how do you manage day to day life with your horses and mental health?

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meltb

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In light of Mental Health Awareness week, and following on from the article published by H&H (https://www.horseandhound.co.uk/plu...pport-all-riders-mental-health-hh-plus-714977), how do you manage day to day life with your horses and mental health?

Horses have proven time and time again to be therapeutic, reducing stress levels (well, let's be honest, they add to it aswell but we wouldn't have it any other way). They provide and give us focus and structure in our lives. Since I was a teenager, I was lucky enough to have a pony (provided I found a way to pay for her...somehow I did!) and she was with me through everything. I grew up with her and she taught me so much; she helped me through my grief of losing my showjumper in such a devastating way a few years ago. So, when I lost her due to old age, it hit me hard. It felt as though as though she was the last part of my childhood, and now she'd gone.

I have had so many days in my life where getting out of bed and doing day to day tasks seems absolutely impossible because I see no point to anything. For the most part, the thought of knowing that my horses are waiting to be looked after and waiting to see me gives me that push. But there have been days when I haven't managed to go up, and my Mum has sorted them or Livery Services, days I'd beat myself up over losing. I am very hard on myself about everything; I think we forget to be kind to ourselves- we live in such a hard world and it's all too easy to put ourselves under the spotlight of blame.

There have been times when my horses have been the only friends I've had, the only ones I can turn to or rely on - for that, I owe them absolutely everything. Most days, I wear a 'mask' and go through the motions, but with my horse I can be myself.

The reason for this thread is I am wondering how others manage - one example being, how do you deal with side effects from medications while you are at the stables?

I'm sure one day I will find life more manageable, until then I'll keep plodding on,

Please share your stories, and please know you are not alone x
 
I have horses so my mental health is terrific. I also have horses so my mental health is buggered and I'm an open gate or a field injury away from complete breakdown.

One night - after a long day and a lot of non-horse related stress - I drove to and from the stables, a 15 mile round trip, 4 times before I had fully satisfied myself that my pony's door was shut and bolted correctly. For several years after that, I had to take a photo of the bolted door before I left, to avoid it happening again, or spending all night visualising him getting out onto the road, despite knowing I'd shut the damn door. I still have rituals for tying up gates and double-triple-ad infinitum checking before I leave.

But hey, at least I'm pretty reliable about not leaving stuff open ;)
 
I'm struggling right now to be honest. Struggling with the enormity of everything and how long life will be like this. Missing my family.

Last couple of weeks I've started controlling/restricting my food again. I'm battling it with everything I've got but its exhausting. So much so that I've withdrawn from social media and stopped contacting friends.

This morning I really struggled to get out of bed and face another day of it.

Decided I need something to focus on something so I've given myself the task of getting my mini Shetland lunging and long reining. She is SO fat that I briefly wondered if she might be in foal, so getting her active will benefit both of us! ? Also she is ridiculously cute and spending more time in her company can only be a good thing.
 
i really can't tell if my ponies are good for my mental health or not. Ive had the best morning just wandering over the fields with a pony and a couple of my kids, and I felt the most calm and most positive I have done for weeks. But then we got back to the yard and the other pony coughed a horrible dry cough three times in half an hour, and now my anxiety is sky high. I love having them around, and generally spending time with them, but the weight of responsibility sits very heavily on me (it doesn't help that I keep mine at home, so I don't have anyone to reassure me about little things!)

But the upside of having them at home is that on the days when I am struggling, I only have to do the bare minimum- chuck some hay in first thing and last thing, and top up the water, and that's it.
 
southerncomfort said:
I'm struggling right now to be honest. Struggling with the enormity of everything and how long life will be like this. Missing my family.

Last couple of weeks I've started controlling/restricting my food again. I'm battling it with everything I've got but its exhausting. So much so that I've withdrawn from social media and stopped contacting friends.

This morning I really struggled to get out of bed and face another day of it.

Decided I need something to focus on something so I've given myself the task of getting my mini Shetland lunging and long reining. She is SO fat that I briefly wondered if she might be in foal, so getting her active will benefit both of us! ? Also she is ridiculously cute and spending more time in her company can only be a good thing.
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I’m really sorry you are struggling. Have a virtual hug ?

My horses are responsible for my sanity. I don’t have anyone else to look after them so I have to go and feed them. I can guarantee that even when I’ve had to force myself to get out of the house, I always feel better when I’m with them and if I can’t forget my problems, I can at least think straighter wheh I’m just sitting watching them eat or pottering around. In fact I probably spend far too much time at my field, sometimes just having a cuppa and watching the birds, but it’s my happy place so I’m just allowing myself to forget about all the other things I should be doing for now.
Having multiple horses is harder work, but I’m not putting all my stresses on just one, so I’m a lot more calm about their health I think.
 
Totally rely on my horses and cats to keep me sane. Like a lot of people, I'm seriously struggling with everything at the moment.

Have a house sale going through and a pending emigration that has been delayed due to the virus, the logistics of moving everything and multiple horses causes me no end of stress. I am alone for huge chunks of time as hubby is already abroad with work. so I dont see a single soul for weeks, miss my family. The forum also helps keep me sane.
 
JFTDWS said:
I have horses so my mental health is terrific. I also have horses so my mental health is buggered and I'm an open gate or a field injury away from complete breakdown.

