How do you prepare for the inevitable...x 2?

[DragonSlayer]

Like many others, we tend to 'collect' our beasties and hang onto them!

We have 3 oldies all with various needs. My mare who I was 'hoping' would continue as a happy hacker seems unlikely to continue to do so. Even with medication, I can see her arthritis is now playing her up earlier than last year and the ground isn't yet as hard as it could be! We have been maintaining her condition for 4 years now (she is 19) and she is also starting to 'look old' if that makes sense. I am afraid that as the summer progresses, so will her pain...

The other old dude is the same age but with an entirely different issue. An anglo who moves like a dream but retired last year after investigation due to polyps up his nose that caused him great distress when ridden. Yes, we paid a lot of money for medication but it didn't make him completely comfortable so I then decided it just wasn't fair to keep on riding him. During high summer, even on his meds and Vaseline around his nostrils he was very uncomfortable in the field...but luckily summer passed and he has been feeling better.

Summer is on it's way, and the field next to us is oil seed rape, I'm dreading it being in full bloom because I know the poor boy will suffer again!

Surgery? Sure we could do that, but his age is against him and even then it's not guaranteed to work completely...

Tough choices to make.

I've been here before talking about horses being PTS so sorry, you will get it all again! I don't suppose it will ever get easier...

These two particular horses have taught me so much and I will miss them so much, I just don't want to see them suffer this year, last year was just manageable, this year will be painful....

 

[Merrymoles]

You've more or less answered your own question. Either option will be painful for you so it is down to which one you think is better for them.
Sorry if that doesn't sound sympathetic because I am. But there will be a time when you just know that you have to make the decision.
Sending cyber support

 

[Mince Pie]

Why will happen to the third horse? As MSM has said you've pretty much answered your own question though hugs hun ((()))

 

[Annagain]

I'm so sorry you're facing this. Once you've made that decision (and it sounds like you have) I think it's best to get on with it as quickly as possible to avoid prolonging the agony - for you and them. For them it's better to do it before they start suffering than wait until they are and for you the sooner it's over the sooner you can grieve and try to move on. A horrible decision, I don't envy you one bit.

 

[DragonSlayer]

3rd horse! sorry....he's doing just fine thank goodness and he's older than the other two!

 

[Exploding Chestnuts]

Do you think you could get a short/long term companion for the third one.
What were your plans before all these problems, can you pick up on them, or is it better to try a bit of a rest, as you will be stressed out.
It is possible to make a plan of organisation without booking anything. You can have things done the way you want, you don't have to be fitted in as would occur in an emergency.

 

[DragonSlayer]

It's OK regarding him having a companion as we have 3 other horses too...!

...like I said, we tend to gather them in....

We have the pony, my newest 8 year old and OH's other horse who is still ridden too.

Not being very clear am I? sorry all....

 

[texas]

When you know that you can't offer them a happy painfree existence to do as they want anymore, then you will know it's time. Better done before that day, if you know it will come. But don't plan too far in advance, the waiting is the worst bit. Done it myself a couple of weeks ago with an ems pony. I sobbed on the day (and those leading up! ) but don't regret it one bit. (((Hugs)))

 

[Switchthehorse]

i am almost at the opposite end to you in terms of position but have the similar challenge. I have a rising 3yo who i may never ride and who needs constant treatment, no one can tell me whether she will always need treatment, no one can tell me if i will ever ride her. She loves life and is full of beans, very happy, not scared of anything, and a seemingly happy and healthy horse, until you look at her dodgy leg!

Because of her dodgy leg she needs to be stabled overnight, and has done since the age of about 10 months, she is perfectly happy with this but it does mean i am paying £600 a month for a horse i pat and scratch occasionally.. and thats just the livery. I can afford it, but it strikes me as bonkers.

I wish someone could make a decision for me, if she is going to fix then she will be a stunning horse and amazing, i have only had her 2 years but because of all her problems i have such a strong bond with her.

Sometimes I think i should just do it so all this thinking would be over, but that changes the next minute. i am not sleeping much and on a real emotional roller coaster.

I feel for you, and if someone says anything that helps you please share with me too, as i am royally stuck

 

[MagicMelon]

During high summer, even on his meds and Vaseline around his nostrils he was very uncomfortable in the field...but luckily summer passed and he has been feeling better.

Summer is on it's way, and the field next to us is oil seed rape, I'm dreading it being in full bloom because I know the poor boy will suffer again!(

Would one of those fly masks with the nose bits help which sort of cover the nostrils? Think its an American company that do them, Cashel maybe.

I think with horses, they sort of tell you when they've had enough and thats the right time. I had to do my first putting to sleep of one of mine of about 18/20 years last month and it was dreadful but I knew I'd tried everything I could beforehand.

 

[Gingerwitch]

I really feel for you - its bad enough having to make the decision for one - let alone two. As others have said you already know what needs to be done - and all I can say is I hope it all goes as well as possible but please get yourself some support as managing two in the same day is going to be a tough tough call.

So sorry that you are in this positoin.

 

[DragonSlayer]

Would one of those fly masks with the nose bits help which sort of cover the nostrils? Think its an American company that do them, Cashel maybe.

I think with horses, they sort of tell you when they've had enough and thats the right time. I had to do my first putting to sleep of one of mine of about 18/20 years last month and it was dreadful but I knew I'd tried everything I could beforehand.

We've tried all those sorts of things, he just pulls them off! Drags his nose along the floor, stamps on it and pulls it off.....nutter.

 

[Gleeful Imp]

Oh I feel for you. It'll be 3 years this summer I was in the same position. My 2 were very bonded, it gave a lot of comfort to know they had gone together. My mares condition deteriorated badly very quickly, so the decision was literally upon me, but my boy could have gone on. He was retired due to severe arthritic changes and it would have broken his heart to have been pared from whisp, and the vet advised me to let them go together.
Nothing can prepare you, but there is strength from knowing you're doing the right thing. Won't stop the hurt, or the missing them, but it helps, it really does.
I'm so sorry you're facing this, I wish you well and strength through the sadness.

GI X

 

[flirtygerty]

I had this last year with my 20yr old arthritic WB mare, very uncomfortable on the sloping approach to the barn, already on bute, all the vet could suggest was upping her bute to 5 per day for a week, that is no quality of life, so the decision was made. At the same time I was gifted a TB I had previously owned, he was in poor condition, so I put him on linseed, course the others got some as well. My mare is now back hacking out, behaving like a 3yr old and loving life,
this year I have added tumeric to their diets and mine, I am comfortable, (arthritis) and the horses are all full of themselves and my 2 x 20yr olds are on no bute at all.
What have you got to lose, good luck, not a good place to be

 

[Pigeon]

It's so sad isn't it, when you just want them to enjoy their retirement! I know you will make the right decision. Someone on here said 'better a week too early than a day too late' and that really rang true for me.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

It's a horrible position to be in. We thought that we might have to pts our 'pink pair' who were 2 mares who had been together 20 yrs. The younger was so attached to the elder that, even though they lived in a settled herd, we thought that she wouldn't cope and that it would probably be better to send them both off together. In the event, the younger had a stroke and the elder lived another 2 years.
If yours are not inseparable, I think that you have to make the decision for them individually, according to their needs (as I'm sure you will) but it does sound as if they are both coming to the end. They are lucky to have an owner who is prepared to put their needs above her own. If only they could all live forever!