How long did it take my horse to die?

Am so sorry for you OP.

Agree totally with your reminders. Will add to that that if you ever leave your horse with someone, set it in stone what you expect (I write day by day and hourly instructions) and have a plan a, a plan b and a plan c.

I hope your raw grief subsides over time and you can remember the happier times. For what it's worth, animals when stressed are often not actually aware-their instinct, parts of their DNA, kick into place and they aren't truly aware. When my nan was in ITU, I was talking to the nurses who say that when they speak to those who come out of ITU and recover, none of them ever have memories of ITU, none of the good, none of the bad-the body was fighting for it's life so takes over and it becomes a blank spot in their memory. This was a great comfort to me when my nan eventually passed. Xx
 
OMG i'm so sorry to hear this.

Put it this way that 'friend' wouldn't be my friend any more. I'd hit the roof if they hadn't been to check on my horse at least once a day. I'm sure you know this but if she had done what she'd been asked then maybe we wouldn't be answering this post....:mad::mad::mad:
 
OP I really feel for you.

As others have said the last things your horse would of known are the warmth and comfort of his stable and feeling the love of your sister by his side.

As for your friend, it would be easy to blame her but you could drive yourself mad if you keep thinking 'what if'. I do think she should of checked on him for you but she didn't and there was no excuse. I'm sure she is racked with guilt.

I lost my old horse a few months ago and am struggling with the thought of being without him but am trying to get through by knowing how lucky I was to have had him at all.

RIP Bobbi.
 
I such a horrible thing.

I wouldnt know how long he was there for.

Yes you are entitled fo be angry that the farmer moved him, but it wastn his fault he got stuck, he either knew you were away so thought best not bother you, or knew you would be there to see him in a few hours so would know he had been moved.

Also your friend, how clear was it that they were to check on him?
Was it a vague instruction, or was it clear how often they had to check him?
It wasnt their fault though that he fell in the ditch, he would have been found much sooner though if they had checked on him.

The farmers did their best and be grateful they helped him.
Although a vet should have at least have been called when he was safely in the barn, before the rescue even better.
But farmers deal with livestock and dont treat them as pets, they did their best and thought he would be fine resting in the barn

A tragic store but no one is to blame.
 
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OP i am so sorry to read about your lovely bobbi, please dont torture and beat yourself up over it, accidents happen and thankfully at the end he had people who loved him with him.
As to how long he was there that i cannot answer, and something i hope you can eventually put out of your mind and only remember the good times.
PM me if you ever want to chat
 
OP, what a terrible story, but I really think it is probably best not to dwell on any aspect of this really unfortunate situation, my heart goes out to you, it really does. xx
 
Starbucks said:
How awful, poor Bobbi!! :( I'm sorry to say (and I'm sure you already know) but I think you've been massively irresponsible here.
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I have to say I completely disagree with this heartless comment. The OP had asked her 'friend' to keep an eye on her horse whilst she was away on business. How many of us have done this? I know I have, you trust your friend to do as you ask, especially so in this case as the friend had a horse in the adjoining field! Good Lord, when I was on a livery yard people regularly asked each other to look after various horses!

OP I am so sorry for your loss, I really feel for you, and, although no money exchanged hands, I would find it very hard to forgive the friend in question.

Hugs to you
xx
 
The OP had asked her 'friend' to keep an eye on her horse whilst she was away on business. How many of us have done this?
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I haven't, actually. I have asked a friend to look after my horse, giving very clear instructions on what to do etc., but never a casual 'keep an eye'.

However, regardless of that - OP you have my condolences.
 
Starbucks said:
How awful, poor Bobbi!! :( I'm sorry to say (and I'm sure you already know) but I think you've been massively irresponsible here.
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You disgust me with this comment, if you are young that is absolutely no excuse - I hope you are never in the same position one day, but if you are, I hope that some pondscum never says this sort of thing to you.

ARussell, I am very sorry you have had to go through this, if it is any consolation, I don't feel that he was in the ditch for long, horses go downhill very quickly in that situation. It would not have been a good idea to sedate him either, it would have made a bad situation worse. I would not necessarily blame the farmer in this instance, but I would never ever forgive your so called friend for not checking on him as asked. I would ask those attending why a vet was not called in such a life threatening situation.

Again, I am very sorry for your loss, please try not to blame yourself.
 
You poor thing This has to be one of the most heartbreaking titles I've read on here. I'm afraid I can offer no reassurance to you and although the advice of other posters to try not to think about it is good, I can understand how that is impossible for you.

Lots and lots of hugs and sympathy, and yes, I'd cut your so called "friend" out of your life.
 
