how long does it take to get confidence back

fankino04

fankino04

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So I have had a fair few problems with my youngster all starting with a back injury which was only diagnosed after she threw me off several times, the back issue has re occured several times so there has been lots of stopping and starting which has ruined my confidence. She is not a bad mare just a bit stubborn and nappy but no worse than your average baby but riding her terrified me even when nothing bad happens. Suggestions how long to persevere
 
Hi Fankino,

I'm sorry to say there is no answer to your question. It is different for everyone to regain confidence or trust in your horse if it is lost. I'm sorry to hear that it has happened to you.
I would suggest starting riding somewhere where it is enclosed, possibly have some lessons as it is important for you to be able to relax when riding to give your horse more confidence in you to develop a fluid and trusting partnership. Lessons will also take your mind off thinking about the 'what ifs' and focus you on to improving your riding.

I would then take it from there, If your still uncomfortable about getting on then it may be that the partnership might not be working and you might not be enjoying each others company. At which point a sharer, loan or sent away for schooling (just to get your horses confidnece in riders back up) whilst you look at ways of working on yours.

Sorry I can point you in the direction of a quick fix!!
 
Yeah we have moved to a great new yard with support and can have lessons as often as time and money can afford and am considering having her ridden once a week just to boost her confidence if I can find the extra pennies, I just get so down on myself that I am unable to see the positives or should I say FEEL the positives, I mean she is lovely on the ground, hasn't really tried to throw me off since her back injury but I can't get away from the what ifs....
 
The What ifs will get quieter with time... When I first got Prince I was in my early teens (26 now) and he was my first horse and would put in 13 or 14 bucks in a row down the far side of the school every single time that I rode down it. He was checked and had everything done and there was no reason other than he wanted to. This kept on going for about 6 months, I didn't want to ride, would prefer to do anything other than go in the school (mum wouldn't let me hack as her what ifs were about something happening on the land). I wanted to put him up for sale but ended up learning to ride through it and he grew out of it and 12/13 years later I know pretty much all his quirks. I wouldn't swop him, sell him or let him go anywhere.

The reasons for your horse acting as she has done are down to pain, its understandable, you've now helped fix her issues, keep persevering with it, it will be worth it in the long run. The what ifs will stay but slowly get quieter, there will be some days when they are worse than others.

You could drag a friend into the school with you and get them to give you some free pointers and then you go in with them and give them some pointers, work with poles and cones, keep your mind focused on the work!!
 
Thanks, there are times when I think that I would be better off with a new horse that I don't have a history with and wonder if she would be better off with a confident rider but can't bear to part with her I just know I am not terrified riding anything else
 
I had a younger on loan WVTB for three months (after I had my mare PTS who I loved completely and totally and would do anything with or take anywhere even though she was a complete fruit loop) he frightened the life out of me and I lost my nerve completely it took a lot for me to fess up and admit that
maybe he wasn't the horse for me and I felt pretty low as I thought I was a pretty good rider until that point, along with a lot of guilt about giving up! However, the relief I felt after returning him to his owner was just amazing and I have gone on to buy myself a gorgeous boy who I was petrified about getting on to start with but he was so kind and sweet and I'm beginning to get my confidence back and having so much fun on and actually isn't that what its's all about!
 
Funnily enough I was going to post tonight about this because my confidence is on the floor after a fall a couple of weeks ago. Even though I know he was frightened when he bolted and subsequently dumped me, and he hasn't really put a hoof out of line since then, I just feel the trust between us has gone and I am petrified that he will bolt again. I even cried on a hack yesterday because I was just so frightened even though he hadn't done anything remotely silly. The friends I was hacking with thought I had gone mental! Got a dressage comp on sunday and not sure how we will get through that. Friends tell me it just takes time but its hard isn't it?
 
It took me 6 months to get mine back after a nasty fall and then another 6 months before I was brave enough to push myself out of my comfort zone. You are ready for a fresh start at your new yard, you have seen the worst she can do, so take this as rock bottom and then things can only get better.
Just start at the beginning again and don't push yourself too hard. Do a little bit at a time and things will happen. The worst you can do is rush into doing something you aren't ready for. Your confidence will build slowly as you remember the fun side of riding your horse. The more fun you have the more you will want to do.
I remember the first time I jumped after my accident and I just wanted to do it again - it all came flooding back to me how much I loved it and that sort of kept me going.
 
Only you are in control of your confidence - no one else I am afraid. It is hard, and be cautious whom you tell as many so called friends thrive on someone elses insecurities and will in fact add to them.

Find an instructor you are 100% comfortable with - not one that puts you down or pulls you apart, and not one that tells you, you are brilliant. Someone whom will have the ability to get on and show you if you have a particular mental block.

Go to bed - get up fighting - in the past i have ridden at 5.30 in a morn - just to get it over and done with - as if i rode after work I had all day to build a mountain range out of a molehill !

good luck, you can do it, grit your teeth as i am afraid that others can only give you the information, you have to process it and use if yourself.

GW
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