How long did it take you to bond with your horse?

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GypsyGirl

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Helloo,

Im just wondering how long it took to bond with your horse when you first got him/her?
The reason why im asking is because I got my mare on Monday, and since then she has been in her own patch (she can still see the other horses next to her) so we can slowely introduce the horses. Now for the past week I have been bringing her in and grooming her, today she got a bit bored with it and pulled a little face at me. So now starting monday I am going to start lunging her and walking her out aswell on the lunge - long reining her etc.

So im just wondering really how long it took you to bond etc. I am waiting to get a saddle fitted so I can't ride her, but I want to do some good ground work as well so if anyone has any tips they can share of good exercises I can do to help the trust etc then that would be really helpful.

Im really looking forward to seeing her progress etc, im just hoping that this pulling face nonsense will stop, but then today was the only day she done it and I have put it down to boredem.

Thank you in advance!

xx
 
I think it depends,
I clicked with my gelding almost immedaitly, because he is a very loving chap, and was in poor condition when i got him, so i think he was grateful for a bit of grass :D my mare though, gawwd ; it must have been about 2 years before i finally clicked with her :o
 
Hi, it took me months to bond with my stupid mare! lol she was just far too highly strung, but once i put her on a calmer i had no problems.
 
I had a mare on loan and we never clicked! I ended up giving her back as she was ruining my confidence completely! I then got Bri and we bonding almost insantly. Although I don't have him now but he still thinks of me as mummy and doesn't give me the trouble he gives to the current people. It's great. He restored my confidence in horses completely and I wish I could have brought him :(
I guess the answer is, as long as it takes. Horses are individual and will allow you in when they are ready :D

BTW your mare is lovely :D
 
I've had Ethel 5 months now and we've bonded quite a bit since I got her, but we still have a way to go. You've had your mare not even a week yet, so don't expect too much too quickly, being a mare and all ;) x
 
My first mare, straight away. We just clicked for some reason but she was very one person pony so it was luck I think.

My second pony....had known him for 3 years previous so not really relevant...

Third/Current horse...only since recently I've really started clicking with him personally I think. Though from the start, a lot of people said he's suits me to a tee! I've loved him from the start don't get me wrong...but he was just a completely different kettle of fish to me and hasn't been untill recently I've felt we've really clicked and that 'us against the world' feeling lol. It's nice, I'm finally getting the bond I had with my first mare, with him :) It's been 14 months I've had him now.

If that helps?

I've had a little bit if champers so sorry if it makes noooooo sense whatsoever haha!
 
I bought my horse in March, hes always had a good character so we got on from the start. But saying that, I usually keep him on livery but he's been at home for the past 3 or 4 weeks. After the first week of just being me and him we really bonded. He will now follow me around, I have more trust in him as well when we go out. I feel I know him much better now. I don't even need to tie him up to shower him now he just comes over to me and lets me wash him all over, occassionally taking a bite at the water!!! It all depends really on each horses character. Just spend as much time as poss together, and don't forget to let them know you are the boss at the end of the day!!! Oh yes almost forgot, the one time I had a problem catching him from a field I did join up with him and never had a problem again.
 
I'm sure you'll click very soon....maybe she's got a sore spot where you're grooming her ? I knew a mare that really scowled when you brushed her flanks - you had to be ready !

I spent a lot of time sitting in the boy's stable with him when i first got him (it was winter) just doing nothing but watching him and "being" with him. A lot of time grooming too, and also spent time touching him from the tip of his nose, to the end of the tail bone, running my hands over him.

Don't worry, it'll all come right. sm xx
 
My first horse very quickly but he died after only 18 months of owning him, my second about 6 months, she was a right moody mare and I was still grieving alot for my boy. Once she settled she was the best but she was always a bit moody but I liked that side of her xx
 
My rescue chap - quite quickly in the beginning, as I think he recognised kindness. But, it has taken about two years, to really begin to know him better, understand his funny, odd quirks and form a 'real' partnership.

Honestly, don't rush it - it is something that will come with time and understanding each other. A week is barely any time at all!
 
Well it took me nearly a year to bond with my tb but now he adores me and hates everyone else! He just doesn't like strangers and it takes him a long time to get used to people. I'm having an issue with my cob though. I have had him nearly two years and although we get on well, I just don't feel that he really loves me :( This really upsets me as I am so used to the adoration I get from the tb!
 
