How much should assist absent livery?

[Carlos's Mum]

My daughter in law is an extremely busy lady. She also helps look after her . Itsdaughter's horse whilst she is at Uni. Another livery lives quite a distance away and has small children. Only turns up to yard 2 or 3 times a week (unless its nice and sunny!) Almost expects Liz to fetch the horse in, fill and give it haynet, water etc. Sometimes she asks for other chores to be done too. This is not practical for Liz to do and she has told her so but its hard to leave a horse out if its raining hard at the end of the day etc. The lady thinks she's a soft touch.can you advise. They are the only 2 liveries at the yard. Owner turns our each morning but she has small children and works too

 

[SO1]

Sounds like there is the owner who turns out the horses in the morning and then liveries your DIL, grand daughter and other lady. Liveries responsible for doing stables and catching in.

Owner, DIL, and other livery all busy so can't help each other out with catch in and stable duties without it being a major inconvenience.

What they need is a freelance groom or to move to a yard with more help. DIL needs to speak to owner of the stables and the other livery say she can no longer help the other livery any more and suggest perhaps other livery finds a free lancer to help her perhaps owner may know someone.

 

[Red-1]

I would simply drop her a text, so it is in writing, with something along the lines of, "It has been lovely to be able to help you out with your horse, but I am feeling overwhelmed and won't be able to do this any more." You could also suggest a freelancer, but I wouldn't go into the realms of finding one as then you are still taking responsibility and it would probably then bounce back when she decided that the freelancer was deficient in some way.

If she neglects the horse then inform the BHS/RSPCA/ yard owner. You may be surprised that the horse isn't suffering if left in the rain, especially if it isn't groomed much. They were designed to live outside.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Sorry there’s a typo on the first line and I can’t work out the relationship between your DIL and the horse’s owner who is away at Uni. That might make a difference to advice.

 

[Highmileagecob]

If this is DIY livery, then it needs to be said very firmly, to the owner, that no-one is prepared to look after your horse and perhaps you need to move him closer to home. If it is paid livery, then it should not fall to your daughter in law to run round patching up the care.
Tell the yard owner that the horse is not being cared for properly, and ask YO what she is going to do about it!
If it were me, I would not worry about upsetting the owner, the horse's care should be a priority.

 

[Carlos's Mum]

My DIL cares for her daughter's horse whilst daughter is at uni.

 

[Palindrome]

So the owner is happy to leave the horse out but your DIL brings him in if it is raining?
Does the horse have shelter, water and food (grass or hay) out?

 

[Wishfilly]

I think it's definitely for the YO to deal with- unless an emergency, I would suggest your daughter just doesn't get involved any more.

What happens if she's asked to do favours and she responds with "Sorry, I can't."

 

[ihatework]

Not your DILs problem. Simply stop doing the horse

 

[PipsqueakXy22]

My daughter in law is an extremely busy lady. She also helps look after her . Itsdaughter's horse whilst she is at Uni. Another livery lives quite a distance away and has small children. Only turns up to yard 2 or 3 times a week (unless its nice and sunny!) Almost expects Liz to fetch the horse in, fill and give it haynet, water etc. Sometimes she asks for other chores to be done too. This is not practical for Liz to do and she has told her so but its hard to leave a horse out if its raining hard at the end of the day etc. The lady thinks she's a soft touch.can you advise. They are the only 2 liveries at the yard. Owner turns our each morning but she has small children and works too

does the other lady expect her horse to be kept in or is she happy leaving it out (like on grass livery)? If I were your DIL I’d just tell her she can’t do it anymore. He may just have to stay out but as long as he has appropriate coat and some trees/ shelter I’m sure he’ll be fine, unfortunately I don’t think the livery will ever stop taking advantage if your DIL just keeps doing it but hopefully she’ll get the message eventually

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

There are many horse owners out there that expect the more that they get done for them the more that they expect to be done for them. They also expect that a yard owner should subsidise their horse ownership. It appears that you are having to do more & more for these owners and you shouldn't be doing it for them. You are using your time when you could be doing your horses or doing what you want to do but can't because of these poor owners. You need to make a list of prices for doing various horse jobs for them as a groom would. Turnout, bring in,. pick out hooves, do waters, much out stables, fill & hand hay nets, sort out feeds, poo pick, top up waters or just tell them no & let them sort out their horses or leave & gho to another yard. Don't let yourself be walked over so all your time is spent sorting out other horses than yours. Your time is as valuable as they think theirs is. Don't subsidise their horse ownership.

 

[LadyGascoyne]

I would text to say “just to let you know, I’m finding that life is getting busier and busier so I need to manage my time a bit more strictly. I am going to have to focus on doing Daughter’s Horse so won’t be able to do Your Horse when I’m down at the yard.”

If you can add the number for a local freelancer, that might be a nice touch. It does sound like both liveries and the YO could use a bit of help.

It is worth her double checking with daughter to check that she doesn’t share chores with the other livery when she’s not at Uni.

 

[SEL]

Put a price list up and start charging!

 

[Pinkvboots]

Just say you don't have time to constantly be doing there horse end of you don't need to offer an explanation.

 

[Ambers Echo]

Ok so no relation between your DIL and the other livery? Just say no. And make sure YO is aware.

 

[sunnyone]

Are you sure DiL is not using extra horse chores to avoid doing other things, or perhaps make herself feel that bit more needed?
I know I'd much rather do anything with a horse than have to help out at say a jumble sale!

 

[Arzada]

Almost expects Liz to fetch the horse in, fill and give it haynet, water etc. Sometimes she asks for other chores to be done too. This is not practical for Liz to do and she has told her so but its hard to leave a horse out if its raining hard at the end of the day etc.

I don't understand the 'almost expects' Has she asked for her horse to be brought in? And if Liz has told her that she isn't bringing in then she needs to stick to this, rain or no rain. She's adding to the problem by not sticking to her decision and neither of them know what is what.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Is the horse left alone out in the rain? Does the horse gallop around or behave as if it will injure itself if it is left out?

 

[cold_feet]

Is the horse left alone out in the rain? Does the horse gallop around or behave as if it will injure itself if it is left out?

If so then surely it is the YOs responsibility to deal with the issue, not another livery?

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I don't know the set up of the yard. The one I was at previously, no. The YO was a busy farmer who essentially had nothing to do with the horses. He filled the hay feeder, mended the fences etc... but no handling of the horses themselves.

I personally couldn't leave a distressed horse out. However I don't know if this horse is distressed. Maybe it's fine?

 

[MagicMelon]

Id start charging. Just knock up a really quick price list (bring in £2, feed £2 etc.) and send it to her, I bet she wont ask anymore.

 

[The Jokers Girl]

I never think of it as helping a livery but helping a defenceless horse who can't help itself so am always a soft touch. Animals don't chose their useless owners. Could your DIL wither agree a charging structure with her or agree job swaps.
Failing that YO are responsible for welfare of animals om their property so maybe should have a word about what is expected otherwise she'll have to move, which may prompt owner to sell horse to a more suitable, loving home.