I've been asked by people to "keep an eye" on their horses when they haven't been able to get to the yard for one reason or another...and to me that doesn't mean ignoring them for 3 days! I would check them at least twice a day (including checking water, field gates etc.) My deepest sympathy goes out to the owner of this lovely horse. XX
 
I have often had friends see to my horses in the past as I have seen to theirs, i have also had a friend call me on a day she was supposed to be seeing to my horse to tell me she could not get to the yard as her child was Ill did she mind if she called yo to ask herto do a days livery she also offered to pay for it. Needless to say I never took the money she even called me back to say yo would do a days full livery for him.
The comment by Starbucks was totally uncalled for and heartless what a Nasty post.
To op don't beat yourself up about it try and remember the times you had with him he sounds like he was a lucky boy to have an owner like you x
 
I would feel extremely let down by the so called friend who was supposed to be looking after him, I would be extremely annoyed at the farmer who couldn't leave him in the field you left him in, I presume he knew you were going away ? He should have waited. Had your friend actually visited he/she would have known his field had been swapped.

Unbelievable and unforgivable in my eyes, what has this friend said about it ?

I think you should try and not think about how long it took him to die, he is out of misery now, just take comfort from that. I'm sorry for your loss
 
Clippy said:
At the end of the day, unless you physically pay someone to look after your horse in your absence, then although your friend let you down morally, what happened is not her fault. I do think the farmer has some explaining to do though. If he moved the horse into an obviously unsafe field out of eyeshot of where your friends field was, and when you weren't in the country to supervise, then there's a few grey areas there.

It doesn't matter how long he took to die, it's over for him and torturing yourself will only make you feel worse.
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I'm sorry I disagree, if her friend said she would do it, she should have done it simple as and if she couldn't should have said so. once a friend had booked her holidays the same time as me, I booked mine first, she'd promised to look after my horse while I was away, and now she was going away herself and leaving her horse for someone else to check she had 4 legs and that was it, like she thought I'd still go away ???? WRONG, good job I knew before she went eh ? So I cancelled my holiday and ended up looking after HER horse! we'd agreed to look after each others when we were away, yes but not to double book holidays so they were left, that too was unbelievable. We speak when we see each other which isn't often, but I can say that that ended the friendship as it was. I moved yards
 
This is a terrible and tragic story. ARussell, you have my sincere sympathies. I can only begin to imagine what you have gone through personally.

I say 'begin' because my own dear Lucky was subjected to a horribly similar experience - getting stuck in a muddy ditch half full of water, entangled in barbed wire (the bane of agricultural land here in Scotland) only partly visible under the surface. In this case, however, he couldn't have been there for more than a couple of hours before I found him, 'cut' the barbed wire away using a hammer and anvil I found in the farmer's shed (he was away at the time, and I couldn't find proper wire cutters), and waited with Lucky until the farmer returned and helped pull him out using a tractor. Amazingly, Lucky escaped with only a couple of puncture wounds from the barbed wire, and within a week was fully recovered from the experience. I, on the other hand, still feel a certain horror and guilt about what happened (yes, I should have checked the field perimeter myself too rather than trusting the farmer to ensure everything was safe for my horse) - though those feelings have faded over time, as they do.

But I really wanted to say something based on my long-standing interest in and study of equine behaviour - something that may offer a little comfort and consolation.

We will never know for sure what horses are thinking and feeling in any given situation, of course; we can only go by their behaviour which it is reasonable to assume is indicative of what's going on inside their heads. As far as we can tell, horses don't think one thing and do another. At least, there is no evidence for that kind of duplicity. In that respect, horses are very 'honest'.

We know that horses who find themselves trapped for whatever reason don't continue trying to escape for very long. What then appears to happen is they go into a subdued state of relative stillness. Some have called this state 'learned helplessness'. Whether or not this is strictly the correct term, it seem appropriate inasmuch as the horse is indeed helpless to change the situation he has found himself in. Every horse has a strong survival instinct, it is true. Consequently a horse won't waste valuable energy attempting to escape when that has been found not to be possible. Switching to a physically passive state makes sense biologically.

This must have a bearing on what the horse is experiencing mentally. Given how behaviour reflects inner mental state, the most plausible supposition is that a horse who has entered the 'helpless' state ceases to experience terror and panic. What is the point of a horse continuing to feel extreme fear if flight (or fight) is not an option? I think we need to be very careful not to assume that horses think and feel the same way as we do. In particular, we have a sense of future and are able to imagine, for better or worse, what might happen to us. Horses, in contrast, live in the moment. So when a horse has stopped trying to escape and has 'given up', a quiet mental state seems much more likely than one of great anxiety and turmoil. I'm not saying that it would be a pleasant state to be in, but it is probably less awful than the worst we can imagine. And if the horse became hypothermic, his overall level of consciousness might also be reduced.

