How to calm a scared horse

Keira 8888

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You could try deep breathing and lowering your heartrate even if you are worried mind over matter will help behaviour accelerates the higher your heart rate so if you can keep calm it will make him think all is well. His trust is what gives you control he is following your lead. Yes something might make both of you jump but if your heart rate drops to normal really quickly he will calm. I have always gone on the principle if you expect trouble you will get it but if you dont then it is a rare and surprising occurance
View attachment 62340View attachment 62341
Two year old at the adventure playground the only one of a big group to do every obstacle first time of asking
Ah! What a beautiful pony!!!!!!! How have you got him this well trained???
 

Keira 8888

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That's why singing helps if your nervous because you have to breathe! I lost my confidence after an accident I had and I used to tense up so badly and stop breathing so this helped me loads, you need to relax as well because horses pick up on all of the negative things we put out unfortunately, I know sometimes if I am a bit hormonal and miserable my horses pick up on it and I often don't ride if I am in a certain frame of mind it's not worth it, but we are all flesh and blood and everyday is never the same.
Bloody hell that’s pretty crazy that they can sense all this. And I know you are so right, when I am having a weak MS day it really unsettles Prince. So many people say “fake it till you make it” but it’s so bloody hard! When your heart is thumping away! I guess it’s a good life lesson ?
 

windand rain

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Ah! What a beautiful pony!!!!!!! How have you got him this well trained???
She was as wild as a coot 2 months earlier straight of a hill. It was just treating her as if she was a seaside donkey and making sure she trusted me she has never put a foot wrong as I dont expect her to
She just goes where the person with her goes, now she is ridden she often leads the older bigger horses passed the scary bits like workmen down holes and dogs on chains throwing themselves against gates etc
 

Keira 8888

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That's why singing helps if your nervous because you have to breathe! I lost my confidence after an accident I had and I used to tense up so badly and stop breathing so this helped me loads, you need to relax as well because horses pick up on all of the negative things we put out unfortunately, I know sometimes if I am a bit hormonal and miserable my horses pick up on it and I often don't ride if I am in a certain frame of mind it's not worth it, but we are all flesh and blood and everyday is never the same.
Sorry to be nosey... but what happened in your accident? X
 

Pinkvboots

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I have 2 Arabs thet are very spooky even in our arena that they are used to they still spook at certain areas, I find I have to not look at where they are looking and I purposefully give them something different to do in that space it might be a circle a leg yield a transition anything just to get them focused on me, and I think that is the main thing if you can get your horse to focus on you your winning in all situations.
 

Not_so_brave_anymore

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To be honest I think I’m the problem not him! What you describe above e.g white eyed and dripping with sweat, I have thank fully not had to encounter!

I think it’s just my inexperience with a big animal that is making me nervous. And I’m an idiot because so far I havent had to deal with it! Arghh! I don’t know why I traumatise myself with issues that haven’t even happened.

Having totally over horsed myself I know I have come through a lot - in terms of investigating his medical problems and getting him on the right feed - but I’m embarrassed to admit I’m still scared of walking out alone. I wish I could get past this x
(I sometimes feel this way with a tiny little 12hh pony ? In my defence, even though she's much smaller than a proper horse, she's still much bigger and stronger than me! Ps I definitely never used to feel this way ?)
 

Keira 8888

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I have 2 Arabs thet are very spooky even in our arena that they are used to they still spook at certain areas, I find I have to not look at where they are looking and I purposefully give them something different to do in that space it might be a circle a leg yield a transition anything just to get them focused on me, and I think that is the main thing if you can get your horse to focus on you your winning in all situations.
Jeez that sounds pretty complicated! Getting them to focus on just you - argh! I feel like this horse world is a mountain to climb. And that’s not a problem, because I have all the time in the world to climb it, BUT it seems to take a combination of courage, knowledge and determination to conquer. All of which I (think) I have - but bloody hell, do you horse women ever stop to think - hell yes! We are pretty invisible!
 