About three years - my mare had had a bit of an abusive time before I got her but now we know each other better than we know ourselves and we have a proper bond. It's definitely worth perservering to get that.:)
 
My first it was about 18 months until she settled down I loved her but didn't always trust her.
My next one settled on the instant and i bonded with her on the instant, even if she did break my heart.
 
This is so strange, I was thinking about posting the EXACT same titled thread when i was sweeping up the yard this evening.

I've had my mare a month, and she's the first horse I've owned. Although I did know her a bit before hand, she's been quite different now that she's come home with me - I guess it takes them a little while to get used to us and to their new homes, just as it does with us when we move to a new town.

For the first two or three weeks I was feeling really miserable because I didn't feel like we were bonding at all, she barely seemed to recognise me when I came to the yard, and was quite tricky to ride - she's obedient enough, but does like to test the boundaries a little. I was actually thinking of selling her on as I just wasn't really enjoying her.

Yesterday the horse dentist came to do her, and before she started asked "what's she like?" "Oh, she's a real sweetie" I replied - cue her spending 45 minutes being a right little bu**er, shaking her head and being generally difficult. I've never been so embarrased, but it also gave me fantastic insight into her personality: she is a sweetheart but she very much knows her own mind (and was rather spoiled by her previous owner who totally gave into her on everything). Yesterday afternoon I rode her and that personality insight put a whole new spin on things: suddenly she wasn't 'awkward' and 'difficult' but 'opinionated', which totally changed the way I approached things, and I found I clicked with her a lot better. Although she did spook at the quad bike (which she's seen a thousand times) which is by far the worst thing she's done so far, it didn't scare me, I just laughed it off. By the end she was actually going quite nicely.

Today, I felt much more like she was MY horse, and not just A horse who I happen to look after, if that makes sense?

Now I'm quite enjoying the process of getting to know her, and wouldn't swap her for the world. Well, maybe for a horse who doesn't spook at quad bikes!
 
Within a month my boy would shout at both myself and my hubby. We both spent lots of time just being with him. He is a very people orientated horse and revels in the attention he gets so think that helped.

All horses are different and one day you'll just find it's there.
 
About 18 months. He has been a riding school/RDA horse for most of his life and he didnt know how to deal with a one to one situation. I loved him from the first moment I sat on him, but I know he didnt love me. I used to smother him with kisses and hugs and he would always pull away from me. A long while after I had bought him, I asked a 'horse whisperer' to talk to him, and she described exactly what we had been through together. She said he 'guarded his heart as he did not know how to love and did not want to love as people always let him down'. I knew we had bonded after 18 months together. He is much more affectionate now, but on his terms. You cannot kiss and cuddle him in public though, that is just not allowed, but in his stable and away from other eyes he is fine. He has been described as a bit of a thug and the Phil Mitchel character in Eastenders is probably the nearest I can come to his character - hard as nails, a real thug, but loves his mummy (looks like him too - a chunky 14.33 hogged cob).
 
probably around 2 months, me and him definetly didn't necessarily click from the moment I got him. However now I feel like I have such a strong bond with him :)
 
1st real horse instantly we were inseperable (gelding) we argued a lot but he was my soul mate.

2nd horse never she was a witch

3rd horse within 3 months - he trusted me and I let him down (Long story)

4th horse She was a long time about 8 months but after that she was Mine til she died 8 months later

5th horse took a long time about 2 years he was not an easy horse.

6th horse again instantly he was/is a superstar and we know each other inside and out - I can muck something up but he KNOWS what I want and does it anyway... he's a saint under saddle and a dirty old man in the stable (likes to pinch my bum)

7th not there yet had him 14 months but he's a baby and don't know if I ever will -- but he's really my son's so I hope they'll make a great team...

8th comes next saturday and I'm already in love with him... just hope he loves me as much...

Blitz
 
With Snowy (my old pony mare) about a year before we really understood each other. I then had another horse for over 2 years and never bonded with her at all. Then with Barney my cob, straight away. There really doesnt seem to be any hard and fast time. Think alot depends on their temprement and how they settle in their new surroundings as well as how they are used to being handled beforehand.
 
