how high cn yer horsie jump then?

Right, roll up, roll up, who needs a sense of humour implant, who needs an irony bypass, and who should have been in bed a long time ago/or outside drinking cider and snogging boys in the bushes like a normal teenager?
 
Weezy said:
My horse can jump REALLY high....I know it was naughty of us, but we couldn't help but have a go :D :D :D

showjumper01.jpg
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Wow - impressive ... but is it my eyesight or is there also a small monkey sitting on your shoulders?? If so - cute!

Next time try and jump higher so you land on the top of that hill silly!
 
You ALL have it wrong...

To make your horses jump higher, you just zap 'em with a cattle prod, either that, or a tazer works, though you don't want to be underneath when your ned falls on your head...

I often find that baler twine works well as a bit when your ned is being a tad strong, and any old saddle you lay your hands on will work perfectly ok, I mean.....didn't you ever borrow a mates pair of shoes to go out in? just nick a random saddle from the yard tackroom, no-one will ever know...

We don't use shoes on our horses, we flatten coke cans, cut them up and then attach the can with 6 inch fence nails....works a treat....

~Here endeth an attempt to be funny by Dragonslayer, who was forced to camp out with a bunch of skool kids last night as son wanted to go and parent had to be in attendance, then they woke me up at 4.30 am, so forgive me if my humour ain't what it usually is....Live long and prosper! :D~
 
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Ruthnmeg said:
Oh yep, for sure. You see when the horsey bends its leg, the tied one has to bend too - so both leggys bend together clearing the jumpy. Same applies to the back legs. Its similar to the three legged race at sports day!
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And if you wrap some barbed wire underneath the bandages horsie will never touch another pole again!

Great post everyone, really cheered me up!
 
CaveCanem said:
Right, roll up, roll up, who needs a sense of humour implant, who needs an irony bypass, and who should have been in bed a long time ago/or outside drinking cider and snogging boys in the bushes like a normal teenager?
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Oh my, I didn't know Anne Robinson was on here!:D

PMSL at this thread: hilarious!
 
Havent read the entire thread, so someone else may already use my idea.

I carry about a small trampoline. My horse can jump WAY higher when she uses it.
I also make sure she is doped as this makes her think she can fly.

Who on earth doesnt ride their horse just cos its lame?
Never heard such madness
 
LeneHorse said:
mines can jump 1.30 but were only doing 80 atm as shes a bit lame :( so i dont want to push her you no what i mean also she gets a bit strong going into the fence should i get a new briddle what do yous think??? Ps she gets a big bucket of competition mix as shes a sj should i feed her more 2 give her energy???
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SURELY a lame horse should not be jumping at all!!
 
Golly gosh, some reeeeallyyyyy great ideas on here to make horsies jump higher. I am going to attach baler twine from my horsie's bit to his front ankles so he can only lift his head wen he is jumpin- that will make him want to jump more see? Mine is a showjumper too, I won a class the other day when he had to jump big jumps- they wasn't just boring straight across jumps they wer like two poles crossed over an that.

He can jump much hire anyway, he jumped that jump that weezy is jumpin with one leg tied behind his back (as my trainer told me it would be gud) with me, a gorilla and a telegraph pole sat on his back. Innit.
 
Forgot to mention, always make sure you have a bin liner over your nags head when jumping, makes them jump really really high.

I like the idea of the gorilla. Where did you get it from farrierlover?

Would an orangutang work the same if I cant get a gorilla?
 
oooo puuting barb wirer on your horses bit will make him fly also like the others said but it on his boots :)
also if hes not THAT lame just jump him higher again im sure he wont mind it will probaly do him sooo much goood :) and jump everyday coz all 'good' showjumpers do that coz it helps there joints LOADS

LMAO people you make me laugh oooo i see the monkey ;)
 
guido16 said:
Forgot to mention, always make sure you have a bin liner over your nags head when jumping, makes them jump really really high.

I like the idea of the gorilla. Where did you get it from farrierlover?

Would an orangutang work the same if I cant get a gorilla?
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Dur, of course an orangutang wouldn't work the same- I ordered mine online but I ain't tellin you where as it's only for special showjumpers like I am an that.

You cud always ask your intsurctar who i'm sure you have as all proper ones do. Although I doubt you'd be good enuff coz I am rather wonderful. Innit.
 
I've been practising jumpy jumpy today. I've done all of the methods on here - it took 5 hours of constant jumping - you would be so impressed. We jumpied 6ft 6. I think we can go higher if my monkey-on-order arrives. Watch this space. ;)


LOL - this thread is hilarious, best one in a long time. :)
 
Farrierlover said:
Dur, of course an orangutang wouldn't work the same- I ordered mine online but I ain't tellin you where as it's only for special showjumpers like I am an that.

You cud always ask your intsurctar who i'm sure you have as all proper ones do. Although I doubt you'd be good enuff coz I am rather wonderful. Innit.
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Cn I be yr HHO friend? Us proper showjumpers should sticktogether like. Go on how high cn yours jump? PS What size spurs do u use? Mines are mega big!
 
I am ashamed to say that I thought that this was a serious poster, I now realise my mistake and it was a wind up. I am sorry for my rather crusty reply last night! Fogive me, but it was late!!!!!! How embarrassing.
 
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