How long would you say it took you to bond with your horse . . . and why?

PolarSkye

PolarSkye

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I've been thinking about this quite a bit . . . I keep reading all the posts from folks on here who have relatively new horses and thinking back to when we first bought Kal and all the bumps in the road, challenges, etc., and I can honestly say that NOW we have a bond/mutually respectful relationship. I can't tell you exactly when it happened, but I can tell you that it took considerably longer than I ever anticipated it would.

Don't get me wrong . . . I was hugely emotional when we picked Kal up . . . and very fond of him from the very beginning, but boy did he test me . . . and, in the beginning, I failed some of those tests miserably which led to him being a tad bad mannered.

Now . . . he respects me . . . does as he's told, doesn't barge, doesn't tow me around the yard, doesn't swing his bum into me, comes when I call him (although that's mostly down to there not being alot of grass in the field and he knows there's yummy food in his stable), moves away from me when asked, stands when asked (most of the time) and actually trusts me to take care of him.

In short, he knows where the boundaries are . . . and doesn't love me any less for knowing where they are (in fact, I'd argue our relationship is stronger because of those boundaries . . . funny that!).

So.

How long did it take for you to really bond with your horse? Were you a novice owner like me? Is/was your horse a pushover or an opinionated so and so (like Kal)? If so, did you have help learning how to "man up"?

P

P.S. We bought Kali two years ago in January . . . but 6 months of that was when he was on full livery and therefore out of my control/not handled daily by me . . .
 
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i don't have an answer yet as i have only had mine for 4 weeks. he was pretty underfed when i got him, and although he does not pull me round, or barge in any which way, he must be feeling good off all the adlib hay i have been coming as he has started to run away when i try and catch him from the field :( hoping this is a blip and he will grow out of it and learn that being ridden is fun after having the last 10 weeks off work! :) wish me luck! hehe
 
I loved him straight away but I only feel like I've bonded with him and him with me for about the last eight months (had him since sept 2010).

A few reasons for this, one is that he's big so he feels like alot of horse, especially on the ground. He is quite sensitive so he needs you to be confident and he needs boundaries. He is also cheeky/naughty but he'd never hurt you and now I know this I trust him more.

Also I held off from getting too attached as I was still very upset after loosing my mare. However how can you not fall head over heels in love with this.....

photo-4.jpg
 
Instantly. Looked over the stable door and saw this...

DSCF5290.jpg


She marched over and shoved her nose straight into my pocket. I was so close to her mum though that I think Ruby just got used to me. Sure, she's a pain in the backside, but how can you not love her when she was once so cute?!
 
Oh my god she's gorgeous.....

I'll hold my hand up with B and say that he scared me initially however I could see what he could become with some ground rules set in place xx
 
Solo1 said:
Instantly. Looked over the stable door and saw this...

DSCF5290.jpg


She marched over and shoved her nose straight into my pocket. I was so close to her mum though that I think Ruby just got used to me. Sure, she's a pain in the backside, but how can you not love her when she was once so cute?!
Click to expand...

Oh good God, that is the cutest thing ever!

However . . . I fell in love with Kal the moment I saw his big dark eyes staring out of that polar bear face when we drove onto the yard to try him . . . but actually bonding with him - having him trust me and me trusting him - took much, much longer.

He certainly didn't arrive respecting me . . . and in the early days (weeks/months) I did little to engender much respect (numpty novice owner and all that). Now, though, he totally gets who is in charge and is the softest, sweetest, most obliging boy (most of the time . . . he does still have a cheeky side - which is why he nips at my jacket when I'm doing his rugs up to turn him out - never skin, only jacket - and, yes, he gets told off - and if it's not the jacket, it's the windowsill/frame in his stable - he just has to show his frustration/have the last word - I didn't say he was perfect ;)).

