How do you tell your yard owner you are leaving?

Ben2684

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As title really!
Current yard is the best bunch of people I have liveried with in a while and I’ve been there three years.

Good bits:
Instructor on site
We all help each other out
Can pretty much do as you please
Homely and relaxed
Cheaper end of the scale

Bad bits
Dilapidated
No maintenance (unless you do it yourself)
Entrance lane is rutted to the point it’s damaging my car
Riding is good but limited and LOTS of roadwork
No agreement in place
School doesn’t flood, but fence is so rickety is borderline dangerous
I could actually go on... and on

The difficult thing is the YO has also turned into a friend of sorts, we have socials yard bbqs and we have recently been to a big birthday party of hers

I am starting to look around at other options and for not much more not much further away I could have a much better situation, better facilities, better riding etc .

However. I am terrified of hurting peoples feelings in terms of leaving, especially the YO. It’s making me a bit anxious about it all. I am on the waiting list now at my preferred yard which means I will give notice if a space comes up and I am actually quietly excited about moving there (possibly) but terrified of **the conversation**

How has anyone else in this situation or similar tackled this?
 

Ben2684

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I know but that sounds so simple, when I know she will take it so personally. We have been to comps/sponsored rides together and she has been so helpful in times of need. She held my old horse for me when I was unable to when he was PTS, supoorted me emotionally when I lost my parents etc. A LOT has happened in those three years that everyone at the yard has benn with me through and I feel like I am letting them down! (As ridiculous as that seems
 

silv

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Tell her the truth but also make sure you tell her how much you think of her as a friend and how you wish to remain friends and continue to ride together etc. Give her a really nice gift to say thanks for all the help and support she has given you.
 

alainax

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Bottle of wine, thank you card and hand them over in a pretty bag. Thank her for having you and advise of when you intend or leave ( with correct notice period).

You don’t actually need to explain yourself or give reasons. You can if you like, or you think the feedback will be gratefully received. Of course she might ask why, you could be vague saying it’s just time for me to move on, thank you and I wish you well etc or go into as much detail as you see fit at the time.
 

PoppyAnderson

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Been there, done that. It didn't go well but I'm now somewhere that suits me and horse far better. Just cling on to the thought of the better yard you're going to!
 

PeachesD113

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I would really agree that honesty is the best policy. Honesty being that you want better facilities to enjoy your horse and to achieve what you want to achieve. As a horse owner I’m sure they will be able to appreciate that. They may well be happy for example to just hack but presumably they have an inkling that you might want to do more? But as the relationship is so closely entwined, reiterating the fact that you see them not just as a YO but as a friend, a friend you value and want to keep in your life should help them understand your decision. Your decision isn’t a judgement on them but just on what’s best for you and further enjoying your horse.
 

Auslander

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If she's a good friend, she'll understand - even if she's a bit peeved at first.
One of my liveries, who was/is also a very good friend, left two years ago, because it was the right decision for her horse at the time. I was very upset, as I'd spent months nursing the horse through a life threatening bout of laminitis and I loved her, but I knew full well that my rich grazing was not what the mare needed, so I completely understood why they were going.
They came back a few weeks ago, and it's like they've never been away!
 

Red-1

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Tell the truth yes, but I would be specific that it was the hacking that I was moving before (which is the truth). The hacking is not personal, it just is.

It would be great if you could leave it so if it didn't work out in the new place that you could move back, also for the friendship/bbqs to continue.
 

Sussexbythesea

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Well I wouldn’t go into the whole truth as that’s just hurtful and you may wish to return if the grass doesn’t turn out to be greener on the other side of the fence.

As Red-1 says pick the things that you want such as good hacking rather than point out the things that your current Yard doesn’t have.

When I wrote out my notice for both the yards I’ve left I just said that I now needed different things. One was to move somewhere where I could have my choice of instructor and the other time it was to move closer to home. Both true but there were other reasons too that were less palatable. I thanked them for the time I’d had there and wished them well.

I wasn’t particularly friends with either so not quite as delicate but nobody turned nasty about it.
 

Abi90

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I recently moved yard and the YM is one of my good friends. Just said I needed to do what was right for me and the horse at the time. She’s wasn’t in the least bit upset and we’re still friends
 

[59668]

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I've literally just done this. Unfortunately she took it fairly badly at first and we had a very painful week or so but we came through it ok. It was so hard.
 

Toby_Zaphod

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Friend or not, they should be told the truth. They are running a business, it is easy to put a contract in place but they probably wouldn't want that because it would state what liveries are required to be responsible for & also what the YO is responsible for! It sounds like the YO is charging money for livery but is not putting any money back into the business. They have a responsibility for safety & a duty of care for the animals at their yard. If the fencing is poor quality & needs work, the buildings dilapidated & you stand a risk of damaging your car when you go down there due to poor driveway you need to point this out. If she decides she's not going to change anything then friend or not you need to find another place. You horse needs better!

Too many YOs rent a place, take money from liveries & do nothing to maintain the place "because they don't own it". That doesn't matter the responsibilities remain the same. Vote with your feet & move.
 

Ben2684

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Friend or not, they should be told the truth. They are running a business, it is easy to put a contract in place but they probably wouldn't want that because it would state what liveries are required to be responsible for & also what the YO is responsible for! It sounds like the YO is charging money for livery but is not putting any money back into the business. They have a responsibility for safety & a duty of care for the animals at their yard. If the fencing is poor quality & needs work, the buildings dilapidated & you stand a risk of damaging your car when you go down there due to poor driveway you need to point this out. If she decides she's not going to change anything then friend or not you need to find another place. You horse needs better!

