How should I react....How would you react?

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YummyHorses

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I have been in the unfortunate position with 2 of my horses being unwell recently. Good news is that they are improving and we think or believe we are very close to understanding the issue and therefore being able to sort it out.

Understandably, I have had a considerable amount of contact with my vet recently. I have had a really good relationship with them over the year or so they have been looking after my horses, trust them, do everything they say, rarely question or probe, just take their word for it and get on with it. Oh and always pay on time.

However my hubby made a reasonable point about our plans for the treatment of our poorly horses and as I was in London working I asked him to put it down in email to me so I could forward to the vet. I sent this on to my vet late one evening this week by email, just saying 'have a read and when you get a minute, give me a call'.

I got a call this morning..........they were incensed by my mail, felt I was calling into question their clinic judgement, they trust my husband has a clinical or medical background to call into question the plans made, patronised by the content of the email, feels that they have held my hand over the last few weeks and in the world of vets you would never email and if you did it would be by formal email starting 'dear'.

I struggled not to hang up but remained professional and simply advised them that it was a simple email which required a fairly simple response. And that there are ways and means of looking after your customers and this wasn't one of the ways in my view.

Trouble is it has really bothered me. I am no muppet, I run a successful firm and have to deal with clients all the time and frankly feel that my vet has acted inappropriately, treated with me with little respect and I am not sure I want to continue the relationship. My husband certainly doesn't want to.

I wouldn't mind if I felt that they had a point but I have not troubled them over the weeks other than arranged appointments, the comment made about holding my hand is damn right incorrect and to be honest how bloody dare they come on the phone to me on my one and only day off in god knows how long to be spent with my kids and be so rude.

Sorry.....am ranting.....but what would you guys do? Carry on as you know they are a good vet and that's what counts or go elsewhere? Just not sure I am able to be civil to them next time I see them.

Sorry everyone for it being so long but I do feel a bit better now!
 
I have to say none of my vets use email either, although on occasions I've phoned them to tell them I'm emailing a photo of an injury that I'd like them to look at (or something along those lines) and whichever vet I sent it to normally phones me back and advises. I've never sent an email questioning any treatment suggested though, I always phone and speak to the vet if I have any queries. I can't exactly grasp what was said in your email but it sounds like you were critical of what they're doing? And didn't agree with the plans made? If this is the case then I can sort of understand why they were irked by it rather than having you phone them and discuss it.
 
Well I agree. I certainly was not expecting it and when I saw the name come up on my phone I was all jolly and pleased they were calling.....don't normally have this sort of effect on people. I am fairly easy going!

It was just outlining my husbands view - not in any way calling into question what had been done or what was planned. It was actually recommending additional bloods be taken to be sure on something. No cutting of fees or reducing the vets income in any way.
 
Honestly? I think you need to take a step back and perhaps deconstruct the email and see if you can se why the vet has taken such offence. It seems an extreme reaction so there must be something behind it. Then, difficult as is may be you need to meet with the vet and decide how to proceed.
 
Must admit I would feel pretty peed off too if I were you. A veterinary practice is a business and you are the client, if you have a query about your horses treatment, then you are totally entitled to raise this with your vet and he should respond professionally and rationally. What you got was a totally unprofessional and irrational response, which was completely uncalled for!
 
Its impossible to comment without knowing what you said in the e mail and the treatment and future plans that you'd already decided on with them. It sounds like you are both incredibly angry with each other, so something big must have happened/been said. You say that you feel that you haven't been treated with respect, and it sounds as though they feel the same. Something in the e mail lit the fuse.. I can't think that I'd ever e mail my vet, I usually just phone up and have a chat. It does sound slightly as though you're expecting a business relationship with a vets, which doesn't really happen. Its usually less formal.

I'd give it a couple of days to calm down, then ring and have a chat - tell them you're upset, but don't want to lose them as a vet - can you work things out together... Be sure that there is another surgery around that is as good/you like, or you could be cutting off your nose spite your face..
 
That's weird I can't think want they were thinking the comment about holding your hand is plain weird . It's simple you move to another practice, pay want ever is outstanding for this month and move vets are extremely expensive and we are customers and should be treated as such.
Can you work out what in the email got such a strong reaction from them? I would so tempted to go and see them after all it's part of their job to answer concerns from customers about management of the horses under their care but it's best probally to walk away OMG I would so cross if I were you.
 