P
 
well I have had my new boy 3 mths now got to say finding it real hard to bond after losing my mare last may after 12 yrs of a really brilliant bond on the ground and ridden . think I'm holding back I don't want to be hurt again, I suppose once I have got to grips with riding him the bond might come I hope ... on the ground he is respectful which is nice x
 
I haven't had Red long, since June 2011 and it's only now that i am noticing a real bond. These are a few silly points, but:-

  • He used to take a few steps when called then give up, now he will come all the way.
  • When i first got him he kicked / knee'd me in the face for playing with his beard, now he finds my fingers running through it quite relaxing!
  • I can cuddle him, he never used to let me wraps my arms round him.
  • When i'm in the field checking for rubbish etc he will keep other boisterous horses away from me (not sure if this is a bond or more male domination!)
  • I can muck him out with him still in the stable, might not seem much (and some might scold me) but he never used to let me, a shavings fork and barrow in his bed with him. Now he stands there happily supervising and smelling the poo that i fill the barrow with!

He didnt like me though when i recently stuck a thermometer up his backside, i'm still working on that element of trust :D
 
Dizzydoo - the dun mare in my foal pic up there was the one I got after losing my previous horse. It took me about a year and a half to properly bond with her - though mainly because she was an absolute bugger :P She would plant and not move, bolt, spook then nap and rear, drop her shoulder. Then after about a year and half I looked back and realised that somehow it had all stopped, we'd bonded and I couldn't pinpoint when. It'll come, give it time :)

I think now I could bond with anything because I'm a sentimental bat. But those foaly eyes had me from the word go ;)
 
It took me a year and I thought it would be quicker....its one of those things that I wish I had known his back ground as a lot of it was just speculation. I would love to have a crystal ball and look back to see where he came from, who owned him, and about him being driven. I think this is why he is happy on the road, as soon as his feet hit tarmac he is very comfortable in all traffic and noise(helicoptors,planes looping the loop, hot air balloons, shotguns etc).

I remember telling my RI that it took me a long time as I had my ups and downs with him.
 
I bonded with Koko my old horse instantly, he was amazing! I never clicked with a horse like with him and everyone commented on how we gelled well together.

It took my about 6 months with my current lad, I always felt he was special from day 1 but in the last couple of months I feel we have really gelled and I really look forward to the future with him.
 
Quite quick. After about 3 months I felt we had a "good" bond, I've had him now for just over 5 months and things are just getting better and better. I trust him, he trusts me. I think it helps that he was unbroken and hadn't had much done with him when I bought him. Having done that work, I think the bond is stronger.
 
My boy was difficult to begin, first month my mum wanted to send him back but as I paid for him she moaned about handling him. He used to be an arse to rug, feed, hated being caught and so on. Everyone at the yard hated him but me I saw something in him.

We had a good connection and bonded in the first year. But looking back now and the yards he has been at its been since he has been at my yard now (4years had him 7years) that we are 100%bonded but I mean the type where u know each other inside.

Lots of people say they would love to have what we have and it's a one in a million.
 
Just over a year with both of mine, and I have to say I'm not sure I've massively 'clicked' with one of them either. We have a good bond but my bond with my oldie is just so strong that everything else pales in comparison.
 
A year... maybe longer.

Got him because my auntie no longer wanted him as he threw several people off at home. He was massively overweight and had no manners whatsoever. Hated him for a long, long time and he really tested me as to whether he was really worth my time and effort.

After a few months he dropped the weight and started behaving but still didn't feel we were quite *there* ...

Cue two years later and after my lesson yesterday I twisted his reins up and he followed me back and forth whilst I cleared all of the jumps away. And he whinnies to me whenever he sees me, dinner time or not. Love the boy with every bit of my heart and I would like to think he feels the same!
 
Apercrumbie said:
Just over a year with both of mine, and I have to say I'm not sure I've massively 'clicked' with one of them either. We have a good bond but my bond with my oldie is just so strong that everything else pales in comparison.
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I think that's because the bond keeps getting stronger the longer you have them. People who sell horses on after a year or two are missing out on SO much.
 
Wagtail- completely agree, People always say to me I should get myself something new and I can compete higher with but I just couldn't replace him, our bond is more important than anything.
 
It took me about a year (to be fair, I was only really riding him once a week) to bond with Neddy.
At first I HATED him, I couldn't stand to ride him, never mind just tacking him up.
But since I was the only one who wouldn't make a fuss with the horse I was put on, I rode him more and more and I slowly fell in love :) I think he's just coming around to really trust me, but we're getting there!
 
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