How soon before/after..

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gable

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How soon before/after you had your horse pts did you buy another?

My horse is being PTS at the end of the summer.
I have already been looking for another horse and think I have found the one. he will never replace my old boy - but Its helping me deal with things.

Some people at my yard have had a go at me, saying he isn't even dead yet and I'm thinking about a new horse. They are the group of people who have to have an opinion on everything, even when its not asked for.

So what did you do?

Did you wait until you lost your horse? Or move on knowing you were about to lose your horse.
 
I have not been in your position, however, people deal with things in different ways and if finding another horse is helping you then bother the gossips at the yard.
 
I think you are sensible.

A few years ago I bought a youngster to bring on behind my old pony for when she could do less work and ultimately for when she passes on. My old pony is still being ridden and is 100% and hopefully will be for many years. I cannot see the difference between what I did and what you are doing it is just planning ahead sensibly.

No horse could ever replace my old pony she is a once in a lifetime pony and I bred her myself, but I would not want to give up riding when she passes on and I do not give her any less attention now.
 
can't really answer that one as ive always had more than one :rolleyes: but these people will have an opinion on anything so dont worry about what they say as long as you take care of the old boy till the end give him lots of love and a good send off then thats all that matters will you get new horse before old one goes ? i can remember thinking if i had not had another horse when i had my first pony pts i may not have carried on with horses as losing him was the biggest loss i had had , i had him so long we were soul mates it took me 3 weeks to even go to the stables where it happened luckily other horse was out in far field so i could visit her , do right by your boy while he is here and you will know you did all you could etc and enjoy the newbie and ignore the other people :p
 
I think it is entirely upto the individual and you shouldn't listen to nasty people. I was in the same position as you a few years ago. I had decided that my old horse would have the summer in the field before his trip to the rainbow bridge. So I went out and found another horse. Unfortunately, my other horse went downhill almost over night and I had to make the decision to have him pts earlier. It just so happened that my new horse arrived on the sunday and I said goodbye to my other on the monday.

It's not about trying to replace your other horse instantly. I found that it actually helped me to cope and if you are able to purchase another horse then go for it. And best of luck with whatever you decide.
 
I feel really guilty and a bit selfish.
I would normally be out hacking, or on a fun ride or doing a competition on a sunday, but instead I'm sat at my laptop.
I have done my yard jobs, give the old boy a good scratch and groom - now I'm lost and don't know what to do with myself.
i think people will think I will just give up on him when I get a new one - but that's not the case. Other than scratches and grooming, I can't do anything else with him
 
If your current horse is not rideable or is being PTS its up to you and if you have found a good horse snap it up! You know in the long term you can give this newbie a good home and all I can say is finding the Next one is not easy and I havent had one PTS.

Its no one elses business and you just do what is right for you. As long as the horses are looked after who are they to judge. They are being insensitive not you. Cant believe what some people are like(but I can)! Judgemental wish I could be so perfect like them.
 
stella65 said:
can't really answer that one as ive always had more than one :rolleyes: but these people will have an opinion on anything so dont worry about what they say as long as you take care of the old boy till the end give him lots of love and a good send off then thats all that matters will you get new horse before old one goes ? i can remember thinking if i had not had another horse when i had my first pony pts i may not have carried on with horses as losing him was the biggest loss i had had , i had him so long we were soul mates it took me 3 weeks to even go to the stables where it happened luckily other horse was out in far field so i could visit her , do right by your boy while he is here and you will know you did all you could etc and enjoy the newbie and ignore the other people :p
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Yes - I will get a new one before he goes. if I don't, I don't think I will be able to get another one.
I'm not having him PTS sleep at the yard either - I am taking him to the vets. I love my yard - my YO is my trainer and very good friend. I won't be able to go back there if he is PTS there. He has been to the vets a few times recently and isn't at all bothered - he loves the fuss the nurses give him and is so used to boxing up and going out and about, he will think he is going to a party.
 
How silly of them!
If you think you have found the right horse for you, go for it.
When the others have a go at you point out to them that a woman who has a second child has enough love for both children.
 
