how to be subtle

C

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My mate is looking for a new horse. Her budget is, well tiny, but she keeps sending me links of x racers or "not novice ride".
However
She is very much a novice. Don't get me wrong I can see she has potential to be a good rider, its just the last horse, though lovely, wasn't really the best first horse, so she never got to improve as he had soundness issues and could be very spooky. And he was also a rather flashy DWB.
How do I tell her that she needs to focus on the horse that will let her learn and develop so she can get out and confidently have fun...rather than one that looks very flash, but she is worried to ride.She is a sensitive soul and would take it personally if I don't word it right.
Personally I think she is a cob snob....but she would never admit that to me as my own is 50% cob and Im not ashamed to admit it...sharpest horse I have had as well.
I sent her a link to an add I saw that sounded spot on and said to her to phone...she has ignored it. I just feel were about to go looking for hens teeth here!!
 
Not a lot you can do, has she tried any of these horses out, once she has ridden a few, maybe she'll change her mind.

What you have said is not offensive though, that you think she needs a horse she will enjoy and have confidence in, rather than something that will be a lot of hard work, time consuming, and not ready to get out and about with immediately. She should be able to cope with something stated along those lines.
 
We went to see one the other day....so wrong....she hardly rode it, got my teenager to ride it...who rode it fine, but said she felt it wasn't for our friend as the horse was unfit and she felt bright. Thought we had sorted a deffo no...then she says she thinks she wants it...lucky I had grounds to change her mind as it had terrible feet.
 
Can you be subtle in this situation? Its a common adult novice mistake and I know, because I made it. After a childhood spent dreaming of the perfect (looking) horse, I went out and bought something that would have looked amazing on a horsey calendar. But he nearly killed me, having more bloody issues that you could shake a stick at, and it nearly put me off riding for life. You need to be straight with her.
 
I think as a friend all you can do is just be honest, give opinions if she asks for them, support her by going to view some of the horses and again just say what you think but in a nice way, if she ingores, well it's her decision at the end of the day.
 
Well if she has a tiny budget and wants something flash looking and has been sending adverts for ex-racers why not talk to your nearest charity for ex-racers? They will be very careful to match her to something suitable to her ability. They will also have some horses who aren't your typical ex-racer type and are more laid back, especially if they have been rehomed once and returned a bit older.

You might not find something straight away but it might be worth a try. Not all TBs are nuts, and cobs are often not great for novice types as they can be very intelligent and cunning and quickly learn how to use their weight against a novice rider both on the ground and under saddle.
 
She wants something that lives out so in the north of Scotland a cob or native cross would be more economical. I know what you mean about sterio types, my last horse was an x racer..so laid back and gentle anyone could handle him and my daughter when she was only eleven rode him. My mare now is cob x WB and she is a power house, works her rider out in a second and can very much use her WB brain and cob weight against you...I would not put my friend on her.
She is just so god dam impatient...she forgets that even though we are the same age, I have had horses since a kid....first one I had was native who would never set the world alight, but taught me lots and forgave even more. I only got my "flash" horse when it was horse number four...oh and I got him cos he was right for me not cos he was flash.
But you are all right...honesty is the best policy.
 
If you don't want to hurt her feelings, get someone else to tell her, you could ask your local trainer to give her a riding evaluation then come with you to view the horses. Maybe she'll listen, plus another set of eyes is good when buying a horse, that way someone else can be honest and they don't have to worry about hurting her feelings.
If her and the horse are mismatched then it's unfair for both of them.
 
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