How much worse can things get :(

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happyhacking:)

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So tonight the night that has been coming for weeks and weeks has finally happened. I'm broke, homeless and got two unsellable horses.

Had a really rough few months with my mare being poorly and whilst she is insured the insurance company won't pay for transport to and from the horsepital. Which has now amounted into the best part of £1000. Added to my feed bills trebling in the past couple of months and the seemingly endless things said mare needs means I'm now at the max of my overdraft. :(
Her condition makes her unsellable even if someone would take her on I wouldn't do it to her. The other is not fully halter broken yet and whilst adorable he is of little value money wise. Nor would I even conceive of selling either of them. Both are on grass livery so fairly cheap to keep from that perspective.

Work is horrendous I have a bullying control freak for a team leader and an incompetent management who as of yet have failed to sort anything out. Add in the fact that im on min wage and barely doing full time hours as it is. To make matters even worse work is miles from both home and the horses are even further away from work but I can't move the horses nor have I had any luck finding a job closer to the horses.

Then to to it all off I've just had a row with my dad who has told me that he wants me out of the house and so tonight I packed two bags of stuff and left. I'm. Now crashing with a mare tonight. God knows what I'm gonna do from here in in though.

Pointless ranting post I know but needed to get it off my chest before I go crazy and completely crack up. :(
 
Oh dear. I'm afraid I don't have anything useful to say but didn't want to read and then not reply. I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time and I hope things get better for you soon. Hopefully your dad will calm down and you'll be able to straighten that out at least. Big hugs xx
 
This all sounds horrendous and I'm sorry you are going through this tough time. As above poster said, I don't feel right reading and not responding, although I don't have anything constructive to add. Best wishes your way, x
 
As someone who also lives with parents, I also can't offer any practical help, but I can send you a big hug!! and vibes for things improving from here on in...
 
Stay positive and be proactive! 3 years ago we were homeless with 3 small children, 1 teenager, 14 horses, 35 hens, 6 geese, 2 dogs and a cat. We were moving to a bigger smallholding and it all fell through 2 weeks before we were due to move. 3 days before the move I bumped into a friend who I hadn't seen in years in a petrol station, within an hour I had livery at a massive discount for all 14 horses, the hens and the geese and we moved in with my brother until we could rent a house big enough for all of us. One dog stayed with us, the other went to my ex's along with teenager and cat. I had been absolutely distraught and frightened of the future, it all came right and we managed. You will too but you need to be strong and focus on what you have to do.

Is it worth speaking to your dad to see if he will give you some time, or even to try and make up with him, even if you have to swallow your pride. With regards to work, is there a bullying policy in place, it is an awful situation but legally the management have to put a stop to it, take some legal action if necessary, join the union if you have one and get some support.
 
Sounds pretty bad :-( Hope you get sorted soon. Try ACAS website for work problems. Does you Dad often blow up then calm down again? Any friends you could stay with? Could your horses manage without hard feed? Most coud at this time of year. Good luck x
 
I'm I'n a very similar situation to you. I have applied for every full time job under the sun with no luck, am currently doing 22hrs a week at Tesco for pittance. My husband is paying for virtually everything. Both cc's are maxed out, my over draft is totally out and again this month we don't have enough money to pay for everything we need to. I feel your pain and know where your at. If you want an ear to listen pm as if your feeling anything like me it's all just too much x
 
Thanks everyone feel better just having got it out in the open.

Not sure about trying my dad tbh he is going through a bout of depression (though he won't ever admit it) and he's been horrid to live with for months. Even if he did calm down it would flare up again in a few weeks. Living on eggshells is doing me no good. Both my horses need me calm a nd focused now more than ever.

My mare has been really poorly and has lost a lot of weight hense the large feed bill and a fair quantity is being wasted as on many days she either refuses to eat or will only eat certain things. She is also still having hay as grass is affecting her illness and making her worse. The little one isn't hard fed or given hay.

The work situation will ultimately result in me leaving sooner rather than later I just need to find another source of income closer to the horses.

I've crashed at a mates tonight and will see what happens tomorrow. Im supposed to be going away for the weekend to a horse event but not sure what with everything going on however I could use the time away.

Thanks again for your support though guys.
 
Sounds like both yourself and your father are stressed, not a good combination when worrying about your mare.
When my daughter was at college and had not a penny spare, she worked in the college bar, to get a social life and joined the Territorial army, got paid for having fun and TA put her through her HGV license, she now has a full set of driving licences and really hasn't looked back.
Good luck though, not a nice place to be in
 
Gosh what a nightmare. Im so sorry. Ive been having a moan about my horse situation recently, You put me to shame.
The only suggestion i can think of is to look for a horsey job? Years ago i became broke and felt at risk of looking my horse. I too was unable to find work close to home and had to travel to my horse. I scoured job ads and found work at a riding centre a hundred miles away but accomodation provided, bills paid and my horse came too for free.
I dont know if that may be your thing but maybe something to consider as it ticks three boxes and there's less limit to area as you can relocate rather than travel daily.
Big hugs, I wish i could help xx
 
Much as I'd live to work with horses full time as a larger lady I don't think there would be many places that would really employ me. In addition my mare can't really be moved at the mo as she has an auto immune disorder and is having lots of steroids that suppress her immune system plus stress is a huge factor in her illness. Hopefully something will come up . If not I'll be camping in the field with the horses!
 
