How honest are you with your husband/partner with what you spend

even though I'm early 20s I still sponge off my dad :o but it's kinda the same?!..maybe haha! but i mislead him all the time. my mum is the one that encourages it though! ;)

my boyfriend has an idea of how much it all costs but he's not the one paying so he doesn't really care. he does think it's obscene though, but then he thinks the same about the cost of highlighting my hair/clothes/shoes/jewellery... :)
 
You lot are quite tame with the expenses you hide - I know of at least two wives who have bought new horses and not told the husband. One even managed to keep her equine purchase a secret for over a year!
 
My hubby and I have 2 accounts each, 1 joint account for bills, food shopping etc and our own separate "spending accounts". As we both work and have no children, it means that I can buy a rug etc for my horse without having to ask for permission. At the end of the day why should he work his arse off to pay £80 for my horse to be shod every 6 weeks. He can then spend money in his motorbike without me funding it
 
My OH knows how much the big bills are, but I sometimes 'gloss over' how much I've spent on a nice new (but not strictly necessary) numnah, pair of jodhs etc! ;) I pay for everything myself, though and he thinks it is worth it anyway. He reckons it is good value for all the fun, fresh air, exercise etc!!

(he does buy the odd bag of carrots, though! :D)
 
I will have been married for 32 years come this october and have owner one or more horses (maximum 3 at anyone time) for 31 years of this. So to answer the question - do you think I would have been married this long if he knew how much they all cost!

But he is a big softy really because when my first horse was retired he did say that as we had owned him from a foal regardless of cost we were in it to the end. And he just shrugged shoulders when we bought back daughters horse because we couldn't bear for him to go to someone we didn't know.

Just make sure other half has equally time consuming hobby and then lie
 
hehe love this thread!

I recently bought another pony and OH thinks its on loan! :D

He thinks that two ponies on diy is £30 per week if he knew the truth i doubt he would be so happy!

Recently all my new purchases that I get online have arrived and he's been asking questions..... I told him they're for someone at the yard and they dont have the internet ;)
 
I have the management of all the finances in our household and have done for all our married life 43 years!!!
He shoots and I encourage him I have horses and he encourages me!!!!
So no he does not know how much I spend but if he wants a new gun or cartridges or what ever I sort it out.
So all are happy.
 
Just thinking that I must hide the new horse rug that arrived today - well it was a bargain!
 
See I think it's all about managing the money... I have joint accounts and couldn't afford my horses if it wasn't for my husband so have to be upfront about it. The way I do it is to have an allowance each month (like a kitty) all year round that's enough to cover essentials. Then over summer when they are out 24/7 I use the spare cash to get the extra bigger stuff like rugs washed, new ones ordered, rubber matting, back checked, teeth done etc. Then each month the outgoing is the same and never a surprise to him!!

He does moan but then when I say I will sell up then (just to call his bluff!) he says its nice for me to have my own thing, bless :)
 
scarymare said:
hahahahahahahh - you're joking right?
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Why would she be joking?

When you make a commitment to someone, isn't there meant to be some level of trust?

My husband would be devastated if he knew I was lying about what I spent, or hid things from him I bought..it turns everything you are meant to stand for as a couple into a mockery.

If you find it ok to lie to your OH, then go ahead, but don't laugh at someone who is valuing their relationship, like I do mine. If you don't see it as valuing, then you carry on with it....but drop the mocking.
 
LMAO:D this post is fab, esp those who bought horses and pretended they where on loan:D:D

I never have to lie re anything, possibly because im the boss here:D and OH is currently encouraging me to buy a new horse and wanting to build me a stable, and he is non horsey, although If I got one he would help take care of it. He is not the type to go mad about anything really.
Neither odd us spend stupid amounts on stuff but can buy what we like when we need too.
We both spend what we like, we have a savings accounts and a bills account (paid with my wages) I work 2 nights a week aswell as our business at home our business money is ours to spend as we like and the rest is saved.
 
I had a friend a school (i wont say any names just incase) and she was one of 3 sisters. They each had a pony as did Mum. Dad thought:
Mum had a horse on loan, eldest daughter had a pony but she had to share with her sisters... Dad used to watch them compete from time to time, and although he may occasionally ask "which one is that again?" he never seemed to ask why it had changed colour/shape since last time.....
When ever I went to stay at their house, I was always reminded about what i was or wasn't supposed to say about the ponies.... it was a long running thing, and now at over 30 I am not sure Dad ever found out the truth. I guess he figured ponies were very very very expensive!! LOL
 
Totally honest here aswell. No need to lie, OH is very generous so I am lucky I can have whatever I want. If anything I rein in my spending, he offered me a whole new set of tack of one of my horses and I knocked him back. I dont spend for the sake of it.
 
I joke about not telling D, but I do tell him. Would hate to lie, even by omission.

He probably knows roughly what I spend. Never comments really - I might get the odd eye-roll (dentist is £140 next week for the four of them), and farrier has just been to the four of them, and vet is due to see two of them on Friday, but such is life :cool:
 
DragonSlayer said:
Why would she be joking?

When you make a commitment to someone, isn't there meant to be some level of trust?

My husband would be devastated if he knew I was lying about what I spent, or hid things from him I bought..it turns everything you are meant to stand for as a couple into a mockery.

If you find it ok to lie to your OH, then go ahead, but don't laugh at someone who is valuing their relationship, like I do mine. If you don't see it as valuing, then you carry on with it....but drop the mocking.
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Ditto DS.
 