windand rain

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But how did you do that? As in, make her trust you?
I am pretty chilled as a person but did learn to keep calm myself in everything I do with her. She had sand colic last year which of course worried me but I made sure she didn't know it. She was born with a good temperament so that helped a lot. Her breeder told us to come early to collect her as she had never been boxed so it would give us time. I simply did 5 minutes groundwork, back forward and moving her feet 10 minutes later we were driving out the yard it has a lot to do with good groundwork, knowing when to apply a little pressure and when to release it so you never lose faith. There are many excellent trainers to teach you these things and it will improve you faith in your ability to cope should the rare reaction occur
Oh and i never shout yank or hit an animal as that raises adrenilin and exacerbates most situations
 

Keira 8888

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I am pretty chilled as a person but did learn to keep calm myself in everything I do with her. She had sand colic last year which of course worried me but I made sure she didn't know it. She was born with a good temperament so that helped a lot. Her breeder told us to come early to collect her as she had never been boxed so it would give us time. I simply did 5 minutes groundwork, back forward and moving her feet 10 minutes later we were driving out the yard it has a lot to do with good groundwork, knowing when to apply a little pressure and when to release it so you never lose faith. There are many excellent trainers to teach you these things and it will improve you faith in your ability to cope should the rare reaction occur
Oh and i never shout yank or hit an animal as that raises adrenilin and exacerbates most situations

So have you ever had any moments that tested your calmness? Or any moments where you were worried and not sure what to do? X
 

Pinkvboots

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Sorry to be nosey... but what happened in your accident? X

I was just cantering in the school and my horse fell over and I went with him so my leg was underneath him, I was very lucky I had 2 fractures in my ankle so I had to have surgery and I have a plate in it now, it did shake me I had ridden this horse for 14 years and he just went over I don't know why, I still ride him it's been a struggle but I feel a lot better now but I will never be as confident as I was I have to accept that I think!
 

Keira 8888

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I was just cantering in the school and my horse fell over and I went with him so my leg was underneath him, I was very lucky I had 2 fractures in my ankle so I had to have surgery and I have a plate in it now, it did shake me I had ridden this horse for 14 years and he just went over I don't know why, I still ride him it's been a struggle but I feel a lot better now but I will never be as confident as I was I have to accept that I think!
Bloody hell, what a shock, was it very hard to get back on after the surgery?
 

Not_so_brave_anymore

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Tell me more!!! Is she difficult to handle!? X
She's always been as gold with a bridle on except just ONE time when she very deliberately dumped my son (defo no pain, just excitement /frustration at bring made to walk sensibly across a big open field. As soon as we got out the field and back on the lane she switched straight back into dobbin mode). I can't imagine ever trusting her with my kids again tbh. Turns out I'm just not brave enough to be a horsey mum, and I'm working very hard to frame this as a "realisation" rather than a "failure" ?
 

Pinkvboots

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Bloody hell, what a shock, was it very hard to get back on after the surgery?

The break was fixed in 2 weeks but I had major soft tissue damage so I couldn't walk and my leg and foot was so swollen I couldn't put a normal shoe on, I literally had no walk reflex I used to have to tip toe walk for ages and I had a strap boot thing I had to wear, I did it in November and I started riding in March but I had no strength in my leg at all so it used to shake when I rode, when I had a lesson we did have a proper laugh about it as it just used to swing!!

It's still not as strong as my other leg but hey ho it could be so much worse I don't like touching it or looking at it but I make do, it won't bloody stop me from doing what I want.
 

Keira 8888

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She's always been as gold with a bridle on except just ONE time when she very deliberately dumped my son (defo no pain, just excitement /frustration at bring made to walk sensibly across a big open field. As soon as we got out the field and back on the lane she switched straight back into dobbin mode). I can't imagine ever trusting her with my kids again tbh. Turns out I'm just not brave enough to be a horsey mum, and I'm working very hard to frame this as a "realisation" rather than a "failure" ?
This is so sad ?
 

Keira 8888

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The break was fixed in 2 weeks but I had major soft tissue damage so I couldn't walk and my leg and foot was so swollen I couldn't put a normal shoe on, I literally had no walk reflex I used to have to tip toe walk for ages and I had a strap boot thing I had to wear, I did it in November and I started riding in March but I had no strength in my leg at all so it used to shake when I rode, when I had a lesson we did have a proper laugh about it as it just used to swing!!