I would be very annoyed - initially... Then I'd read the email I'd sent again and see if/how it could be interpreted in such a way.

The reference to 'Dear' is archaic and not relevant to emails, but I do know certain sectors who would insist on such a form of address, but that's in the world of business.

As to emailing vets. I've emailed the main vets at the big equine centres and never encountered an issue with any of them. They have replied by phone or email, as appropriate at the time.
 
Have always rung the vet to have a chat, perhaps you may have rephrased the e-mail that they took it as critisism,when none was intended, so ring them up tomorrow and clear the air or move to another vet clinic if you aren't happy.
 
In business today, batting emails back and forth is the done thing and accepted practice. I, personally, wouldn't communicate with my vets this way as it's not the way they work - rightly or wrongly. I do think though, their response to you was unprofessional and unnecessary and understand why you feel aggrieved.
 
No Spring Feather - not at all. I was not calling into question what we have done or plan to do, just a simple shall we add this to it, would it add any value as we would be happy to do it even though it costs more. I am not an arrogant what not, I know they are the expert that's why I use them!

They have asked me to email in the past, that's why I emailed. It wasn't a major urgent issue, more an observation so thought email was best. In my world........we email. Kinda normal forum for such matters.

And they are a one person band so sometimes when you call they are rushed or with another customer or indeed driving. Thought by emailing they could respond when it was good for them.
 
my vet is totally fine about me emailing him, and i text him. And he is absolutely fine with me questioning his decisions and is secure enough to take on board what I am saying and deal with it in a professional manner. I will often email him or text him as it is not easy to get him on the phone during the day, and it can be tricky to get hold of me as I teach so email and text is perfectly normal. I personally would be speaking to the senior partner about the conversation and making sure they realise that that behaviour is totally unacceptable. If you are confident that your vet is the best available in your area, then you have to decide if you are prepared to just ignore the behaviour. If i had no real choice of vet then I would need to talk to my vet and explain my concerns and get them to explain their point of view. I have only come across one vet who was similar to yours, and he shouted at me ' are you questioning my treatment' my response 'no i am questioning the complete lack of diagnosis'. he refused to tell me how he reached a diagnosis and the one he came to was not supported by any of the xray/scan results. I walked away and refused to pay my bill. He never chased. Some vets need to get off their high horse, they are men not gods, life in 2011 requires emails to work and owners who question vets are absolutely interested in the wellbeing of their horse and should be embraced rather than alienated for daring to question.
 
I would be very careful before you react at all.

I got annoyed with a vet over whether one of ours should be operated on at Liverpool or wait weeks to be done at their own surgery (same surgeon I just had to wait for him to have time to come out)

At the time I was very annoyed by their attitude. However I got my own way and the horse is fine now.

I did consider trying somewhere else but I was happy with their expertise and the way they had looked after the horses before (and after)

Perhaps moving elsewhere would be cutting off your nose to spite your face, for the sake of your horses you might be better letting this go.

I would just put it down to a different way of looking at things, and start your emails with Dear Sir/Madam/God
 
Crikey - so many responses so thanks everyone.

Kinda mixed thoughts.....I have looked and looked again and looked one more time just to be sure and asked myself the question if I had received it would I be upset and I cant see anything. That said I am a tough old bird and work with banks in the city so probably have very thick skin!!!

As mentioned though, it was my hubby who wrote the email and he is an old softy. It was written in a very logical way, clear, concise and even ended with a joke about baked beans so was not in any way aggressive.

All I know is that I have never been spoken to in that way by a vet before and I always work really hard to build good working relationship with all people surrounding my horses. I am diplomatic, can communicate, have a brain and am a bloody paying customer.....and that should count.
 
You have really got me thinking yummy horses why on earth would they do that? Where you in business mode when you wrote the email ? If so perhaps it came over differently to your normal non work self. Even so I would never forgive the holding hand comment from someone you will probally have paid £1000's as you have two poorly horses at the moment and I can just imagine what your husband is saying as mine would refuse to give them another penny I mean you would not buy another dress from a shop where they were rude to you would you.
 
