How long to 'bond' with new horse

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Germolene

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Hi all, just wondering if any of you can share something with me and tell me how long it took you to bond with a new horse?? I retired my older horse about 2 weeks ago and I acquired my new mare, but to be very honest I'm wondering if ill ever 'bond' with her. She's so difficult and just so different from my beloved other horse. I know I've only had her nearly 2 weeks and its obvious she needs time to settle in her new home but I really am beginning to wonder why I bought her :( I did have her on trial at my friends yard before she moved to my yard so it's not like I rushed into anything but I just didn't expect her to be like she is. I knew she needed some tlc and some schooling but she's so difficult. She is very stressy and weaves and is very attached to other horses but she's been in quarantine at new yard for last 2 weeks and been in paddock on her own in the day and then stabled at night. I think she's starting to get used to this routine now but I'm so nervous how she's going to be once she's allowed in the big field with all the other horses. I've got a feeling once she's back in stable at night it'll send her right back to how she was in the 1st week...pacing, weaving, sweating etc.... She just really is a handful. And all I keep thinking is 'I want Pippa (other horse) back' :( :(

Is this normal?

This morning, she ripped the stable door clean off! I just couldn't believe what happened. It wasn't really her fault, the metal hoop on her halter got caught on the bolt of the stable door when I was about to put her out and she panicked, backed up and then reared in the stable and ripped the door off. I just couldn't believe it, a tiny metal hoop got caught on that little hook handle on the bolt, it would only happen to me!! Anyway all I thought was if that was Pippa she would've just stood there so I could sort it.

So, I was just curious if what I was feeling was normal or will i soon begin to like this horse. Bit down in the dumps about it if you can't already tell :(
 
I think it's normal hun. :) I can't speak for your experience but I can tell you about mine.

I bought my mare April last year. It took us a week to get her loaded onto the trailer to bring her home and it really went downhill from there. I knew her before (friends with her old owner) but we just didn't click. She was naughty, stressy and anxious all the time and hard to handle. It didn't help that my husband's mare (her younger sister!) is more dominant than she is, as she was used to being alpha mare. She was turned out 24/7 but I'm pretty sure she would have ripped the stable door off if she was stabled! I can honestly say it took about 5 months for her to settle down (and for us to gel) and another 4 months for her to feel 'mine'. Now we've gelled, she really is one in a million and tries so hard for me. Unfortunately I was out of action most of last year so we may have gelled quicker with more work. Something I found that really helped was just plain old groundwork, coupled with lots of time making a fuss of her.

Please don't worry - it's early days yet and I'm sure you'll have a lovely bond with her. :)
 
Bless her, she sounds like a nervous type anyway, so will probably take longer to settle..

Just give her time, keep riding, grooming and going about the things you want to do. She will come round. And when something "more difficult" does start to trust you and come round it is so rewarding..
 
Chin up could of happened to anyone ( the stabble door ) but i have found it takes about a year to really get to know a horse and really get the bond so give the girl some time she's at a new yard with strange horsey friends and if she has moved twice recently she will be very unsettled as anyone would be.
We bought a little welsh A a few years ago and for 2 months she was a nightmare (i hated her) but she turned out to be the sweetest little pony and won many classes with my daughter and is now very sadly missed (sold as out grown) so give it time :)
 
Hi all and thanks for your responses. I know she needs time and I am being patient with her. She's also very nappy when riding so I don't think she's done much on her own, she needs ALOT of encouragement. I'm sure she'll get there one day, some people say that these difficult horses make the best ones....eventually. Like you said Tuffles 23 with your sec a.

But only time will tell. I was just worried that I was ignoring my instincts and really I should be listening, but it seems its normal to feel this way, so I will carry on :)
 
I've been there and I feel your pain :) Two weeks is no time at all though and I think with mares especially, you've got to be in it for the long haul. Took a good 18 months for me to bond with my mare.

I bought her after loosing my horse of a life time to colic. She was fine when I tried her - got her home and she was so stressy all the time. Wouldn't stand on the yard - even with company, couldn't put her in a stable, bargy to lead, shouting all the time. Riding - well she didn't buck or bolt but she was very nappy. All I kept thinking was my old horse wouldn't of done that :)

That was 3 years ago. We've had lots of ups and downs but... there is a bond there now. She's no longer stressy and I love her to bits. This morning I hacked out with a fellow livery and we had to give her horse a lead over a log and through some mud. I was so proud of her my heart nearly burst :)

Stick at it for longer. Am sure she'll come right in the end. Best of luck :)
 
6 months to a year.