It's still not as strong as my other leg but hey ho it could be so much worse I don't like touching it or looking at it but I make do, it won't bloody stop me from doing what I want.

Ah! But you did it anyway! You absolute champion! That is pure strength - you rode through it! Not just physical strength but mental strength too. Sometimes it’s your heart that gets you to the finish line - pure heart. That’s my girl - keep going old bean xxxx
 

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Ah! But you did it anyway! You absolute champion! That is pure strength - you rode through it! Not just physical strength but mental strength too. Sometimes it’s your heart that gets you to the finish line - pure heart. That’s my girl - keep going old bean xxxx

Aww thanks your up late my oh goes to bed early he has a busy work life I am up tonight drinking a lovely damson gin and tonic bought by a good friend, what's your excuse?
 

windand rain

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Not for one minute she has never been silly about anything, Mind you I have been a horse owner for 50 years so not much surprises me. I have been handling foals to eventers all my life but groundwork was my light bulb moment, didnt know how it came fairly naturally in my general way of doing things it has always been firm but fair, strict house rules and lines drawn in the sand with kids, grandkids, dogs and horses when boundaries are clear and unchanging it is the basis for good manners all round, Someone asked my 2 year old granddaughter why she was a good quiet girl her reply was "because grandma doesn't do whinging". Still true now 15 years and 5 more grandkids down the line,
 

Keira 8888

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Aww thanks your up late my oh goes to bed early he has a busy work life I am up tonight drinking a lovely damson gin and tonic bought by a good friend, what's your excuse?
Ha! Well, my OH is snoring away in bed. It’s bliss!!!!!! He has been a royal grump all day, when he and the kids go to bed I am totally free! I’m off to check on Prince in a few minutes... I’m also working my way through a LARGE box of chocolates ☺️☺️☺️ Before I had Prince I was a skinny trophy wife who did her hair and makeup for every occasion.. but NOW! I am covered in hay with broken nails and a constant aroma of horse pee! And I couldn’t be happier!!!!!!!
 

Keira 8888

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Not for one minute she has never been silly about anything, Mind you I have been a horse owner for 50 years so not much surprises me. I have been handling foals to eventers all my life but groundwork was my light bulb moment, didnt know how it came fairly naturally in my general way of doing things it has always been firm but fair, strict house rules and lines drawn in the sand with kids, grandkids, dogs and horses when boundaries are clear and unchanging it is the basis for good manners all round, Someone asked my 2 year old granddaughter why she was a good quiet girl her reply was "because grandma doesn't do whinging". Still true now 15 years and 5 more grandkids down the line,

Bloody hell! 50 years!!! Massive respect to you ??? So if you could give ONE piece of advice (only one) to novice owners -the most important bit of advice that you have learnt over the years - what would if be? X
 

windand rain

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Learn to do groundwork and the timing of pressure release it will be the most confidence building thing you can do both handling and riding your horse as you will know when he is going to do something before he does. Observe every muscle twitch and ear flick they really do talk to you. yes 50 years owner rode 5 years before that at a trekking center am 67 next month and still have 4 ponies rising 25,16,6 and 3 bought tKitten as a 6 month old for my 65 bithday. Family think I am nuts. Rarely ride now and don't bounce too well but will never be without them
 
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Pinkvboots

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Ha! Well, my OH is snoring away in bed. It’s bliss!!!!!! He has been a royal grump all day, when he and the kids go to bed I am totally free! I’m off to check on Prince in a few minutes... I’m also working my way through a LARGE box of chocolates ☺️☺️☺️ Before I had Prince I was a skinny trophy wife who did her hair and makeup for every occasion.. but NOW! I am covered in hay with broken nails and a constant aroma of horse pee! And I couldn’t be happier!!!!!!!

