How long did it take you to 'bond' with your new horse?

I was pretty bonded to my gelding the other day when I was filling the water trough and he decided that it was the perfect moment to sneak up behind me, grab the back of my jumper in his teeth and shake me up and down rather vigorously!

I was not amused. He looked highly delighted.

I'm now wondering if I can bond his teeth together so that we don't have a repeat performance.
 
Faracat said:
I was pretty bonded to my gelding the other day when I was filling the water trough and he decided that it was the perfect moment to sneak up behind me, grab the back of my jumper in his teeth and shake me up and down rather vigorously!

I was not amused. He looked highly delighted.

I'm now wondering if I can bond his teeth together so that we don't have a repeat performance.
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:D The little monkey!
 
Loved reading all of your responses!! some days I love him with all of my heart, other days I wonder whether I made the right decision buying a youngster to build that relationship up with before breaking. Right now he is just a ridiculously expensive pet hehe, that loves to break things!
but its only been 2 months, I will keep going :)
 
He is an utter S O D and I have to thwart his cunning plans on a daily basis. The mares are so nice and kind and easy to deal with, I honestly have no idea why I didn't buy another mare.

I'm sure that people would look at him charging over when called and think 'oh what a lovely bond you have' but it's really not the right kind of bond at all.
 
From between minutes to never but I wouldn't call it a bond. They are either my type or they are. They do my job or they don't. Bit like dating I suppose!!
 
Yes, the use of the word 'bond' can be unhelpful. I have seen people being really tentative with their new horse because they don't want to ruin the 'bond', when in actual fact it would be better if they just used good horsemanship and didn't put any pressure on themselves or the horse to magically 'bond'. With time, you naturally get to know each other and their quirks, likes, dislikes etc... and once the horse knows that you bring their breakfast, they are soon whinnying at you to hurry up. ;)
 
My first pony and I had a totally different relationship to the current horse and I. With Twirl (first pony), it was the sort of relationship you have with your first pony-loads of messing about, stupid things, he tolerated everything and we had a load of fun together because he accepted the wackiness and went along with it. He was my rock through some really bad school years but I didn't struggle to sell him when the time came. It was like we both knew we wanted different things-he wanted to keep on being the fun pony club pony and I wanted to get more serious. It was a really natural end to our time as a duo.

Onto the current horse, I was besotted from day one but it's taken me months to really understand her. It has been the steepest learning curve, learning to ride pretty much all over again and to figure out how to get the best from a new horse. In the time I've had her she has settled into life with me really well, we have each other well figured out. I love her so much it literally makes my heart hurt, and the thought of her going makes me feel like someone has punched me in the lungs. No matter the horse that comes next, I think that Chilli will always be my heart horse as she has been the solid thing there in me really figuring myself out and going through THE worst time of my life.

So to cut a long story short, it has taken months. But now we really get each other.
 
Faracat said:
He is an utter S O D and I have to thwart his cunning plans on a daily basis. The mares are so nice and kind and easy to deal with, I honestly have no idea why I didn't buy another mare.

I'm sure that people would look at him charging over when called and think 'oh what a lovely bond you have' but it's really not the right kind of bond at all.
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See, now it's my mare who's the mischief maker over the goody two shoes gelding :p
Having said that, it is so so nice to have a mare in my life again. I love my dopey gelding to pieces, but I far prefer immaculately planned mischief to the random gelding idiocy
 
Well me and my horse have essentially almost the same personality so we get along pretty well. Although the issue of who's stubbornness will win is annoying.
 
rachk89 said:
Well me and my horse have essentially almost the same personality so we get along pretty well.
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Snap!

On the bonding....genuinely instant, we just liked each other. Learning how to ride him....well how about nearly 4 years and JUST starting to get there!!
 
