How long did it take you to get used to your horse?

[Ellietotz]

M came to me on permanent loan when we decided to turn Pops away for a year. I was stressed and heartbroken after my summer of box rest with Pops and really didn't feel I had the capacity to let another horse into my heart...I also felt immense guilt at having a second horse, as if I was somehow cheating Pops.

I hadn't even met him before he arrived at our yard, but as luck would have it from a ridden perspective we clicked immediately. He takes a while to warm to new people, so we kinda rubbed along for the first month or so. It was only after a week away skiing that I realised I was falling for him, and when I lost Pops he became my rock.

I've had him nearly 6 months now and absolutely adore him. He's brought my riding on tenfold and reignited my passion for all things horsey and I will be forever thankful for that. He will never take Poppy's place, but the partnership we have together is very special and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

That's beautiful! I hope I get that too. Thank you for telling me your lovely story

 

[Ellietotz]

It took me 2 years to get used to my horse Toby and not get so nervous when I first got on, he was (in hindsight) a big step up for me from my first horse Chumley who was a very steady happy hack type. Toby was the opposite, spooky and fairly sharp, but loves work and he is without doubt my horse and love of a lifetime, he gives me everything, I've done more with him than I ever imagined. I think a big turning point was going to Adult Camp with Toby for the first time, spending 3 whole days just focusing on us, made me realise how awesome he was and we had an amazing time, highly recommended for getting to know them better. Enjoy your journey with your new horse xx

Sounds like what I have gone from and to. I'm so glad it worked out for you. Thank you, I look forward to what our future holds xx

 

[rosiesowner]

Already a lot of experiences on this thread but I thought I would add mine. When I got a message from Chilli's owner I wasn't entirely sure she was the horse for me. But because I was only looking for a full loan I went and had a look anyway. Loved her from the first ride. She was really exciting to me because I knew she had all the tricks tucked up her sleeve that I was excited to ride. I'd never ridden deliberate flying changes or extended trot before

I've had her for just over a year now and I can honestly say it was only in March I really figured out what makes us work together as a great combination. Before February I was so determined to event her. That was the type of horse I was looking for. However a few incidents made me lose my bottle and over winter I barely had the courage to get on her. I did anyway, and she responded to my fear and tenseness by giving me the same back. I would muck out after riding in floods of tears because I was convinced we weren't for each other. Like you mentioned, I also have massive issues with self belief and confidence. After one particularly grim day out jumping I realised: I wasn't enjoying this at all any more. So I made a change of discipline and my pony and I have never been happier. I have no urge, really, to jump now. I much prefer being an armchair eventer

So what I'm really trying to say is that what I found was the best way to handle the situation was to make a change. At the end of the day, if you continue doing what you've always done, you'll continue getting what you've always got. Review what is knocking your confidence, learn how not to put yourself down so much and FIND YOUR NICHE. If you find something that you feel your horse and you are good at you'll both enjoy it and bond over that.

I loved Chilli unconditionally from the day I got her, but until these last few months I've never felt united with her when I rode her. It turns out we both had different aims and we had to find something to suit us both and fill us with confidence.

If you read all of that then I congratulate you as it was a long spiel and went off topic a few times but I hope you can get something from it, ellietotz.
Best wishes for you and your horse xx

 

[Ellietotz]

Already a lot of experiences on this thread but I thought I would add mine. When I got a message from Chilli's owner I wasn't entirely sure she was the horse for me. But because I was only looking for a full loan I went and had a look anyway. Loved her from the first ride. She was really exciting to me because I knew she had all the tricks tucked up her sleeve that I was excited to ride. I'd never ridden deliberate flying changes or extended trot before