Ha ha I am still a bit of a shadow trophy wife but have certain traits but also have horse keeping flaws that have just stuck with me!! I still have decent nails but they are shorter and I do them myself but yeah still stink of horse p and my clothes are covered in hay, thing is my horses are at home so there is no escape which I love
 

Keira 8888

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Learn to do groundwork and the timing of pressure release it will be the most confidence building thing you can do both handling and riding your horse as you will know when he is going to do something before he does. Observe every muscle twitch and ear flick they really do talk to you. yes 50 years owner rode 5 years before that at a trekking center am 67 next month and still have 4 ponies rising 25,16,6 and 3 bought tKitten as a 6 month old for my 65 bithday. Family think I am nuts. Rarely ride now and don't bounce too well but will never be without them

Do you use a certain type of head collar to aid with pressure and release? X
 

Keira 8888

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Ha ha I am still a bit of a shadow trophy wife but have certain traits but also have horse keeping flaws that have just stuck with me!! I still have decent nails but they are shorter and I do them myself but yeah still stink of horse p and my clothes are covered in hay, thing is my horses are at home so there is no escape which I love

Ha! Oh I hear you! I really want to adhere to the le mieux matchy matchy but I’m turning out to be more of an ASDA hay covered disaster!!
 

PurBee

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I think all horses have their own individual ways that they handle stress and methods that bring them down from stress.
As you get to know Prince more you’ll find methods thats work for him personally.
Mostly the human handler remaining very calm, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening, is always very helpful for the stressed horse.
I used to freak if they freaked. Cue a circular freakout between us all LOL when i say i freaked, it was internally, i never showed it. Yet they picked it up.
So i’ve practiced, to remain calm WITHiN and without when they freak. Mainly by breathing slowly. Breathe In through nose slowly, and out thru mouth, slowly. I practice this when there’s no stress so i have it as a ’habit’ This method slows down your heart-rate automatically, Ive tested it with a heart rate monitor!

Singing has been mentioned and ive used that too. Their favourite is ‘amazing grace’ as its a very chilled out melody....and by god, do i need a dose of divine grace when handling 2 stressed out arabs!! ?

My mare is more chilled and tends to freeze when stressed, looking at me concerned. My gelding dances and prances and completely needs my calm voice, body language and telling what to do. I keep my face poker faced calm, as they read my facial expressions.

Whenever theyre in a pickle, like escaped the field, and dont know how to get back in!....they holler to me and i find one in and one out, theyre both stressed, and i lower the electric fence line for the escapee to cross back in. Sometimes it doesnt work out and the other seizes the opportunity to escape too, running like smug toddlers that theyve got one over on me, so i leave the fence on the ground, and walk away calmly, calling them, ‘come on then’....eventually when they lose eyesight of me they run to the lowered fence , into their field, to catch up with me.
Before, when i reacted stressed id be following them loose, and running all over the place to ‘herd’ them back to the field, i’d rarely get the job done quickly, be knackered, stressed, and they’d be more ‘high’ from the adventure...i’d get no-where and heart-thumping would have to yell for help (hoping OH hears me, rarely!)...it was a nightmare.
Once i bonded with them as ‘herd leader’ then i could walk around the land and call them to me. This worked. So when something freaks them, and they get away from me, run down the country rough track even (not used by traffic), i’d swivel, head back home, calling them and they’ll follow me.

So i think practicing calling your horse and him coming to you is a good safeguard to use IF he gets away, as you represent, safety, answers, security.

Initially to get him to come to call, call him when he’s grazing and out of eyesight to you. when he arrives give a handful of hay. The use of food with animals rarely fails as a reward and wires their brains that them coming when you call they get something good. This wiring is useful to use in stress situations. They dont like to run off alone, and you symbolise safety and reward once they get to know you.

Being calm and gentle energy works more than anything. My OH picked up in our trailer horses not used to trailers. Hes not a horseman and i was too ill to go. I’d given him pointers to load them, mainly to be calm and gentle, patient. The keepers of the horses were ‘experienced’ horse-people. Theyre spending ages trying to load as my OH stood by, thinking they knew best. Theyre whacking the horses to get them to move into the trailer. one horse eventually loads, the other, younger, rising 2, wild, kicky horse plants his feet and refuses. Theyre using sticks and ropes to pull him in, yanking on the bridle, nothings working. Its taking ages and everyone is fed up.
Eventually, my OH takes the leadrope and strokes the horses neck, and walks into the trailer with the horse following him calmly.
My OH has the ability to be extremely calm in the most stressful situations. I’ve not known such calmness reaction in anyone else in life.
He, being the complete novice around horses, has taught me more how to handle horses, than all the years of riding and handling of horses i had done!!
Natural calmness and courage, no fear is inate in him. He doesn’t appreciate how rare and lucky he has that capacity as it’s natural for him.
So i’ve practiced calmness, moreso than ‘techniques’ from experts, although they are useful too without a doubt, yet without calmness, the techniques are ineffective.
 
