How do you talk yourself into doing something you've been avoiding?

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Roody2

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Summary of situation:
Horse: spooky but generally well behaved, but knows how to take over
Rider: sometimes nervous of spooky horse but gradually learning that getting the horse working properly = less spooks
Target: getting on with some dressage but also knowing horse has BSJA money, rider feels like they should probably have a go at jumping too
Main block to competing: when we get to a competition what will happen? The unknown seems to be my worst enemy, there are so many spooky things at my local dressage venue!!

Right, so I know a lot of you may read this and think - what a wuss, she should just get on with it and stop worrying!! Which is exactly what I say to myself!

BUT I just can't bring myself to book that dressage entry or ask if I can get on the lorry the next time another livery goes SJ.
I feel a bit sick just thinking about taking him out to a competition but the whole reason I have a horse is to compete and try to be successful, even in lower levels of dressage or SJ.
 
Can you pop him on the lorry if someone is going to a quiet show and just ride him round the working in for a bit? A friend of mine did that with her young horse once or twice, just to let him soak up the atmosphere without her feeling pressurised to perform. Might be a good way to start (but you will need to pick your venue carefully!
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Get someone else to take him out for the first time - watch and see how he goes, then if you are happy take him yourself. Or get that lift to the venue but don't ride - just get your horse there and walk him around to suss it all out, soak it all up. Its all part of his education. Start slow and work up at your own pace - nobody's gonna give you a prize for feeling nervous and sick and not enjoying it. Its about having fun - so pick your battles and don't over face yourself, and DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP!

I do understand your quandry - I've got a capable horse but I am a nervous wind bag about competing. I've just agreed to do a pairs HT at the end of March and am bricking it already. If it wasn't a comp I'd be fine. Perhaps the way forward it to go hors concours to take the pressure off?

Whatever you decide, good luck with it, and enjoy it!
 
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Can you pop him on the lorry if someone is going to a quiet show and just ride him round the working in for a bit? A friend of mine did that with her young horse once or twice, just to let him soak up the atmosphere without her feeling pressurised to perform. Might be a good way to start (but you will need to pick your venue carefully!
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that'll also build up your confidence and faith in your horse which will also improve your relationship and competing will be so much more fun for you!

I think its a very very good piece of advice
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Worth a try!
 
Ok, ,you can do it , I can already see that in your post. First thing is planning. Remember the six P,s Proper planning prevents P++s poor performance. Practice, get a friend involved,(even a non horsey friend is better than going it alone). Dont expect perfection on day one, and believe me, we have all made major cockups, no one else really remembers anyway.Set a target,an easy one ,and do it. For what its worth ,I think the only things we truely regret are the things we didnt do. So have a go.
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I agree, take him to a little local show and see what he is like. You don't even have to get on him, just walk him round. If he is fine, get on and do some warm-up fences. Then next time you could do maybe a clear round before you do anything serious.

You never know, you might be surprised. My boy was ridiculously spooky at home. When I was finally brave enough to go in the lorry to a local dressage comp, he was good as gold! He loved every minute of being out and about, and we're now enjoying regular RC stuff. I have learned from this that varying his work = less spooky.
 
Don't know if this helps but my younger 'spookier' horse is very laid back when out competing, perhaps because he has something to concentrate on?

Whereas my older 'sensible' one bucked me off twice at our first (and last) show..
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Hopefully your horse will surprise you and look after you
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Even if this isn't the case, if you do take your horse and just walk around get used to the surroundings, if he spooks the first time don't let it put you off and don't give up trying!
 
The only thing I can add to what has alrady been said, is that when you get to a venue, whether you plan to compete or not, once you're on get working your horse. You've said that he's better when you work him, so maybe make that a plan - go along, and then half and hour of hard work for him, can just be in walk and trot if that's what you want.

I am one to talk though, had my horse nearly 13 years and I've had one jumping lesson in that time, and haven't been over a coloured pole on him since then which was about nine years ago - and that lesson went well!
 
i think taking him to the shows when your not cometeing is the best idea....that way you cam eliminate your nerves from the situation and he can feel positive relaxed energy from you which is really important.
 
You might be pleasantly surprised when you do take him to a show - sometimes they really rise to the occasion! My very spooky and traffic-shy Arab at home turns into a sensible forward-going no-nonsense 'traffic? what traffic?' endurance horse when in competition.
 
Sending in an entry form doesn't commit you to competing.

If you find sending in the form is a big step then do it anyway while telling yourself you're not going to go. See how it feels and move on from there.

Equally, booking space on a lorry and even turning up at an event doesn't commit you to competing. Try it out, see how it feels.

Work up to sending in a few entries, getting there and doing the warm up. If you don't want to enter the arena you don't have to.

Practice helps; take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy the fact that you're present.
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