Oh, and as you've found out, NEVER leave a horse with tack or headcollar on even for a second in their stable. The number I know that have broken their doors or headcollars is huge, just be glad it wasn't her neck.
 
Polotash - I didn't leave her with head collar on, I was leading her out of the stable and it got caught on the bolt (very very unlucky) and she instinctively backed up and ripped the door off hinges, it all happened so fast and I couldn't get it free in time.
 
I had my lad 7 years and we never really bonded! (eek - sorry!)
I think it really depends on the horse. Some will start to develop a bond in a month or two, others take a lot longer - in my experience mares are a lot harder to win over, but that may just be me. My mare has been with me for just over 6 months and we're only just starting to really get to know each other, she's a complete stresshead but we're getting there. It does take time, especially following a superstar, but if you try not to put too much pressure into it & enjoy your time together it's quite a nice "getting to know you" experience x
 
Hey, it's great to hear others stories. We actually had a nice time tonight, I just took her for a walk around the yard, she was quite stressy when I first got her out of paddock but she soon realised that instead of being an idiot she could just stand still and munch on the grass whilst I carried on taking to fellow liveries. She even walked into the areas that was a complete no no before, so I know she's starting to trust me a bit more now. It could be completely different when I physch myself up to ride her again! But slowly does it I suppose :)
 
How old is your new mare? What has she done before you bought her? Sounds like you are going forward, successfully atm. Well done!
My Horse of a Lifetime, died two years ago. I loved him so much. We had been together 12 years, and had had a fabulous time. He was a bright bay hunk of muscle and attitude and, although often silly, I always felt safe on him, even when I wasn't!
Two weeks before the old boy was pts after an accident ( self inflicted, hooning round the field with the norty Welsh Sec D,)I had bought a completely emotionally and physically smashed up horse of the same breed, but very different type. I saw him on Gumtree(!) looking at Death's door. Bought him sight unseen, very cheaply and he came off the transport after a 14 hour journey with no rest in a cattle lorry from N. Ireland. He just had such a desolate, hopeless look in his eye, and so emaciated and neglected, I couldn't leave him there.
Two years later, he is a stunning, beautiful horse, talent, intelligence and manners to burn and adored by all. I am just beginning to bond with him. He is different in every way, physically, mentally and emotionally. I appreciate him greatly, but still miss the old boy dreadfully. If I could have him back, old, physically sometimes a bit dodgy, mentally knife sharp and quirky, spooky and opinionated, I would in a nanosecond.
 
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Lost horse of lifetime in April. Bought new boy in July, just starting to bond now (love him to bits despite being a VERY norty boy, but forgive him cos' he's a baby :D)
 
I regretted buying my current pony at first, but several months later I'm very fond of him and he won't be going anywhere. We just needed to learn each other's ways. he was very anxious on and off the yard to the point of being scary. Now he's like a different animal, although still full of 'personality'.
 
I'd say 6-12 months too?

When we bought my ex racer last year he came as a potential project (buy, reschool and sell on) ... he had no interest in people whatsoever probably due to his previous life (raced for 4 years) and even an apple he'd look at in confusion ... he'd been stuck in a field since he came out of racing and had been classed as 'dangerous'. You had to treck miles to catch him - he wouldnt even look up when out in the field. Such a shock as my arab is the sweetest thing and its like having a large dog following you everywhere and interested in everything you do ... he'd just stand there gazing into space and paying no interest whatsoever. So thought it'd be quite easy for me to pass on in the future.

Skip forward 6 months - he'd slowly come round - would slowly wander down the field when he saw me (although probably just following arab who cames at a thundering pace) and kind of showing some interest ...

Skip forwards to now (12 months on) and he also now comes cantering down the field whinneying and although a little grumpy he's now part of the family.

Needless to say ... he isnt going anywhere haha :rolleyes:
 
I'm so glad I'm not on my own here. My new mare is settling down slightly, she went in the big field today and was galloping round, there was only 1 slight altercation with the current pack leader but my mare told her off and she went packing! I know my mare is a dominant character so she won't take any messing about that's for sure! I'm dreading trying to catch her later lol. And how she's going to react when in her stable away from her newly made friends??!!?

Next week I'll have to start doing some work with her, no point in having a horse that I can't ride especially when I retired my old horse in order to get new one. :/
 
Dont take it personally if she doesnt come in for a few days - my previously mentioned arab will ignore me for at least two weeks and will refuse to come in when a new 'playmate' arrives ... took it personally at first now I just leave her to it :D
 
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