How important is the support/interest of your OH to you?

D

DiamondSR

Well-Known Member
Joined
14 August 2008
Messages
263
Location
Surrey
Visit site
As title says really. My husband is tolerant of my horsey interests, but not overly enthusiastic. I know he can't understand why I would want to spend so much time/money on my horse, and he's not really interested in discussing anything horse related in any great detail! This doesn't bother me particularly, I have plenty of horsey friends to bounce ideas off, and my mum is still really interested and enjoys coming to see me at shows etc.

Just interested to hear other people's opinions! (Hope I'm not going to open a can of worms here!!)
tongue.gif
 
TBH...if he were more interested it would irritate me...he has a horse, but she's more of a big dog pet...he rides (after a fashion
tongue.gif
) but he does his own thing and frankly- no points for style but he stays on
grin.gif


When he gets too enthusiastic and comes to the yard more often he ends up re-organising the feed room and taking over and TBH...thats my domain
blush.gif


He's no bothered about shows so me and daughter do that on our own......he will listen to me wittering on for a while but doesnt get what I stress about as his horse is indestructible, easy to keep and lives on fresh air...he doesnt worry about saddle fit, correct diet and excercise and making his horse work properly...he just dips in and out and quite possibly enjoys it more....

He enjoys a bit of yard gossip though .......I think men can be as bad/worse than women on this front.....
grin.gif
 
It was a contributing factor to the end of my last relationship, he was resentful and maybe a little jealous (his words not mine!) of the horses, the time I spent with them and the horsey people I associated with that he didn't know (he never wanted to meet them though?). Towards the end it became a constant juggle keeping everyone happy and I ended up not riding but just doing the bare minimum with the horses to keep him from sulking, now its all over I'm back to normal with the riding and won't be going down that road again!
 
I would be very hurt if there wasn't some interest and at least the odd enquiry on how nag is etc. And also I want to be able to bounce ideas off him too - but I suppose more of a sounding board, rather than as someone who has expertise in that area. It's just healthy to talk about all the things that are part of our lives I suppose.

I have no idea about motorbikes, cars and engines - but try to take an interest, because it's his interest.

Apathy is the ruination of a relationship - so it's really important to be supportive of each other.
 
It is a HUGE can of worms. My husband will help me if there is a physical task I cannot do. He does not ride. He does not come to shows etc. I would have to be seriously and I do mean seriously incapacitated for him to muck out.

It is my obsession, so I don't expect him to help. He likes to stroke my horse and he is very fond of her, but he is a bit jealous of the time I spend on them, and we don't touch on the subject of the cost of them.
 
Not at all.Bearing in mind I have been a horse owner since 1999.He saw my first horse about 6 times,my second never and my newest one which I have had about 18 months once.That was only because my YO dragged him round to show him !
Yes, he complains about the cost as most unhorsey men do but as I said I work full time,don't smoke,rarely drink and it's my hobby.
I didn't complain when I was a golf widow when my son was a baby.
So whereas I would like him to be interested in what I do,I know that it will never happen.
 
In one ear and out of the other now, but then I have bored him with it all for 13 years so in a way… I kinda feel for the guy!

He understands how important they are to me and how upset I’d be without them, so he is supportive in that way but he doesn’t help me with them anymore (as in come down the yard), but to be fair he’s done his time, done enough mucking out in the past, so I don’t expect his support in that way.
 
The horse are my time so don't think I would want him to take to much of an interest. He will help out if I need him to and always asked if they are ok but he has his hobbies and I have mine
 
My OH is more than happy for me to spend time with horsey as it gives him time to play with his motorbike/computer games etc. He isnt really interested though but will help if asked and always asks how Che is when I get in at night. He's a bit scared of horses tbh but is OK filling hay nets, buckets and is brilliant at finding bargains on ebay! He's been brilliant during the snowy weather at driving me to and from yard when Im too scared to. I dont compete or anything so Im not usually gone all day but he knows to expect me when he sees me. I think because we are both in our forties, we are both quite happy with our own company and dont get jealous of each others hobbies, it's nice to have a bit of time to yourself! So, to answer your question, it's important to me that he doesnt throw a sulk every time I go to the yard and I dont have to justify the time I spend with Che but I dont mind that he doesn't want to get too involved. Reading this back I realise that Im very lucky really.
 
My OH works with horses all day (farrier) so i understand that he wouldnt want to come to shows, up the yard etc. But if i really wanted him to he would. To be honest, if he comes to a show, i wouldnt get a chance to see him anyway, its guaranteed that most of the show ground are his customers so he spends all day chatting lol.

I think a really important part in our relationship is that he has a hobby that he's just as passionate about. Which he does, and having your own time is so important. Time to breathe xx
 
My OH is horsey (dressage diva). Daughter is aswell so the main topic of conversation in the house is horses.
Never any issue about time or money spent on horses.
I go to all comps with wife or daughter as I drive the lorry but have banned OH from comming SJ with me. I really dont need someone telling me as I leave the ring just where I went wrong, I know that all too well.
crazy.gif

Purfik
 
I think i have the best of both worlds. My husband will come to competitions with me and he really is the only person who doesn’t stress me out when i am there. I can talk about the horses and bounce ideas off him but he doesn’t come down the yard unless i am ill or need something fixing. He can ride but only does the fun stuff like the beach etc.

