How have you felt when you've sold?

hnmisty

hnmisty

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 March 2013
Messages
2,561
Location
Sheffield
Visit site
I have sold Barry to a lady who seems very nice and who has said I am welcome to go visit him in his new home :)

I'm now thinking- is it the right thing to do? I think this is just typical indecisive me (not helped by the fact she has asked me to look after him for a couple of weeks until she can collect him and now he's always looking mega sweet).

However, as it stands, I've never felt 100% happy on him hacking, absolutely nothing he has ever done, but I feel a very long way up and a bit vulnerable. I have ridden enough things his size and bigger (a high withered 16.1) but not usually hacked him. He is good to hack on his own, but I had my solo hacking confidence knocked by the loan pony I had before him, and I've only taken him out a couple of times on my own and been nervous. I'm happier in the school on him, but now I realise how much I miss just getting on and going out for hacks by myself. I think I would also struggle to get back on if I had to get off during a hack, I am only 5'1" so he really is a long way up.

My boyfriend (who can ride) doesn't understand and says he is totally safe. I KNOW he is, he's never done anything nasty with me. But it's me who is up there, and I just don't feel happy. I used to ride all over the place with my old girl, with him I am relieved that we have made it back from a hack without incident (even though we've only had one incident, and he dealt very well with it).

It would be a lot easier if he wasn't so lovely to handle on the ground!

I am used to pony mentalities, and I would like to go to shows but I think his level of excitement would just be too much for me. His old owner was very confident and did lots with him, I have never had that level of confidence and certainly don't now. He doesn't do anything to knock it, I think he is just an equal partner and I need something to reassure me!

I am also thinking what if this lady isn't nice? I met her, and she knew her way around horses, and from what she's said she has a very nice set up with lots of land and he'll have a new friend. I've never sold before, is this normal?!

Thank you to anyone who has made it through this confused jumbling. I think what I'm after is people to say "yes, you're doing the right thing, and yes she'll take good care of him", so if you can say that I can offer an empty lunch box :)
 
I sold my first pony in the spring who I'd owned for 5 years. It was the worst decision I've ever made, I miss her so much and still regularly get upset when I walk down the yard and she's not there :(
 
yes, you're doing the right thing, and yes she'll take good care of him :p

If you're not happy, then it's absolutely the right thing to do. Horses take up far to much time and money for us not to enjoy them. Good luck over the next couple of weeks xx
 
I think you have made the right decision.

A very nice lady at my yard had a lovely big horse. He was very quiet and gentle and while young, was fairly honest and had a good attitude to his work. However she never felt safe on him, no matter what she tried. I rode him regularly and never had any problems with him.

It was quite difficult to understand why she felt he was so problematic (she is much more experienced than I!) but I could realise that it was simply her feeling about the horse, who she simply could not trust, and so sold him on and bought herself a new horse. Her new boy is quite different; more forward going and definitely much greener. The lady in question however feels much safer on her new boy and is confident she definitely did make the right decision.

Try not to worry about the 'what ifs' of selling. Trust your instincts. The majority of people who have horses do care for them well and give them a good life. Take her up on her offer to go and see him when you feel ready to do so - I suspect she has nothing to hide, having invited you up.
 
Ive only ever sold 2. 1st time i cried my eyes out when he left and buyer had to give me a hug and promiced to take care of him, then i was ok because i knew 100% i had no choice and it was best all round.
2nd time i managed not to cry but everyday without fail i know i made a huge mistake selling the best pony ever :( she is in a fab permanent home but kind of makes it worse that i cant buy her back. Gutted.

I think what your feeling is totally normal
 
yes, you have done the right thing for you and for your horse :-)

I had to sell one of my horses when I was younger because I didn't feel completely safe on him. he had his issues and I was scared of him but when I tried to sell him with someone else riding him, people were suspicious and wouldn't buy him so I had to learn to ride him in order to sell him. we did bond a bit over those few months but I still didn't feel right on him. when I did sell him to a lovely home, I delivered him myself to see where he was staying and even shed a tear at leaving him behind but it was the best thing for the both of us. I then went on to buy my horse of a lifetime and my old horse had a fantastic new home. the same will be for you, i'm sure. Good Luck x :-)
 
The first I sold was due to me giving up work to nurse my dad through a serious illness. I had to sell him and it broke my heart. Luckily the new owner lives nearby and years later I still get offers to visit and she updates me but I cant see him as Id be too upset.