One night - after a long day and a lot of non-horse related stress - I drove to and from the stables, a 15 mile round trip, 4 times before I had fully satisfied myself that my pony's door was shut and bolted correctly. For several years after that, I had to take a photo of the bolted door before I left, to avoid it happening again, or spending all night visualising him getting out onto the road, despite knowing I'd shut the damn door. I still have rituals for tying up gates and double-triple-ad infinitum checking before I leave.

But hey, at least I'm pretty reliable about not leaving stuff open ;)
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I thought I was the only one who did this! It's my nightmare leaving doors/gates open and check and double check, then check again. I appear to be capable of looking at a locked gate and wondering if I've locked it!
 
I reckon about evens.
same as worrying about one that is 200 miles away, there less to find things to worry about, worry more if there is an issue you aren't there to deal/help with.
 
I have terrible issues with my mental health anyway but the last 5 Months have been the worst of my life, nursing my poor mare who I lost on Friday. I’m not really sure where I’m at currently, I don’t really feel anything. Just emptiness, I have a 2 yo filly to help keep me going but I can even feel myself not wanting to go to the fields to check on her and have my friend do it instead. Horses definitely haven’t helped my mental health recently.

But, my friend has asked if I want to take the 2 yo for a walk tonight with her whilst she rides and as much as I really just want to sleep and hide away, I’m going to try my hardest to force myself to go. It’s such a crap time as it is without having mental health problems too.
 
PictusSweetDreams said:
I have terrible issues with my mental health anyway but the last 5 Months have been the worst of my life, nursing my poor mare who I lost on Friday. I’m not really sure where I’m at currently, I don’t really feel anything. Just emptiness, I have a 2 yo filly to help keep me going but I can even feel myself not wanting to go to the fields to check on her and have my friend do it instead. Horses definitely haven’t helped my mental health recently.

But, my friend has asked if I want to take the 2 yo for a walk tonight with her whilst she rides and as much as I really just want to sleep and hide away, I’m going to try my hardest to force myself to go. It’s such a crap time as it is without having mental health problems too.
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Massive hugs to you :( So sorry to hear about your mare xx

Thankyou everyone for replying x
 
Stay strong everyone, we will all get through this and all the individual struggles we have.

I don't usually quote stuff but theres a line from a film that really hit home with me "You're an emotional jigsaw at the moment but you're gonna piece yourself back together. You just start with the corners, look for the blue bits".

A virtual *hug* to everyone, whether you think you need one or not.
 
A friend at work has a wonderful saying, ‘you can only be as happy as your least happy child’, and while I don’t see my animals as ‘children’ I do think this saying has real validity for anyone caring for animals.

When I had horses, if I was stressed at home or work, I really tried to dial down on my riding expectations and just tried to enjoy the proximity to horses and the good people on the yard. I’m also really missing the drive from home to the yard - I could mentally separate from work / home crap. At the moment I can’t get away in the same way, which has contributed to this feeling of being overwhelmed by everything.
 
I get very Smeagol-y if I don't leave the house. Brings back all the feelings from the unemployed-and-flirting-with-alcoholism days so
if I wasn't going up to the yard on a Sunday just to muck out and groom a bit I don't know what kind of deep dark hole I would be in. I come back in the evening a different person to who left. I am really grateful that I was able to get the volunteer induction done 2 weeks before lockdown hit, talk about timing.
ester said:
and while I can't manage a horse that is the very reason I landed the new guinea pigs. Sometimes you need someone who needs feeding.
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Yes, I should also give credit to my three wee hamster children. Hard to be completely down in the dumps when theres a rodent (or a cavy!) making an idiot of itself to cheer you up.
 
Flicker said:
A friend at work has a wonderful saying, ‘you can only be as happy as your least happy child’, and while I don’t see my animals as ‘children’ I do think this saying has real validity for anyone caring for animals.

.
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That is very true, both for animals and children.
 
Flicker that's a very good point, it was something I worked out quite early for myself, that although I find transitions tricky, and am often found to be sat in the car a while on the driveway once home. The idea of a campus uni was definitely not for me. I don't mind a short commute but any commute helps with that change of state.
 
ester said:
Flicker that's a very good point, it was something I worked out quite early for myself, that although I find transitions tricky, and am often found to be sat in the car a while on the driveway once home. The idea of a campus uni was definitely not for me. I don't mind a short commute but any commute helps with that change of state.
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ah, I sit in the car too sometimes! Safe bubbles aren’t they. Yes, physically moving from A to B really helps with the psychological transition
 
smolmaus said:
I get very Smeagol-y if I don't leave the house. Brings back all the feelings from the unemployed-and-flirting-with-alcoholism days so
if I wasn't going up to the yard on a Sunday just to muck out and groom a bit I don't know what kind of deep dark hole I would be in. I come back in the evening a different person to who left. I am really grateful that I was able to get the volunteer induction done 2 weeks before lockdown hit, talk about timing.

Yes, I should also give credit to my three wee hamster children. Hard to be completely down in the dumps when theres a rodent (or a cavy!) making an idiot of itself to cheer you up.
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Buying my first horse in adulthood totally saved me from alcohol dependence. Even though I don’t have one now, I still structure my life around getting up early and doing productive stuff.
 
Flicker said:
Buying my first horse in adulthood totally saved me from alcohol dependence. Even though I don’t have one now, I still structure my life around getting up early and doing productive stuff.
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You do what you need to do to break the cycle! You should be proud of yourself for noticing the problem and solving it. I moved back in with my mother so I definitely prefer your solution ?
 
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