I would be really upset if he couldn’t understand my passion and how much they mean to me.
 
I have support from him and can talk about them a little but does he have an interest in them - NO, he rarely comes down and then will mostly stay in the car, he isn't keen on the cost but has learnt that's just the way it is!
 
[ QUOTE ]
As title says really. My husband is tolerant of my horsey interests, but not overly enthusiastic. I know he can't understand why I would want to spend so much time/money on my horse, and he's not really interested in discussing anything horse related in any great detail! This doesn't bother me particularly, I have plenty of horsey friends to bounce ideas off, and my mum is still really interested and enjoys coming to see me at shows etc.

Just interested to hear other people's opinions! (Hope I'm not going to open a can of worms here!!)
tongue.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

My husband is pretty much the same as yours, although I think he would prefer it if I didn't have a horse at all!
 
I had my horse before I had my other half and he is really suportive doesn't question money etc.
He doesn't come to shows, but he does turn out my horse for me one day a week and oftern comes up on a Sunday to help me out.
 
my (non horsey) husband is ace.

-he sold his sporty car so i could buy my horse (and he now has to drive a shonky diesel Picasso!)
-when raff was in livery about 5 miles away, he used to go and do all the mucking out/feeding etc when i was too tired/pregnant/fat
-we moved house so i could have raff at home and now has an extra 2hrs a day commute
-since living here he has literally spent every single day off work doing hard labour for me. he's built me stables, a haybarn, fenced the land, laid hardstanding etc etc. he is now in the process of making me a tackroom out of one of the mouldy brick outbuildings.
-he's let me spend all our savings on a little lorry which then died on the way home. we spent 8hours at the side of the road, without a single whimper of disapproval (i was hysterical, he wouldn't have dared say anything...). he then fixed the lorry, and we discovered Raff wouldn't fit in it... so we sold it and spent even more money on another one. again, not a word of disapproval.
-he mucks out if i don't want to. he fills haynets. he tries to change rugs. he takes our toddler out on the shetland. he's excited about the summer and going to shows. he's bought himself an 'inhand showing' book to learn about it so he can come along to the shows with the kids and the shetland.

i am very lucky to have him. we both are very supportive of each other, and not a day goes by when i don't pinch myself because he's the stuff dreams are made of.

will someone pass the puke bucket... *gag*

ets: i didn't actually answer the question...
blush.gif
his support is very important to me.
 
My OH is great!

He bought my horse for me, asks after her every evening after I've been to see her and comes to see me at shows.

He doesn't come to the yard very often but that suits me.

I couldn't really ask for more.
 
It's quite important for me to have an OH that understands that it's my 'thing', but not necessarily important to have a horsey OH.

My OH is taking up riding lessons which is nice, but tbh my time at the yard is my time and I wouldn't want him there
grin.gif


I also hate him coming to shows because when I get nervous I moan at him a lot!
blush.gif
blush.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
My OH is great!

He bought my horse for me, asks after her every evening after I've been to see her and comes to see me at shows.

He doesn't come to the yard very often but that suits me.

I couldn't really ask for more.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the same as my husband. He takes an interest and asks how she's doing (to be fair though, he'd get told even if he didn't ask!
wink.gif
) and is good about tagging along to competitions with me for morale support- and even more importantly, takes the ever popular "Mr FigJam" photos for me!
grin.gif


He actually bought Hopalong for me as a Christmas present (I'd been loaning her for 9months and when I moved house, was having to give up the loan which broke my heart, but he saved the day!), was happy to live off rations for a few months to allow me to scrape money together for a trailer to get out and about, has come and sat with me at Horsepital when she was injured and (on the very odd occasion!) sometimes will come up and give me a hand when I'm not well or feeling pants.

Basically, all the stuff I've done in the last couple of years I wouldn't have done or been able to do without his support and I am so grateful that he's been there to help and make it all happen.
laugh.gif
I understand that it's not his hobby (photography, karate and cars are!) but would be hurt if he showed zero interest in it.
 
My OH has no interest in horses, however he has no problem with the time and money I spend on my horse and will help out at the yard or at shows if I ask him to (which I don't very often as I know he finds it a bit boring, although he does it without complaining). He will ask how I got on if I'm competing, if I had a nice ride or if my horse is ok, but that's usually as far as it goes.
My horse is my "me" time so the amount of involvement he has with my horse is just fine with me.
 