I've had her for just over a year now and I can honestly say it was only in March I really figured out what makes us work together as a great combination. Before February I was so determined to event her. That was the type of horse I was looking for. However a few incidents made me lose my bottle and over winter I barely had the courage to get on her. I did anyway, and she responded to my fear and tenseness by giving me the same back. I would muck out after riding in floods of tears because I was convinced we weren't for each other. Like you mentioned, I also have massive issues with self belief and confidence. After one particularly grim day out jumping I realised: I wasn't enjoying this at all any more. So I made a change of discipline and my pony and I have never been happier. I have no urge, really, to jump now. I much prefer being an armchair eventer

So what I'm really trying to say is that what I found was the best way to handle the situation was to make a change. At the end of the day, if you continue doing what you've always done, you'll continue getting what you've always got. Review what is knocking your confidence, learn how not to put yourself down so much and FIND YOUR NICHE. If you find something that you feel your horse and you are good at you'll both enjoy it and bond over that.

I loved Chilli unconditionally from the day I got her, but until these last few months I've never felt united with her when I rode her. It turns out we both had different aims and we had to find something to suit us both and fill us with confidence.

If you read all of that then I congratulate you as it was a long spiel and went off topic a few times but I hope you can get something from it, ellietotz.
Best wishes for you and your horse xx

No feel free! I love hearing/reading peoples success stories. I'm a very anxious person so the more I read, the better! I'm the kind of person that needs to be reassured multiple times! :lol:
This is lovely, thank you so much for telling me. You both sound great together and I hope I get to this stage. She loves jumping and so do I but I'm just too bloomin' scared most of the time but still make myself do it if I see something to go over out hacking and every time, I enjoy it. I just love her jump, when everything falls into place and she just flies, it's the best feeling.
Thank you xx

 

[diamondrockharvey]

I think it took a good 18 months for me and my pony to really click. And now I feel like I know her inside out and know how she will react in any situation. I have had her 2 years now. It was hard cause I got her after loosing my horse of a lifetime who had been part of my life for 18 years so she had a lot to live up to. You try not to compare and I still miss my old mare, but the pony I have now is awesome in so many ways and I feel so comfortable with her now and I feel like she does with me. You also have to remember that they will have been used to their previous owner/rider and home so they need to get used to you and your ways too as everyone is different!
It really does take time, it's like getting a new partner, it usually takes a while before you are fully comfortable in their company and feel like you really know them!

 

[Ellietotz]

I think it took a good 18 months for me and my pony to really click. And now I feel like I know her inside out and know how she will react in any situation. I have had her 2 years now. It was hard cause I got her after loosing my horse of a lifetime who had been part of my life for 18 years so she had a lot to live up to. You try not to compare and I still miss my old mare, but the pony I have now is awesome in so many ways and I feel so comfortable with her now and I feel like she does with me. You also have to remember that they will have been used to their previous owner/rider and home so they need to get used to you and your ways too as everyone is different!
It really does take time, it's like getting a new partner, it usually takes a while before you are fully comfortable in their company and feel like you really know them!

I completely agree! Things have been going well for us so far so I really hope eventually we will settle and be used to each other!

 

[diamondrockharvey]

I completely agree! Things have been going well for us so far so I really hope eventually we will settle and be used to each other!

I am sure you will - just don't put too much pressure on yourself. One day it will just all click into place x

 

[Cortez]

I'm an old pro rider, so it's never been a question of "getting used to": you just have to get on and get on with it. But a very old, experienced trainer once told me that it takes a year to really know a horse, and I would concur with that. I have a new horse that arrived 3 weeks ago, but really I knew she was going to be coming home with me the instant my backside plopped into the saddle.

 

[Emby]

It took me about 6 or 7 months to 'click' with my girl. She was originally supposed to be a mother/daughter share and was really my daughters choice rather than mine. However she was a lot greener than we'd been led to believe and thinking she was too much for her my daughter seemed to distance herself after a couple of months - meaning she became mine.
We had a very fraught first 4 or 5 months during which she repeatedly climbed over the stable door, and on one occasion, bolted with me. Thinking I'd bought a 'wrong un' I eventually enlisted the help of a Kelly Marks RA, who after meeting her and working with her for an hour or so said she was 'a little superstar and she would take her home tomorrow!!'
Taking advice from her, I changed her living arrangements (living out with a field shelter and a companion) and also changed her saddle and things started to come together.
I've now owned her for nearly 6 years and she is my soulmate and will be with me for life.