I think it depends on your character, that of the horse, past experiences, how much time you spend together eg if you are a dash up to yard and dash away again, it could be never.
My mare had a really difficult past and was very mistrustful. She identified me as 'hers' quite quickly but it took some time for us to really bond. She was 10 days in the dick vet after and accident not long after I got her. I spent every minute there that i could, i dropped son off at school and went over and only left when i had to go and pick him up. That made a huge difference to us. i would grrom her or just sit in the corner with my book. She was really stressed in there hence the time i spent. The grooms said that the only time she lay down was when I was with her.
I suppose the answer is about 2 years til the bond was made 100% She is very much a one person horse now and not interested in anyone else really.
 
Im just starting to form a close bond with him now after 3 years of ownership. Granted I almost died the day I got him, had a really serious accident with another horse, so I wasnt allowed near him for the first 5 months then rode sporadically for the next 2 years so I never really got a chance to bond with him. We recently made the move from full livery to DIY and that has definately helped me bond with him. Im noticing little things, like he watches me while I walk around the yard doing stuff, he comes to the gate when I call him, more so now than ever - this last few weeks since we moved to a new yard, he has come trotting to the gate when I call him and he actually whinnies when he sees me now - he never used to do that. In fact I would say the bond has been growing since I put him on DIY almost a year ago - he feels like MY horse now :D
 
About 4 or 5 months, I bought him from the YO and as such I was just another human to him, we went through a very bad patch where he was attacking me in the stable, so I tried Join Up, and it worked!

I was off sick for 3 weeks and when I went up to see him, he nearly climbed over the stable door when he heard me talking! :D
 
I've a friend who drives and she bought a Dartmoor pony from the sales which was absolutely traumatised and terrified of humans, poor little thing. So what she did when she got it home was to just sit in the field and read a book out loud to it, just so it got used to the sound of her voice, and let the pony come up as close as it was comfy with, and worked from there. That pony is now a very successful driving pony and regularly wins prizes!

With mine, its taken two years. The first year I had him, he'd never been hacked alone and was a nervous wreck - and so was I!!! We were both scaring each other to death! So I sent him off to equine college where he had the basic schooling he'd never had; now he's come back to me and we're really doing the bonding that we never did in the first place, and its fab, we're doing so well that we've been in a situation where we were hacking out and a helicopter flew right over us and he didn't flinch at all; we both had total confidence in each other - fab.

You'll know when you're bonded.
 
A matter of seconds :) when i first met lady, i had that warm fuzzy feeling when she looked at me, she pressed her nose against my arm. So i bought her :) a few days after that she had an accident and wasn't calm until i was holding her. Now shes very much a one person horse (when being ridden) will only let me ride her :) x
 
About 3 weeks with my current pony. Needless to say, he is going to be with me for the rest of his life. He only has to hear my footsteps and his head is over the stable door whereas he doesn't care for anyone else. He went through a phase of only me being able to catch him last Winter. He is a little tyke (Putting it very mildly there!) for anyone else but me to ride and especially to load. I like to think he'll do anything for me because I'd do anything for him and I think he knows that. :) You know when you've well and truly bonded with a horse and unless something truly awful happens, its something that can very rarely be broken.
 
Thank you everyone for all the comments! I'm going to Start lunging her and walking her out this week, hopefully she won't be as bored. She was falling asleep when I was grooming her yesturday then when the other horses walked off she got all funny and wanted to be with them. I always sit in her field and she comes over and nuzzles at me and when I turn up she wickers at me aswell, it was just yesturday but i'm hoping that, that was just a one off lol. I know a bond won't happen over a week etc she used to be a racer so used to lots of people, I was just wondering how long it took you and your horses,

Thank you very much xxx
 
Kittykins said:
she is a sweetheart but she very much knows her own mind
Click to expand...

I think if you look up the word "mare" in the dictionary, this is what you'll find!

Most mares just take a little longer, ime. I would say I am only just recently tightly bonded with my mare and I've had her about 14 months. It comes gradually. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't get discouraged when she's moody, or cranky, or crabby. It just means she's a normal mare!

Oh, and the face-pulling may mean she's in heat - my vet tells me that some mares get sensitive in their flanks when they are (mine does). In fact, it took almost a full year for my mare to stop being nasty and tail-swishy when groomed.

With all that though, I wouldn't trade her for the world. :)
 
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