As usual, I've rambled on longer than I intended. I just wanted to raise the possibility, if it hadn't occurred to you before, that the amount of suffering that Bobbi experienced while trapped may have been rather less than you assumed, and there is good reason to believe this.
 
horrific, this is the stuff nightmares are made of. my sympathies. an awful way to go, but i expect that he was relieved for the end when it came, and he is at rest now so try to let that comfort, however small, help in some way. i suspect your friend knew her responsibility, didn't bother to do as told and is trying to shift the blame by pretending you never asked.
 
Good grief, how completely horrific.

I cannot imagine how painful it must be for you.

RIP Bobbi.

OP, I hope you are not despairing too much. massive hugs at such a difficult time. xx
 
I, too am of the opinion that your Bobbi would have put himself in a 'trance-like' state and that he likely didn't suffer as much as you imagine he did. My horse got stuck in mud and after a couple of struggles, literally 'gave up'. I was virtually hysterical, but my non-horsey husband was very level headed and with his help we managed to get him out. The whole episode was over in probably less than 10 minutes and it clearly does not compare to your very sad situation, but I just wanted you to know how quickly they can go into their 'calm' state.
Through my tears reading your post on my way to work this morning(!), I managed to also smile at the fact that your lovely boy remained a typical loveable cob right to the end as one of the last things on his mind was .........FOOD :)
Very best wishes to you and try to fo us on all the nice things you shared, not his sad and untimely parting x
 
My sincerest sympathies.:( You've lost Bobbi and I suspect, someone you considered a reliable friend. What happened was a moment in time that has gone. Bobbi is not suffering now. He was loved in life by you and that is what is important. Please don't torture yourself yourself with what ifs.
 
Do not blame yourself, you are suffering enough thinking about how he died, RIP Bobbi, personally i would never speak to your "friend" again, i am usually very forgiving but this is unforgivable. But don't dwell on it, it will tear you apart. I do think he would of been in a state of shock and not known, i really am so so sorry. (((BIG HUG))))) x
 
I have already posted how sorry I am for your terrible loss.

Having read through the recent posts on how horses go into a trance-like state. I would very much agree with this. My horse fell into my swimming pool last year when it was -7 and we had ice and 2 ft of snow. He had walked onto the cover (which is supposed to hold a car) and his shoes must have split the cover and he fell in. It would have been so terrifying for him as he was stuck with just his head sticking out. When I found him I had no idea how long he had been in there but he was completely calm and looking back now, he was in a sort of a trance. My story had a happy ending as I got in the pool and was able to cut the cover with a knife and he walked out with me and up the steps. Please take some comfort in the fact your horse would have been calm too. Having had a horse in mortal danger I know it is true. x
 
NOISYGIRL said:
I would feel extremely let down by the so called friend who was supposed to be looking after him, I would be extremely annoyed at the farmer who couldn't leave him in the field you left him in, I presume he knew you were going away ? He should have waited. Had your friend actually visited he/she would have known his field had been swapped.

Unbelievable and unforgivable in my eyes, what has this friend said about it ?

I think you should try and not think about how long it took him to die, he is out of misery now, just take comfort from that. I'm sorry for your loss
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My friend met the farmer moving Bobbi when she was coming home from riding her horse... she told him that I would be mad that Bobbi was moved (after all, Bobbi was put in the field of good grass because I wasn't going to be around to bucket feed him). So she knew Bobbi had been moved and had told the farmer I didn't want him moved, however, she did nothing to stop it. Perhaps she assumed my husband had authorised the move. I don't know. I can't look at her straight in the face at the moment, but have not seen her since the day after Bobbi died.

I should also point out that I own all the land. It has always been a family farm although since my grandfather died, no one does any farming anymore. I rent to the cattle farmer and friend. Friend has since moved her horse at my husband's request and farmer has been told he will never again have a field for his cattle with us. However, at the same time the onus was on me to check the perimeters of the field. My husband would have done that had I asked... but we'd never had any problem before with loosing animals in this way. Sheep have grazed out land, as well as cattle, horses, goats and even a llama. Strange how the dead horse just had to be my beautiful animal.

Thanks for all your replies. particularly the poster who left a detailed account of how horses seem to live in the moment and accept their fate. God, I just can't believe this has happened.
 
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I think pretty well all of us are shocked and saddened about this terrible accident and of a mind that you weren't neglectful of him in any way, and that as has been explained, he likely didn't suffer at all. He had loving company when he needed it and a wonderful mum in you, up to that point.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and that reason is often unclear at the time.

Sleep well, Bobbi. My thoughts are with your mum - that peace finds her soon and takes away the pain of losing you.
 
I didn't want to post pictures of Bobbi on this thread... but here is one that hopefully the administrator will let me delete later.

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Just wanted to post again to say how sorry I am for my initial reaction - very cruel. :(

We've lost a horse in a tragic accident and the last thing we needed was someone saying it was our fault!! Sorry again OP, and good luck for the future. xxx
 
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