 

[Tyssandi]

I'm just curious to know as it's the first time for me in the proper horse ownership world. It's been about 7 months now and I still struggle sometimes knowing whether my mare is right for me but I'm quite a negative and anxious person as it is and I have times where all I want is for my old best friend to be in this world with me again.
Although she is on full loan to me and I could give her back at any time, I love her to bits and I want this to work more than anything. She is just so different to what I was riding before and not the kind of horse I'd ever go for. In a way though, it keeps me on my toes, it's never boring and she makes me laugh when she's silly. I think I will be more confident when I feel more balanced when riding her, I'm still getting used to the unpredictability and sharpness. The boy I was on before could spook at something and you wouldn't even notice. I miss him so so much.
I never get back from a ride and think 'god that was awful', I'm always super happy afterwards but I just feel so nervous beforehand. I wish I was more confident naturally. Everything has been going so well since sticking to all the advice I've got from here, I really don't have a lot to be nervous about now and I'm hoping it's just because it takes longer than 7 months or however long to really get used to a new horse.
Anyway, I digress... so when you bought or loaned your horse, how long did it take you to get used to their ways/find out that you are a match? Did you ever doubt yourself and think you've done the wrong thing and it won't work? I would like to hear everyone's success stories please!

Thanks in advance

Every horse is different


My late mare - no time at all 100% honest loving mare
Her son not too long

This New mare I got 2 years ago in July - I am still not used to her and her ways

 

[Ellietotz]

I'm an old pro rider, so it's never been a question of "getting used to": you just have to get on and get on with it. But a very old, experienced trainer once told me that it takes a year to really know a horse, and I would concur with that. I have a new horse that arrived 3 weeks ago, but really I knew she was going to be coming home with me the instant my backside plopped into the saddle.

Thank you. I agree, it's just the learning curve of finding out their quirks and learning to trust them but as pointed out on here, they have to get used to their new rider too which makes me feel mentally on the same level as her in a way so we are both learning!
Your new horse sounds lovely though if it all happened that quickly!

 

[Ellietotz]

It took me about 6 or 7 months to 'click' with my girl. She was originally supposed to be a mother/daughter share and was really my daughters choice rather than mine. However she was a lot greener than we'd been led to believe and thinking she was too much for her my daughter seemed to distance herself after a couple of months - meaning she became mine.
We had a very fraught first 4 or 5 months during which she repeatedly climbed over the stable door, and on one occasion, bolted with me. Thinking I'd bought a 'wrong un' I eventually enlisted the help of a Kelly Marks RA, who after meeting her and working with her for an hour or so said she was 'a little superstar and she would take her home tomorrow!!'
Taking advice from her, I changed her living arrangements (living out with a field shelter and a companion) and also changed her saddle and things started to come together.
I've now owned her for nearly 6 years and she is my soulmate and will be with me for life.

This is lovely. Thank you xx

 

[scats]

I clicked with the Diva as a person almost instantly. The second I got her home, I can honestly say that I was completely in love.

Riding wise, I clicked with her in that I trusted her instantly, but it took me a while to mould her into what I wanted, as she was not only very green, but had some fantastically bad habits (she would lock her jaw when she didn't want to do something and just ram herself into fences and gates). The bond we have is amazing and I genuinely feel like she thinks I'm the centre of the universe. With other horses, I've always had that 'cupboard love' feeling, but she is just so happy to see me all the time, regardless of when it is or what's going on. I just love her so much.