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Keira 8888

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I think all horses have their own individual ways that they handle stress and methods that bring them down from stress.
As you get to know Prince more you’ll find methods thats work for him personally.
Mostly the human handler remaining very calm, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening, is always very helpful for the stressed horse.
I used to freak if they freaked. Cue a circular freakout between us all LOL when i say i freaked, it was internally, i never showed it. Yet they picked it up.
So i’ve practiced, to remain calm WITHiN and without when they freak. Mainly by breathing slowly. Breathe In through nose slowly, and out thru mouth, slowly. I practice this when there’s no stress so i have it as a ’habit’ This method slows down your heart-rate automatically, Ive tested it with a heart rate monitor!

Singing has been mentioned and ive used that too. Their favourite is ‘amazing grace’ as its a very chilled out melody....and by god, do i need a dose of divine grace when handling 2 stressed out arabs!! ?

My mare is more chilled and tends to freeze when stressed, looking at me concerned. My gelding dances and prances and completely needs my calm voice, body language and telling what to do. I keep my face poker faced calm, as they read my facial expressions.

Whenever theyre in a pickle, like escaped the field, and dont know how to get back in!....they holler to me and i find one in and one out, theyre both stressed, and i lower the electric fence line for the escapee to cross back in. Sometimes it doesnt work out and the other seizes the opportunity to escape too, running like smug toddlers that theyve got one over on me, so i leave the fence on the ground, and walk away calmly, calling them, ‘come on then’....eventually when they lose eyesight of me they run to the lowered fence , into their field, to catch up with me.
Before, when i reacted stressed id be following them loose, and running all over the place to ‘herd’ them back to the field, i’d rarely get the job done quickly, be knackered, stressed, and they’d be more ‘high’ from the adventure...i’d get no-where and heart-thumping would have to yell for help (hoping OH hears me, rarely!)...it was a nightmare.
Once i bonded with them as ‘herd leader’ then i could walk around the land and call them to me. This worked. So when something freaks them, and they get away from me, run down the country rough track even (not used by traffic), i’d swivel, head back home, calling them and they’ll follow me.

So i think practicing calling your horse and him coming to you is a good safeguard to use IF he gets away, as you represent, safety, answers, security.

Initially to get him to come to call, call him when he’s grazing and out of eyesight to you. when he arrives give a handful of hay. The use of food with animals rarely fails as a reward and wires their brains that them coming when you call they get something good. This wiring is useful to use in stress situations. They dont like to run off alone, and you symbolise safety and reward once they get to know you.

Being calm and gentle energy works more than anything. My OH picked up in our trailer horses not used to trailers. Hes not a horseman and i was too ill to go. I’d given him pointers to load them, mainly to be calm and gentle, patient. The keepers of the horses were ‘experienced’ horse-people. Theyre spending ages trying to load as my OH stood by, thinking they knew best. Theyre whacking the horses to get them to move into the trailer. one horse eventually loads, the other, younger, rising 2, wild, kicky horse plants his feet and refuses. Theyre using sticks and ropes to pull him in, yanking on the bridle, nothings working. Its taking ages and everyone is fed up.
Eventually, my OH takes the leadrope and strokes the horses neck, and walks into the trailer with the horse following him calmly.
My OH has the ability to be extremely calm in the most stressful situations. I’ve not known such calmness reaction in anyone else in life.
He, being the complete novice around horses, has taught me more how to handle horses, than all the years of riding and handling of horses i had done!!
Natural calmness and courage, no fear is inate in him. He doesn’t appreciate how rare and lucky he has that capacity as it’s natural for him.
So i’ve practiced calmness, moreso than ‘techniques’ from experts, although they are useful too without a doubt, yet without calmness, the techniques are ineffective.

Thank you so much for this, massively helpful xxx
 
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