How to cope with bitchiness on yard?

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ever_hopeful

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I've been at my new yard for about 4 months, and keep my 2 horses in a barn with 6 other stables in it. So far, everyone else sharing the barn with mine are really nice people; however, early last week a new horse arrived - stabled in one of the boxes opposite mine and the two people looking after it are very bossy, intimidating - offering unsolicited advice within a day of arriving and getting short shrift from me in return, and today I discovered that they are bitching to the other liveries in our barn, about me. Nothing in particular, just the odd comment. Sneering expression when my name is mentioned, etc. but in light of the fact that this is the first weekend they've been at the yard and met all of the other liveries - it doesn't bode well. I met the people in question on the day they arrived and we chatted and I admired their horse. They seemed nice. I then saw them the following morning, just briefly, and have not seen them since as we keep different hours.

I know I shouldn't be so sensitive, but it's really upset me hearing this, this morning. I cant help how I feel - annoying though it is. I've got butterflies in my stomach and am feeling half angry and half hurt. It's embarrassing to think of being talked about behind my back for no reason.

Anyway, how do you deal with people like that on your yard? Especially when they are in such close proximity to you? I'm dreading bumping into them. I am either going to be blatently rude to them, or keep a low profile and end up keeping out of their way - which I resent - even as I type this.
 
Sorry never had this problem, as never been on a livery yard. I opted to keep my horses on the local farm and rent a field, this way I can keep out of all bitchiness on yards LOL
 
You have as much right to be there as they do you all pay livery. Shoulders back "boobs" out and put a smile on your face.

Make sure you say hello to them as this will throw them, smile as they will not know whats going on. Dont hide away this is what they want.

I also think if they are talking about me someone else is being left alone. If you take the higher level and are always nice and dont run them down to other people then you are have nothing to worry about.
 
Hmmm, it's a difficult one. I would be inclined to be extra nice and smiley when you see them and not be tempted to bitch about them behind their backs (not that I'm implying you would!) even though it may be tempting.

That way, they can't really say anything about you at all, and if they do, the other liveries could only disagree with what they are saying, if that makes sense?

It's hard when a new livery comes onto an established yard, I would just ignore it and see what happens when they have settled in, and if it's still carrying on or getting worse, tackle them about it, or maybe have a word with the livery yard manager?

It is very upsetting though, when you find out that people have been talking about you behind your back.
 
Perhaps just ask the people who have repeated the bitchy comments to you, not to do that in future? Then smile at the new people, say hello and thank them for their 'advice' but carry on doing what you want to do.
 
Just smile and ignore.

Carry on being the nice and friendly person to everyone, that I'm sure you are. They'll soon shut up - or move on. You may ultimately find out that they are serial yard hoppers. People like that usually are. And 6 months is about the length of time they usually stay.
 
i would just rise above it!! in my experience the ones who are like this (constantly bitching about others) are the ones who have low self confidence due to constant failings with horses and never quite getting where they want to be ect, its a green eye'd monster thing. Dont rise to it, feel sorry for them, if it wasnt you they were bitching about it would be someone else, some people just cant help themselves!!!
 
Smile, ignore them, and they'll soon find nothing to bitch about. As AmyMay says, people like this don't tend to last long.
smile.gif
 
The other liverys already know you, so they will know if the new people are lying and trying to cause disruption. If they 'offer advice' just say "Thanks" ignore and carry on in your normal manner.
 
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just say "Thanks" ignore and carry on in your normal manner.

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I agree. I've come across this at yards before. Best thing to do is greet them with a big smile, cheery hello then don't hang about for conversation.
 
i agree with all the advice to be super smiley and ignore everything they are saying!! everyone will then wonder how they can say so many horrid things about such a nice smiley person!! it will be them that look like bitter jealous idiots soon.... (i have the same situation except that everyone apart from 3 people on yard is involved- inc YM- and i just smile and say hello but don't talk to them about my horses which annoys them as they have ni idea what i'm doing and so can't criticise me. i know they slag me off but i'm happy with my horses and my riding so i just ignore them....)
smile.gif
 
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