 

[Minnies_Mum]

Oh my goodness, it is such a relief to read these stories! I have had my mare 14 months and feel like we haven't really got to grips with each other yet. I was feeling like if we haven't got it together by now then we never will and she's not right for me. She also has to live up to being second horse after my soulmate pony (still here but 29 now and only goes for the odd plod now and again). It's good to know that we still might get there if we just keep plugging away at it slowly

 

[ponies4ever]

I've had my mare for coming up 2 years now. It took me at least a year to admit that I actually kind of liked her. Before that it was a kind of take it or leave it situation I wouldn't have been fussed either way apart from I'm too stubborn to give up on anything. This autumn/winter was when I finally realised that we have become a proper team. I was sitting on her out hunting for the first time and I realised that I knew her inside out and that she finally fully trusted me. I now would never be without her and haven't felt scared of her in ages and ages despite her temper tantrums and spooks or whatever else because I know her and I absolutely trust that she will come back to me. She is now a truly forever horse for me.

 

[Ellietotz]

I clicked with the Diva as a person almost instantly. The second I got her home, I can honestly say that I was completely in love.

Riding wise, I clicked with her in that I trusted her instantly, but it took me a while to mould her into what I wanted, as she was not only very green, but had some fantastically bad habits (she would lock her jaw when she didn't want to do something and just ram herself into fences and gates). The bond we have is amazing and I genuinely feel like she thinks I'm the centre of the universe. With other horses, I've always had that 'cupboard love' feeling, but she is just so happy to see me all the time, regardless of when it is or what's going on. I just love her so much.

This is so heartwarming! I really really want to have this feeling. Every time I saw my old boy, I would smile uncontrollably without even thinking, it would just happen, I loved him so much and I trusted him with my life. I want more than anything to have this with my mare, I do love her but it's not the same, at the moment anyway. I'm not sure if she's the kind of person that'll be happy to see her human or not but time will tell. She likes her own company and I'm okay with that. It is nice to have a whinny every now and then though (without a bucket in hand! :lol:

 

[indie1282]

Had my two both from foals so for one 11 years and the other 9!

We are all very used to each other and very happy and comfortable together.

My grey has had over 18 months off and last week I bought him in, tacked up, got on and was out down the lane without a backward glance. I think that is a sign of a well bought up, correctly trained horse with a lovely personality who is happy and trusting of me.

I am going to take the credit for that as I backed and trained him myself, I feel I'm allowed to take it!! 😀

 

[Ellietotz]

Oh my goodness, it is such a relief to read these stories! I have had my mare 14 months and feel like we haven't really got to grips with each other yet. I was feeling like if we haven't got it together by now then we never will and she's not right for me. She also has to live up to being second horse after my soulmate pony (still here but 29 now and only goes for the odd plod now and again). It's good to know that we still might get there if we just keep plugging away at it slowly

I just had to post it here to see if it was just me! Seems it's not which is so reassuring. I'm glad it helped, it definitely has for me! I wonder how long we would need to wait to decide if it isn't working or not though but it seems everyone did get there eventually. Good luck, I hope you 'click' soon.

 

[Ellietotz]

I've had my mare for coming up 2 years now. It took me at least a year to admit that I actually kind of liked her. Before that it was a kind of take it or leave it situation I wouldn't have been fussed either way apart from I'm too stubborn to give up on anything. This autumn/winter was when I finally realised that we have become a proper team. I was sitting on her out hunting for the first time and I realised that I knew her inside out and that she finally fully trusted me. I now would never be without her and haven't felt scared of her in ages and ages despite her temper tantrums and spooks or whatever else because I know her and I absolutely trust that she will come back to me. She is now a truly forever horse for me.

Thank you. She sounds like my mare! I'm too stubborn to give up too, I love my mare because she can be super cute but I want to be able to feel confident to get on her and not be worried about her spooking or how bad it might be. It'll probably just come in time and 6/7 months is nothing in comparison to how long the majority of everyone here took to click with their horses!

 

[poiuytrewq]

Current horse I knew anyway but from years ago and he has changed, seemed almost instant. I straight away felt at ease with him and have never been concerned at how he may react or bothered when he does react to something.
Previous horse took far longer