Spring Feather said:
Just one other thing, was it the actual vet who phoned you back or the receptionist?? I have come across jumped-up receptionists before at some vet practices.
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good point. The receptionist at my old practise was terrible, total power complex.

re the emails. I email my vet, my vet emails me, doesnt seem to be a problem. Vet emailed me out of the blue this week gone casually asking how a horse is that was injured a couple of months ago, maybe its a generational thing?
 
@Rockysmum - Just love the Dear God - might try that......I nearly fell over when they said that my email should have started with Dear! I felt like saying where have you been for the last 20 years!!

@SpringFeather - it was the vet. They dont have a receptionist.

@Goldenstar - that really irritated me. Holding my hand....the only people that hold my hand are my kids and on occasions when he can be bothered my hubby!!!

To everyone else - thanks. I still dont know what to do. I certainly will not compromise my horses welfare and care for the sake of a spat but on the other hand it needs to be good relationship between all parties otherwise that could have a negative impact. And yep on the money side of things - I have paid thousands over recent months and recognising one man band always pay on time, sometimes ahead of time. Guess if I am honest, I feel a bit hurt by it all. Kinda thought my relationship was a good one.
 
He he on the baked beans.....well it made me laugh when I read it. My hubby is not horsie at all and could only explain his thinking by using two tins of baked beans as an analogy!!!

Maybe they dont like baked beans, maybe thats the problem, may they are a spaghetti hoops person....
 
I think my response would depend on who exactly spoke to you on the phone. You say that this is a one man practice, I think. So did you speak to the vet, an administrator/
receptionist or a nurse?
Even if the vet felt aggrieved by your suggestion, it certainly isn't his place to correct your e-mailing style, any more than it would be to correct your spelling & grammar if you wrote a letter.
As I assume that you have been billed for all the 'hand-holding', I'd be cross in your position too.
As others have said, I think your next move depends on how much you value the services of this practice and what the others in your area are like. Only you know that really.
I have certainly changed vet practices before, absolutely refuse to deal with one 'specialist equine practice' and won't have one of the (fortunately many) vets from another practice on the yard.
 
YummyHorses said:
@SpringFeather - it was the vet. They dont have a receptionist.
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Hmm then it sounds like a misunderstanding. I think if it was me I'd go round and see the vet face to face and explain what was actually meant by what was said in the email. If this vet is a good one, don't lose it all for the sake of a petty argument. I have fallen out with one of my very long-term vets before (I use 3 different equine vet practices), due to him making a huge mistake with a specialist case and I took my horse away from his clinic and put it at one of the other clinics. He would not speak to me for months and months but I still had him come out to do the usual stuff at my farm. I didn't care that he didn't speak to me, I continued on as usual in my light-hearted manner. Eventually a long time later he just started speaking to me again and we're now back to how we always were before. We never mention the mistake and it's best kept quiet I believe :)
 
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YummyHorses said:
He he on the baked beans.....well it made me laugh when I read it. My hubby is not horsie at all and could only explain his thinking by using two tins of baked beans as an analogy!!!

Maybe they dont like baked beans, maybe thats the problem, may they are a spaghetti hoops person....
Click to expand...

I reckon it touched a nerve - maybe they have been accused of being old farts or full of wind before?!!!;)
 
@SpringFeather - yep I can and probably should keep calm and carry on and horses always come first for me BUT being a one man band as a vet kinda makes you worry how you will be treated and dealt with in the future - kinda dont have a lot of room for movement when its them or them to treat your horse.

If its always frosty when they come round not going to be easy.....
 
To be honest a one man band would worry me a bit anyway.

In the bad snow last year my old boy (35) started to colic. I rang the vets and all the horse vets were out. They sent someone else, not one of the horse vets, at least I have never seen him before. He saved my boy and I cant help wondering what would have happened if it had been a small practice with no back up.

Perhaps it might be time for a change anyway.
 
rockysmum said:
To be honest a one man band would worry me a bit anyway.
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Me too. 2 of my vets are not quite one man bands as they have receptionists and trainees however there is only the 1 vet at each of these two practices. The 3rd lot of equine vets I use has 2 vets and all the receptionists, trainees also. I use 3 different practices because I have a lot of horses and I use each practice for different things BUT I know that in emergencies I can call on any 4 of those vets and at least one would be able to get to me. I expect the OP has other equine vets lined up should she need one in emergencies?
 
I think they have back ups but its not the same. Am gunna have a think.

Just not nice is it. I dont like having spats specially not on my day off!
 
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