LOL - this thread is so funny!

WE pay for my livery and some little things like little shops in Countywide ect. I dont tell him how much it costs but he is not stupid and if he asks then I tell him the truth.

I have a second job which pays for shoes and anything else I want and it means that I have to save as not only do I have to pay for my hay and straw and food but any extras (so rugs ect) have to come out of this money.

If he wants to go fishing or buy fishing stuff (which is JUST as expensive as the horsey stuff) he works over time... AND he is the same about the fishing stuff - he does not tell me but if I ask he does not lie.

With regards to BIG spends we discuss it and then come to an agreement. He manages our finances so he knows what we can afford and when.... Simples :-)

I agree about the comments about why lie...? If you lie there is no trust and without trust there is no relationship... :-(
 
I try not to discuss the horse expenses with my partner because he is very very very very very cautious when it comes to money. However, to see me happy he said he was willing to give up his golf membership for me. He loves his golf. He is just wonderful so why upset him by telling him ;)
 
Horses24-7 said:
See I think it's all about managing the money... I have joint accounts and couldn't afford my horses if it wasn't for my husband so have to be upfront about it. The way I do it is to have an allowance each month (like a kitty) all year round that's enough to cover essentials. Then over summer when they are out 24/7 I use the spare cash to get the extra bigger stuff like rugs washed, new ones ordered, rubber matting, back checked, teeth done etc. Then each month the outgoing is the same and never a surprise to him!!
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What a super way of working it all out. I am actually going to have a chat about this method with my partner because FINGERS CROSSED I will have a reason to start budgeting as of this Saturday :) :)
 
Same as a few on here, partner is non horsey but he does come to the yard alot and sometimes to shows and I just dont tell him the cost of everything, he knows how much livery and food/farrier is but heres an example - We were at a schooling day recently and he came along with the puppies. my friend asked "how much was your stubben bridle as I'm thinking about getting another one" and without thinking I said it was about £120. He stood there with his mouth open like a stranded goldfish and said something like "thats bloody ridiculous" and I replied "its not half as expensive as all that fishing crap you dont use or the £500 motorbike helmet, or the spare motorbike in the garage that hasnt been ridden this year or the extremely expensive collection of spanish steel hunting knives collecting dust in the cupboard". He spent the rest of the day in the huff but if I said £50, he probably would'nt have said anything.
 
He knows horses cost a fortune, being from a horsey family but not being horsey himself. However as long as I pay my half of the bills, it is none of his beeswax what I spend my hard earned wages on! I wouldn't lie to him though, and he did buy me a bridle for Christmas :)
 
I'm
another one who's partner encourages her to spend more!!
I am naturally cautious and manage the finances, and might say, I think I ought not yo compete this month, and he will tell me to sod it and enter online!!
I always say how much it costs. As long as my half of the bills is covered, it doesn't matter. He doesn't begrudge me my hobby and I don't begrudge him his! After all, he smokes and I don't, he has a clothes and hair cut habit and I don't!!
 
My hubby is very, very non-horsey and is convinced that keeping mine costs at least 5 times what I tell him! He watched a tv programme a while ago about a family sorting out their finances. One family member had a horse and they had to list every cost. They had full livery at about £140 a week, shoes £90 every 6 weeks and spent just under £200 a month competing.
My livery is £20 a week and, even in the darkest depths of winter, wouldn't even come close to spending £20 a week on feed and bedding. I'm not competitive really, look after my tack, rugs etc, and couldn't give a hoot about what's 'on trend' in the horsey scene. My slight 'extravegance' is the farrier, ours is superb but costs £10 - £15 more than other farriers here.
So, when I say, quite truthfully, I've spent, say, £30 on a big, round, bale of hay that lasts 6 weeks, he thinks I'm scrimping as he honestly believes the average is around £80!
 
Love this thread!

Don't ever lie to OH as we have joint account but when I was young my Mum used to have a very good way of hiding a few costs.

A local feedshop to us had a strange name that would appear on the credit card bill (she got an allowance and the card was for urgent/extras) so she told him it was a bra shop and I was a young growing girl so yes I did need new ones all throughout my teenage years! He was so embarrassed talking about bras he never questioned it again :0)
 
derynw said:
I will have been married for 32 years come this october and have owner one or more horses (maximum 3 at anyone time) for 31 years of this. So to answer the question - do you think I would have been married this long if he knew how much they all cost!

But he is a big softy really because when my first horse was retired he did say that as we had owned him from a foal regardless of cost we were in it to the end. And he just shrugged shoulders when we bought back daughters horse because we couldn't bear for him to go to someone we didn't know.

Just make sure other half has equally time consuming hobby and then lie
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AGREED - MY OH really does know what they cost - as I work in business with him and he is my only source of income, I put some of the expenses on his credit cards, he has bought the last 3 ponies for the kids (complaining like mad), and some of the saddles, he pays me an annual allowance, and covers vet bills I can't (at least I put them on his card), but he endeavours to get the money back off me. He wanted to see my budget for the next year (and actuals for the last year) before he paid me this years allowance, but I still dont tell him everything. (I had another card and my mum gave me some money).

He pays the mortgage on the property we bought for them, so he is well aware what that costs.

My OH has an expensive hobby too, at least as far as I can tell (and am not that interested) he spends about a $1 000 AUD a month. He says he is trying to catch up to me.

We have been to counselling a few times in our married life, (18 years), and his main complaint is horses, the less he knows the better, but he is far from stupid, so can work it out for himself
 
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