The second I sold was a relief. I really liked the mare, she was pretty and did well in shows but we just didn't click. I shed a few tears during the selling process, but on the day she was collected I was absolutely fine. I had already bought my new boy who was her replacement so maybe that helped?

It is very difficult as they are a big part of our lives. You are making the right decision though OP.
 
Aw mud^3, that is very sad.

Thanks JenJ.

Sheep- thank you very much for that, it's really helped me to know of someone else who has been in my situation. The same as you, my bf rode him and said he knew he wasn't going to do anything nasty (even though he rides like a sack of potatoes and Barry is very light mouthed). I just don't feel happy up there. I'm having to make myself ride, I used to love riding but now it seems any excuse not to will suffice.

I think the main issue now is having him for a couple of weeks- enough time to think "oh, he's looking so cute".

I think once he's gone and I've had a couple of photos of him looking happy in his new field I will feel a lot happier. And then once I get something a bit smaller that I feel safe on I will be even happier.

I don't usually wallow in such self pity, honest! :p

ETA: and thank you everyone else who replied whilst I was typing this reply! I am sorry to read that so many of you had to part with your beloved horses against your will :(

HaffyChristmas- I think that's it. He does what I ask in the school very nicely, but I just don't have the guts to take him out for a lung opener with others. I'd rather do it on my own (ex racer, I think he would go back into racing mode and try to get past everyone)...but I'm not happy taking him out on his own. We've had some canters on a path in a line one behind the other, but I don't have the guts to go for it in an open space. I used to fire my old girl (or rather, she used to take off with me) at every opportunity but I always felt 110% safe.
 
Last edited:
generally 3 reactions when people sell horses
1) Relief if you really didn't like the horse.
2) Great sadness if you are having to sell your friend, perfect horse and soul mate for reasons beyond your control (finances, out grown etc).
3) Confusion. This comes about when your head says its the right thing to do but your heart just wont agree with your head. This condition normally last until new horse is found.
I would say you fit in No 3 and yes it does sound like you are doing the right thing.
 
PaddyMonty said:
3) Confusion. This comes about when your head says its the right thing to do but your heart just wont agree with your head. This condition normally last until new horse is found.
I would say you fit in No 3 and yes it does sound like you are doing the right thing.
Click to expand...

That's definitely me. Maybe with a lot of time and lessons I would feel much happier on him. However, I've waited 7 or so years to get this horse, and I want to have fun. Now. And I know someone else could have fun with him. Now. I have the niggling doubt that I should keep trying for longer, but see previous statement! My heart says he is a lovely, kind horse, which he is. He really is. But he's just not the one for me, and my head knows that.

Now I know he's going, I'd just like it to be a couple of weeks later now, instead of waiting.

There's one I think I will phone up about tonight though...

(If anyone knows of any sane 14-15hh for sale, not ploddy, let me know. So blatantly going to end up with a 17.2hh 4y/o :p)
 
I've only ever sold horses that I haven't got on with so when they've gone I've always felt relieved! I've always ensured they've gone to good homes and felt that they have been better matched to the new owners so I've never felt guilty.
If you haven't felt 100% about this horse then you're better off selling him and getting something you can have more fun on. The new owner sounds fine and they'll probably make a much better partnership which leaves you free to get something more suited to you.
Good luck in getting a new horse, there will be one out there for you!
 
Well, I used to sell horses for a living so I'm not going to be much use in the sympathetic department, but let it be said that horses are bought and sold every day, most of them to people just like you (i.e. presumably nice). Horses are just as individual as husbands; not every one suits everyone, so go find one that suits you better (horse I mean, not necessarily husband........)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top