Faracat said:
DabDab, I just thought that this could have come across as being a sarcastic comment. It isn't. :)
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God no, I didn't take it like that at all :D
The mischievous mare took the sliding rails out of one field exit the other day because I was late fetching them in, and goody two shoes gelding just stood on the correct side of the rails on the floor doing his stupid mini rear thing because she was scoffing good grass from round the house. He wouldn't dream of stepping over until I got there and put his headcollar on. The troublesome one meanwhile was ignored until she graced us with her presence in the barn while I was loudly making feeds...
 
JillA said:
You don't. You learn to trust your horse and he/she learns to trust you, and allow you to take control. "Bonding" and "love" are anthropomorphisms and don't do any animal any favours - imagine if you were expected to display the behaviour of an entirely different species, such as herd or pack awareness? Let a horse be a horse, let it do what it does best and allow you to train it and use its innate inclination to do what you ask of it.
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Not singling you out particularly, but I often see this sort of response when people ask about bonds with their horse. Is there some kind of natural horsemanship/Parelli/etc. usage of bond that implies a ~mystical connection~ and ~telepathic communication~? Because when I refer to a bond with an animal, I'm talking about exactly this - mutual trust, respect and as much understanding as possible across the species barrier. And I tend to assume that other people are talking about the same thing.

I've met one horse where I had this pretty much instantly. (Sadly, this particular horse failed the vetting and would have been a bloody stupid purchase anyway.) My current share horse, it took a year to get anywhere close to it, and we still don't 100% trust each other.
 
turnbuckle said:
Snap!

On the bonding....genuinely instant, we just liked each other. Learning how to ride him....well how about nearly 4 years and JUST starting to get there!!
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Yeah we both liked each other immediately once I was on him, but up until then he looked like a grumpy git. But the ears went forward once I got on him and he was happy, so was I. Havent seen him look grumpy since I got him unless someone else gets on him.

But yeah the ability to ride him has been slow progress too. He is a big challenge, but I am starting to get it.
 
spacefaer said:
I always say it's like finding a boyfriend vs the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You can spend time with some horses, it's perfectly pleasant and you have fun, but it doesn't rock your world.

Some, you meet and can't imagine life without.

Nothing wrong with either sort, but you can have lots of fun with the first while waiting for the second!!



(PS Other genders are available)
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It's a very good analogy. I generally know within 3-6 months which category they fall into (horses that is!). These days if they are boyfriend only material they get sold on.
 
spacefaer said:
I always say it's like finding a boyfriend vs the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You can spend time with some horses, it's perfectly pleasant and you have fun, but it doesn't rock your world.

Some, you meet and can't imagine life without.

Nothing wrong with either sort, but you can have lots of fun with the first while waiting for the second!!



(PS Other genders are available)
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Agree... That struck a chord tbh. It's a painful thought even now (when everything is fine) that I won't have Fig one day.
 
nikkimariet said:
Agree... That struck a chord tbh. It's a painful thought even now (when everything is fine) that I won't have Fig one day.
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The thought of not having mine makes me feel physically sick. I have had a LOT of horses and loved them all, some more than others, but nothing like this one. The relationship I have with him is the thing people mean when they blather on about a bond. He absolutely adores me. Canters over to be caught, shouts to me when he sees me, whickers all the time, loves to be touched and fussed with, likes to stand with me and snuffle at my hair. He never takes his eyes off me, and he lights up when I'm around. Its like something out of a story book and people comment on it all the time.

He is a lovely natured pony anyway, but I got him out of a situation where he wasnt very happy and put him into a situation where he is radiantly happy. I also gave him clear but fair boundaries, made sure he was completely pain free and never asked to do anything he wasnt capable of.

I wasnt keen on him at first and I dont think he thought very much of me either. But a couple of months in when the pain issues were resolved and he realised I wouldnt be scared off things changed. He doesnt like other people at all and can give them a hard time, but slowly hes coming round to the idea that if I think someone is nice, then they probably are. It took my best horsey friend about a month of twice a week visits with apples for him before he decided she was quite nice actually :lol:

Hes a funny, quirky little horse and if it wasnt for all the bad treatment in his past he wouldnt be like this now, so I'd actually much rather that hadnt happened to him and he wasnt so attached to me
 
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