How does everyone do it? Moany vent

[throwaway2022]

I’m ill again, I’ve been like this on and off for months and can only assume it’s from being run down. Life is hectic and I don’t have a minute, I’m a student nurse so when I’m based in uni it’s not too bad but whilst on placement I’m either working 3x long days at 7:30-20:00 or 9-5. Currently life looks like me getting up at 5:30 and being on the go until 8/9pm by which point I’m only fit for bed.

I eat pretty well, exercise when possible, try to prioritise sleep. The obvious answer would be to put the ponies on part/full but finances aren’t allowing that right now.

I’ve already cut down on non essentials but between being a single mother of three, mature student, self employed, ponies, dogs I’m heading towards burnout.

Last weekend was busy and my daughter has a show on Sunday as well as it being my son’s birthday so the entire weekend will be flat out. Life will ease up in a couple of weeks when this placement finishes.

No real point to the post sorry, just needed to vent to people who actually understand! Friends are great but don’t get how time consuming and labour intensive the horses are.

 

[holeymoley]

I feel for you. Is there any way with the better weather coming they can go on to grass livery and maybe just bring them in when you need to?

 

[lynz88]

I've given up a few friends and bfs who don't understand the horsey thing....mine is on part livery but it still isn't a case of showing up for an hour and then going home (especially as he requires a certain management and prefer to work him at certain times as a result). 1 ex friend used to get quite upset with me because I was "not around spontaneously".

By reading this, I'm not sure how you are managing tbh!! I will fully admit that I can barely manage with 1 horse, no kids, a FT job, a house to work on, and an OH (who I sometimes think doesn't understand my racing around)

 

[dorsetladette]

Sounds exactly like me a few years back.

Life is still pretty full on but mentally I'm dealing with things better now. I'm peri-menopausal so take a supplement to help with that and a multi vitamin too.

Can you put ponies on grass livery? maybe get a sharer? I know this takes more energy to organise and sometimes it feels like its easier to just plough on but nothing will change unless you change it.

Can the kids help out a bit? not sure how old they are, but if old enough could they be in charge of dinner 1 night (beans on toast or pizza for example) - something simple they can read instruction to make and be proud of themselves for doing. Could they walk the dog?

sorry above might not be helpful, but you will not be any good to anyone if you do burn out.

Take care of yourself - your important too!

 

[Pearlsasinger]

It does take some organising but could you make a rule that the family only does one 'special' thing each weekend, so if it's someone's birthday or other special occasion, everything stops for that? And definitely get the children involved as much as possible in cooking/cleaning/ stable chores.

 

[irishdraft]

I don't know how you manage all that, I certainly couldn't. My friends daughter has just qualified as a nurse and found it full on and she's in her early twenties with no responsibilities. No suggestions I'm afraid apart from ponies at grass & child labour x

 

[BackintheSaddle1983]

My sympathies. I am a single parent and a third year midwifery student.

I am currently trying to prepare for a viva, write my dissertation and apply for and interview for jobs. My past 9 weeks of placement start beginning of June and whilst the end is in sight, in seems like an incredibly high mountain to climb.

I’m just backing my pony at the minute and thankfully she has been quiet easy so I am enjoying it and it takes away from my stress for a short time.

Keep going, you can do it x

 

[pistolpete]

Wow you are super busy. Yep we all get it and if you rummage around on this forum there are dozens of time saving horsey hacks and hints. Good luck with your studies. It will be worth it.

 

[scats]

You sound very busy indeed. Will things settle a little when you have qualified?
When I was doing my PGCE, it was one of the most chaotic periods of my life. I had 2 horses on DIY, school placements up to an hour away from home, uni assignments coming thick and fast, plus planning and marking… and I’d recently got a puppy. I’d be riding at 8pm some nights to try and keep horses worked. I managed it because I knew it was temporary, but it was hard work and I was relieved to finish that year.

 

[Patterdale]

What year are you in?

Once you qualify it is SO much better. Keep going, it will be worth it!

 

[SO1]

That sounds exhausting.

I would also suggest no shows for the kids whilst you are on placement and just cutting down to essential activities. I know people want to give their kids amazing lives but sometimes you have to prioritise yourself and your well being and having enough rest. If you can't afford help with horses can you afford to get some help with childcare, could they go to grandparents or dad if they are still around occasionally at weekends so you can rest?

You don't want to be so burnt-out you end up failing your course. I think you have to prioritise having enough energy to pass your course once you get through it.

If you need a temporarily energy boost try Science in Sport Gel.

 

[Midlifecrisis]

I’m with Patterdale..you ll get through this patch and it ll be very worthwhile and secure your future so hang on in there.

 

[Bobthecob15]

Wow I am in awe of you!! Placements are so consuming let alone with kids…and horses!!!! Good on you!

It gets better, once qualified you can focus on the day job and not have to worry so much about all the other stuff that goes with placement. It’s a lot easier, I work in healthcare education and it does calm down a lot once you are qualified.

Keep going, you are doing an amazing job!!

 

[paddi22]

cut down on the kids stuff, the posters idea of 'one kid event a weekend' is a great one. when we were kids our parents weekends never revolved around our social activities and we grew up fine! the science shows that kids also need boring downtime at weekend to unwind and that the current system of kids constantly on the go is burning them out. so don't feel guilty about it. you are going through an amazingly busy stressful time and your focus needs to be on your goal at the minute. literally cut out everything else you can till its done.

 

[throwaway2022]

In true fashion, I haven’t had a minute to reply yet. I’ll have a proper read through the comments and get back properly this evening, hopefully. Thanks everyone, it helps to know I’m not alone in this. Although I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else