My OH is fantastic. I met him as a totally non horsey, city dweller, totally scared of horses and no interest in dogs. Once day he decided he wanted to learn to ride so i agreed to teach him on my young 17'2 eventer. And no looking back, he was doing pleasure rides in 3 months, hunting in 6 months, did his first dressage test at 12 months and I gave him my horse as his christmas present 2 years ago. he bought me my current horse. Last year he did his first Hunter trial, and then 3 one day events. he sold his ciry house ans we bought a gorgeous old farmhouse in Devon with 30 acres and now have a livery yard. He agreed to me having a yearling so we now have 4 horses between us and regular lessons at home and this year he has set out his plans for competing and mine and is scheduling in lessons and training trips. He is totally hooked and its fantastic to have an OH who wants to spend money on the horses, badgers me to get the campsite booked for Badminton and never ever complains about the time I spend with horses.
 
clipcloppop what a lovely guy you have totally unselfish and fab you are v lucky. Mine shows naff all interest, I have to work to pay for mine (which is fair enough), if we have a family i will have to give the whole lot up, he moans about them and I had them before he even came along.
 
My OH was useless and used to moan non stop! We were looking at moving in together and he kept picking the most expensive apartments as he knew i wouldn't be able to afford that and horses and he got a trust payment from mummy and daddy every month of £1k (on top of his salary!) so was saying i would have to sell them if i wanted to live with him. He is no longer my OH horses were there before him!!
 
His support is really important to me..............but his interest isn't!
smile.gif


He asks when I get home every day how the horses are, although doesn't generally listen to the reply. He comes down and helps out with building things and will feed/hold for the vet if I can't get down and he is around.

He VERY rarely comes to competitions but I have to beg him! To be honest, the most important thing to me is that he understands how important they are. Also that I would be very unwilling to give them up. However, I do think it is a two way street and I make an effort to support him in his interests and take a break from the ponies sometimes.

He does like saying things like 'she's really working over her back' or 'she's tracking up beautifully'. He has NO idea what he is saying, he just overhears things and then repeats them!
smile.gif
 
Mine really isn't interested but will tolerate me yapping on about the horse to him for a short about of time. He despises coming to the yard and even when there doesn't want to stroke the horse, he constantly complains about the smell.
But he is happy that I have a hobby I love and surprised me with a new saddle for xmas.

I haven't been to a show with the horse yet but he probably would come along to watch, although I think his jokes about me losing would probably stress me out.

Think he would rather I didn't spend as much time there and as much money but then again my non horsey friends/ family don't get that either.
 
My hubby is not overly interested in horses, but does indulge my passion bless him. He HATES how much they cost, but such is life, he has a motorbike - that's his hobby, I have a horse - that's mine. He used to ride when he was younger so can sit on a horse and manage rising trot, but that's where his talents on horseback end and he's not interested in riding at all!

He will quite happily listen to me chatter away about the horse, and likes to understand what I am talking about. He now understands cadance after watching a few vids on YouTube!!
wink.gif


He will also come to the stables with me, pretty much as often as I ask him to to help with her, making feeds, or getting her in, changing rugs, grooming, anything really. He just draws the line at mucking her out, but will push the barrow around the field for me when I poo-pick. He actually really likes Fizz, which is a big bonus! He will also put up jumps or video or take photos, and has been known to come out with me as I hack out walking the dogs. If I really have a problem geting there he will go down there for me and sort her out.

He really enjoys coming along to support me a comps too. Can be a bit of a backseat driver at times though *hee hee*!

He's a very good, supportive hubby, especially for a non-horsey type - love him lots
smile.gif


So the long and short of that, is that having had a completely unsupportive, jealous W***er, and my wonderful hub, I know which I prefer, so I guess OH support is very important to me.
 
His support is quite important to me. He is completely non-horsey, and when we first started seeing each other I didn't really care that he didn't know one end of a horse from the other. However he has grown to be really good around them, and I'm very lucky. My mum and I have a bit of a laugh about it as I say in the seven years we've been together I've achieved a lot more with my OH than she has ever done with my dad in the 30 odd years they have been married!!

He's absolutely fantastic, he comes with me once or twice a week to do them, and he is perfectly capable of looking after them by himself. I would have no hesitations about going away for 2 months and him being responsible for them. He mucks out, poo picks (with gloves now!!!), feeds, changes rugs (although I don't think he will ever learn to undo a rug properly before taking it off...), comes to shows with me, helps me do labour (he re-built my stable roof for me in the summer), I could go on....

He has even started to say some quite sensible sounding things about them! Perhaps he is possibly becoming knowledgable.....I don't think he'll ever ride, but thats fine.

I'm very very very lucky and he's the best non-horsey OH I could hope to find!!
 
[ QUOTE ]
He does like saying things like 'she's really working over her back' or 'she's tracking up beautifully'. He has NO idea what he is saying, he just overhears things and then repeats them!
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Ha ha, Mr FigJam does that too! I call it "Horsey Tourettes" as he'll just randomly shout out a horsey word or term that he's heard/read in one of my magazines and then look really smug!
smirk.gif
He also usually has little/no clue what he's actually saying, although every now and then does have a useful insight. He also has funny names for stuff such as "toe boots" (over reach boots) and "shin boots" (brushing boots)!
 
[ QUOTE ]
I gave him my horse as his christmas present 2 years ago. he bought me my current horse.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like your style Bosworth
grin.gif
.

Hmm, I'll give him my old knacker
tongue.gif
and he can buy me a nice new shiny one
shocked.gif
smile.gif
.

I'll have to remember that
laugh.gif
laugh.gif
grin.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top