How long did it take you to 'gel' with your new horse?

i think about a year, maybe slightly longer. mine got injured in october and since he's been off work we've clicked even more. he doent really do anything too bad but i used to try over anlayse (sp) everything he did. would sit at night thinking why did he do that today, will he do it again etc etc. he is pretty straight forward so i expected to bond with him quickly but sometimes it just doesnt happen that quickly!!
 
It takes me ages and ages to bond with a horse. Usually about 18 months although it was a bit longer with my late mare. I think it takes longer to bond with a mare as they are a bit more picky with who they trust and want to be friends with. Once a mare does trust you and you have that bond however it's unbreakable, they would lay their life down for you.
I bonded with my gelding much quicker but he's a very likeable, approachable chap who gets on with everybody that gives him attention! He's a pleaser by nature and will try his best for most riders. However i've had him a year now and while I would say we have a strong bond I am still learning things about him and he still does stuff that completely takes me by surprise :)
 
If the horse is the one for me I tend to gel with them pretty much instantly.
Koko and Andy have just seem made for me I got on with them so well and I just knew they were the right horses for me, just perfect really and I feel so lucky to be able to have that sort of gel with my horses.

However, I've had some ones I haven't got on with either, there was nothing wrong with the horses but we just didn't have that connection. But in the same way I knew kind of instantly that they were not right for me and rather then keep a horse I didn't enjoy we sold them on to lovely homes.
 
I have been lucky in that I have gelled pretty much straight away with new one, but then from the moment I sat on him I knew he was the "one" :)
 
I have had my old mare since she was 4 (now 21) and it took me about 6 months to really get to know her but I was young then and so confident I was jumping Newcomers when she was 5. Now I have age on my back...fast approaching 40 - but we wont talk about that LOL...I don't have the confidence I used to have!
I had a 15.1hh connemara x ID that I had since she was a foal and just couldnt bond with her and trust her on the ground, so when she was broken that followed through. She used to rear and buck when the mood took her and I had a bad fall off her Mar 10 whcih left me having physio so I decided after that to move her on and she is enjoying her new home.

I left it for the summer to get over my accident and bought my new full ID 17hh boy - 4 year old in September 10. I am still getting used to him now really, although I knew he was right the first moment I saw him - gut instinct!!! I had him 6 weeks and he was a star then he tried a bucking broncho act in the school one day and I gave him a right telling off. He has never tried it on since! I trust him completely and we are slowing becoming a partnership, although I do believe it can take upto 2 years before you become a total partnership depending on the time spent with them!
 
Three years. Similar situation as yours - got a horse that was beyond my comfort zone. Took me a long time to find a trainer that "got" my horse and could deal with my nervousness, but now that I have we are making great strides. You will too.
 
Thanks guys, I think I am halfway there will a good Instructress who has known me for years and also gets my horse. I knew as soon as I saw her that she would be the one, I just need to give it the time. Feel much better about things now :-)
 
Hi Zirach. Just to say, do bear in mind that you've bought your horse at a very "sharp" time of year too. My mare is a totally different beast to ride during the colder winter months, extremely forward going, easily excited, extra alert and on occasions hard to get to walk as desperate to jog. We have some very lively rides which are not always welcomed although she hunts most weekends and so is at her peak fitness-wise.

However, throughout warmer months she is so incredibly laid back it's untrue. So much so that by July I'm thinking "what she needs is a good hunt or two to wake her up!"
So whilst lessons are without a doubt the fastest way that you'll gain headway with her in the confidence stakes, you've also got long, lazy, hazy, energy sapping days not too far ahead which really does take the wind out of most horses' sails so you can use those to your advantage with some lovely long walking hacks with some trot if you/she can be bothered! I'm sure your lovely mare will feel ultra secure and settled by this time next year and a year isn't really very long in the lifetime of your horse.

By the way, pushing your comfort zone with cantering out (or in, for that matter) when you don't feel you're ready is an absolute nonsense. What does it matter if you don't feel quite up to that for a good few months yet? I hardly think it's a pace your mare will forget!
Smile sweetly and .....ignore these wise guys!
Best of luck with your lessons. Your instructress sounds great.
 
Agree with everything autumn7 says, I'm just gritting my teeth in all the wind and the rain, thinking of lovely hacks in the summer sunshine when my mare will finally remember there is another pace but jog, spin, sideways, jog, repeat!
 
Now come on chin up. Zac was a hard act to follow, however at least this girlie keeps all four feet on the ground :). It is still very early days for you, remember when you first got Zac it took some time to bond with him (it is easy to forget when you look back you only remember the good times) and how he bucked your mum off out hunting. Give it time and try not to compare the two, I am assuming Jo is yelling at you, she will get you on the right track and come summer you will be out and about with no fears at all. She is a lovely mare and you will both get a bond with her and all your fears will be put to rest.

Will be back down soon with Poppy so will pop in again. Give DJ a hug for me will you.
 
Def true Autumn7 it is a 'scatty' time of year and you cant really get out and do a vast amount as it is mud up to your eyeballs!! You have reminded me of the joys of hazy summer hacking (it seems such a long time ago now!)

Scally - helloo you! Hope you are ok? Yes Jo is giving me lessons ( she has been on hols so not for a while) and she has been brill, the woman I had helping me before had me working her 'forward, forward forward making both of us totally unbalanced and Jo is working on the slowing down and getting her to listen so we will get there!

I had forgetten how long it took us to get used to Zac, like summer it seems so long ago. As I said to you, she isnt going anywhere - I have just had so much negativity from a certain person and it had started to get to me.

It is so nice hearing everyone elses experiences and reminds you that these things take time.

Consider DJ hugged! xxxx
 
Took three years with mine, i still get dumped on a regular basis!! She loves her jumping so i put up with it lol. Keep going...you'll get there in the end :)
 
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