I lost my last horse in dec and I made the decision that he was to be pts as I felt that he was suffering and not responding to bute to keep him comfortable. During the time of waiting for him to be pts my YO got a horse in to sell for a woman. As I couldnt ride my horse she asked if I would like to ride her for her. I fell in love and told YO I was interested in her and she kept her for me until my boy was PTS and my OH came home xmas time to see her. MY OH liked her too and I bought her. She was never to replace my boy but she helped a great deal with loosing him.
I feel if I didnt have her to look after and ride etc before I bought her then I probably wouldnt have a horse to this day.
Its all up to the individual but it was the right thing for me to do in the circumstances.
 
don't take any notice of them ,how cruel :(

i bought a foal to bring on when my mare was 14 thinking he'd take over when she needed to slow down but i found my mare dead in the field a year later and foal was still only 18month :( but thank god i'd bought him ,he got me through it

i wouldn't have bothered to get out the house if it wasn't that i had to go and see him ,i then bought a friends horse a couple of months after she died to ride until my youngster was ready to back

do whatever you feel is right for you ,the new horse will give you a reason to carry on when the time comes to say goodbye to your old horse

good luck
 
Thank you for your replies - How did you find bonding with your new horse knowing you were about to/have just lost another. My old boy is a once in a lifetime horse and I am going to miss him so much - I don't want to compare another horse to him
 
i cant comment on horses because im a first tiem owner - but i can on dogs.

My old boy died 9 years ago and the house was just so empty - we were used to dogs, needed one to love - not to replace.

We went a week after and bought a pup who is now 9 - please ignore them, its your life - you gave a good home ot one horse and can do so again.

If - god forbid - somehting happened to my horse i know i would buy another to bestow all my love on.

Please ignore these silly people xxx
 
Everyone grieves differently. If you feel like this is your way to move on and accept his loss then *******s to everyone else. You are doing your horse the ultimate in care and dedication to his wellbeing- what do you have to gain by being miserable and horseless afterwards?

As for moving on, I don't think you ever do. I knew I was losing my horse last summer, and I still cry about him and miss him terribly but I've moved on I think. Remember the awesome times and remember how much fun you had with him, not the fact he's not here anymore. He'd want you to be happy.
 
How dare they. My chap I had for twenty five years and when the end came I thought I would take some time before I looked for another horse. A friend contacted me two months after and told me about a mare she thought would be good for me, was not sure but went and had a look as I was starting to get bored with my life suddenly nothing to do . I went and saw her and the rest is history so you can never really tell, I did feel guilty at the time but I will never forget him, she has not replaced him and I am happy that I did make the right choice for me.
 
My horse died on the 26th november last year, I swore never ever again would I have another.

The next day I woke up and had no idea how to fill my day as he had taken up soo much of my time.

2 months later my daughter had her pony.

Still not my own riding horse butt day is kept busy with pony .

Do not be made to feel bad, what ever feels right to you is the only thing that maters xx
 
Your choice!
Some people never get over the loss of a horse, and it stops them riding forever. Obviously you'll never "replace" your old one, but there's no reason why you can't have another afterwards!
 
when biscuit number 1 had to be pts i already had diamond and she helped me through the time of sadness cried on her etc.

i find some people have to wait a while before they get a nother #


others need to get one to help thhem through the time to come'
every one is different having diamond certainly helped me
 
gable said:
Thank you for your replies - How did you find bonding with your new horse knowing you were about to/have just lost another. My old boy is a once in a lifetime horse and I am going to miss him so much - I don't want to compare another horse to him
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I had had Charlie for 14 years when I fell in love with Rosie I bought her with view to retire Charlie and ride her. Last year Charlie didnt winter well and Rosie was due a foal (was being sold on)

Rosie had her foal the day I was told that Charlie would be pts. At that time I was diatraught and couldnt face the thought of saying goodbye but they really kept me going, my OH decided we should keep Bailey as it was a sign. I had a number of horrible comments, when the day came to say goodbye having the other two really helped it forced me to go to the yard, was still hard.
I have never compared them, they are totally different I will always remember the 19yrs we had and smile fondly but it is time to make new memories with Rosie and Bailey:)
 
Firstly it doesn't matter a jot what anyone else thinks. If you've found the right horse, then go for it. It will give you a reason to get up in the morning even when you are grieving for the one you are going to lose. x
 
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