Rent a room. It's a lot cheaper than renting a flat and bills are usually included. If you work 30hrs or more look at claiming tax credit if your earnings are low enough (at min wage they probably are), if working less than 30hrs then depending on earnings you may be able to get a little housing benefit to help with rent, its a sliding scale. Sell anything you can to pay off the overdraft so you're not wasting money paying interest to the bank. If you work days could you get an evening job too?
 
Oh dear, well im a big believer in everything happens for a reason, and things can only get better. Try and stay positive, i know its hard but things will turn around and more than likely for the better.
Get yourself down the local council office, im sure if your declared homeless they put you up in a B&B until a place becomes available. Its worth asking about if means you have a roof over your head, Oh and go to Citizens Advice they can point you in the right direction in sorting out benefits, your bank and your employers! Chin up and keep smiling :)
 
Sorry you are having a tough time. If its any consolation ime sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, & on the bright side if you hit rock bottom you can only go up. No advice to add really, but try & focus on where you want to be in 5yrs rather than how bad it is now so you don't end up depressed too. And don't rule out horse jobs, being bigger might rule out some riding jobs but not all require riding so if you are otherwise ok for one its worth a look.
 
You are having a tough time. I am not one to suggest taking time off work willy nilly but go to the Doc and get signed off for 2 weeks due to the bullying. This will give you time to sort yourself out, give you a break from the work hassle and will flag up with work that you are serious about the bullying and how it is affecting you.

Take a long hard look at your mare and your trebled feed bills. I have been there with a horse I was chucking absolutely everything at and money was just pouring down the drain and the horse was still losing weight. I was in a panic about it and trying to sort it too quickly. It may be a long haul back to full condition for her and you could reserve some money now to enable you to keep going for longer.

The only thing I can offer is some Thunderbrook supplement for your mare (for free :) - my horse died :( and I hate to see it going to waste).
 
Thanks for all the replies guys. Knowing I have some support has really helped.

With regards to the tax credits I'm not old enough to get them yet (you have to be over 25 or have kids). Same with the housing there is no way I would get it for free. Think I may end up on a caravan for a bit but there are a lot worse places to be and it would be right next to the horses.
 
I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice, but could you try the CAB, or your council, there might be some sort of scheme to help you out short term.

I sincerely do hope you are able to get yourself sorted out.
 
happyhacking:) said:
With regards to the tax credits I'm not old enough to get them yet (you have to be over 25 or have kids). Same with the housing there is no way I would get it for free. Think I may end up on a caravan for a bit but there are a lot worse places to be and it would be right next to the horses.
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As a young, single person, it would be very unlikely you would generate enough points for housing by a local authority but you don't have to be over 25 to claim housing benefit. You would only be able to claim for a room in shared accommodation or bedsit rather than a one + bedroom flat... Plus you'd need a landlord willing to take on a DSS client but the local authority should hold a list of private renters... It is *always* worth applying for even if the award is likely to be fairly small as receipt of housing benefit can be an indicator for awards with such things as NHS Health Costs which uses a similar calculation, Council Tax, PDSA qualification for small pet treatment and other bits and bobs...

Use this link to access your local authority website in England or the links on the page for Scotland, NI or Wales... You can apply on line for most now but it would probably be best to make an appt with a housing officer and get some advice about recommended private landlords first...

Try the Entitled to - Benefits Calculator. It's pretty easy to navigate and suitable for most people except students, under 18's, Expats etc... If you're on a low wage and really up the creek without a paddle, you may also be able to apply for a Crisis Loan from the DSS - you do not have to be in receipt of benefits but the 'emergency' criteria can be strict...

I would also recommend contacting your local CAB to see if they have a Welfare Rights Advisor you can make an appt with... Just don't go yelling about having horses as so many people still presume you must be very financially comfortable to afford one or you'll probably be advised to sell...;) Get some advice on here for economical feeding options to try and cut some costs too... You don't say how old you are but if you're still a teenager you may find you fall under certain benefit rules anyway...

As a parent...I'd also say try and keep lines of communication open with your dad in some way... Although I'm aware it's not always an easy option...:)

If I can help any further, please don't hesitate to PM...

PS...I forgot the workplace issues as that's really not my thing but I would definitely second the suggestion of contacting ACAS if you feel your employer is not following their grievance policy correctly or genuine bullying is being ignored...

:)
 
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