Too many YOs rent a place, take money from liveries & do nothing to maintain the place "because they don't own it". That doesn't matter the responsibilities remain the same. Vote with your feet & move.

Unfortunately she owns it!
I’ve told the girl I share a field with that I’m on a waiting list elsewhere as I sort her horse in the evenings for her due to her baby, she took it well, just waiting for YO to return from holiday now and I shall just have to bite the bullet and be honest, in a nice way
I’m just dreading it and already dreading the month after I give notice but in the grand scheme of things I guess I know it’s best for my horse (and me!) and will just have to keep that in mind. Thanks all for your replies I will keep you updated!

Ben
 

ester

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I don't see why you have to expand much on a 'reason'. Just give notice in writing and if she asks why say you're going somewhere that suits your situation better. They can't be unaware of the state of the yard so no point telling them aboutit.
 

exracehorse

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When I told my witch of a yard owner that I was leaving after 4 years, she padlocked the gate and wouldn’t allow me access to my horse until I’d handed over 100 pounds !
 

BlackRider

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I hate giving notice, and its hard when you are all friends.

I tend to be honest to a point - i.e. about things I know aren't an option, like I need more turnout (and know the current set up can't accommodate), and try and give non-emotional reasons. If the notice period has been amicable then I leave a bottle of wine / chocolates. I try very hard never to burn bridges.
 

holeymoley

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Sounds like my problem the other week! Is there anything you can 'use' as an excuse without putting the place down? For me I used the turnout in that he was only getting an hour or so a day and I needed more. Itball went well :)
 

mytwofriends

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My friend and I gave a month’s notice to our ‘friend’ who was YO. We told the absolute truth and all seemed to go well. We discussed still meeting up, riding together etc. She appeared totally ok.

Next morning we were greeted by her enraged red-faced father, accusing us of stealing, treating his daughter like dirt, our horses were ‘the ones’ who’d trashed all the paddocks etc etc. It was scary. We left that day.

It transpired that no-one dared give notice at that yard for that reason. Would have been nice to have known that first.

Good luck, I’m sure you’ll be fine, but YO’s can be odd.
 

rifruffian

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It's easy to tell the yard owner; but the consequences to the yard owner may be severe.

Example........my yard owner raised prices; was unaffordable to me, I gave notice to end livery for my two horses.....on the face of it, no problem BUT........the immediate loss of 2 liveries meant the YO did not, for the time being anyway, derive any addition to gross livery income because two had immediately terminated.

Sometimes it just cannot be sweetness and light.
 

Pearlsasinger

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Unfortunately she owns it!
I’ve told the girl I share a field with that I’m on a waiting list elsewhere as I sort her horse in the evenings for her due to her baby, she took it well, just waiting for YO to return from holiday now and I shall just have to bite the bullet and be honest, in a nice way
I’m just dreading it and already dreading the month after I give notice but in the grand scheme of things I guess I know it’s best for my horse (and me!) and will just have to keep that in mind. Thanks all for your replies I will keep you updated!

Ben

My advice is to make sure that you know that you have a place at the new yard before you tell YO, or you could find yourself with nowhere to put your horse. It should be straightforward to move yards but unfortunately it isn't always.
 

DirectorFury

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My advice is to make sure that you know that you have a place at the new yard before you tell YO, or you could find yourself with nowhere to put your horse. It should be straightforward to move yards but unfortunately it isn't always.

Agreed.

Have any other liveries left while you've been there? How has that been handled? If badly with a lot of drama...well, leopards, spots, etc.
 

Ben2684

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Oh okay, I was going to be open and honest and tell them that I was on a waiting list elsewhere as soon as she is back from holiday... should I wait u Tim a space comes up then?

Two or three have left in the time that I have been there and it hasn’t been much of an issue, however (and this is my own doing) I have become more ‘involved’ at my current yard than they had been. But good point, wouldn’t want to end up in a situation where I have nowhere else to go
 

ester

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I certainly wouldn't tell them you are on a waiting list! That is a recipe for extended animosity, it could be ages until a space comes up. If you just give a months notice then at least if there is any it is time limited.
 

mytwofriends

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Oh okay, I was going to be open and honest and tell them that I was on a waiting list elsewhere as soon as she is back from holiday... should I wait u Tim a space comes up then?

Two or three have left in the time that I have been there and it hasn’t been much of an issue, however (and this is my own doing) I have become more ‘involved’ at my current yard than they had been. But good point, wouldn’t want to end up in a situation where I have nowhere else to go
Absolutely say nothing until you have a definite space.
 

DabDab

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Yes, I agree, definitely say nothing until you have a space

I've only actually stayed out my notice period once (well, that one I actually overstayed by 2 months :eek:). Once I've made a decision to to move I like to just get on with it. And there's still a couple of ex livery yard owners that I'm still in touch with :)

I would be truthful, but not hurtful truthful and just see how it goes. You can't control her reaction, and she may be a little hurt, but if she's a good friend then she'll come round
 

mums the groom

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Don't give notice until your stable at the new yard is available from that day and set up for you twice I have given my notice on a Friday to be told I have 24 hours to leave the yard so in my opinion most yard owners are completely nuts and get really angry if you want to leave. If you have chance start to pack up and take home stuff you don't need daily summer rugs in winter etc it's makes it much easier to move at short notice
 
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