant control her future but you can control the present, I would give her a day and spoil her rotten then arrange for the vet later to come and put her to sleep.
This ^^ . We had our old lurcher PTS about this time last year. He had a large lipoma and his back legs were weak. He had lost his back end a couple of times and my big worry was that he fell whilst I was at work and was unable to get up.
It's such a hard decision and when we knew the time was coming we just felt dreadful. His face kind of told me that he'd had enough.
We had him PTS at home, I fed him a couple of corned beef pasties that morning and gave him a sedative (prescribed by the vet) as he was very protective especially when strangers came into his home.
It was so peaceful, knowing what was coming was the worst part. Once he was gone I knew we had made the right decision. I agree that you should give her a little time to get over her GA and see how she is before making the decision. It's an awful thing to be going through and my thoughts are with you.
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This is something I'm starting to think about - my girl is severely arthritic in her hips. She's done really well on meds until recently when she has stopped tolerating her anti-inflammatories (gives her copious amounts of bloody diarrhoea - have tried mutliple types with no success) so is now on codeine and paracetamol. When I'm home for christmas she's going to my old vets (I'm away at uni and haven't found a vets I properly trust yet) to talk to them about options to see if there's anything else we can add in.
My dilema comes from when we're at the yard she's her old self, she's mental and fairly bouncy, wants to play etc (I'm sensible for her and she's not allowed to do loads and is kept warm) but on an evening she struggles to get up from lying down and is really struggling with stairs now to the point I've had to start helping her. I see her on an evening and think we're not far off it being time then we go to the yard and she's like her old cheeky self - makes it so hard to work out as if she didn't want to come for her walk to the field and didn't want to play ever then it would be easy to say she's had enough. I desperately don't want to leave her too long and have her suffer and be in pain beyond what I can control with meds but obv don't want to loose her. She has to come first, absolutly, no questions but it's so hard to judge!!!
 
She is gone, I took her in the next day, just taken me a few days to be able to write that down. So sorry for all of you in similar situations. It is heart breaking even when its the right thing to do.
 
You are very brave and a responsible owner op, I wish more people put their dogs first rather than their feelings, it is heartbreaking and we would all love more time with our dogs but the dog has to come first.
 
So sorry. It is a brave thing to do because it means thinking of her rather than yourself.
I've got one who is getting more and more frail - I was once told by a vet that they gradually get older and more frail and then it is as though they fall of a cliff, they deteriorate suddenly. I have always found that to be the case, the trick is being able to get to a vet before that sudden deterioration becomes suffering. My 18 yr old JRT is coming to the end of the line but still has flashes of activity and joi de vivre, so it is hard.
 
So sorry to hear you have lost her we lost our BC aged 13 last march, again large tumour surrounding all organs. We were lucky that he was running on the mendips on the Monday wobbly on the Wednesday and after one night at the vets when they thought it was peritonitis he was scanned then we went in and he was pts on the Saturday. It does get easier, it takes a while and a new mad BC helped us no end but it will get easier x
 
Dobiegirl said:
You are very brave and a responsible owner op, I wish more people put their dogs first rather than their feelings, it is heartbreaking and we would all love more time with our dogs but the dog has to come first.
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Couldn't have put it better, sorry for your loss Polos Mum xxx
 
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